"You're so hot" Kendall muttered against my lips as we made out on my bed and she put her hand on my butt under my skirt, and we were interrupted by my mom walking in and I rolled off my girlfriend reluctantly
"Hello Kendall" she said
"Hello Ms Healy" she smiled with swollen lips
"Why'd you say hello to her before me?" I complained
"I can see you're very busy with bible study, but you need this door open if your girlfriend is here" she said
"Mom, I'm not a little kid, leave us alone" I groaned
"It's a rule. You made sure that Matty never got away with it when he was your age, so it's unfair to not expect the same from you" she said sternly and walked out of the room without closing the door behind her
"What a bitch" I whispered and straddled my girlfriend again
"Woah, the door's open" she said and held my hips "I can't perform if people are watching"
"Don't flatter yourself, no one's looking" I said and got up to close the door then she pushed me onto my back and got on top of me. We locked lips and she traced patterns on my thigh that was under my skirt, then took my shirt off, she'd taken my tie off earlier to make it more comfortable for me.
"Now where were we?"
"You were calling me hot and feeling me up right about here" I said and moved her hand so it was fully on my ass. She bit her lip and chuckled, then kissed my neck softly and slowly. The door opened again and my mom had her arms folded, so Kendall rolled off me and sighed loudly.
"What did I say?" She asked
"You say a lot of things" I said
"Keep the door open" she snapped and walked out
"I'm so sorry about her" I said
"Why don't we go somewhere else and do stuff?" She asked and pressed light kisses along my jawline
"Like where?"
"Like my car" she said "in the backseat, I can drive us down to the lake and we can have some fun there"
"Yeah, let me get a blanket" I said and put my shirt back on as she looked at my small collection of stuffed animals and teddy bears
"Good idea" she said and threw a stuffed animal at me
"Don't throw Mr Cuddles at me" I pouted "tell him you're sorry"
"I'm very sorry Mr Cuddles" she said and I laughed "is Mr Cuddles coming to the lake?"
"I'll cuddle you instead" I said and got a fuzzy grey blanket from out of my dresser
"Another great idea" she said "will your mom let you go with me?"
"She doesn't have to know it's you" I said "let's go. Drive a little further down the street and act like you're going and I'll say that I'm staying over at Olivia's"
"Good plan babe" she said and kissed my temple then my lips "are you excited?"
"I'm very excited" I said and she smacked my butt then walked out of the house. I watched her drive away and so did my mom.
"She seems bad for you. Too scandalous" she shook her head "my girl deserves a gentleman. Or woman, not someone who wants sex before knowing that before long"
"Mom, we've known each other all our lives" I groaned "Olivia's invited me over so I'll walk there now"
"For the night?" She asked "it's a school night"
"But all my other friends are gonna be there" I whined
"Ok, just get enough sleep and come here before school" she said
"I will" I chirped and pecked her cheek then walked out of the door
"Have fun" she said
"But not too much fun!" I shouted back to her, making her smile. I walked down the street to where Kendall's car was and she was smoking a cigarette in there, which I disliked intensely. I opened the door and she immediately flicked it out of the window then sprayed some air freshener around.
"Happy?" She asked
"Not unhappy" I shrugged and she kissed my neck for a few seconds then started driving. She was playing some pretty loud rock music and it sounded like the kind of music Matty and his stupid band made "Matty's band sounds like this" I said loudly so she could hear me
"Yeah? What's it called again?"
"Drive Like I Do" I said
"He's so cool" she said
"No, no he is most definitely not cool" I said
"My friends are cool, don't talk about them like that" she smiled
"What about that kid who thinks she's emo but dresses like an extra from the Addams family?" I said and she laughed for a while about that
"Now you've said it I can't get that out of my head" she cackled and banged on the steering wheel "but your friends all look fake as hell, how do you keep up?"
"I don't, we've kinda split in half since Monday and I don't know why but I don't care cause Ashley called me a slut behind my back, just because I had loads of texts from boys on my phone that I don't even text back" I said
"So you're a catch" she said and reached over to put her hand on my thigh "I mean I knew already, you're hot and cute at the same time"
"Thanks babe. You have very good looks and you make me more adventurous" I said
"There's still more adventures, and I just got you to lie to your mom about it and we're gonna fool around in my car while she thinks you're safely at your friend's house" she said
"Sexy" I said and she squeezed my thigh then put both hands on the steering wheel again
"So how do I park at the lake?" She muttered
"You need to cut behind the dentists office and then there's a car park and it's never busy this time at night" I said. It was 10, so all the locals had gone home or left their cars here overnight. I showed her the way and she parked the car, and as soon as she'd put it in park I jumped into her lap and locked lips with her, our hands finding each other's necks and waists, slowly caressing each other's bodies.
"Oh god" she muttered
"What?"
"Wet wet wet" she said and I smiled and kissed her neck "how is that supposed to help?" She groaned
"It will distract you" I said
"From what? Not dying of sexual frustration?" She complained then kissed my earlobe and nibbled her way up it, trying her best to avoid the piercings "I want you baby. Preferably before I cum in my pants"
"Backseat?" I asked and she nodded, letting me out first. I hopped out of the car and she followed, her tie loose and her polo shirt undone near the top. I kissed her and she grabbed my butt over my skirt.
"Wait, I can put my backseat down and we can have more space" she said
"That's a smart idea" I said and waited for her to do it and she opened the trunk and we set the blanket down on the whole thing. She was right, there was definitely a lot more space. We got in there and she closed the tailgate and I could hear the lake water running in the background as the sun was setting over us.
"This was a good idea, well done me" she said and I crashed our lips together "baby, I have gin" she said and showed me a bottle she'd had wedged into the side of her trunk
"It's a school- never mind, give me some" I said and she opened the bottle
"I'm a terrible influence, maybe your mom has a point" she said and handed it to me after having a few swigs
"Will I be the school slut if I have sex with you in your car by the lake?" I asked and she chuckled
"You're not the school slut because you've only ever been with me, right?" She said and I nodded "you're pure as hell, don't worry about it"
"Thanks baby" I smiled and drank the gin which felt like it was burning holes in my throat and stomach. I stuck my tongue out in disgust and she took the opportunity of me having an open mouth to French kiss me. She lay on top of me and we rolled around in the trunk of her car for while as we drank more and more alcohol until we were desperately taking each other's clothes off and covering each other's necks in hickeys.
"I wanna fuck you so bad" she said and nibbled my earlobe, making me bite my lip "you're so sexy, I can't believe you're mine" she went on as she pressed soft kissed onto my jawline
"Oh baby" I moaned as she touched me tenderly and we kissed sloppily, and enjoyed all the highs that followed.
I woke up with Kendall's arms around me and the birds singing in the trees around the car. "Fuck" I muttered when I looked outside at the blazing morning sun.
"Hey babe" my girlfriend rasped in her morning voice
"Hi" I smiled and turned to face her. We had the blanket wrapped around our naked bodies as we held onto each other "I was so drunk last night, my head hurts"
"You were off your head, you kept shouting at me when I stopped fingering you even when you came" she laughed and I rolled my eyes at my own drunk behaviour
"I know, I'm sorry" I said and we kissed
"We should probably get up, school starts in an hour" she said
"Shit" I whispered and we hurriedly put our clothes on and she drove as fast as she could to my house "there's not enough time, just get on my ledge and I'll let you into my room"
"Ok babe" she said and immediately found a way up to the window, climbing up the trellis that went from the floor to just below the window and I rushed upstairs, leaving my mom looking very confused. I let Kendall in and we quickly got undressed and into the shower and I made sure to lock my bathroom door. She looked at me longingly the whole time, especially my tits but she resisted the urge to touch me for the time being, we'd had a good run last night so she was satisfied. I did my makeup and did my best to cover up all the hickeys on my neck, and then I did hers more naturally and she looked impressed. "I actually look pretty" she said, studying her face in the mirror.
"You always look pretty babe" I said and kissed her cheek. I texted Kylie to say that I was getting a lift to school and she replied with a winky face so I knew to expect questions about that. We got into her car while I was still doing my hair in a ponytail to hide how messy it was because of all the sex and drunkenness and the lack of time to wash it. We got to school just on time and I burst into home room during the class roll call and my name was just being called "here!" I shouted and sat next to Kylie
"Have fun last night? Here!" She said
"I got so drunk, I was off my head" I groaned
"You look like you had good sex though" she said
"Is it all the hickeys?" I asked
"No, I can't see em unless I look for em. It's the general glow, you just look happy" she shrugged
"Have a good day guys" Miss Jensen said and gave me a warning look because I was late but I was far too concerned about running into Kendall and having an awkward encounter after last night. I felt a lot more vulnerable for some reason now I'd slept naked in the almost outdoors with her while we were drunk, and I always felt a little awkward after sex anyway, but it was probably because I wasn't used to it yet.
"So who gave you the hickey?" I heard as soon as I left the classroom and saw her standing around with her friend Gigi by her locker. She saw me and nodded, biting her lip and looking at my legs that were exposed by my short skirt.
"I'm guessing you" Kylie whispered and I laughed
"I'm not gonna kiss and tell" Kendall said, looking right at me
"Fuck, she's exposing you both" my best friend hissed and pulled me away
"What's first period?" I asked
"History" Kylie sighed and I groaned loudly. I was still a little bit drunk from last night, but I was a grumpy kind of drunk, I felt like I was wading through jello and all the lights seemed too bright and everything sounded muffled. I used my friend Hailey's sunglasses and slept during history, then in geography and then through all of nutrition while we just lay down on the football field and while the senior boys tried to show off to us, running around us and doing tricks with their footballs. I felt better during English, and by lunch I was feeling a little less groggy and I was pretty sure I had all the alcohol out of my system.
"Sofia, what boys do you like?" Ashley asked me
"I don't know" I sighed, I'd had enough of boys forever, I just wanted that one girl that drove me crazy every time we looked at each other and made me feel wanted and loved.
"Is there too many?" She laughed and I rolled my eyes
"Honestly, I've had it up to here with you, you've slept with more people this month than I ever have!" I shouted and the whole cafeteria looked our way "fuck you Ashley" I said and everyone made an 'ohhh' sound and we both stood up "you're such a slut, just leave me alone"
"You know what? I know you've been fucking around with that junkie in the senior year. Yeah, people know about that but they're too scared to talk about it in case you publicly embarrass them about something else. Well maybe it's time for you to be embarrassed too"
"Don't you dare" I muttered and then shouted out the first piece of dirt I had on her that came to mind "she sucked off Mr Finch!"
The whole cafeteria erupted in laughter and she ran out of there crying, and I sat back down with my friends. "And that's how you make a scene" Bella said and they all laughed about it for a while and then got over it, but I was far from over it. I'd just been partially exposed, and it really hit me how risky this relationship was.
All the way through the afternoon I kept thinking about it, but I had to do something. Maybe I should ask Kendall if we could take a break for a while until the rumours died down. She'd understand, we could just be friends. I found her at the end of the day just as she was walking out of school and pulled her into the locker room. "Hey baby, you wanna hook up this soon after your wild night of drunk yelling?" She laughed
"No, I just think we should talk" I said
"Shit, what did I do?" She asked
"Listen. I know that we really like each other and stuff, but we have a lot of sex and we never really talk much about things and I've always been nervous about people finding out I'm into girls and more people knew about it than I thought" I said
"Ok, I know what this is about, that girl just wanted to get to you. No one knows, I've only told two people outside of my group and that's Ky and Gigi" and said
"Gigi? You told fucking Gigi?" I asked, holding back tears
"Baby, don't get upset, I'm sorry" she said
"No, it's ok" I sniffed "we should take a break"
"What? No" she said "please say you're kidding"
"You know I have issues with people knowing about me" I said
"So you're embarrassed of me?" She asked
"No, I'm embarrassed of me" I said "it's hard being in my clique, you can't be gay unless you're a boy and you're fabulous and flamboyant. I'd be disowned"
"Then find some real friends who won't judge you for who you are, I thought you were more independent than the other girls" she said
"I'm not" I whimpered "I can't be with you right now, I'm losing sleep already and I'm breaking out, I'm so stressed and it's not because of you, but people have suspicions and us being a thing isn't going to work unless it's secret. I'm sorry"
"You know what? Fine" she said "go be like everyone else, follow the crowd and be straight, suck a dick for all I care. But don't forget, I really care for you and I'd do anything for you"
"I don't want to suck a dick or be straight, I just want people to think I'm like that" I said "so can we be on a break just until the rumours go away?"
"Everyone's talking about that little hoe sucking Finch's dick, no one's talking about us" she said
"Please. I need it" I said "I promise that as soon as I'm ready I'll tell you"
"How long do I have to wait for you?" She asked sadly
"I don't know, not long" I said "I'm not gonna just forget about you, I just need a break"
"Fine" she said "I have to go home, my mom needs me to... clean the kitchen" she walked away with her head hanging low. Just before she opened the door the said "I was always so careful not to hurt you, to not be the person you think I am. I just never thought you'd be the one to hurt me"
"I'm not trying to hurt you" I said
"Yeah but you did. See you round Sofia" she said shortly and walked out into the halls. I'd fucked up. I'd hurt her to save myself from embarrassment and the wrong kind of attention, and she was really upset. I thought she would have understood that some people just couldn't not care what other people think, they couldn't be ok with other people making fun of them. But I realised that I was selfish and I'd lost someone who'd been so good to me, so supportive.
I hated myself for it.