TIANA'S PERSPECTIVE
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"So what else happend?"
Andrew played with the ends of my hair as he explained and told me in every little detail of his Military journey. We didn't even think to get off the floor nor to move a mussle after we fought, we were lost in deep conversation were I listened with out a word as ran my fingers through his hair touching his scar every once in a while.
"I was the only one that could do the job, mentally and physically." He said proudly, My smile spread proud of him but still pained to picture him hurt and in need of help.
"I had to go out into the night, hide out in the forests, watch men die, kill men, I would be woken up by the sound of gun fire and explorations." Andrew explains.
Heartbreaking as it was, it was just fascinating to listen, it was also fascinating to see and hear how he explains it, his hands would move around in the air and by each breathtaking moment his voice would change as if it were a movie or a cliffhanger in a grate book.
I still frowned with fear and let out a little breath. "I could only imagine what it could have been like."
Andrew nodded as he put his feet up on the wall moving his head away from my lap, I followed his action and watched him still entertained.
"Do you have nightmares?"
Andrew clasped his hands together on his chest with a deep sigh. "Sometimes." Once agian my heart saddened and I tsk. "-Every once in a while I'll wake but it's very rear.."
"You shouldn't go back." I said touching his hand. He stared at me for a moment then shrugged as if it was nothing.
"I don't think have a choice."
I rolled my eyes annoyed by his words, I was irritated because he was putting himself in a position where he could die agian. True he was strong, mentally and physically but then agian Andrew never saw or thought about the consequences of some of his choices; that was always his biggest problem.
"But you do Andrew. You have a choice with anything that you do with your life; people can't make you do anything, unless you choose to listen."
He took a hold of my hand running his thumb on my knuckles. "I know."
"It's up to you to make a good choice for yourself." I smiled hoping that he would pick up my point. It's not nor will it ever be my place to tell him what he can and can't do with his life, I was only a guid of support and great open options.
Andrew shuffled closer leaving us two feet apart, he flickers to my lips, I couldn't help but do the same but ever so quickly his emotion had changed.
"Is that why you chose to leave? Because you knew you were pregnant or because you were scard I wasn't going to be there for you?"
His sudden question took me by surprise and I parted my lips not knowing what to say; I couldn't resort by telling him off by going to the military or the jobs he had because I didn't know. He too didn't know half of the truth why I decided to leave in the first place, and just assuming that I would leave because I was scared he wasn't going to be there is just utterly ridiculous.
There was no way I wanted to stay in my home town knowing that I'm putting Andrew and my baby in danger. I didn't need anymore protection and certainly no one to fight my own battles.
So I played silent averaging my gaze around his apartment with nothing smart to say. Andrew had looked away from me with hands on his chest, he took a deep sigh when he said.
"It's okay. I think I know why."
It almost sounded like a challenge.
"Why." I began irritated, Andrew squinted his eyes at me as if I knew what he was going to say. He parted his lips to say something but I only cut him off.
"-Me leaving you wasn't because I was scared. I knew from the begging you were going be an amazing farther -"
"Then Why?"
"- Because I thought I wouldn't love the same."
Andrew studied me for a moment, and judging by the look on his face he cringed at my words. He said nothing and looked away. I rolled my eyes at my self, that was that and I couldn't take it back.
"But seeing you now made me realise that you don't know what you had until you lost it."
Andrew rolled his eyes as he was lost in deep thought he chuckled with doubt as if he didn't believe me. "Doesn't make scene."
I nodded stupidity.
I sighed looking away I don't blame him at all. I thought if I let the man believe what he wants it wouldn't cause anymore tension so I sat up silent with emotional embarrassment; my big mouth never knew how or what to say. That was my own biggest problem.
"I should go." I say not looking down at him, because I could already feel his hot stare from the corner of my eye, he watched me for a moment as if he was debating weather or not he should stop me. I stood to my feet he only wrapped his arms around me pulling me back down.
My gasp came out more surprised than anything. He held me on his chest tight enough to keep me steady, but gently enough to want to make me stay.
Andrew sighed and played with my hair. "Regardless of the truth, I just got you back." he murmured, kissing my hair.
And just like that I was paralysed to stay.
We were silent for a bit of time in complete comfort, we let out our anger, we cried and we allowed each other to communicate. This is what we needed after a bit of time apart, regardless of the love we once shared and the infactuation we have now.
Andrew creased my neck, where I smiled at him. He picked up the chain that hung around my neck in between his fingers, only now do I realise I was still wearing the necklace he gave me for our anniversary. He smiled looking at me but said nothing so I moved away from his grip slipping right back next to him onto the ground with a giddy smile.
"Can I see your uniform?" I asked nothing smart to say, smiling at him pleadingly.
He chuckled nodding, standing to his feet. I giggled excitedly as he helped me up to my feet leading me to his bedroom.
"So this place?"
I trailed as I looked around his room, still haven't forgotten about my curiosity to how he ended up living in such luxury; I assumed it's given to him by the government to live in while he is in town, but then agian I might be wrong.
He slid open his wardrobe door as I sat on the giant messy bed fiddling with the soft blanket in my fingers. He looked over his shoulder raising an eyebrow as if he knew what I was going say.
"What about it?"
"How did you get it?"
I noticed that he became tense and freeze in place; maybe I shouldn't have asked. I tiled my head still curious of what he might say. But he scoffed a small chuckle, "I- uh, won the lottery." Andrew smiled pulling out the military uniform.
My eyes dilated at the sight of it forgetting about his answer all together. There were bullet holes that had ripped the fabric and blood stains that didn't wash off. I had no idea why I was so amazed by it.
"You were shot too?!" I had to feel it. He nodded humming, "-and stabbed".
My eyes went wide, eyeing his body, "Show me." I ordered , he pulled a small smirk lifting his shirt over his head.
Cheeky
I laughed nervously but at the same time my heart ached, seeing his battle scars spread out on his back shoulders. I only swallow back the sadness biting the inside of my cheek.
Helplessly I come close and run my fingers gently on the stab wound on his chest. "Your crazy." I said almost completely out of breath. Andrew tenced as instant goosebumps formed on his skin. He looked down at me never removing his gaze as he smiled gently. "Maybe"
I shook my head sitting back down on the bed with a bit of a laugh, "how about the guns and weapons?"
He studied me for a moment then dropped the uniform on the ground, "These?"
Andrew flexed.
I laughed. Andrew also laughed doing one of those bodybuilder poses showing off even more and agian I laugh.
"Or how about these?" Just as he said he pulled out two glock pistols from behind his back; my eyes widen in surprise.
"Did you just pull those out of your ass?"
Andrew burst out into laugher sending me to an absolute fit, I fell behind on the bed holding my stomach.
"OhmyGod" Andrew fell down next to me trying to grasp his composure. I hit his shoulder, "Those were impressive"
He laughed. "The first two or the second?"
I smirked, "First." He laughed putting a hand to his heart. "Why thank you!"
I laughed agian. We were ourselves. We were happy.
Maybe we needed to fall apart just to realise how happy we were.
Once agian we fell in comfortable silence and I sighed looking over at him catching his stare quickly Andrew looked away.
I giggled shaking my head. I love and hate the way he made me feel with the most stupid clishe things in the world.
He hesitated to say something but only brought myself to get it out of him by looking at him in question. "What?"
Andrew shook his head, "nothing, don't worry about it."
I rolled my eyes, turning my body to face him. "Tell me."
He sighed tsking. "Do you reckon if we were still to be together that our baby would have been alive?"
Oh.
I fell back on my back, trying to find the right words. "Well-"
I froze when he began to draw small circles on my skin, I couldn't help but sigh at the feeling.
"-We would never know what the future holds Andrew." I said honestly, "-but our lives would have been completely different that's for sure."
Andrew chuckled sadly drifting his hand away. "We would have been grate parents." he said happily looking up at the ceiling.
We were both thinking the same; both thinking about the life we could have had how much stronger our bond would have been if we started working together and embraced our love for something more than ourselves.
"Did you ever think of a name?" Andrew asked suddenly, I smiled at the question because I have been thinking about it ever since we were together.
"I always liked the name Marko and if he were a she, it would have been Aleyna."
Andrew smiled happily nodding his head. "I love it." he said. I smiled happily nodding looking up at the ceiling once agian, falling silent.
Not long ago I came to acceptance that I have lost him and by that I'm still hurting inside. I feel as if I have failed, failed of becoming a mother, failed at becoming a possible wife and worst of all not being able to give my own parents their first grandchild. Then agian I couldn't bring myself to think to raise my child where his own mother and farther have been separated with their own life, and in danger by a crazy psycho ex who is still a possible threat. Never in my right mind this was going to be my life.
I touch my belly running my fingers gently on it as if I still had that little baby bump, wondering how much bigger it would have been if he was to still be here. I smiled faintly but then felt my my eyes begin to tear, taking a breath I closed my eyes thankful after many months I found and learned new ways to distraction.
I wish things could have been different.
Feeling a tear fall down my cheek I remembered Andrew's words. "Maybe things would have happened differently if I stayed."
Andrew places his hand on top of mine; instantly goosebumps tailed my skin and butterflies flutter. I looked over at him he creased my tears away with absolute sorrow, he shuffled even closer where I can feel his warm breath bounce off my skin.
Had I really said this out loud.
His eyes flickered to my lips ever so quickly.
"Tiana non of this can be your fault; you can't blame yourself for something you would never know about the future."
He took a breath, drifting his fingers through my hair until his hand rested at the back of my neck.
Ever so slowly and ever so calmly did he pull me closer until our lips brushed together as he said. "There's always a second chance"
Without another word he kissed me.
A small gasp of surprise left my lips.
I was meant to push him away to stop him from doing anything more; but as I kissed him back I had realised this is what I needed most.
I was Safe, protected, loved and respected.
His hand trailed from my neck gently down my body stopping to my waist line sending me shivers down my spine. I moaned softly at the feeling where I find myself wrapping my hands around his neck pulling him closer deepening the kiss.
Finding his way on top of me, wanting control it only turned me on even more. The way he touched me, the way he made me feel was so unreal that I was already breathless.
I gasped in surprise when he suddenly lifted me off the bed and strandled me around him while he rested himself against the pillows; without hesitation he pulled me in agian.
Quicker than ever my hands gripped on his shoulders and I pulled myself closer feeling his spring up in desire through the thin pair of pants he was wearing.
God, I loved that sound. I wanted to feel him, wanted to remember how big and how much I can get him off.
Andrew's hand skimmed up my legs until he knew that he had settled the heat between my legs. I hummed aggressively by his cockiness, throwing my head back while he began kissing down my neck.
I didn't stop him, I didn't want to stop him.
Even though he is purposely teasing me I couldn't help but love the feeling, couldn't help but smile with pleasure while he did.
He hummed seductively, "you like that baby?"
My heart beat fast and hard and I let out a hot breath. "Yes."
He hummed in such satisfaction when had realised I coming to my high, he peered at me through those hooded brown eyes with absolute triumph and smirked when he began to move his fingers faster through my underwear.
God he was so competitive. I shouldn't let it go so far, I couldn't want this so badly, but I couldn't bring myself to stop and I most definitely couldn't let him win.
Especially at his own game.
So grabbing a fist full of Andrew's hair I tugged his head down making him groan and I started grinding on him faster with his pace. Within a instant his hands gripped around my hips holding me tight in place making me moan. We were both lost in lust, both lost in desperate need of desire.
"Don't you dare fucking stop." He growled.
I smirked proudly and kept it slow as my hands gently trailed through and down his hair. Coming close to his ear I left him some small teasing kisses on his jaw.
I hummed mocking his confidence. My fingers then drifted teasingly down his chest and down his core, stopping at the waist line of his track pants.
Andrew shrivelled at my touch and his eyes rolled back when I grabbed onto his memeber through his pants. I felt him vibrate as I attacked his neck with opened mouth kisses.
My turn.
"You like that baby?" I mocked ever so seductively.
He let out a challenging laugh; and by that I new that I'm definitely going to loose.
"I love it when your so fucking competitive."
He grabbed a fistful of my hair at the back of my neck and pulled me into a rough, passionate kiss and flipped me right over so that I had fallen flat on my back.
I moaned ever so pleasurably and to whatever ounce of control Andrew had left seemed to snap the second I let out another sound.
He himself arched my back. "Fuck" I breathed, and kept repeating until I felt myself clench.
But before all the love and desire was let out loud another one came from the other side of the room.
The sound of realisation. A giant ring of a phone burst the room.
I froze in place, beyond breathless, flushed and beyond realisation. Andrew too was breathing heavily and was startled by my sudden outbursts but then I realised how hard he was trying to hold back I grin. I flushed even more.
"Oh my God" I slipped away from his arms and off the bed, as Andrew tried to hold me back with a laugh. "Tia."
I panicked my mouth fell open and I shook my head rapidly, killing myself with embarrassment. "Oh my god"
Picking up my phone I looked down at the caller ID seeing that it was mother. My eyes had went wide seeing the amount of missed calls and text all from my family and most importantly Nickola Anderson.
Oh My God.
"Tiana baby"
I put up my hand shushing Andrew in place, almost narrowing my eyes through his head "Not. A . Fucking. Sound"
He froze biting onto his lip, either holding back a laugh or a word of deafens. Warningly I put up my finger and answer the phone with my other hand.
"Hello"
"Tiana Cross, where the hell are you do you know what time - Day. It is !"
"Mama-."
I tried to open my mouth but with every defending word I tried to say I was only cut off with a outrageous scream. I watched Andrew watch me struggle, he laughed into the pillow muffling his snickers and I felt myself tear up. Andrew looked at me with a sarcastic sorrow and slipped out of the bed storming towards me gesturing to give me the phone.
I put out my hand stopping him from doing anything more and stepping back ever so quickly but he only flicked my hand away snatching the phone out of my hands.
"No No No!" I fought jumping up on his arm trying to snatch it back "Andrew" I begged. But he pinned me up against the wall trapping me with his body as he looked down at me.
"Hello Mrs Cross. It's Andrew" he said ever so calmly. I clenched my jaw in pure anger biting my tongue from saying anything.
"Yes, she's been with me the entire time we bumped into each other this morning and decided to grab some coffee."
Andrew chuckled never removing his playful little gaze, I could only let out a breath of relief with the lie he had said.
"I'll be sure to do so but I can't promise anything Mrs Cross."
I could hear my mother laugh, but I for one wasn't. Shame on him.
Shame on you.
"Okay Mrs Cross see you for dinner" he winked at me and I smeared a nasty glare.
"Bye bye now." Andrew hung up the phone and pressed his hands above my head shaking his head as he dropped his head to my level.
"The things I do for you babygirl. It's unreal" I rolled my eyes, wanting to hit him. "Asshole."
He smirked pressing his lips onto mine. "You love me" and just like that he pushed away from me handing me my phone, leaving me completely paralysed.
"We are having spaghetti for dinner." He smiled happily.
"But you really better be going, I heard your boyfriend mutter something to your mum"
I was lost for words. Lost completely with everything. Andrew handed me my shoes along with my jacket and keys and with a final smile Andrew Harvey kicked me out the door.
"See you tonight Princess"