Nimueh awoke early that morning. The sun was just beginning to rise and the breeze coming through the open window was still a little cool.
Placing a soft kiss on Peter's forehead, she gently slid out of his grip and stood up. He stirred, groaning gently, but did not wake. She picked up the robe that she had so careless slung over the back of a chair and wrapped it around herself. With any luck, she would be able to make it back to her own chambers without being seen. Nimueh wasn't quite sure what people might think if rumour had it that she had left High King Peter's bed chambers in the early hours of the morning.
As her own room was at the other end of the corridor, on the side of the stairs coming up a couple of floors from the servant's quarters, there were a few young men and women bustling around outside the door.
"My Lady Firesong," a man bowed low. "We've brought your clothes for today and some hot water to bathe in. Would you like any assistance?"
"No. I prefer to prepare myself, but thank you."
"Is there anything we can do for you?" asked a serving girl.
"No, thank you. You may go."
The servants hurried back down the stone staircase and out of sight. It had taken Nimueh a few years to get used to people doing things for her during the Pevensies' reign, and even then she had never been entirely comfortable with it.
After washing in the basin of steaming water, Nimueh let her nightwear fall around her feet and stepped behind an intricately carved, wooden screen. A dusty, powder pink gown had been laid on the made bed. The sleeves were a fine chiffon-like fabric, slightly billowing, drawn together with a buttoned cuff at the wrist. It was embellished with dozens and dozens of applique flowers that covered the bodice and trailed and scattered over the many layers of skirt. The back had button and loop fastening all the way down her spine, but Nimueh had done up enough of Aliona's dresses that it had become second nature to her.
Once she had finished dressing, she moved over to the dressing table and began brushing out her curls. Nimueh pinned her hair up carefully into an elaborate plait, something else she had mastered in the service of Aliona, letting a few strands stay loose at the sides of her face.
She found a pair of pink pumps tucked under the bed, slipped them onto her feet and left the room. The silence of the castle was now gone, the air laced with servant chatter and the cheerful singing of birds through open windows.
Nimueh stepped through one of the doors just above the courtyard, a door she seemed to recall setting fire to at some point. There were a few guards around but no one else. She lifted her skirts and walked down the stone steps into the courtyard.
She hadn't realized just how long she had spent getting ready until she strode out of the shade into the blazing sun. Nimueh smiled up into the light, her eyes closed, not caring how ridiculous she might look to anyone watching.
Just like the night before, she didn't really know where she was going. The castle was new and unfamiliar, and the building work was so unlike anything she had seen before in Narnia. As she turned out under an archway, she spotted the newly crowned King and Aslan talking at the entrance to the castle grounds. They hadn't been in her sight long before Caspian nodded, bowed slightly and left. After he disappeared, Aslan turned His face towards Nimueh and smiled.
"My Lady, will you take a walk with me?"
"Of course."
Neither of them spoke until they had walked a good distance from the castle. Then, Aslan asked her something she did not expect.
"Lady Firesong, do you know how your race came to be?"
Nimueh shook her head. "No, Aslan. They didn't educate us on such things."
"I do not think it will surprise you to know that your people came from the same world as the Pevensies. The Island was inhabited by a similar race to humans, and then a large group of people from a country called Russia found one of the passageways between that world and the world of the Island. They were on ships out on a place called the Black Sea, bound to a country that is now called Romania, but their boats were ill-made and eventually sank. Instead of drowning, they found a way to an Island."
"The same way that I've been getting to Narnia?"
"Yes, child. The Island's climate is slightly different to that of this realm and the human world, and over time your race was formed. So you see, you are a descendent of humankind."
Nimueh couldn't speak for a moment. To think that she wasn't so different from the Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve, the good and the bad, who had ruled Narnia since its conception. She felt closer to the Pevensies than she ever had done before. "I wonder why they never told us. I don't think even the Elites know about that. At least, they don't talk about it."
"Perhaps they have forgotten their roots," said Aslan. "Perhaps they prefer to live in the present."
"Yes," Nimueh smiled, sadly. "I think I'm a bit of an odd-one-out when it comes from dwelling on the past."
They walked in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, past rose bushes and climbers, Nimueh occasionally reaching out to touch the petals absently.
"What you felt before the battle-"
"It wasn't like anything I had ever felt before." Nimueh's head snapped towards the face of the Lion. She would never have dreamed of cutting Aslan off, but having wanted to talk about that feeling since she had had time to think, she couldn't have held it in any longer than it had taken for Aslan to mention it. Nimueh looked to Him nervously, but He gestured for her to keep going. "It was like I'd never known what it felt like to truly want something, to truly believe in something up until that moment. I felt awful, Aslan, because I thought I had believed long before then."
"It wasn't just that, my child. Am I right in saying that you will never again question the existence of this place and what it means?"
"Yes, Aslan. I promise I will never turn my back on this place again. I'll fight every second of every day if that's what it takes to keep my doubts at bay."
"Very good, dear one. For if you were still wondering why you were summoned here along with the Kings and Queens, you now understand the reason."
Nimueh knew she should have felt pleased that she had fulfilled what she was meant to, but something told her that there would only be bad news from now on. After all, if something has fulfilled its purpose, what use is it anymore?
"Does this mean...?"
"I'm afraid it does, child. From your time in this country, you have learnt everything you will need to live a full life. It is time for you to use it in your own world."
Nimueh's heart dropped as she realised the extent of what Aslan was saying to her. Her throat felt as though it was getting smaller and smaller by the second. "I'm never coming back here." Her voice was weak, breakable.
"Everything has its end, dear one."
"I suppose, I should have known that from the beginning. I thought I did. But it's different this time." Nimueh knew that Aslan knew what she was talking about and so didn't feel the need to elaborate.
For a moment, Nimueh felt a wave of desperation hit her chest. Perhaps if she asked Aslan, He would let her stay, at least for a little bit longer. She wasn't ready to leave Narnia; she never had been but now that she knew it would be forever...
"Lady Firesong, are you alright?"
Nimueh hadn't realized that she had stopped walking. Aslan had stopped too, turning His great head, a few paces in front of her. Her body felt as though it was turning to stone, her feet rooted to the ground, her knees not even able to buckle under the weight of this news. Tears had begun to run their course down her cheeks, and even as she raised her hands to wipe them away, they didn't stop.
"No," she whispered. "No, I'm not."
♚
All of the Narnians and Telmarines were gathered at the back of the castle, the crowd stretching into the courtyard and down towards the gardens. On a dais above the gathering, stood Aslan, King Caspian, the four Pevensies, Nimueh, and a few other Narnians.
Nimueh hadn't been able to find it in herself to go to breakfast. No one had questioned her on it, which made her think that not everyone else had made it to breakfast either.
The new King was addressing the crowd and, at some point, Aslan stepped forwards to say something, but Nimueh hardly heard a word of it. She was staring out at the castle, at the sky above it, and anything else she could drink in without looking as distracted as she felt.
"...it is to that island I can return you," Aslan was saying. "It is a good place for any who wish to make a new start."
"I will go," said a Telmarine man, one of Miraz' generals. "I will accept the offer."
The crowd part to let him walk forward. Miraz' wife, holding her baby, and a man who Nimueh assumed to be her father joined him. They stopped in front of Aslan.
"Because you have spoken first, your future in that world will be good." And though the three Telmarines looked positively terrified, they held themselves well as Aslan breathed over them.
Nimueh only truly returned to herself when the tree at the back of the dais began to move. The trunk creaked and groaned, twisting upwards until two thick roots formed into legs of sorts, and an archway stood between.
Caspian bowed respectfully as the volunteers stepped up onto the dais and made their way through the doorway in the tree. A gasp, then a murmur rippled over the congregation as the three disappeared in the blink of an eye.
"How do we know he is not leading us to our deaths?" came a cry from the Telmarines.
"Sire, if my example can be of any service, I will lead eleven mice through there without delay," said Reepicheep.
"You are noble indeed," Aslan shook His head, "but they would do terrible things to you in that world.
"We'll go."
Two words.
Two words were all it took to break her heart.
The shake of a violent cry rattled her lungs but Nimueh did not let it move her. She would be damned to the depths of the Eastern Sea before she let herself slip in front of this many people.
"After all," said Peter, as he approached Caspian, "we're not really needed here anymore."
"I will look after it until you return."
A heart-sized lump rose into Nimueh's throat as Rhindon passed from Peter's hand into Caspian's.
"I'm afraid that's just it. We're not coming back." Susan's words couldn't hurt her any more than she was already hurting. But Nimueh's senses fell in and out of focus for another few moments as the news sank lower and lower into the pit of her stomach.
The four Pevensies came along the line of Narnians, bidding their goodbyes to each of them. Lucy reached Nimueh first.
"We'll see each other again," she said so firmly that Nimueh did not have the heart to grant her any doubt.
"I'm sure we will," she replied, embracing the girl tightly.
Next came Edmund. Neither of them spoke a word; they didn't need to. They hugged each other, and Nimueh got the feeling that Edmund understood that, even though he was to return to Narnia one day, he wouldn't be fighting alongside her again. Nimueh kissed both of his cheeks and Edmund didn't react with the comedic repulsion that she had half expected; he seemed to remember the traditions of her People and respectfully nodded his head.
Susan didn't give her a chance to speak as she threw her arms around her. "I'm going to miss you so much, Nimueh. Everything about you."
"I'll miss you too, Susan. I hope you find everything you are looking for back in your world." She gently touched the side of Susan's face. "Whatever you do, you'll always be amazing. I know that."
"You too. I just can't believe this is over."
Nimueh nodded. "I know."
Susan moved to say goodbye to Caspian. "I'm glad I came back," she said.
"I wish we had had more time together." The earnest nature of Caspian's words embodied everything that Nimueh wanted to say.
"It would never have worked anyway. I am thirteen hundred years older than you."
Nimueh found it in herself to laugh, but abruptly stopped when she saw that Peter was standing, waiting for her.
Gathering herself and the words she had been meaning to say for more years than she cared to count, Nimueh stepped forwards, and in front of the new King, her comrades, and hundreds of Telmarines, she took Peter's hands in hers. Peter clutched them tightly, waiting for her to speak. When she found the strength within her, she lifted her head to gaze into his shining, blue eyes, now for the last time.
"I love you." She said it so softly that only he could hear. "I love you with a greater love than I ever thought I was capable of. And the thought of never seeing you again hurts me so much that I can hardly bear to think of what I'll do without you. I will never forget you, Peter Pevensie, and I will love you, not until I die, but until the end of time, until the stars rain down from the heavens and all worlds should fall into darkness. And I hope that, if you do find happiness in your world, whoever it is with, I hope that they will love you at least half as much as I do. And whatever I may face in the future, I promise, I will hold you in my heart. I am glad to have had the honour of meeting you, my King."
She had never seen Peter look so lost in all the years she had known him. He opened and closed his mouth, but found no words to say. Instead, he leaned his head down, as if he was going to kiss her, but she turned her slightly face away.
"Don't," she whispered and he simply rested his forehead against hers. As she pulled away, Nimueh attempted to slide the ring off her finger, but Peter's hand stopped her. "It wouldn't be fair to you," she said, looking up into his eyes. "You should have a chance to be with someone else, not be tied to me."
"What about you?"
"I will never love anyone else; of that I am certain."
"How can you be sure? Do you not want-"
"I don't want another chance. But I can't take that away from you."
"Then please, let's stay like this."
She nodded, pained by such a choice, but not having the will to choose the alternative.
"Is there any way we can make this better? Maybe you can come with us, like we talked about?"
Nimueh almost smiled. "No," she said. "For I must go home too."
Peter hesitated a moment then brought her into his arms. He rested a hand on the back of her head and she clutched him tightly.
"I love you."
"I love you."
And then came the time for them to let go. Both of them uncurled and stepped back, keeping their hands interlocked for as long as possible. And, for the last time, they looked away from each other, dropping their gazes to the floor.
Nimueh closed her eyes before the Pevensies disappeared through the archway, only opening them once a hush had once more fallen over the company. She glanced over to Aslan, who bowed His head in a deep nod. Nodding in return, she stepped forwards.
"I, too, must take my leave."
"So soon? Will you not stay longer?" Caspian said.
"Narnia has a new King, one that I can trust with the charge of the country that I hold very dearly. It no longer needs me. And although I am convinced otherwise, it seems that I am no longer in need of Narnia." The lump in her throat slowly began to rise again. Nimueh brought forward her weapons and handed them to one of the Centaurs. "These are to be given to Lucy upon her return, if she so wishes, and then passed to any warrior you deem worthy of them. Do not let them go unused."
"I will make sure of it," Caspian said.
"It has been a pleasure to make your acquaintance, King Caspian, and with Narnians once again." She turned to the large Mouse. "Reepicheep, take good care of him, won't you?"
"I shall make it my duty. And I hope that we shall one day meet again, my Lady. " He took off his feathered cap and bowed deeply to her.
The other creatures did so in unison. They seemed to understand that, after her tender farewell with Peter, she would like nothing more than a solemn send-off with all the honour and dignity that she deserved. Even so, she gave firm hand clasps to Caspian, Doctor Cornelius, and Glenstorm the Centaur, wishing them the best in the new era.
Finally, Nimueh turned back to Aslan. "The greatest honour, my Lord, is having met you. Thank you for all you have given me. I will use it well."
Aslan approached her. She went down onto her knees before Him. "Go on, and do not be afraid. I will always be with you, in yours and every world." She breathed out heavily. "Rise, Nimueh, of the family Firesong, Knight of the Most Noble Order of the Lion, Lady of Fire and Water, Queen of Narnia."
Nimueh dared not look back as she advanced on the doorway. Taking a deep breath and staring ahead, she stepped between the trunks of the tree, and soon the world around her vanished.