What the fuck is going on?
That was the first reaction I had when I woke up on an odd, green, smelly couch that was covered with confetti and plastic cups. My black shirt simply covered in stains as my black shoes were covered in pieces of Doritos. I for one didn't know what the fuck was going on, nor did I remember anything that happened here. The apartment seemed familiar, but other than that, it was an absolute blank picture for me. People were lying on the floor, passed out I suppose, with a plastic cup on almost everybody's hand. Some people had beer bottles or condoms, but other than that, most of them were plastic cups. Picking up my purse from under the coffee table, I slowly stood up from the couch, trying to keep my balance. Then an oozing feeling struck my body, as if I was about to hurl on this very spot of the apartment. I must've been really drunk last night. I quickly ran over towards the bathroom, walking over passed out people lying on the floor, one man wrapped in a blanket with a sharpie moustache and a dick on his face. I bet when he wakes up he'll want to kill the person who did that to his face. Once I reached near the bathroom, I heard somebody taking a shower.
A shower.
Who the fuck takes a shower at a person's apartment while people are literally sober and passed out on the floor. That's just fucking stupid and completely idiotic.
"Hey, um, can I come in for a minute, I'm just gonna use the bathroom really quickly." I asked tiredly as I knocked on the door, standing beside it.
"Sure, no problem." I heard a guy's voice say, slowly opening the door to check if he wasn't just tricking me and standing in the shower seductively, showing his wet naked body. It's happened before, not gonna lie.
"Hello?" I questioned softly, peeking into the bathroom slowly. Finding to see the bathroom curtain closed correctly and no sudden peeks through the curtain. Good.
"Thanks," I sighed in relief as I bent down onto my knees and lifted up the toilet top, hanging my head low near the seat. Taking in deep breaths, hoping I'd feel better. I'm actually quite surprised to reach the toilet considering my short height.
"You okay?" Grand, I don't know where I am nor what I was doing here, I have a massive headache beginning to form in my head, and my stomach feels like complete shit. I feel grand.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I spoke until I got the urge to throw up everything I had consumed in me last night. How many beers did I drink last night? Did I eat something weird last night? Whatever it was I ate or how many drinks of beer I took, it obviously didn't agree with me.
"Need aspirin?" The guy in the shower asked as a I nodded my head, continuing to throw up all the alcohol consumed in me.
"Open the glass cabinet above you, and there's a bottle of aspirin somewhere around the second row." he said as I grabbed toilet paper and wiped my mouth, flushing the horrid smell coming from the toilet, slowly getting up from the ground. I did as I was told and found the aspirin exactly where he said, getting about 3 pills just to last the day.
"Thanks," I said, washing my hands and face in the sink, fixing my hair and ruined make up on my face.
"Oh great," I sighed, finding a piece of fucking gum in my damaged, messy bleached blonde hair. How the fuck did I get gum on my hair in the first place? It's official, I am having the worst hangover of my life. What's next, I find out that I'm fucking pregnant with one of the drunk guys on the floor. That would be just the peak of my day. It could be worse.
"Hey, guy in the shower, yeah, um do you have any scissors? I've got this stupid gum on my hair." I asked the kind naked person as I heard him turn off the shower, hoping he'd have scissors because I wouldn't want to be going outside with this lump of gum on my hair.
"Kind female stranger, could you possibly do me the favor and help me get a towel?" If you hand me the scissors first?
"Sure," I said, grabbing the towel that was hanging on the hook near the door.
"Thank you," he said, his large hands reaching out and grabbing the towel, hearing water drops in the shower.
"So, as I was saying, do you possibly have like scissors or something?" I asked him again, as I separated the hair that was gum free from the part of the hair that had a lump of gum on it.
"Yeah, let me get it for you." he said as he slid the curtain from one side of the shower, revealing the kind naked man I was talking to these past few minutes. He was tall, like really tall, he was lean and quite muscular, tattoos spread around his arm and chest. His wet brown hair dripping with water. He was quite good looking to be honest, not somebody I'd date but he was an "okay" person.
"The scissors are somewhere around here," he said as he bent down, holding on tightly to the towel around his waist. At least he has manners, unlike other men who just casually come out of the shower butt naked just to impress you with their dicks. Some of them were just, gross.
"Here, I think these will work." he stood up, finally handing me the scissors that would save my life, for a while. Cutting the large lump that was forming in my hair.
"There, my hair is officially gum free." I said proudly as I looked at the long piece of hair I cut off. My hair doesn't look that different, well the hair I cut off looks uneven, but I think I could just hide that piece.
"You really need to pay more attention with what people are doing with you're hair." The guy laughed as I gave him deadly stare. Why is he even getting involved with this problem I'm in? This is my hair, not his, and if this piece of shitty gum was in his hair, I sure wouldn't stick my snooty arse into his situation.
"And you really need to put on some clothes because I for one am not falling for a naked guy in the bathroom." I said happily, patting his chest as I escorted myself out of the bathroom. Seeing the same drunk people on the floor, still passed out. I wonder if they'll remember anything about last night, because I sure hell don't. Once I walked my way out of the apartment, I took out my phone to see if any notifications whatsoever showed up.
@BringBeaTea: Last night was the best!!!! Got ourselves drunk as hell!!!! #Yolo #DrunkAsF @DennyEatsBrussels @DaIrishHoran @JanePerks
Oh great, that fucking Bea had to tweet a picture of me drunk, with that messed up hair. I thought we were friends? Why couldn't she have taken a picture of Jane taking shots, I mean that would've been a lot more entertaining.
@DaIrishHoran: @TeddySheeran Awesome party!! Congrats on the record deal too!! That party was da craic!! :D
It was Ed's party! Oh my god how could I not remember that? Ed invited us to celebrate the big news. How could I not remember that? Oh my god I'm so fucked up right now.
@JanePerks: Grrrrrrlllls :P
Jane must've been drunk as hell when she tweeted that picture of me and two random girls in the bathroom. I must've been as sober as her while she was taking that picture. What really did happened at that party? Scrolling down at all the tweets I was mentioned on, I finally noticed a tweet I sent of me holding onto a bottle of beer in black and white. What the fuck was I thinking?
@DennyEatsBrussels: Getting wasted with this little fucker ;D
My life is ruined, my dignity had just been flushed down the toilet along with my vomit. I must've ruined that stranger's dignity as well. Besides, who was that person in the picture. I obviously must've made friends while I was sober. While I continued to scroll down the tweets, I felt my phone begin to buzz.
Niall.
"Hello?" I answered tiredly, as I walked out the building, strolling through the streets.
"Denny, what the fuck happened last night?" he asked me seeming quite surprised. Oh the irony.
"My question exactly," I laughed, waiting to cross the street.
"Why do I have breasts drawn on my face?" Breasts?
"Breasts?" I questioned curiously, leaning against the metal pole.
"Yes, breasts. Boobies, boobs, your female parts, whatever you want to call it, why are they drawn on my face?" he asked demandingly as I laughed, feeling sorry for Niall, but proud for that person who drew those breasts on his face.
"Don't ask me, I barely even knew where I was when I woke up." I said as I crossed the street, walking over to the closest convenient store there was near the block.
"Well whoever this fucker was, he's in deep shit." he said angrily as I laughed. So he's going to somewhat get the person's DNA and track the person down or something? Brilliant.
"Just wash your face, it's not like it's the end of the world."
"I know that, I've already been trying to wash this off my face for the past 15 minutes." he said angrily as I continued to laugh, walking into a little shop near an ATM.
"Shut up Denny,"
"I am, I am," I sighed, looking around the shop for something to eat.
"Where are you anyway? Did you leave the party that early," oh yes, 7 in the morning is early, I forgot.
"No, I just left the apartment about 5 minutes ago, I'm at a little shop." I said, grabbing a bag of Maoam Pinballs from one of the shelves. Seems like a legit breakfast.
"Okay, I'll meet you there, just gotta find my shoes." He said, making me laugh like a mad man. He did not loose his shoes, please tell me he didn't loose them. He can't possibly loose his shoes at a party.
"What were you doing at that party anyway?" I continued to laugh. I still can't believe that happened.
"The same thing you were doing, getting wasted." he said as I rolled my eyes, hanging up on him. At least I didn't get breasts drawn in my face and loose my shoes. Irish men, always getting some sort of surprise after they're wasted.
I grabbed the Maoam Pinballs from the shelf again and went over to grab myself a drink, getting a Pepsi from the small refrigerator. Pepsi and Pinballs, sounds like a good breakfast to me, maybe I should get some Jaffa Cakes while I'm at it. No fuck it, I've only got £10 with me. I took the drink and candy to the counter and paid for my breakfast, standing outside the store until Niall showed up. How long does it take for one guy to look for his shoe? I bet he's still drunk and had just realised that he was wearing his shoes this whole time.
"Denny!" I heard a voice yell as I saw Niall on the other side of the street, rushing his way towards me. Finally.
"About time you came." I laughed as I took a drink of my Pepsi, seeing Niall fix his hair in the shop's reflection coming from the window.
"It wasn't my fault I lost a shoe, two wasted girls were holding them near a balcony. Still don't know how that happened." he said, grabbing a handful of my candy.
"Touché,"
"You look like shit," Niall said as I rolled my eyes, giving him a sarcastic laugh. Of course I look like shit, I was sober and I slept on a smelly couch, I don't come out of places looking like this everyday.
"Obviously, besides I really don't need any of your comments this early in the day." I said as we walked on the messed up concrete, eating pinballs, casually strolling.
"I really need some coffee," Niall sighed as he yawned, taking another handful of candy from the bag.
"You white boy," I laughed as he shoved me to the side playfully, shaking his head.
"I'm sorry but I need some coffee in the morning, especially with this kind of headache." Makes sense.
"Alright then, let's go stop at a coffee shop." I spoke tiredly as we walked about a mile to the nearest coffee shop. Taking a seat near the back of the shop. Taking my phone out and somewhat finding a rubber snake on the table. How classy.
@DennyEatsBrussels: Woke up with a headache, gum stuck in my hair, and a guy taking a shower #WTF
How long does it take Niall to get a fucking cup of coffee? I mean it's not like it's supposed to be some sort of espresso or anything, it's just a cup of coffee at 7:30 in the morning.
"Tweet anything special this morning?" Niall laughed as he sat down, taking a sip of his coffee. I hate how he knows me so well.
"No, not really. Just a normal tweet really." I sighed, laying my head on the table, tired as fuck.
"Let's take a picture of your morning hangover," Niall laughed as I moaned in despair, taking my phone away from my cold hands, begging me to get up.
"C'mon, it'll be fun." he teased me, rubbing my head.
"Fine, but I'm not smiling." I said, lifting up my head from the table as I picked up the bag from the shop and the snake that was on the table, wanting to go back to sleep.
"Perfect, you look like shit." Thanks, I think you should say it again for the third time since I obviously hadn't heard it enough today.
"I hate you,"
"I know," he laughed, handing me back my phone, scrolling down to see what he said about me. Something sarcastic of course. That cocky son of a bitch.
@DaIrishHoran: What a great way to start a morning :P
I hate him.