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vii.
doubts
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Harley didn't go to school for four days.
During that period, he had spent his time with Lesley. It still shocked him, but his sister never once scolded or neglected him. Unlike his mother, Lesley made sure that he eats enough. She would ask him to sleep the moment she senses that he's tired, and she would buy anything he wants. Even if he just glances at an item for a few seconds, she would instantly purchase it for him—despite his protests that he didn't want it.
He had never been cared for like this before. Mother was never concerned if he was starving. All she wanted him to do was study, study and study. If he wasn't studying, it was either because she had locked him in the basement, or because she was too busy beating him up. Lesley, on the other hand, was the opposite. She wanted him to do whatever he wanted, and she would make sure that he had all his needs.
Lesley parked the car next to the road, and he could see the worry glinting in her eyes when she looked at him. "Harley, are you sure you're ready for school? You can still sit at home if you want."
Harley gave her a reassuring smile. "I'll be fine, Lesley. Besides, I can't skip today. I have an exam, remember?"
Lesley bit her lip, before she gave him a hesitant nod. "You're right. But I want you to know that, no matter what results you get, I'll still love you, all right?"
Harley could only give his sister a small smile. He wanted to make her proud, so he would try his best. Hopefully, he could score his exams like usual. He knew that Lesley kept reminding him not to push himself, but he had done all he could in order to catch up with his lessons.
"I love you, Harley," Lesley said, throwing her arms around him. "I'll pick you up here, okay?"
He nodded his head before returning her embrace. "I love you too, Lesley."
After giving each other a quick hug, Harley exited the car. He started walking towards the school building, and he found Lesley waving at him when he glanced over his shoulder. He couldn't help but smile as he waved back, but he made an abrupt stop when he remembered that he left his lunch at home.
And he didn't bring any money.
He knew that Lesley was probably still watching him from behind, and he didn't want her to find out. So, he continued to walk as if nothing happened. She had done so much for him already, and he didn't want to trouble her anymore. Besides, it was only a few hours of school. He had lasted a day without food, so this was probably nothing.
He passed the hallway with his head lowered, and he hoped that his hat was enough to cover his face. He didn't want to make eye contact with anyone, especially after all the things he had done. However, he could still feel multiple pair of eyes onto him, and, all of a sudden, the hallway was filled with whispers. He tried to block out the sounds, but the whispers were getting louder and louder–
"Harley!"
Harley was startled when he found Nana standing in front of him. There was a huge smile on her face, though, her eyes were showing worry. And, now that he was staring at her, he realised that she had always been the one trying to befriend him despite his attitude. It made him feel bad that he had always hurt her feelings whenever she tries to be nice, but, what was done is done, and it was too late to change anything now.
Nana noticed that he wasn't responding, so she continued, "It's been a while since we've last seen you."
"Yeah..." Harley said, looking away. He couldn't look at her in the eye. He had done so many horrible things to her. "Nana, I... I'm sorry for everything I've done to you."
"Harley, it's okay," Nana said, her features softening. He winced when she suddenly held his hand. "But... what about you? Are you really okay now?"
He nodded a little. "Lesley had been taking care of me."
"And your wounds?"
"A lot of them are fading," Harley said, slowly pulling his hand away from her grasp. Inwardly, he wondered how Nana was still able to talk to him after what he had done to her. He knew that she must've been hurt with the things he had said. "Nana, why are you still talking to me?"
Nana tilted her head to the side in confusion. "What do you mean, Harley?"
He looked down, and he ended up staring at his feet. He could feel his toes curling inside his shoes. "I mean, even after all the things I've said to you, you still talk to me. Then you and Harith just kept trying to find out what was really happening to me. And then you guys were the one who visited me at the hospital. Why do you guys care so much?"
Nana gasped, before she crossed her arms against her chest. "Why would we not care?" Suddenly, she took a step forward, and Harley had to take a step back to keep his distance. "I had a feeling from the start that you were hiding something, but I couldn't tell what it was. Then Harith found you in the bathroom all injured. How are we not concerned?"
"But I said all those–"
"Because you didn't want us to find out," Nana quickly finished. She took in a deep breath before exhaling. When she looked at him, her eyes twinkled with something akin to sympathy. "Harley, forget about what you said. Harith and I don't really care–"
"That's a lie, you almost cried when Harley didn't want to eat your cookies and called you a peasant," Harith interrupted, walking towards them. Harith must be angry if he said that, so maybe it would be best if he leaves. Harley was about to walk away, but Harith grabbed his arm. "Harley, wait."
All of a sudden, breathing became a difficult task for him. Harith may have saved him from jumping off the rooftop the other day, but what if he still hadn't forgive him for all the things he'd done? Was he going to beat him up? Could he afford another set of bruises? Harley could feel the chilly air blowing at his skin, and, abruptly, his head felt light–
"Harley!" Harith called, snapping him out of his thoughts. The leonin was looking directly at him, his face worried, and Harley wondered when he had sat down on the floor. "Oh god– are you okay?!"
Harley let out a few shaky breaths, before he lifted his hand to rub his temple. The black spots that appeared around his vision were starting to disappear, and he bad to blink a few times in order to keep himself conscious.
"Harith, you idiot!" Nana scolded, punching the older leonin's arm. "You didn't have to mention that part! Now, look what you've done! He almost passed out because of you!"
"I didn't mean to! I was just about to reassure him that all is good. Harley, I'm so sorry!"
"I-It's fine," Harley muttered, making an attempt to stand up. He could feel his knees shaking underneath him, and he had to support himself by placing his hand against the wall. "Just do what you want. I... I can handle it. I've faced it for years anyway, so it wouldn't make any difference."
Harith's brows furrowed, and he stared at him for a while as if he grew a second head. Then, he seemed to understand what he meant. "What the– you thought I was going to hit you?!"
Harley flinched when Harith yelled. He then blinked a few times before looking at the leonin warily. "Weren't you going to hit me?"
"Harley, I–" Harith groaned, before he buried his face in frustration. He then lifted his head in order to look at him. "Harley, hurting you is the last thing I want to do. Why did you think I was going to hit you?"
Harley fidgeted anxiously. With the tone Harith used just now, he could've sworn that the leonin was going to hit him. He had been so apprehensive these days, he kept thinking that everyone was going to hurt him. Because Mother wasn't here to hurt him anymore, he thought that, maybe other people might be the one replacing her?
When he didn't say anything, Nana was the one who broke the silence. "Nevermind about that. Harley, we're not going to hurt you. We just wanted to make sure you're okay."
Harley gave them a barely visible nod. It was hard to believe that none of them held a grudge after what he did, but he was just going to trust them. "Okay."
She smiled before grabbing his hand. "Now, come on. Exams are about to start."
It was awkward when he reached class. The moment he arrived, the whole class seemed to fall silent. He could only lower his head as he passed everyone to make his way to his desk. He could feel everyone's stares onto him, and he knew that it must be because of everything that had happened. Thankfully, Nana started chatting with them, and the class soon became noisy again.
"Hey." Harley whipped his head to the side, and he exhaled deeply when it was just Harith. The leonin was frowning as he looked at him, and he wondered what was wrong. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to tell me, all right? I know it's too early for you to return back to school, so don't overwork yourself."
Harith's words made him remember that he had left his lunch at home, and he considered borrowing some of his money. But, remembering how he had treated the leonin in the past, he realised that he didn't deserve it. It was good enough that he wasn't mad at him. So, he just gave the leonin a smile. "Thank you, Harith."
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The bell rang, and the second exam paper was finally over. Harley dropped his pencil, and he waited for the teacher to collect his paper. Recess was in five minutes, so he would head over to the library after this. Since he couldn't really eat, it would be better if he spent some time for reading. He knew that Harith and Nana were keeping an eye on him, so he could just lie and tell them that he didn't want to eat because he wanted to study.
There was a knock, and everyone turned their heads to see who it was. Harley was surprised to find Lesley standing at the doorway, with his lunch in her hand. She spoke to the teacher for a few seconds, before the teacher called him to meet her.
Words couldn't describe how happy and relieved he was when he saw his sister. He just felt like throwing his arms around her, because school had been nerve-racking, and he just wanted to stay at home with her. But, he refrained himself from doing so, because everyone was watching, and it was bad enough that everyone knew how anxious he was the whole time.
"Harley, you left your lunch at home," Lesley said, passing his lunch to him. All of a sudden, a frown made its way to her lips, and her voice was serious when she said, "Why didn't you tell me? If I hadn't notice, you wouldn't be eating anything."
Harley averted his gaze. "I didn't want to trouble you."
"Harley," Lesley said, her voice firm. She cupped his face so that he would look at her. "You will never trouble me, do you understand? Just tell me what you need, and I'll give it to you."
He was reluctant when he nodded his head. He felt like he had troubled her enough already. "Thank you, Lesley."
She smiled, before she reached inside her pocket. She took out her purse, and she gave him twenty dollars. "Here."
His eyes widened at the amount of money she handed. "Lesley, this is too–"
"I want you to take it," Lesley said, putting the money inside his palm. She then moved her hand to cup his cheek, and she smiled sadly at him. "Your cheeks used to be so chubby, I could just squeeze them. But, because of Mother, I can't do that anymore."
Harley lowered his head. He had noticed that his cheeks had gotten sunken over the past few years, but he couldn't do anything about it when his mother was the one who controlled his diet. But that wasn't his main focus right now. Since Lesley mentioned about Mother, he wondered how she was doing. He had heard that she was in jail already, and he couldn't help but think whether she was okay or not being locked up in there.
"Anyway," Lesley said, shaking her head to snap out of her trance. "I want you to eat, all right? Eat as much as you can. I want your cheeks to be all chubby again, and you need to make up for all the nutritions you lost."
A small smile crept on his lips, and he bobbed his head. "Okay."
She threw his arms around him, and he instantly returned the hug. Her voice was soft when she said, "Please take care of yourself. I'll be waiting for you outside of school, okay? I love you, Harley."
He tightened his embrace. He didn't want her to leave him, but he had another paper after recess, so he couldn't leave school just yet. Just a few more hours, he told himself. So, reluctantly, he pulled away, and his eyes were looking at her longingly when he said, "I love you too, Lesley."
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The long-awaited bell rang, and Harley wasted no time to pack his stuff before hurrying out of school. Nana and Harith had suggested that they should walk home together, but he had told them that Lesley was waiting for him, and he would be leaving as soon as possible. The two of them understood and told him that they were okay with that, but, somewhere in the back of his mind, he couldn't help but feel guilty that he was leaving them without saying goodbye.
Earlier, the two of them had sat with him during recess. He actually preferred if he was sitting alone, but, since it was only the two of them, he didn't mind their presence. They had kept him company the whole time, and, even though he didn't talk much with them, they still tried to make a conversation with him.
Harley was relieved when he spotted Lesley's car, with Lesley standing outside of it. The moment she saw him, she waved her hand in the air, and she quickly motioned towards him to help him carry his stuff.
"So, how was exams?" Lesley asked, taking his bag from him. She then unlocked the car and opened the door. "Was it okay?"
Harley didn't want to admit, but it was a little difficult. He wasn't sure whether it was because he had missed school for a few days, or because the questions were just hard. Nonetheless, he just gave his sister a small smile. "It was okay."
"That's good to hear," Lesley said, grinning.
The both of them entered the car, and it took a while for Lesley to make sure she had everything before starting the engine. She was about to drive, when her phone started ringing. Harley could hear a muffle curse escaping from her, before she answered the phone. The moment he heard a voice coming from the other end of the phone, Lesley's lips turned into a frown, and he wondered who was calling her that seemed to ruin her mood.
All of a sudden, Lesley gripped her phone, and she sounded angry when she said, "Like hell I'm going to do that. After what you did? No."
Harley stiffened at his sister's words.
Could she be talking to Mother?
"No, I'm not doing it," Lesley said, her eyes narrowed. Her voice was monotone when she said, "Goodbye."
She ended the call, and he was startled when she just slammed her phone on the dashboard. She was eerily quiet for a while, and it looked like she was deep in thought. Her hands tapped on the steering wheel impatiently, and it didn't take long before she let out a frustrated groan.
"Lesley?" Harley called, and her face immediately softened when she looked at him. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, it's just..." She shook her head and started driving the car. "Mother wants us to visit her."
Harley was silent as he drove. He couldn't help but think about Mother. It had been a while since he had last seen her. "So... are we going to visit her?"
"What?! No!" Lesley exclaimed, her eyes focusing on the road. Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the steering wheel. "She said she misses both of us, but I don't care. She has hurt you too much, which doesn't give her the right for her to say that."
Harley didn't say anything for a while. But then, he spoke, "I miss her too, Lesley."
The car made an abrupt stop, and Harley jolted forward because of it. Thank goodness they invented seatbelts. Otherwise, he would be flying out of the window by now. Some cars honked at Lesley for stopping like that, but his sister was too busy staring at him in horror for her to notice it.
"What did you say?" Lesley said, her voice slightly raised, and Harley winced at her voice. "How could you– how could you miss someone like her?!"
Harley instantly realised his mistake, and he quickly shook his head. It wasn't like he missed her like that. He couldn't exactly describe the feeling, but all he knew was that he just felt conflicted at the moment. "I mean, I don't miss her hitting me and all, but... she's our mother, you know?"
"She's a monster!"
"I know," Harley said, his voice in a whisper. All of a sudden, his vision started to blur, and he forced himself to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. He knew that he was hurt because of her, but he couldn't help himself. "But... she was hurt by Father too..."
"Harley, I'm aware of that," Lesley said, her face growing solemn. "But that doesn't mean you should–"
"You don't understand. She needs something to release her stress," Harley said, looking at her all teary-eyed. "So, if hitting me helps her release her stress, then–"
"Don't you dare say that you're fine with it," Lesley said, her voice dangerously low. His eyes widened when he noticed that her body was shaking, and he flinched when she yelled, "I will not let you be fine with it, Harley!"
"Lesley–"
"I left you for five years with that... that bitch, only to find you bruised and suicidal after that," Lesley whispered, her eyes glistening. She let out a shuddering breath, before she continued, "Do you have any idea how much it hurts me? It hurts me to see you like this!"
Harley didn't know what to say. This was the first time he had seen her so emotional.
"Where's the Harley that loves to try out new things? Where's the Harley that isn't afraid of anything? Where's the Harley that would smile at me cheekily whenever he's enjoying himself?!" Lesley shouted, tears flowing down her cheeks. "He's gone now! He's gone because of me. I left him with Mother, and I was the one who let her reduce him into... into this!"
Harley was quiet as his sister cried, and the only thing he could do now was hold her hand. He was surprised when she let him hold it, and his frown deepened when he realised how much this had been weighing on her. He wasn't aware that his sister felt like this. He knew that she blamed himself, but he didn't know that she blames herself to this extent. He had tried reassuring her that it wasn't her fault at all. But, no matter how hard he tried, Lesley still thinks that it was her fault that he ended up like this.
"I'm sorry," Lesley said, wiping her face with her hand. She took a few deep breaths, and she looked at him when she had calmed down. "I'm sorry for yelling at you. It's just that... how are you still okay with her, even after all the things she had done to you?"
"I'm not exactly okay with her, but I just pity her, you know?" Harley said, letting out a sigh. He then leaned back in his seat. "I don't know, Lesley. I'm tired of her hitting me all the time, but... I lived with her for almost my whole life, so I feel like I need to see her one last time. At least I know that she can't hurt me while she's in jail."
Lesley looked at him thoughtfully for a while. She seemed to be considering his decision, and she soon gave him a small nod. "All right. But I'm only doing this for you, Harley. Not her, but you. We'll visit her tomorrow, okay?"
Harley nodded with a faint smile. "Okay."
"But tell me if you change your mind," Lesley muttered, almost bitterly. The car started moving again, and her eyes focused back onto the road. "If possible, I don't want you to see her at all."
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Harley had second thoughts as the car drove towards the prison that kept magic users who had wrongfully used their magic. Unlike a normal prison, their cells had a barrier to block them from using their magic. In truth, his mother rarely uses magic to hurt him—she used it more on covering up his injuries—but it still made him relieved that she couldn't do anything while being trapped in her cell.
At least he could meet her now without getting hurt.
After meeting up with a guard and talking to him for a few minutes, the guard led them to where they had locked up Mother. Harley could feel the anxiety building inside of him at the thought of seeing her face to face, and he wondered whether his sister had the same feeling too. He threw a quick glance at her, and he was slightly surprised to find her face impassive as she walked through the dim halls.
It didn't take long before they found the last woman they wanted to see. The police had kept mother in one of the special rooms due to her power, and they were surprised to find her quietly sitting in her cell, doing nothing. But, the moment she spotted them, she scrambled to her feet, and Harley almost took a step back when she looked at them directly from the cell bars.
"I'll leave you two with her," the guard said, walking away.
The moment they were all alone, Mother exclaimed, "Lesley! Harley! Oh, my sweet, sweet children. I've–"
"Save it. Just get to the point, because we won't be staying here for long," Lesley said, her voice cold and her eyes narrowed.
Instead of being offended with her attitude, Mother looked at her proudly instead. "Oh, Lesley. You've grown into such a beautiful woman. So fearless, so confident. You are so different than the Lesley I once knew."
Lesley stared at the woman in disgust before looking away. Harley noticed that her fist was shaking a little. It was as if she was trying to hold back from attacking Mother.
"And you, Harley." Harley whipped his head towards his mother's direction, and he was taken aback when he found her looking at him with remorse. "I've done so many things to you and hurt you so, so much. I blamed you for everything that your father did, and I let myself take out my anger on you."
Harley could feel his heart wrenching, and he forced himself to lower his gaze. He recollected everything that his mother did, and, all of a sudden, he could remember how painful it was things had been. The cuts, the bruises, her screams—they were all the things he wanted to forget about.
Harley was too deep in his thoughts, when his mother said, "Lesley, can you leave me alone with your brother for a few minutes?"
Lesley immediately pulled him closer to her, and her voice was filled with acid when she said, "Hell no. After what you did, you don't even deserve to talk to him. The only reason why I'm here in the first place is only because of him."
"Please," Mother said, looking at his sister pleadingly. "I need to apologise to him. I have so many things I want to tell him. I've done a lot of wrongdoings to him, Lesley. And this is probably the last time I'll ever see him."
Harley couldn't help but look at his mother with pity. It must've been hard for her back then, when Father kept hurting her continously. He wasn't sure if Lesley knew, but Mother once told him that she was actually forced to marry his father. It was because of this noble family thing, and he felt sorry for her that she had to endure being married to someone that doesn't even love her.
"Lesley, I'll be okay," Harley said, finally breaking the tensed silence. He watched as his sister looked at him wide-eye. "It's just a few minutes."
"Harley," she said, crouching down so that she could look at him in the eye. "Are you sure? I don't want you to get hurt."
"I won't," he said, smiling reassuringly at her. "She's in there anyway. She can't do anything to me."
Lesley was hesitant for a while, but then, she nodded her head. "Okay. But the moment you're getting hurt, we're getting out of here, understand?"
With a bob of his head, Lesley left the room, leaving him with only his mother. He looked at the woman with anticipation, because it sounded like there was something important she wanted to say, but he was surprised when he found her eyes glinting with unshed tears.
"Harley, I–" The words were cut off when she sniffed, and she averted her gaze from him. She inhaled before letting out a deep, shuddering breath. "I... I know that I've done so many things to you, and I know that what I did to you was unforgivable, but I just want to say; I'm really sorry for what I've done."
Harley opened his mouth to say something, but he found the words stuck in his throat. This was all too overwhelming for him, to the point where he couldn't even respond. His childhood had been terrible because of her, and he was so used to getting hurt by her. So, seeing her apologise to him, it made him perplexed.
"It seems Lesley has taken care of you—something I have failed to do," Mother continued, despite his silence. "You look livelier than before, and I'm glad that you seem to be recovering. Has she been a good sister?"
Harley could only manage a small nod of his head.
"That's good," Mother said, letting out a sigh of relief. She stared at him for a while before giving him a watery smile. "I guess this is goodbye, right? You no longer have to see me anymore."
Harley opened his mouth. "Mother, I–"
"No, it's okay. I don't deserve to see you anyway. I'm just glad I got this opportunity," Mother said, the smile on her face disappearing. She looked at him, and her voice was soft when she said, "Harley, can you come closer?"
He was reluctant to do it, but he took a step forward anyway. He winced when his mother placed a hand over his cheek, and he was dumbfounded when she started caressing it. It was weird to feel her touch when she was not hurting him. Her hand started moving towards his hair, and he couldn't help but close his eyes when she started brushing it. The way she stroked them reminded him of Lesley, and he found himself leaning closer towards her touch.
"My poor son. I'm so sorry for hurting you all these years. At least now you have Lesley to take care of you. Even if she hadn't seen you for five years, she still cares about you," Mother whispered, her voice filled with sorrow. All of a sudden, she took a fistful of his hair, and she yanked his head forward, slamming his head at the cell bars. He cried in pain when his head collided with iron, and his eyes flew open, only to find a cold pair of eyes looking back at him. "But how long do you think she will care about you before she starts hating you?"
He tried to get out of her grasp, but he could only feel her tightening her grip. He made an attempt to pry her fingers away from his hair, but it was no use. Her grip on him was firm.
"You poor, naive, idiotic child," Mother said, her voice filled with feigned sympathy. She yanked his head forward again, and he cried when his head hit the bars again. "Just wait until you disappoint or irritate her. Then you'll see that she's really my daughter."
Tears prickled at his eyes, and he could see his vision starting to blur. He didn't know which hurt more; his mother's words or his forehead, but he just wanted to get her hand off from him. Shakily, he moved his hands to pull her fingers away, but he cried out when she tightened her grip again. Forcefully, she pulled his head forward, and he squeezed his eyes shut when his head hit the bars again.
"Harley!" he heard his sister yell. He didn't know when she had entered the room, but she was already pulling him out of Mother's grasp. "Let go of him!"
His mother finally released his hair, and he instinctively threw his arms around his sister as he burst into tears. He could feel Lesley bending down to hug him, and he felt her stroking his hair at where his mother had pulled. She was currently whispering something to reassure him, but the words came out muffled as he continued to weep.
"How could you!" Lesley shouted at Mother, while pulling him closer to her. She then grabbed his hand and led him to the door. "We're leaving, Harley."
But Mother wasn't going to keep silent. The last thing Harley heard before they exit was, "Remember what I said, Harley! Just like me, she will–!"
Lesley slammed the door close, and Harley was silent as she dragged him to the car. He felt so betrayed right now. He thought that Mother would change after she had went into jail, but he should've known that she still harboured the same hatred towards him. How was he stupid enough to believe that she had changed? No, why did he decide to visit her in the first place? Lesley was right. Visiting his mother was a bad idea.
The moment they entered the car, Lesley examined him. She gasped when she spotted his face, and he recoiled when she touched his forehead. Pain shot through where she had touched, and he watched as her lips were instantly pulled into a frown. "Harley, I think you are going to have a bruise on your head."
He had guessed that much, and he gently touched his temple, only to wince when it hurt.
"I told you that visiting her was a bad idea. We shouldn't have–" She stopped, and she suddenly shook her head. "No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have brought you here even though you wanted to see her. I knew it would cause more harm than good, yet I still brought you here. I'm sorry."
He lowered his head, and he could feel the tears gathering at his eyes again.
Why was his sister apologising? Wasn't it his fault that this happened? He was the idiotic one who wanted to visit his mother so much. If he wasn't so naive, maybe this wouldn't have happened in the first place.
Mother was right. He really was a stupid child.
He didn't realise that he was slowly drowning in his own thoughts. It felt like he was falling into a dangerous pit, and he could hear muffled sounds whispering in his ears. Soon, the words start to become clearer, and he realised that it was all his mother's words.
"I should've aborted you!"
"I hate myself for giving birth to you!"
"Just die already!"
He could feel his eyes stinging as tears started flowing down his cheeks.
Why did Harith save him back then? If he had died, maybe things would be–
"Harley!"
Harley returned to his senses, and he was surprised to find his sister pulling him into an embrace. Her body was shaking as she hugged him, and only now he realised that his magic had been swirling in the air. Several cards had appeared inside the car, and he used whatever remaining strength he had to make them disappear. Once the cards were gone, Lesley pulled away, and he watched as she inspected him by cupping his face into her hands.
"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for letting you see her," Lesley whispered, and she threw her arms again around him. It felt like she was holding him in case he might disappear, because her embrace was so tight. "Please don't try killing yourself again. I'm begging you. Please don't."
It was as if she knew that he was reconsidering his previous decision, and he felt guilty that it was upsetting her. Slowly, he returned her hug, and he gave her a half-hearted nod.
I'll try.
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Harley was startled when he heard someone knocking his bedroom door, and he smiled faintly when Lesley entered. She had been keeping an eye on him ever since they came back from the prison, and he knew it was because she didn't trust him being alone for too long. She would stay close to him wherever he walks in the house, and he didn't know whether he was glad or annoyed with her company.
"Getting ready for bed already?" Lesley asked, preparing his bed for him to sleep. She puffed up his pillows and pulled the blankets off from his mattress. "Come, Harley."
He climbed over the bed and laid down onto his pillow. He observed as his sister pulled the blankets over his body before kneeling in front of him. He expected his sister to brush his hair like usual before kissing goodnight, so he was surprised when she just laid her forearms over his bed and stared at him.
"Lesley?" he called, lifting his head up a bit. His sister looked like she was distracted with something. "What's wrong?"
Lesley had a contemplative look for a while. The room was quiet as Harley looked at her in anticipation, and she finally spoke, "What did Mother say to you, Harley?"
Instantly, he averted his gaze, and he quickly turned his body to the other side so that he wouldn't face his sister. He mumbled, "It's nothing."
"Harley." She placed a hand over his shoulder, and he tensed at the gesture. He pulled the blankets closer to him in order to give him some reassurance, but it wasn't helping. "Harley, you were really upset just now. I need to know what she said to you."
He gritted his teeth, and he squeezed his eyes shut. He wasn't in the mood to talk about this right now. "It's nothing, Lesley. I was stupid to visit her, okay?"
Lesley didn't say anything, and Harley could feel himself tensing even more in apprehension. Why was she being so quiet? Slowly, he tilted his head to look behind him, and his eyes widened when he saw her eyes darkening. She didn't move nor looked at him, but Harley saw the murderous intent reflecting in her eyes. Those hazel eyes screamed bloodlust, and he fell off his bed when he rolled to the side to get away from her.
He could feel his lungs slowly failing to breathe, and he blanched when his sister just kept staring ahead with those dead eyes. He knew what this meant. Lesley was probably done with him, and he was going to get it for real this time. He had been acting so stubborn lately, it was no wonder that she couldn't tolerate with him anymore.
But what made him hyperventilate was when she stood up and started motioning towards him. He scrambled away as she got closer and closer, and he started screaming when she grabbed his wrists.
All of a sudden, his sister's face morphed into Mother's, and he watched as a cruel smile made its way to her lips. A sinister laugh echoed in his ears, and his screams reached to the point where it sounded hysterical as he frantically kicked his legs.
"Harley!"
He could feel his strength waning, and he just stopped struggling when he knew that it was all futile. His screams turned into sobs, and he braced himself for the incoming pain that he deserved for being so troubleso–
"Harley!"
His eyes flew open, and he was dumbstruck to find his sister looking at him with worry. He blinked a few times to adjust his vision, and he realised that it was really his sister and not his mother. He looked down, and he noticed how his sister was holding his hands. Not because she wanted to hurt him, but because she was trying to snap him out of his trance.
"I'm not going to hurt you, Harley. I'm not going to hurt you," Lesley said, as if she had been repeating the words multiple times. Maybe she did say it, but it was only him who didn't notice. "Hey, are you okay now?"
Harley could feel his body shaking a little, but he tried his best to calm himself down by taking deep breaths. Lesley pulled him into a hug, and he could feel himself slowly regaining his composure as she rubbed his back. The room was silent, and the only thing he could hear was his own breathing. But, the moment his mother's words rung in his ears again, his eyes started to water, and he started crying all over again.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Lesley asked, her voice soft. She pulled away, and her eyes were full of concern when she looked at him. "What's making you so upset, Harley? Did something happen?"
He sniffed a few times, and he opened his mouth to tell her, but the words were stuck in his throat. He knew that his voice would falter if he talks now, so he had to wait for a few seconds for his sobbing to subside. Once he felt like he was okay enough to speak, only then he spoke. Though, his words were full of stutters. "I-I'm s-sorry for always t-troubling you..."
"Harley." Lesley held his face in her hands, and she tilted his head up so that he would look at her. Her expression was sober when she said, "I never want to hear you apologise again, Harley. You have never troubled me, do you understand?"
"B-But I always..." He remembered throwing the crayons she bought, he remembered dropping the plate in the kitchen, he remembered not listening to her when she said she didn't want him to see Mother. He had been a burden to her since day one, and he hated how she hadn't scolded him yet for all the things he did. "Don't you feel like hitting me when I cause you trouble?"
"Harley," she said, firmly. She gripped both of his shoulders, and he was forced to look at her. "Don't ever, and I mean never ask me that kind of question to me again. I am not going to hit you. I am not like Mother. I hate seeing you hurt, because it hurts me when you are, and do you have any idea how painful it is to hear you asking me such an absurd question?"
"But–"
His words were caught off when she wrapped her arms around him. He could feel her body trembling, and her voice was barely above a whisper when she said, "I love you, Harley. I love you so, so much. But it saddens me to hear that you always think that I'm going to hurt you. What did I do wrong that caused you to think like that?"
It broke his heart that his words were affecting her, and he had never felt so worthless before. He doesn't deserve any of her kindness at all. "It's not you, Lesley. It's just me. Mother kept saying that you will hurt me, and I just..."
Lesley must've understood what he was trying to imply, because she just nodded her head. She pulled away, and her words were earnest when she said, "Don't believe her, Harley. I will never hurt you, and I will keep trying to prove you that no matter how long it takes. So, please, forget what Mother had said to you. All she said were just lies to make you be afraid me."
He gave a slight bob of his head, and he leaned forward to rest his head against his sister. He was too tired to think anymore. It felt like his energy was drained, and there was nothing he could do to keep his eyes from drooping.
He felt Lesley shift him so that he was laying his head on her lap. Within seconds, he could feel her hands carefully stroking his hair. He was glad when she avoided touching the bruise on his temple. "Goodnight, Harley."
He wanted to respond to her, but his words came out as an incoherent mumble. In the end, his eyes drooped, and he just fell into slumber.
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note: oh my god. i could've sworn this would be the last chapter. but, guess what? my brain decided to make things longer, so here we are without the final chapter yet. i didn't know that this story would end up this long. this chapter itself is already 7k words asdfghklsk
i'm sorry if you guys thought that this was the last chapter. i guess the next chapter would be the last? (but i can't promise you since i've been saying that for the past three chapters lol). and i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter :)