❝There may be a million reasons why I should give you up. But the heart wants what it wants.❞
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Disclaimer: This chapter contains explicit content.
JESSAMINE
"So, do you want anything to eat? Or maybe drink?" Jacobs asks tentatively. Shaking my head in response, I walk towards the unoccupied bed, ready to call it a night. I'm strolling past him when his hand shoots out and latches onto my wrist, halting me in my steps. I avert my gaze, trying to look anywhere but in his chocolate eyes. He bites the inside of his cheek, unable to form words.
"Why are things so strained between us?" He inquires. I look at him, surprised, is he really asking me this question? I pull my wrist out of his grip and he frowns at me.
"If you still don't know, then there's no point in me trying to explain." I plop down on the bed and reach for the covers but Jacob interrupts me by sitting down next to me. I groan in frustration. Even though I'm craving his touch, I can't. I've been down this road before and it only ended in heartache.
"I know you hate my guts but just listen to me," Jacob pleads. If only that was the truth, everything would be so much simpler. I heave a sigh and turn to him, letting him know I'm listening.
He leans close to me. "You remember when I used to argue with my parents, I would always come to you? You were there just to listen to me ramble on and on and then we'd spend the whole night pigging out and watching trash movies," he states, playing the memory in his head. I quirk my lips in amusement. I distinctly remember him telling me that I was his person to unload his problems on.
"Yeah, we've changed so much since then. Now you have your girlfriend to do that." He gazes down at his hands when I speak, his mood completely changing.
"Yeah," he mumbles.
"Okay good talk, I'm going to sleep now."
I'm about to sleep when his voice interrupts me. "He's back, Jessa. He's back and he wants me to come with him." I halt at what he's saying and turn back to face him.
"What did Hazel say about his return?"
"Mom doesn't know. But I don't know what to do. Sure, he was a shitty husband, but he was never a shitty dad." He closes his eyes as if to forget about the day his life changed. I hesitantly grab his hand, and his eyes shoot open. He looks at me, his face clouding with confusion.
"I know you love him but he walked out on you Jacob. It's been 4 years and he never once looked back." Jacob gives me a halfhearted nod. "But if you're sure he's there to stay then build a connection with him, maybe you need it."
"You're right. I'll think about it. Thank you." I give him a smile in return. "I couldn't talk about this with Hales, it's just that she doesn't understand. She wasn't there when it all happened. She wasn't the one to comfort me back then.." He lets his hand go and instead intertwines our fingers, "...but you were." I look down, unnerved by his intense gaze.
"You did love me, didn't you?" He questions softly.
"Yeah, I mean-" I never get a chance to finish my sentence because Jacob's mouth descends on mine. I'm shocked at first, but one of his hands going to my neck jolts me out of my daze and I begin to respond. His teeth nibble on my lower lip, asking access to my mouth which I happily grant.
Our tongues begin to wrestle and he's about to pull away but I tug at his hair, which makes him growl.
(Explicit scene begins)
Jacob reluctantly leaves my mouth and starts to make quick work of taking off my top, popping open the buttons as he makes his way down. I know I shouldn't be doing this, he has a girlfriend for God's sake, but my mind is in a lust induced haze that doesn't give a fuck.
He slips off my top and leans back to admire me. He lets out a sharp intake of breath, when his gaze lands on my red lacy bra. I always wear lingerie, because you never know when you might get lucky. Before he has a chance to take off my bra, I stop him and start undoing the buttons of his pants. He groans in appreciation when he sees my hand going to grab his member. I pull my hand back, bring it up to my mouth and spit on it before resuming to grab it.
"Ah fuck, Jessamine." He is hard by the time my hand comes into contact with his flesh. I slide my hand up and down his engorged penis, while his head nuzzles my neck, and he whispers words of encouragement. It goes on like this for a while, I bring him to the brink of ecstasy and then slow down my speed.
Jacob having had enough of my teasing, seizes my hand and brings it up. An animalistic growl leaves his mouth before he lays me down on the bed. He tears off the rest of my clothes leaving me naked. I see a moment of hesitation pass through his eyes, before he shakes his head to get rid of it and positions himself at my entrance.
Well, this is happening. There is no going back after-
I don't have time to complete the thought before he thrusts in me. My saliva on his dick makes it easier for him to slide in me. I let out a low moan while he stays completely still.
"God, I don't want this to be over before it even begins," he groans. Sex after three months will do this to you, people. We stay like this for a few seconds before he starts moving, faster and harder. I latch my legs around his waist, to make it even more pleasurable and a groan leaves his mouth at our new position.
The sound of our moaning echoes through the room. After a few minutes, Jacob looks at me and immediately pulls out, before cumming.
(Explicit scene ends)
He takes a deep breath and his gaze drifts to mine. I bite my lip, nervous, I'm afraid of his reaction now that the haze has cleared. He gives me a faint smile, and gets out of bed, striding towards the bathroom. I hear the vague sound of things being broken, and my heart sinks.
Stupid, stupid. Why did I think things would be different?
I should know better. I'll always be the girl that guys fuck, before going to find their 'perfect girlfriend'. I'll never be the girl that guys want to take on dates, introduce to their parents or even fall in love. I'm just some slut. With that thought in mind, I hurriedly dress before sprinting to my room. The ache in my chest getting bigger with every step I take. I don't even bother to knock on my room and just barge in.
"W-wha? Jessamine?" Audrey's concern voice fills my ears but I don't stop, not until I have entered the bathroom, shut the door and leaned against it. That's when I let go. The tears keep streaming down my face, while my hand's clutching onto my chest, to somehow make the pain stop. Maybe I deserve this, after everything I've done. After all the pain I've caused, karma got to me. I was foolish to think that Jacob would ever go for me.
No one would ever want me.
Audrey keeps knocking on the door asking me if I'm okay but I don't answer. I just want to suffer for a little bit, I deserve to suffer for what I have done. Also, I'm not ready for the judgement that is undoubtedly going to come from her. I put my head in my hands, and stay there for a few hours.
"Hey, are you hungry? I've got some room service. What do-" I fling open the door, and throw myself into her arms, needing comfort after being an emotional mess. She's shocked at first but her arms go around me, holding me tight against her.
"I'm so sorry," she whispers.
***
"I'm sorry, Mrs. Turner but Jessamine isn't feeling well, and I can't leave her alone right now," Audrey tells someone at the door.
"Now how are we going to find replacement girls at the last second? The audacity of you children! If ya'll's parents weren't donating thousands, I would have kicked you out for this behavior. She's cheer captain for God's sake!" The coach shouts back.
"I understand, I really am sorry." Mrs. Turner huffs in annoyance before stomping away. "Witch," Audrey mutters after closing the door.
"You know you can say bitch," I say, not bothering to lift my head. Audrey flinches, surprised to see me awake. "Her shouting woke me up," I explain. Audrey slips into my bed and grabs by hand.
"Go ahead, tell me how stupid I acted. I deserve it."
"You just acted like someone in love, sure it was stupid but love makes people stupid. I don't blame you." I stare at her in puzzlement. I wasn't expecting this. "Anyways, you already know what you did was wrong, what will I achieve saying the same thing?" I nod my head at her.
"How are you feeling?" she asks me gently. I close my eyes. How am I feeling? Shit. Terrible. Dreadful. Awful. Hurt.
"Fine," I reply, giving her a half-smile.
She doesn't have the opportunity to question me before a knock sounds on the door. Audrey ambles to the door, and the knocking gets louder. "I'm coming! Geez. Who is-" Her tone turns menacing when she sees who's on the other side. "What the hell do you want? Haven't you done enough?"
A familiar voice answers, "I just want to talk to her. Please, Audrey."
"Fuck no, get out of here." Wow, she swore. She must be really mad. During the time I've known her, she has never cursed, claiming that it wasn't ladylike. Well, I've got news for her. Sleeping with multiple people isn't ladylike either. I tune out the rest of their conversation, so the ache in my chest doesn't resurface. Staring at the wall in front of me, lost in my thoughts when I hear someone shouting my name in the background.
"Let him in," I state. Jacob shoves Audrey out of the way and trudges in the room. I don't face him. "What do you want?" I say in a monotone voice. He hesitates before speaking, "Listen about what happened last night, I-"
"Get to the point." The sooner he leaves, the better.
"Okay, I want to ask a favor." I hear Audrey muttering 'This bitch' behind him.
"It's just, um, I would appreciate it if you don't tell anyone about what happened. Sure, Hailey and I are taking a break, but if the news reaches her, it would just break her heart," he says, love and adoration oozing from his voice, for her. I tightly grip the sheets. What about my heart? Am I just a fuck toy now? Don't my feelings matter?
"Okay." He still doesn't leave. Maybe he doesn't believe me? But that's not my problem. I sit upright and look directly at him. He has dark circles under his eyes from the lack of sleep, while his hair is mussed up probably from running his hand through it countless times.
"Now, leave," I order, hate seeping into my voice. He flinches back from my cold tone, and regret is evident in his face. He lifts his hand and takes a step closer to me. I abruptly lean back before he can touch me.
"Get the fuck out, Jacob." He mumbles something under his breath before rushing out of the room. Audrey slams the door shut as soon as he's gone.
"Good riddance," she says. As soon as the door's shut, I collapse on the bed. That was emotionally exhausting. I feel someone clasping my hand and I look to see Audrey smiling at me. "You did great."
I give her a halfhearted smile in return. "I can't wait to go back home."
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