"LOOK OUT BELOOOOOOWWWW!" Elphaba bellowed as she lunged forward, freefalling from the rafters and down towards Glinda.
"Gah! Sweet Oz, Elphie!" Glinda shrieked as she lunged to the side so that Elphaba wouldn't slam into her. Right at the last second, however, Elphaba revealed that she had been holding onto a rope during her little freefall. A few inches away from Glinda's head, the rope pulled tight and Elphaba went swinging forward, defying gravity and sailing through the air. A few seconds later, then, she released the rope and went slamming headfirst into a large pile of hay waiting at the opposite side of the barn in which they were currently in.
The force with which Elphaba hit the hay was so great that she disappeared completely into the giant heap of straw. A few seconds later, then, her green face came popping back up out of the hay, quite a bit of the straw getting stuck in her long, thick, dark hair.
"Woo hoo!" she cheered with a giant grin as she swam back out of the hay pile, crawling to her feet at last.
"Sweet Oz, Elphie!" Glinda repeated, but this time with tired and amused exasperation instead of outright terror.
"Oh what? Come on! Like you've never done that before!" Elphaba snorted as she brushed off some of the hay clinging to her black cloak.
"No!" Glinda cried defensively, crossing her arms. "Where I'm from, we rode around on horses and oversaw the farmhands as they tended to the crops! We most certainly did not body-slam into hay bales after jumping from the barn rafters!" the little blond turned up her nose in disgust, but Elphaba shook her head with a disbelieving little smile.
As haughty as Glinda liked to pretend to be, she could be just as spirited and immature as anyone else. And Elphaba was certain that Glinda had "hay dived" before because she knew the little Upland was a farm girl at heart. Maybe she never worked out in the fields, but she had been raised in a barn just as much as Elphaba had. Neither of them were strangers to the world of farmland and agriculture. Even if Glinda's farm had been nicer and larger than Elphaba's, she had still been raised around crops and animals. There was no way a girl like that never once engaged in any sort of shenanigans like jumping into enormous haystacks. It was impossible for Glinda to not have!
"Pertha Hills is a distinguished agricultural community!" Glinda continued to huff indignantly, nose in the air as she gave a prideful toss of her golden curls. They inexplicably reminded Elphaba of the straw that she was still covered in. Elphaba laughed a little at Glinda's showy defenses. Although she was correct that Pertha Hills had the reputation of being a beautiful pastoral community, that really was just a fancy way of saying "farm", so to hear her ramble on and on about the farm's famous and acclaimed history and value to Oz made Elphaba smirk knowingly.
"C'mon Glinda, a farm's a farm, no matter what you call it!" the green girl insisted.
"Is not!" Glinda shot back. "Pertha-"
"Oh, Pertha, Pertha, Pertha!" Elphaba cut the little blond off. "I'm starting to get jealous, you know? Maybe the Thropp's farms in Munchkinland are a bit... shoddy, but we still have quite a lot to offer!" she insisted. "Now come on!" and before Glinda could protest any further, Elphaba took her by the hand and led her outside into the vast, sprawling green of the fields that surrounded Elphaba's home.
Despite herself, Glinda was amazed by what she saw. Fresh produce, hearty crops, a bountiful and beautiful harvest, rich and rolling fields. The farms in Munchkinland really were beautiful and iconic. Maybe they lacked Pertha Hills' elegance, but Munchkindland still had a very rustic and lovely appearance. Though that was to be expected. The east did produce the most (and best) of Oz's crops, so of course the Munchkins would know how to create gorgeous and efficient farms. Even though there were agricultural areas across the country, the east was the heart of it all. It was the crown jewel in Oz's agriculture industry. And now Glinda stood in the heart of it too, with Elphaba at her side, taking her on a grand tour!
"Hi Boq!" Elphaba shouted at one point, recognizing the tiny little Munchkin even though he was bent over and busily working on some crops. When he heard her call, he turned around, his bright, round face flushed with a merry and contented sort of delight.
"Ms. Elphaba!" he cried, waving. And then when he caught sight of Glinda, his smile widened. "Ah! And a good day to you as well, Ms. Glinda! I didn't realize that you would be visiting!"
"Yeah, well, summer break and all. Elphaba wanted me to come over and see the farms so she could show her future kingdom off a little," Glinda smiled, elbowing Elphaba playfully as they approached the young Munchkin.
"What?! No I didn't! That's not at all why I brought you here!" Elphaba frowned. "You know I'm not like that!"
"Oh, calm down, Elphie! I was just joking!" Glinda roared with laughter. Boq echoed the sound.
"I say, Ms. Elphaba, I forgot how easily offended you got!" he jibed.
"I do not get easily offended!" Elphaba snapped, not at all helping her case. Boq and Glinda, meanwhile, continued to laugh at her expense, sharing a private jest while she glared down at them both.
Even though it was true Elphaba was next in line to rule Munchkinland as their Eminent Thropp and even though it was true that Elphaba was ready and willing to take on that title to the best of her ability, it was untrue that she bragged about it. Instead, although she did look forward to the day she would take the throne, so to speak, she absolutely despised talking about it in case it did sound like she was trying to brag. She wasn't Fiyero, who spent half of his time reminding everyone that he was a Winkie Prince with like eight castles all over Oz!
But Boq and Glinda knew this very well. They both knew Elphaba did not like bragging and they knew she did not like being prideful and they knew that while she was proud to be the heir to Munchkinland, it was not the vain and selfish sort of pride that most heirs to power displayed. But even though they knew Elphaba's reasons for bringing Glinda to visit were totally humble and noble, they still liked to tease the green girl on it, insisting that she had only set up this date with the little blond in order to try and impress her.
"I don't need to try and impress her," Elphaba continued to scowl, but as she said this, a playful and mischievous light filled her dark brown eyes. "I know that I'm already so much more talented and intelligent that she is that all I need to do is to perform a basic levitation spell and it will wow her!" she said and both Boq and Glinda's eyes went wide at such an unusually playful taunt coming from Elphaba.
"Why I do believe that you had better watch out, Ms. Glinda!" Boq laughed heartily. "Elphaba is showing no mercy today!" Glinda, meanwhile, could only stutter and sputter in embarrassment, unable to think up a good retort because the green girl wasn't entire wrong. Glinda really was very easily impressed by the Thropp. Now the tables had turned and while Boq and Elphaba laughed, Glinda was left to flounder in annoyance and embarrassment, but it was all done in good fun.
After that, however, Elphaba continued on with the tour, leading Glinda deeper into Munchkindland and deeper into the surrounding farm areas. Every type of agriculture product that she could thing of was being grown here. There was a pasture for everything! Corn seemed to be the most abundant, Glinda seeing nothing but green and gold for miles in all direction, but there was an array and abundance of other things been planted, grown and harvested as well. They passed rows and rows of fences and scarecrows that lined the glorious, famous, Yellow Brick Road and Elphaba seemed to know almost everyone she met. Although none of them were quite as friendly as Boq, a few of them did have the decency to respond to her greetings, or at least be somewhat polite.
"I think it's because they know I'm next in line for the throne," Elphaba whispered when one family gave her a set of rather forced smiles. They had the decency to say hello, but it was clear that they still didn't feel very comfortable around the girl with green skin.
"They know as the next Eminent, their future lies in my hands!" the green girl continued with a wicked little smile. Although Elphaba would never ever abuse her power and she would never ever use her position in order to exact revenge on those who used to bully, hurt, harass and mock her, she did still occasionally like to think about it and make jokes. And what she said wasn't a lie. Elphaba was pretty sure that half of the people who were nice to her were only nice to her because they knew who she was. And they knew who she would become in due time...
"Good!" Glinda replied, not at all put off by Elphaba's wicked little joke. As far as she was concerned, the people of Munchkindland should fear Elphaba, not because she was scary, but because she didn't deserve to be treated so badly by them! Glinda was totally in favor of Elphaba using her power to finally get all the respect, kindness and admiration that she deserved! But Elphaba was far more relaxed about all of it. Although she didn't like how poorly her town used to treat her (and some of them could still be quite cruel), their words didn't bother her as much as they used to. She was going to be the next Eminent whether they liked it or not, and now that Elphaba had Glinda in her life, who else did she really need? Let the entire country bemoan her ascension to power, she did not care. So long as she had Glinda, she was happy. The words could not hurt her any longer now that she had someone in the world whom she knew that loved her.
When the sun began to set, Elphaba and Glinda finally turned around to go back home. They hadn't just toured the endless fields and farmlands, they had made a few stops to help some of the workers out. Those who were friendly enough thanked Elphaba and her pretty guest for their assistance. The less-than-friendly at least had the grace to grunt out a thanks.
"The nerve of him!" Glinda remarked as one sallow old man cast Elphaba a dirty look once they both took leave of his presence.
"Ah, he's always been like that to everyone," Elphaba shrugged. "It's not just me that he hates."
"Well! He could still do to brighten up!" Glinda insisted. Elphaba only laughed before taking Glinda's hand in her own. That gesture was more than enough to settle the blond back down.
Once the pair reached the heart of town again, where Elphaba lived, they saw Frex, Nanny, Nessa and Shell waiting for them.
"Elphaba! Glinda!" Nessa, Nanny and Shell looked pleased to see the rest of the family come near. Frex gave them a tiny, slightly strained smile. Elphaba ignored him. Glinda, meanwhile, cast him an uncertain look. She certainly did not like how much Frex seemed to favor his other two kids over Elphaba and she absolutely despised the way he treated Elphaba, but she could see it in his eyes that he was sort of trying to be better. Besides, Frex was Elphaba's father, not her own, so she couldn't quite call him out on his behavior. At least not yet, anyway. So she, like Elphaba, ignored him in favor of the other Thropps.
Nessa and Nanny had, just like always, stayed near the house, helping care for it and its inhabitants while doing the more paperwork-based labor that farming required. Even though most people only thought of tractors, animals, gardening tools and other ruddy, earthy equipment, there was far more to farming than just that. And Glinda knew this all too well. Once again, she too was a farm girl, having spent her entire life in Pertha Hills up until she moved on to attend Shiz University where she first met Elphaba. So Glinda was very familiar with all the paperwork one need to fill in order to properly and accurately assess how much a farm managed to produce, and how much it would then sell to the public. Glinda sometimes even helped Nessa and Nanny fill out all the paperwork, insisting that it was good practice for them. It also made the work go by faster with an extra set of hands and it gave Glinda the chance to bond more with the other females in the Thropp family.
Shell, meanwhile, spent most of his days outside. If he wasn't helping the farmhands, he was out hunting... or causing trouble with his other piggish and airheaded male compatriots. It was a bit annoying, but because he mostly got his work done, the other Thropps let him be. Apparently, today, he had managed to remain mostly well-behaved and productive, hunting and bringing in some nice game. He wasted no time in enthusiastically telling everyone, over dinner, about all the daring adventures and stunts he and his "brothers" had done while out hunting. He described, in almost perfect detail, every second of their dramatic hunt, talking about the weapons they used and the animals they went after. It was clear that Elphaba looked mildly uncomfortable with such talk, but she understood to hold her tongue in times like this. It would do no good to cause another family fight over dinner. They had already fought over Shell's hunting habits many, many times before. It was a fight that did not need to commence again, so it didn't.
Once dinner was done, then, each of the Thropps helped clean up. Glinda was included on this list as an honorary Thropp. The others had a very good feeling that Elphaba would one day marry her and make it official, so they were just setting in early.
"Glinda Thropp, the Eminent Consort to our Great Thropp Third Descending!" Shell teased and when Elphaba tossed a corncob at him, he caught it without even flinching. "Nice try, sis!" he snorted. "But I have the reflexes of a- GAHHH!" he didn't even get to finish before Nessa had wheeled up behind him in her chair and playfully shoved her own corncob down the back of her shirt.
"You were saying?" Elphaba snickered as she and Nessa winked at one another. Although Nessa liked to pretend to be better than everyone else, her heart-to-hearts with Glinda mellowed her out some and she was slowly starting to warm up to her older sister. Nessa and Elphaba had always had a rather strange relationship, sometimes it was strained and sometimes it was not, but thanks to Glinda, Nessa was making a more conscious effort to err on the side of the latter.
"Sisters gotta stick together," Nessa laughed as she wheeled safely away from Shell.
"Why I oughta!" Shell pulled the corncob from his shirt and brandished it like a sword.
"Oh, no you don't!" Elphaba grabbed the corncob from her father's plate and pretended to go running after her siblings.
"Children! Enough! Stop acting like buffoons! Were you all raised in a barn?!" Frex snapped tiredly. The three younger Thropps stopped dead in their tracks and hung their heads, but not a single one of them looked apologetic. Instead, they were all masking smirks and snickers at the irony of his remark. It was Nanny, who had also been helping with cleanup, who called Frex out on his remark.
"Technically, they have," she said serenely, nearly dropping several plates as she brought them over to the sink. Frex heaved a sigh at her.
"Sorry father," the children intoned at the same time, but even though their voices were flat and solemn, it was clear they weren't at all sorry. For this, Frex heaved another tired sigh, but said nothing else, instead choosing just to gesture to the dishes and the sink. The command was clear.
15 minutes later, thanks to the extra help Glinda was able to provide, everything was cleaned up and put away.
"Thank you, duckies!" Nanny told them all as she returned the last of the plates to their proper cupboards.
"Fastest cleaning ever!" Shell sounded relived.
"And it was all thanks to Glinda!" Elphaba replied, throwing an arm around the smaller girl as she smiled broadly down at her.
"Your dinner wasn't quite as good as what we have back at Pertha Hills," she replied cheekily.
"Oh, hush!" Elphaba pulled away from Glinda then, swatting her arm playfully. This earned a laugh from Glinda.
But even though dinner and cleanup were done, the night most certainly wasn't.
"We're about to do something really crazy and stupid," Shell grinned as he dragged Elphaba and Glinda out of the house by their arms. Even Nessa came along, wheeling after the other three.
"Don't get into any trouble, duckies!" Nanny shouted fondly to them as she watched them go, waving them a farewell from the doorway.
"Ummm, wait, what are we doing?" Glinda asked, eyes widening as the others dragged her further and further away from the house.
"Just a stupid little game we do sometimes," Elphaba muttered, sounding embarrassed.
"It's essentially Capture the Flag in the cornfields," Nessa explained as she wheeled after everyone.
"It's what?" once again, Glinda blanched and could only ask dumbly about what the heck was going to happen.
"You heard her!" Shell replied gleefully. "It's an old ritual every good Munchkin engages in! On certain, warm, summer nights, we all agree to just meet up and tussle around the cornfields a bit!"
"And it usually ends up in messes and injuries if it doesn't mess up in mischief, chaos and someone almost getting arrested," Elphaba admitted with a dry grin. This was something even the famous and stoic Thropp children engaged in, this farm-style Capture the Flag.
As the name entailed, various inhabitants of the east would come together and each pick a cornfield. The rest of the night would be an all-out war as each side tried to steal the other's flag, but what made it interesting was the fact that farm tool and equipment were part of the game.
"And so are all of the crops that we cannot sell or eat," Elphaba warned. So yes, there would be a food fight tonight.
"What?!" Glinda shrieked. Maybe she had been a farm girl herself and ok, yes, maybe she had swung into hay bales from barn rafters before too (though she'd never admit this to Elphaba) even she had never engaged in anything like late-night-farm-Capture-the-Flag!
"Don't worry, there are some heavy-duty overalls waiting for us," Shell promised merrily as the quartet continued to run (or in Nessa's case, wheel) along the darkening paths out to the larger cornfields.
"I can't believe it!" Glinda muttered under her breath as Shell continued to cheerfully lead the way. "Were you all literally raised in a barn?"
10 minutes later, then, Glinda found herself sprinting through the cornfields with loud and jubilant shouts echoing around her on all sides. Laughter and curses filled the summer night's air as dark outlines zoomed in and out of sight. She could hear the sound of splatting, squashing food and the sound of various gardening tools being used in melee battles as the two sides to this crazy game engaged in combat. At one point, then, there was a slew of very loud mooing which was then followed by the rumbling roar of a tractor.
"YEE HAW!" the shout was what told Glinda who was riding that tractor. Shell! Of course he was.
"This is insane!" Glinda breathed as she heard another tractor's engine starting up not too far away from Shell's.
"But it's all good fun!" a voice beside her suddenly said, and she shrieked and jumped nearly a foot in the air.
"BOQ!" she bellowed in outrage, heart pounding like a drum.
"Oooh, sorry, Ms. Glinda," he tipped his large straw hat.
"Don't sneak up on me like that!" she complained, placing a hand over her heart.
"Sorry," he repeated, sounding sincere. Glinda took a deep breath in to calm her nerves and she accepted the Munchkin's apology. She knew he meant no harm. And he was a sweet boy, albeit a little bit too small for her taste...
"You look great in overalls, by the way," he teased her a little and even through the dark, he could see her blush.
"I haven't worn clothes like this in years!" she remarked. She fiddled with one of the straps on the heavy denim outfit and smiled despite herself as flashes of the past filled her head. She could see her childhood self, riding along on her father's tractor. She could see a slightly older version of herself learning how to ride horses with her mother. She could see her teenage self, running around the farm and occasionally helping the farmhands carrying equipment and food to and from the fields. She could see herself standing in overly-large overalls and a silly straw hat, like the one Boq was wearing. She could see herself tending to horses, cows and chickens. She could see herself sitting on hay bales and hiding in barns and carrying tools in and out of the giant shed. She, like Elphaba, had fond memories of farm life as a child, though Elphaba's seemed to be far crazier than her own. Pertha Hills may have done some stereotypically country-ish bonding things like campfires, tractor rides, singalongs, drinking under the stars and corn mazes, but no one had ever suggested a late-night Capture the Flag before.
"That's honestly all thanks to Elphaba," Boq snickered as Glinda finished reminiscing.
"Really?" Glinda was genuinely surprised.
"Yeah," Boq confirmed. "A few of the meaner townies would not stop bullying her for her skin color. They insisted she just go off into the cornfields until she got lost. No one would miss her, and no one would find her, they said." Boq paused to shake his head in disgust while Glinda grit her teeth. Even though she, too, used to make jokes about Elphaba's skin color, to hear them now made her want to scream. Elphaba's skin wasn't even corn-leaf green! It was several shades darker than that!
"But Elphaba took their words to heart," Boq continued and Glinda could hear the smile in his voice through the darkness. "She waited in the fields one day, hidden, and when they walked along, she jumped out at them dressed up like a scarecrow. Boy what a scare she gave them!" the Munchkin laughed heartily and Glinda found herself echoing the sound at the thought of it.
"They vowed revenge, however, and from that day onward, they just kept on going back and forth, scaring each other in the fields. And more and more people got involved until, well..." Boq gestured around himself and Glinda and Glinda could only give an amused, amazed smile. Boy, what a strange life Elphaba seemed to live!
But her idle chatter with Boq was interrupted when someone went whizzing by a few feet away.
"He's got the flag!" Boq bellowed suddenly, and with a surprising amount of speed for someone who was so tiny, Boq went flying after the other boy. This left Glinda to stumble along after him. That was when the real fun started.
As the boy neared the Thropp base, Glinda's side, excited cheers went up. But Boq, who was on the opposing team, refused to let up. He may have been tiny, with stubby legs to boot, but years of working in the fields gave him quite a bit of strength, speed and endurance.
"Stop him, Glinda! Stop him!" Elphaba and Nessa both commanded, pointing at Boq. They were back at the base, Elphaba defending the flag while Nessa defended their little camp, hurling rotten fruit at any enemy who came too close.
"What?" for a moment, Glinda could only gawk, confused by all the sudden chaos and noise. Farmers and Munchkins seemed to just appear right out of the corn, rushing in on all sides for the chaotic and climactic final battle.
"Stop him!" Elphaba repeated over the caterwaul and Glinda, without even thinking, grabbed a nearby ear of corn and hurled it at Boq. It hit him hard in the back and sent him falling face-first into the dirt. She felt bad, but the Thropp sisters cheered. The boy with the other team's flag continued to run safely in. Nessa increased her fruit and vegetable throwing to cover for him while more and more of the enemy ganged up on him.
"Come on, come on!" Elphaba shouted to him, and in the distance, Shell could be heard hooting and hollering with wild delight.
At last, the game ended. The Thropp side had one, and laughter and handshakes were exchanged as everyone finally started to head home, trying to nurse their wounds and dust themselves off as best they could.
"Man, what a night!" Shell and Elphaba both looked pumped. Glinda, meanwhile, was giving them all an uncertain little grin. After checking to make sure that Boq was ok (he was actually ecstatic, proud of how well Glinda had thrown that ear of corn) she had felt a little bit better about that odd little romp, but it was still so foreign to her that she wasn't quite sure how she felt.
"Welcome to the Thropp family. We were all raised in a barn," Nessa had teased her, elbowing her playfully once they finally got home. Frex was already fast asleep, which everyone else was relieved by. Although he seemed to get along fairly well with Glinda, Glinda herself didn't really like Frex. Once again, it was because of the way he treated Elphaba, even though he seemed totally unaware of how neglectful he was being. Elphaba herself paid it no mind, but Glinda still hadn't gotten used to it, and she doubted that she ever would.
But with Frex already fast asleep, that meant it was much easier for the other Thropps to get cleaned up without getting in trouble. Of course Frex knew about the late-night games, but that didn't mean he appreciated seeing his three children come home in the dead of night covered in mud, muck and fruit and vegetable goop.
Nanny was still awake, though, but she was not at all bothered by the unsightly condition that her "children" was returning in.
"Oh! Bedtime already, duckies?" she asked absentmindedly as everyone filed inside.
"Yes, ma'am," Shell replied, saluting her with a small sneer before heading off to the showers.
"Come here, Nessie dear, and let Nanny help clean you up!" Nanny murmured, seeming to have missed Shell's smart-aleck remark.
"But Nanny, I don't-" Nessa tried to protest, but Nanny fell deaf once again and grabbed the handles on Nessa's chair, humming a merry little tune. Nessa heaved a resigned sigh and let herself be wheeled away. This left Elphaba and Glinda alone together.
"Soooo, now what?" the little blond asked.
"Well, now, we clean up," Elphaba gave her a tired sigh, and Glinda suddenly remembered how dirty she was. This was going to take some time...
Almost an hour later, the two girls had suitably cleaned themselves up and were curled up in Elphaba's bed together.
"Oz, that was fun!" Elphaba sighed as Glinda nestled up into her side, fresh and clean once more, and wearing one of Elphaba's old nightgowns.
"It was definitely a very interesting day," Glinda replied with a small snort.
"Oh, come on, don't pretend that you didn't love it," Elphaba teased back, pulling Glinda closer to her until their noses were almost touching.
"Mmmm, scandalous," Glinda purred. "What ever will your father say?"
"Probably nothing, to be quite honest," Elphaba gave Glinda a dry grin. "You must remember that he doesn't care a twig for me. He only has eyes for Nessa, and occasionally Shell."
"Ah, true," despite herself, a frown stretched across Glinda's face. But Elphaba was quick to turn it back upside-down.
"That is the one good thing about being the least favorite," the green girl promised. "Since he never pays much attention to me, I can do whatever I want! Or rather... whoever, I want, without him knowing or caring!" she gave Glinda a giant wink and Glinda couldn't stop a giggle.
"Scandalous!" she repeated under her breath, and then she said no more as Elphaba pulled her in for a kiss.
AN: This weird little fever-dream of a fanfic is just me continuing to explore my headcanon that Elphaba and Glinda were both rural girls growing up. It takes a bit of book and musical canon both and I am aware that there are some inaccuracies (Elphaba didn't grow up in Munchkinland, she was only born there), but just go with it and enjoy this weird little farm fic.