↠ Alexandra Queen ↞
I give the cab driver his money and get out with my stuff. Standing there for a while I look at the door. I look into the window from where I'm standing and I can see a figure. That's all I could see since the curtains were closed.
At least I knew someone was home. It's kind of only made it harder for me to go knock. What if it's not her.
'Stop thinking about the what if's and just knock on the damn door'
My subconscious is right. So I walk up to the door and stand there. I take a deep breath and ring the doorbell. Waiting I look around paranoid.
'Knock again you idiot, if we're leaving we have to do this quick'
I ring the doorbell and wait once again. Getting impatient I knock a couple of times. I was anxious about seeing her again and I didn't want to give myself a chance to leave so she needed to open the door before I leave.
Knocking and ringing the doorbell again I wait. I soon hear footsteps making their way to the door. My heartbeat raises as they get closer.
They open the door and without looking at me they speak. "Sorry I was cooking. How may I help you?" They asking cleaning their hands on their apron. Before I can speak they look at me.
It took her a while before she realized who I was. Tears started sliding down her cheek.
"Alexandra? Is that really you?" I nod whipping the tears escaping me as well.
She pulls me into a tight hug as I hug her back. It felt so good to finally be in my mothers arms after all this time. This is the one place that I knew I wouldn't be judged. I felt safe being in her arms. She smelled like cookies.
I laugh at the smell. She pulls back and looks at me confused. "What are you laughing at?" I smile "you smell like cookies," I sniff once more "chocolate chip ones to be exact." This makes her laugh. God I missed that laugh.
"I missed you mom" I cried as I pulled her in for another hug. She let me cry into her shirt.
Once I was done I pulled away and whipped my final tears. She helped me with a smile on her face. When they were all whipped she pulled me into another hug.
"I missed you too honey" we stood like that for a while.
"I've never hug someone this much" my mom chuckled. "Same here darling."
She grabbed my hand and pulled me into the house. I willingly let her as I pull my suite case with me. We walk to the kitchen and sit at the island. That wasn't there before so I sat down hesitant. Scared to break a chair.
"Give me a second to make sure the cookies are alright. It won't take long" I nod my head okay.
I look around the house. It all looked so different. The living room looked more like a living room to then before. With more then two sofas, side tables, huge television, two tall sleeves on the side with speakers, photos and books in it. It looked more homie than we could ever make it.
From the outside this house would look nice and cozy but that was the point. My father didn't want people being nosy and knowing what was happening behind walls. So he forced my mom pull whatever money she had and buy this nice house. And so we moved here when I was still really young.
While father mistreated us in the house, the outside did its work and everyone outside never knew what happened inside these walls. The fact that John had the police in his pocket, didn't help us one bit.
It only made it worse. The one time that my father had beaten me and my sister so hard that we lost consciousness for a few days. My mom went to the police and told them. Mom didn't get much of the beaten so they just laughed in her face and asked her for the bruises or an kind of evidence.
We were her only evidence and since we couldn't get up, we couldn't go and show them. She did try when we woke up. But since she had gone in secret the first time it was hard the second. My father caught us and it only made it worse for us and my mom.
He had told us how stupid we were. That the police wouldn't help us. That had been when we found about how John had them in his pocket.
None of us ever tried again. There was no point. So while everyone looked at the house, no one saw us inside it, suffering.
I soon get pulled back into reality when I hear my mom call my name.
"Alexandra? Baby? Are you alright?" I look at back at my mom giving her a confused look.
"What?" She laughs "You spaced out for a good two minutes. What's on your mind?" I shake my head "Nothing, don't worry about it."
She understands not pressuring me and nods leaving it alone. Lifting a plate with cookies she offers me some. I gladly take one without question.
I moan at the amazing cookie taste. I grab three more making my mom shake her head and laugh at my behavior.
I chew on them, enjoying the taste. She stared at me with a smile as I ate away at her newly baked cookies.
"You aren't staying, are you?" She states out of nowhere. I looked at her. She looked so sad and it pained me. Placing the half eaten last cookie I look back at her and sigh.
"No I'm not, I'm sorry mom. Trust me I would if I was strong enough. But unfortunately I'm not. I still have years of healing to do and staying where most of my pain were created isn't going to help." She nods understanding.
I love that even after those four years that I was gone, my mom still understood me. I could clearly see the painful thought of losing her last daughter after just founding out she's alive. Just the thought of what it would do to her when she finds out Jasmine is still alive. I have to tell her, but I was scared that if I gave her hope of Jasmine coming back to her and if she didn't, that it would only hurt her more. So I kept my mouth shut.
"I understand honey, but listen to me when I say this because you have to understand this. You are not weak. Accepting that your past has hurt you and finding a way to heal yourself isn't being weak. It makes you strong for accepting it. I know telling you that you aren't weak won't make you think your not but always keep in mind what I say, you aren't weak Alexandra, you are strong, always have been and always will be." She walks over to me and gives me a hug. Tightly hugging as if she let me go that I would disappear. And in a way that's what happening. I would be disappearing once she lets me go and I walk out that door.
"I love you mom" I say into her shoulder feeling as tears slide down my cheek and soak her shirt. "I love too honey." She pulls away and wipes my tears smiling at me supportively.
"I understand that you have to do this to heal, if going away means it will help you heal then I support you fully. Take the time you need. I will always be here for you my little girl." I chuckled "I'm not a little girl anymore mom" she smiles. "Of course your not, but to me you will always be my little girl. Just don't forget about your dear old mom, okay?" I nod okay.
"Alright, best be going then? Don't want to end up convincing you to stay." We both laugh.
"Alright then, I'll just call a cab, can I borrow your phone." She nods and bring me her phone. Before I dial for one she stops me.
"Actually why don't you take your motorcycle. It has been sitting in that garage forever." I looked at her confused. "You still have it?" She nods "Yeah, I couldn't rid of it, hoping one day you'll come back for it" she smiles sadly.
"Thank you mom" I hug and give her the phone back. She walks over to the kitchen cabinets and takes out a set of keys from the kitchen cabinet and throws it at me. I chuckled at the fact that she had it behind a cereal box. Caughting the keys with one hand with ease I look down at them. I missed my baby.
"I also left everything in your room, if you need extra clothing or anything from there you can take a look. Your helmet should be in there on your bed as well." Nodding I walk up to my room with my suite case in hand.
I reach my room remembering exactly where it was. And indeed my helmet was in here. Sitting on my neatly done bed. I grab it and place my keys in it and then placing it back upside down on the bed. I walk over to my closest. I don't think anything fits me since I had grown up. My chest and butt had gotten a bit bigger after the years. So I just grab some of my shoes since that hasn't changed. Placing them on the bed I look through my things see if anything else I wanted to take.
After a while of looking I find a couple of photos, diaries and other little objects of my past that made me happy. Hoping that it may help me heal. Putting everything in a old school back bag of mine I walk over to my shoes. Grabbing only two of my most favourite pair I put them in my suitcase since that's all that fit.
I put the backpack on, take out the handle of the suitcase and use my other hand to hold my helmet. I look at it just noticing that the whole helmet was black. It look nice, no longer had two small strips on both sides of the lends. The lends wasn't clear anymore either. It was but darker, tinted from the outside. Making it hard to see from the outside in but perfectly fine from the inside out.
I walk down stairs admiring it when I reach downstairs about to ask my mom about it I see two people with her. Two men to be exact. One was familiar and the other was not.
"Ryan?" I said confused. He turns around to look at me surprised. "Alexandra? What are you doing here? I thought you were in New York? You said you wouldn't come back..."
"That's a long story that I rather not get into. What are you doing here though? I didn't know you and my mom knew each other." And with that sentence I put it together.
Ryan must of told her about me, which is why she caught on to me not sticking around. It makes sense now. I thought it was one of those weird mothers intuition. I'm not mad though, I'm actually happy he told her.
"Well I've known your mom for a while now. I know I promised that you didn't want anyone to know your whereabouts. But I just couldn't keep it from your mother. I'm really sorry, I just thought that you would be okay with her at least knowing." He lowers his head ashamed.
I place my things down on the end of the stairs and walk over to him. I pick up his chin and give him a smile.
"I'm not mad Ryan, if anything I'm happy you went against it for my mom. I never had the strength to tell you to tell because, I didn't find it fair to her that it would come out of someone else mouth but mine that I was fine. The fact that you did it because you cared about me and her makes me happy, so thank you so much Ryan" I kiss his cheek thanking him one final time. He looks into my eyes trying to find of type of lying emotion.
When he doesn't find one he sighs. "Thank god, I had been going crazy torturing myself from breaking the promise of keeping it a secret. You have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say that." He chuckled to himself.
I not only heard his chuckle but the other guy in the room. Hearing him laugh bring me back to reality. There was someone else here.
I look towards him and follow to his hand. He was holding my mothers hand in a kind and caring way. It bring a smile to my face.
"And who might you be?" I ask him and mom cheeky like. I obviously already knew but I wanted to hear them say if.
They look at each other blushing, not being able to find the words. They don't have to though because Ryan speaks up for them.
"That's your mothers fiancé" He says with the same cheeky smile. I laugh as they both blush harder. They are so adorable. Like teenagers.
I wasn't even mad, I actually had no right to be. My mom had finally found someone. Someone to take care of her. Someone to hopefully love her until the end of time. I couldn't be happier for her right now.
I put on a serious to try and mess with him and test him while I'm at it.
"So what is your busy with my mother..." waiting for him to give me his name.
"Edwin" he filled in for me.
"Edwin" I repeat.
"It better not be any funny busy. My mother is kind and selfless women. You better have and will treat her with respect and like a queen." I say professionally like, still keeping my serious face on. I was really trying not to smile or laugh for that matter.
"I promise you it's no funny busy." He looks at her "I love this women with everything I got. I will continue to treat her with the respect she deserves and like the queen that she is." He said all the while looking at my mother with the most admiring look of love in his eyes.
That's how I knew he truly loves my mom, and it would make me happier to know she's in good hands. My mother has been through hell and back. It's about time she got her happy ending.
"I'm happy for you guys, really I truly am. I'm also happy to know that I'm leaving my mother in capable hands. I will warn you though Edwin. If I see or hear that you've hurt my mom, I will bring hell down on you, got it mister?" I say sharply at him.
He nods his head underneath, you would see the dead in his eyes.
'Yeah better be scared. Hurt my mama and I will hurt you 100x worse'
"Alright then, since that's move, I should be going." I walk back to my stuff picking them up while Ryan helps me. I mumble a thanks.
"Here are some cookies for the road, I know how much you like these so have the rest. Also here's both Edwin and my number. Call from time to time" I nod and thank her for the cookies and for giving me the small paper with their numbers. Giving her and Ryan a hug I walk to the garage.
My motorcycle had a new paint job, just like the one I had drawn when I was younger. It was gold and black, no longer red and black. It looked beautiful. I look at it in awe. It wasn't long before Ryan took me out of my trance to tell me to hurry up before he made me stay.
He sounded just like my mom which only made me laugh and made him give me a confused look. I somehow find a way with Ryan to put my suite case on the motorcycle, making sure it won't fall off. I start it up hearing as the beautiful roaring sound it makes and the vibration under me.
I put on my helmet and slide the screen up. I give Edwin a final playful warning look. He raised his hands up in surrender, I shake my head laughing as does my mom and Ryan.
Sighing I look at my mom and Ryan, giving them both the same look 'thank you' and they nod. I slide the screen down over my eyes. I start up the engine a little before taking off.
'I will come back one day, I promise mom'
I say to myself as I drive off and look back one final time.
I drive off towards New York, where I would be starting over. At least trying to.
[No update next week, I'm going on vacation! I'm going to be busy so no update. Next, next week there will be. It'll be back to the regular updates.]
『 𝙳𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚟𝚘𝚝𝚎 𝚋𝚢 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚘𝚖, 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙𝚜 𝚖𝚎 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚝 』
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