Amara's POV
As we sit on the bench, Peter leans his head on my shoulder.
"Will you hate me again tomorrow?" Peter asks.
"Probably." I answer with slight sarcasm.
"But you love me." He makes a statement, rather than it being a question
I sigh. "I do."
He doesn't tell me he loves me because deep down, he knows his feelings don't go deeper than a crush.
My heart twinges at the thought of what I did out of pure selfishness; acting out on pure emotions instead of logic.
"What is this?" I ask.
"What's what?" He questions me back.
"This." I point at us.
He sits up and takes my hand in his. "Whatever you want it to be."
This is not the answer I wanted, I wanted to hear him tell me where he wanted to take this.
Every second that passes by makes me regret the hasty decision I made but not a single bone in my body regrets the actual actions.
I'm making myself sick from the way my thoughts are forming.
This is dangerous.
I'm straying from my path and it's all my fault.
There will be no us if Peter doesn't figure out what we are and where he stands in all of this.
"Peter..." I begin to say.
"Hm?"
"I have to go."
"Wait—" He tries to stop me.
But I've already got up and made my way inside.
• • •
"It took you a while but you finally brought him in." Daamir says as he pulls up a chair beside me.
"Yes, he, uh, was busy." I say, trying not to give anything away.
Daamir rolls his eyes. "He always has his tongue down some chick's throat."
I raise my brow. Daamir isn't that different either. "And you?"
"Point taken." He chuckles.
"It's nice to see the Bilal family being so charitable towards religious charities." Daamir smiles.
I look at him with confusion
"You didn't know?" He asks.
"Know what?" I look at him in confusion.
"Peter's father is Muslim and his mother doesn't practice any religion. However, his father never really practiced Islam either so you can't really consider him Muslim, maybe only by name, to be honest." Daamir tells me.
Just as everything was falling apart, it's somehow falling apart even more.
"What... what about Peter?" I ask carefully.
"He's a full atheist." Daamir sighs.
My hands go numb. The already complicated situation is so overly messy that I can't possibly dig myself out of this one.
"You're joking..." I say more to myself than him.
"His name is Peter, what did you expect?" Daamir' s tone is more of a tease than being serious.
"I just thought..." I thought the name wouldn't matter! I think in my head. "What religion do you practice?"
"The rest of the us in the group are Muslim but some of us practice more seriously than others." He answers. "Are you interviewing me because you got a crush on a Peter?" He smirks.
"Uh..." his question catches me off guard.
"Oh, come on! It's clear as day on your face when you look at him. There's no hiding it. Every time you look at him, it's as if you're watching the sun rise for the first time in your life." He laughs.
"Haha... very funny." I roll my eyes.
"I guess the whole atheist thing really makes it a big problem for you, huh... There's one piece of advice I can give you. If you're passionate enough about Islam, educate him on it. Don't force it down his throat; maybe, you know, just let him see Islam through your eyes." Daamir gives me a warm smile.
That is the most wonderful piece of advice Daamir has given.
"I didn't think you had the ability to think like this." I tease him.
"Sometimes scholar Daamir jumps out." He chuckles. "Excuse me for a moment, I think it's my time to join the boys."
• • •
"You two did what?" Zoya's tone is louder.
Dina looks like she's about to pass out.
Zoya and Beena are staring at me like I'm an extraterrestrial being from outer space.
"He's going to have to marry you now." Beena says.
"Definitely." Zoya agrees.
"100%." Dina seconds that.
I sigh. "There's multiple issues with this but the more prominent one is that he's..."
"He's what?" Dina asks.
"He's an atheist." I finally say.
Zoya gasps. "You're in shit."
"You're fucked." Beena says.
"You guys are seriously not helping." I groan.
"The Devil himself was really lurking in that backyard, eh?" Zoya sighs.
"Argh!" I yell in frustration with myself.
"I feel like you should give Daamir's idea a try. Who knows, maybe it'll work in your favour if your heart is in the right place. Insh'Allah." Zoya says in favour of the plan.
"Insh'Allah!" The two other girls say in sync.
"Or it'll just be some sad delusions of an innocent girl." I say. "Am I being delusional? Should I just cut this off now?"
"You're in pain, Amara. We can tell it's eating you up inside even though you refuse to fully show us how upset you are." Zoya caresses my hair.
Dina nods. "If you don't give this a shot, you'll regret it forever. If it doesn't work out, you'll be broken. It's risky both ways."
"Oh! I missed Isha nama'az!" Beena says.
All of us now look at her as if she's the extraterrestrial being.
"What?" I blink at her in confusion.
"You just said..." Zoya starts.
"She just said..." Dina repeats it.
"The reason why I believe in Daamir's idea so much because I've seen it work on me. It's just a completely different experience when you see so much passion in the eyes of the one you love."
"Love?" I question.
"She said love." Zoya confirms.
"She most definitely said love." Dina smirks.
"I don't know if we should be offended that we couldn't show you the light or proud that you finally found your way..." I laugh.
"I feel a little offended and hurt." Zoya pouts.
"Beena always breaking hearts, except it's ours this time." Dina sighs.
"Guys! That's not the point of this conversation." Beena says. "The point is, there's a chance this will work and there's a chance it will fall apart. You just have to take that chance."
"I'm scared..." My thoughts are in disarray.
"Of?" Beena asks.
"Getting my heart broken to the point of no return." I frown.
"That's how life works and if that's God's plan for you, then let it be." Dina reassures me.
"We'll be here to hold you, take care of you, and love you forever. Always remember that." Zoya squeezes my hand.
But the problem is, will I be able to hold myself together?
- - -
A/N: oooooo 💀
Next Update: Monday, July 22, 2019.
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