My greatest fear, my worst reality.
I want to be wanted, I need to be loved, to feel wanted.
I still hear his voice in my head, no one, no man will want you.
The words haunt me, my chest tightens, my eyes water.
You're too ugly and fat, who would ever want you. What man would ever touch you like this.
I feel his hand moving, I didn't want this. You're to love me, protect me, honor me.
Honor my wishes, we're supposed to be happy.
I loved you, cared for you, craved your attention, your love, needed your smile.
I stayed too long, gave too much, it cost me all; my security, my love, my hope.
Broke my dreams, shattered promises, lost emotions, a shell.
This mask, who am I.
Lost in my head for too long.
Can you find me.
I will save myself.