Azriel couldn't help but fiddle with his cutlery. Feyre has once said that he was easily the most well-mannered fae in the inner circle, but tonight Feyre almost certainly would not have said so. In fact, he felt like a wreck.
Despite how he tried to keep his emotions hidden, it was clear for the other members of the table to see his nerves. His shadows, normally calm, were circulating around him with alarming speed, generally seeming to be in more of a frenzy than usual.
And his eyes. Nobody could ignore his eyes: the way they seemed to flicker every time a noise was heard upstairs, or the fleeting glances he kept shooting in the direction of the doorway.
"Az dear, do calm down," Drawled Mor, who was sat opposite Az, with a wicked grin, "Your shadows are giving me motion sickness."
Mor's remark seemed to snap Azriel back to reality and he hastily dropped the fork he was playing with and cleared his throat, "Sorry." Was all he has to say, yet his shadows slowed down dramatically in response.
Cassian, seated to the right of Azriel, reassuringly gave him a nudge with his elbow, "It'll be fine. She floored you during training, I highly doubt she's going to clam up on you now."
Still, Azriel felt he would've been calmer on the battlefield, rather than sat at that table. In fact, he almost excused himself from the table when the door swung open.
As ever, Feyre looked beautiful in her emerald green gown, but Azriel's eyes slipped straight past her to the figure standing by her side.
The sight took his breath away. Eva was dressed in a deep amethyst-coloured gown with a plunging neckline that made Azriel's cheeks heat up. Her dress perfectly complimented her eyes, to the point where they almost seemed to glow. Azriel gleefully noted the twinkle in her eyes, reassuring him that she wasn't feeling scared out of her mind as he might have been if the roles were reversed.
Cerridwen had worked wonders on her hair. Now it was styled to make her look more elegant, yet the kohl lining her eyes still ensured that she looked fearsome. With her hair styled back, her pointed ears were on show so that she seemed to fit in perfectly with the rest of the inner circle.
Azriel's eyes met with Eva's and they seemed to lock on to each other. It was as if the room fell silent around them, which honestly was just as likely. "You look stunning." Azriel half-gasped.
"Thank you." Replied Eva, modestly dipping her head, yet still not breaking Azriel's gaze. Their look seemed to last forever and the room appeared to melt away around them.
Eventually, Rhysand coughed, bringing them both back to reality. Eva's gaze snapped away from Azriel's to the table of guests. Amren merely rolled her eyes and Cassian gave her a cheesy thumbs up gesture, which Eva supposed was meant to be reassuring. No matter, she still couldn't hide her reddening cheeks.
Gently, Feyre guided Eva into the room. "You can sit opposite me," Feyre smiled as she took her seat next to Rhysand and Eva took hers opposite, which she noticed was next to Azriel. As she sat down, her cheeks seemed to what even more, of that was even possible.
Once Eva was seated, Rhysand announced, "Welcome Eva, it's a pleasure that you could join us."
Eva nodded her head demurely, "Really, the pleasure is all mine."
"So nice to meet you, dear," Mor cut in, extending her hand across the table to shake Eva's hand. Mor took Eva's hand in her own and shook it vigorously, "I'm Morrigan, call me Mor. I've been dying to meet the person who's been staying in the guest bedroom for the past few days."
Eva smiled shyly, "Well, I'm just as happy to meet all of you. I'm so grateful for everything you've done for me."
"Well it's only to be as expected seeing as you're-" Mor was cut off with a jolt and she shot a glare across to Azriel sat diagonally across from her. Eva looked puzzled, but decided to let it go. After all, she didn't know the dynamic between the inner circle.
"Never-mind that," Amren interrupted, "Let's just get to the questions shall we."
Eva visibly cringed at the abrasiveness of Amren's words and Feyre rushed in to smooth things out. "Let's at least start eating first." Feyre declared and Rhysand waves his hand. Instantly, plates of food appeared on the table.
The most luxurious food Eva was used to was hand-caught hare, so upon seeing such a spread before her, Eva could have sworn that her mouth had literally watered at the sight.
"Please, tuck in." Azriel said from beside her, noticing her excitement at the mounds of food.
Eva didn't have to be told twice and gladly began piling her plate up with food. Azriel chuckled from beside her, "Cassian, it looks like Eva could give you a run for your money." Eva was too engrossed with thoughts of food to be embarrassed, and merely smiled in response.
Shortly after, the rest of the table followed Eva's lead and started to fill up their plates. Once her plate was full, Eva began to devour its contents, not realising just how hungry she truly was until the food touched her lips.
"So, Eva," began Feyre, "I heard that you took down Azriel. Pretty impressive. Where did you learn to fight like that?"
Eva swallowed her mouthful. "My father taught me how to fight. From a very young age I was told about how harsh the world could be, and so my father thought it essential that I know how to defend myself."
"It sound so like you're capable of more than just defending yourself." Mor laughed.
"I suppose so." Eva grinned, "After my father taught me the basics, I took it upon myself to become the best fighter I was able to become."
"And all that without the use of your powers." Cassian whistled, "Very impressive."
"Speaking of which," interjected Amren, leaning forwards in her chair, "Why didn't you use your powers? Why were they kept bound?"
Slowly Eva set down her fork and raised her eyes to meet Amren's. "Safety," Eva responded, "Being an Illyrian female is hard enough. Being an Illyrian female who is able to fight and is a Shadowsinger, no less, is beyond dangerous. Besides, revealing them wouldn't have just put me at risk, it would have endangered my sister too." Eva's words caught in her throat at the thought of her sister. All those years of keeping her powers hidden. And now? She'd just revealed them in front of a whole host of Illyrian males. How was she supposed to protect her sister now?
"Eva, while I haven't know you for long, as High Lord I can assure you, no Illyrian male will interfere with your family." Rhysand declared, looking at Eva as if he had read her mind.
Actually, thought Eva, that could be a possibility. Eva remembered that Rhysand was rumoured to be a highly powerful Daemati. As soon as the thought entered Eva's mind it was as if she was suddenly aware of her own head. She could feel the walls around her mind, strong against any external forces. More importantly, she could feel a starry darkness penetrating her walls, reminding her distinctly of the High Lord.
Eva met Rhysand's gaze. "Thank you, the gesture is very appreciated." Eva said politely, yet she wasn't quite finished, "But, would you please refrain from reading my mind."
Rhysand looked shocked, as did everyone else around the table. An uncomfortable silence filled the room and Eva felt herself fidget in her seat.
Feyre was the first to break the silence, "You're a Daemati?"
Shock filled Eva. When she'd felt Rhysand's presence in her mind it had felt natural, not as if she was trying to utilise any power. In fact, she was almost sure that she hadn't used any power as her energy stores were still severely depleted. Eva just shook her head in disbelief, "I-I don't know. I don't think so. It kind of just felt natural."
The High Lord and Lady looked at Eva with matching expressions of both bewilderment and curiosity and Eva felt heat rising up her neck. She couldn't help but wonder if she had overstepped her place. Yet, after a moment's pause Feyre's expression was once again replaced with a smile that put Eva's worries to rest.
"All the same," Rhysand regarded Eva, "There are still a few questions we must ask you."
The knot in Eva's stomach that had been there since she awoke seemed to tighten at the High Lord's words, but she nodded politely in agreement all the same.
At Eva's consent Rhysand began his questioning. "You say you're an Illyrian, and that is evident by your wings," Rhysand nodded towards her wings which were currently folded neatly behind her back, "And yet your ears are pointed like that of a High Fae. How is that possible?"
From the way her hair was styled, Eva knew that her ears were on display and so Rhysand's question wasn't a surprise to her. "I don't really know," Eva shrugged honestly, "When I was born the physicians were just as baffled as you are now. They claimed it was some sort of mutation. I kept them hidden because I didn't want any unnecessary attention."
Rhysand looked unconvinced but Feyre jumped in, shooting a look at Rhysand before he could open his mouth. "That is most unusual," Feyre contemplated and the others at the table murmured in agreement.
However, the warm atmosphere didn't last long. "Now onto the most pressing issue. How did you become a Shadowsinger?" At Amren's question the temperature in the room seemed to plummet and Azriel felt Eva stiffen at his side. Her hands tightly gripped her chair arms so that her knuckles went white.
Impulsively, Azriel reached over to place his hand atop Eva's. At his touch, Eva flinched, but relaxed when she realised who the hand belonged to. "You don't have to answer." Azriel said softly, subconsciously rubbing his thumb over Eva's hand.
It took all of Eva's strength not to shudder at Azriel's touch, but she forced herself to swallow and face him. "No, I'm indebted to you. Telling you is the least I can do. Besides, I've heard that talking is supposed to be good for you." She said the last part with a half-laugh.
Eva took a steadying breath and looking at the comforting smiles adorning the faces of those around the table, she began her story.
"My father was brilliant in more ways than one. He believed fiercely in equality between Illyrian males and females and he was the most loving male I've ever know. Yet his failing was always alcohol. Alcohol and gambling. Sober, he was bad enough at cards, but with alcohol in his system, he never stood a chance.
"One night my father went out for a drink with some friends, whereupon he took part in the card game. Usually, at most he lost some money, but as he played with his friends, he never lost enough money to seriously impact upon the family.
"But on this night, some other males joined in the game. One of these males, Darius was his name, was my father's sworn enemy. When my father was courting my mother, the other male had also been trying to win my mother's favour. Obviously, my father won. Since then Darius hated my father and swore that he would ruin him. Darius took the card game as the perfect opportunity to intact his revenge.
"At the time, I was still young. Young enough that I hadn't started my first bleed, but old enough that I'd started to mature and was getting looks from Illyrian males. Despite the looks, I'd never had to worry about them because my father had always been ready to defend me. Darius was one of the males who had taken interest in me, but he would never have been able to do anything about it with my father watching over me.
"Darius was an evil male. He knew that my father couldn't handle his drink, but he also knew that he would never shy away from a challenge. If he won the game, his reward was to challenge my father to a duel. Ordinarily, Darius wouldn't have stood a chance. But intoxicated, beating my father was child's play.
"Just before the duel ended Darius raised the stakes. He said that if he won the duel, his prize would be me."
Eva stopped momentarily, chocking on a sob. Next to her, Azriel had tensed. The thought of a male treating Eva like property made his blood boil and want to go on a rampage. Yet the look of deep sadness in Eva's eyes halted him and instead he just continued rubbing Eva's hand and whispered, "Take a breath. You're safe here."
Eva looked at Azriel gratefully, a small smile appearing on her face before she continued.
"I'll never know why my father agreed to the deal, but he did. Unsurprisingly, he lost the duel and was severely injured in the process. While my father was tended to by his friends who fought to save his life, Darius went to claim his reward. He arrived at my cottage to collect me. Of course, my mother resisted furiously, but a deal was a deal and ultimately there was nothing she could do.
"Darius took my back to his house where he locked me in the basement. He said that until I reached my first bleed, I was useless to him. So, until that day came I was locked away in a windowless basement, only seeing daylight once a week when he let me outside for a 'treat'."
The story was hard for everyone around the table to listen to, especially Azriel. On one hand, he could sympathise with Eva, whose experience was similar to his own. But at the same time, his more dominant emotion was rage, and it threatened to overpower his calm exterior and send him on the warpath.
Azriel didn't have time to think further about acting on his emotions because Eva continued with a shaky voice.
"I remember being locked in the darkness, with no awareness of the time of day. When I first arrived I would just sit there in the darkness and cry: wondering what I'd done to deserve such a fate.
"Most of all though, I felt lonely. Darius was the only person I came into contact with, and even that contact was brief. I started wishing for someone to come visit me, even if it was only for a short conversation.
"In the end, I didn't need anyone to come for me. I saved myself. Originally, I'd been afraid of the shadows; I felt as if the darkness was taunting me. But then I realised that the shadows weren't scary. In fact, it was as if they were calling to me."
A sigh escaped Eva's lips as she looked round at the rapt fae. "I know how this sounds. I know I sound crazy, but it's the truth. I realised that the shadows were just as lonely as me. So they became part of me.
"It was strangely easy. When they became part of me, it was as if a void which I never knew I had was filled. Now, the shadows are as much a part of me as the breath in my lungs."
Eva let out a small chuckle and hastily wiped away some tears in her eyes that were threatening to spill down her cheeks, "It's ironic really. Darius locked me in that cellar to break me. Little did he know, all he accomplished was making me stronger. In fact, the shadows were what helped me to escape in the end."
When Eva finished, a silence fell over the table and she used the cuff of her sleeve to wipe her eyes. Azriel's hand hadn't moved from atop Eva's, and in the aftermath of her story she was grateful for his reassuring touch.
"Well, fuck." Cassian whistled, effectively breaking the silence. Despite herself, Eva couldn't help but laugh. It was probably something to do with the fact that her emotions were bubbling over and she didn't know what else to do. Never the less, a moment later Eva's laughter was joined by Azriel's and then Cassian's booming laughter. Soon, the whole table was in stitches.
"What are we even laughing about?" Asked Mor through bursts of laughter.
"We're laughing," responded Eva, trying to restrain her giggles, "at how supremely fucked up the world is. Specifically Illyrian males."
"I can drink to that." Smirked Feyre, easing her glass for a toast, earning a playful nudge in the side from Rhysand.
All the same, Rhysand joined Feyre in raising his glass, announcing, "A toast to fucked up Illyrian males."
With a smile still dancing across her lips, Eva joined the others raising her glass in the air and then took a sip of the liquid-gold contents.
For a second time that evening, Eva's gaze met Azriel's. When Eva looked into his eyes she could feel herself slip away from reality. It was as if everything outside of them ceased to matter.
In his eyes Eva saw an understanding that made her heart melt a little. She supposed that to be a Shadowsinger he must also have undergone a similarly traumatic experience. Her sister was as sympathetic as she could be towards Eva, but she couldn't understand her situation. Not entirely. Not like Azriel could.
Although, she didn't just see understanding in his eyes; she saw a rage. A rage that she recognised all too well. What surprised her though, was that the rage seemed to reassure her. It didn't appear to be directed at her: rather it seemed to be for her.
Eva was reminded of how it was Azriel who had carried her to safety when she'd collapsed. This male who knew so little about her and yet was willing to risk so much by taking her to the High Lord and Lady's estate. Such compassion and care moved Eva. Aside from her sister, it had been decades since someone had shown such care for her. Instinctively, she felt her fingers wrap tightly around his hand, which was still resting on hers.
Initially, Azriel's eyes widened at the touch (just how Eva would react, she thought fondly), but almost immediately his eyes softened.
How was it possible that this male, who she'd only just met, could penetrate the armour she'd built around her heart? How could he look into the shadows she lurked in, and not recoil, but smile and join her in the darkness?
How was it that with him she felt truly home?
Home.
There it was. That word in her head. As if whispered in her ear. As if someone was talking to her through some sort of bond...
No. No.
Sharply, Eva pulled her hand from Azriel's as if she'd touched a flame. Hurt and panic flashed across Azriel's face and she immediately regretted her action. But it was too late to change it now.
Suddenly she realised that the laughter from around the table had died down and everyone was looking shocked at her and Azriel. Nobody was as shocked as Azriel though, who looked as if someone had just stabbed him. Even his shadows were frozen in time.
Having everyone's attention on her at once made Eva uncomfortable and she abruptly rose to her feet, feeling the familiar sensation of heat rising up her neck.
"Once again, thank you so much for allowing me to stay here while I recovered, and for the meal, but I must leave now, I cannot leave my sister alone for any longer." As Eva spoke she avoided the eyes of Azriel and instead spoke to Rhysand and Feyre directly.
She'd expected some sort of resistance like earlier, but instead this time Feyre replied before Rhysand had a chance, "Of course, that's understandable."
Azriel emitted a low growl which made the hair on the back of Eva's neck stand on end, which was not an entirely uncomfortable sensation.
"I'll get you your old clothes to change back into for the journey." Feyre smiled, ignoring Azriel as she rose to her feet and moved towards Eva, who nodded her head in thanks.
"Well, it's been a pleasure." Rhysand purred, winking playfully at Eva.
"I'm inclined to agree." Mor smirked, shooting a pointed look at Azriel, earning a bark of laughter from Cassian and a glare form Azriel.
"I hope to see you at the next training session?" Cassian probed when he'd stopped laughing at Azriel's expense.
Choosing to ignore Azriel's eyes, Eva nodded at Cassian, a wicked grin spreading across her face, "Sure. Maybe next time I'll get the chance to beat your ass."
That earned a laugh from all present, Cassian commenting, "I like this one."
Not ready to give up yet, Azriel spoke up, "If your energy levels still feel low then I can shadow travel with you?"
Eva was touched by the gesture, yet willed her strong resolve to hold, "thank you, but no. I think I fancy flying." She cooly replied instead, stretching out her wings behind her to emphasise her point.
Not waiting to see his reaction, Eva turned her attention back to the rest of the room. "Thank you all, I hope that I get to see again."
A murmuring of agreement was heard around the table and Eva took that as her queue to leave. Without waiting for Azriel to protest any further, she grasped Feyre by the arm and gave her a grateful smile, before the two of them swiftly exited the dining room.
"That was interesting." Amren said darkly once the dining room door had closed.
"That's one way of putting it." Cassian snorted.
"Well, that's the Shadowsinger mystery solved, but I do believe there's still much to be learnt about our new friend." Rhysand pondered, swirling his wine round in his glass which was held leisurely in his hand.
The conversation continued from there between them all, aside from Azriel, who remained silently staring at the door, as if waiting for Eva to say she'd changed her mind and return. Azriel didn't know how this female could have such an effect on him. He was the fearsome Shadowsinger and Spymaster to the High Lord. So why was it that around Eva he felt his icy resolve melt instantly?
How was it that with her, he felt home?
Word Count: 3801