My hands are sweating as they rest on my bag that's on my lap. It's not even me on the stand and yet, I feel like it is. Jane was the first of the two of us to be called to the stand and so far, I've witnessed Calvin question her the exact same way he questioned me but not as forceful. The answers she gave were given with confidence, knowledge and grace.
She is only halfway through of being cross-examined by Nadia's lawyer, Bill Artwell, when her untouchable demeanour shows a crack.
"Mrs. Madden, why did you really want Mrs. Bailey to do a session with you? I somehow doubt that it was because you cared for her and her well-being after she gave birth to your granddaughter."
"I've already told you the answer to that question. It's up to you if you wish to believe it or not," Jane tells him, her shoulders rising and falling on a shrug.
"Are you trying to tell me that if I don't like your answer, I should just learn to live with it?"
"No, I'm not. I merely said-"
"Because I won't learn to just 'live with it'. I know you're lying, Mrs. Madden. I know you are. Your lawyers know you are and you know you are."
"Mr. Artwell, if you wish to believe that, that is up to you. But if you think of the answers I have given, what-"
"I'm the one giving out the questions, Mrs. Madden. You have to answer them. That is your job."
"I'd suggest you take that comment back, Mr. Artwell, because you have seemingly forgotten what my actual job is. I have a status that is way above your pay grade and it would do you well to remember that."
Jane smirks and Mr. Artwell stares at her. She stares him down until he walks away from her with a scoff.
"Your Honour, please let the record be known that Mrs. Madden is trying to use the tactics she uses at her job to get away with the fact that she never truly accepted Mrs. Bailey as her son's girlfriend when they were together."
"That is untrue," Jane defends loudly. "I did everything to accept her as my son's girlfriend but it's hard to do so when she always dresses like a slut!"
There are gasps from those watching the proceedings as well as the jurors, and Jane hangs her head in shame. She covers her face with a hand and shakes her head. She knows she's blown her calm exterior – big time.
"No further questions, Your Honour."
The judge nods. "You may go back to your seat, Mrs. Madden."
Jane gets to her feet and walks back to where Nick is sitting a seat away from me. She's muttering things under her breath that I can't understand but I know she's cursing at herself for failing. She'll think she's failed not only herself but her son.
"Mr. Kirkland, do you wish to take a break or call your next witness?" The judge asks.
"We would like to call our next witness, Your Honour." Calvin answers, after checking with Giles and Degory if that's what they wish to do.
"Very well."
Calvin gets to his feet. "Your honour, we would like to call Miss. Kaylee Fletcher to the stand."
My eyes widen and I nod to myself.
Here goes nothing.
I get up from where I'm sitting between Jane and Jade. Jade takes my bag and holds it on her lap and flashes me a tight smile. Jane reaches out for my hand and gives it a tight squeeze, making me wince at the power behind it. I pull at the sides of my coat and walk to the stand. I catch Nadia's eye as I walk past her and she makes an inaudible noise that I know is her way of telling me that she thinks she's winning.
She's not.
I take to the stand and go through the same procedure with the bailiff that Jane went through with agreeing to tell the truth and the whole truth. He asks me to state my name which I do before telling me that I can take a seat.
Calvin clears his throat and walks slowly towards me. He turns to the side and points to Luca who is watching me closely. "Miss. Fletcher, how do you know Mr. Madden?"
"I'm his fiancée," I answer, trying my hardest to prevent the smile that's trying to form on my lips.
"And how long have you known him?"
"We used to date but broke up nine years ago. We met again in August this year and everything has just gone on from there."
Calvin nods and starts to walk around. "How would you describe your relationship with Mr. Madden?"
"Like any other relationship; it has its ups and downs."
"Have you had any contact with him over the nine years you have been apart?"
"No."
"And at what point since August did you become aware that he had a daughter?"
"About a month or so after we met again."
"So that would be around early September, yes?"
"Yes," I confirm.
"And from your experience, how would you say his relationship is with his daughter?"
"From what I can tell, they have a great relationship."
"Can you give us some examples of the kind of things they do?"
"He takes her on days out. He makes her meals when he can. He makes sure she has everything she needs. He lets her spend time with her grandparents. He's given her the kind of life a child her age should have which is the same one we had growing up."
"A normal upbringing despite his fame and fortune?"
"Yes."
"So you would say he's a good father despite being a single father?"
"I would, yes."
"I see." Calvin walks back to the table his colleagues and Luca are sitting at. He looks down at some of the papers on the table before looking back at me. "Miss. Fletcher, when were you made aware of who the mother of Mr. Madden's daughter was?"
"After he gave me time to allow the revelation to sink in," I answer, looking at Luca directly.
The look in his eyes softens at my answer. It wasn't a planned time to let the news sink in. I just took the time because I needed to let things make sense. I needed time to know if I still wanted Luca as much as I always did despite the curveball he hit me with.
"How did that make you feel?" Calvin delicately asks.
I look down at my clasped hands and shrug. "I . . . I was surprised."
"And why is that?"
"Luca was always a man of tradition," I explain before unclasping my fingers. I turn my engagement ring around on my finger with my thumb and index finger of my right hand. "He likes old fashioned traditions. He always said that he would like to be married before having any kids and that when the time came to have children, he would know that they'd be with the person he loved most in the world."
"So you weren't angry after finding out that he not only had a child out of wedlock but at the fact that he had a child at all?"
"I wasn't angry, no. As I said, I was surprised considering how much of a traditionalist he is. It shocked me but I got over it. No one is the same person as they were nearly ten years ago."
"And we know you're telling us that as a fact because neither you nor Mr. Madden are the same people you once were when you were first together."
"No," I agree, "we're not."
"Because now Mr. Madden is a well-known businessman and yet, that hasn't fazed you. You're not scared to be with him and you haven't given up anything in your life for him. You still have your job as an event planner from what I'm told and you haven't once taken advantage of his wealth like others in your position may do."
I keep silent.
Calvin looks to the floor and walks back and forth in front of me again. "Going back to when you found out that Mr. Madden had a daughter out of wedlock. How did you feel when you heard that his ex walked away from their daughter?"
"Honestly?" I ask to which Calvin nods. "A little angry."
"So you weren't angry at hearing Mr. Madden had a child out of wedlock but you were angry at hearing the child's mother had freely walked away from her own child? Why is that?"
"I couldn't believe that someone would do that to their own child. More often than not, you hear of fathers walking out on families but never the mothers. I was both surprised and angry after hearing what she did."
"Could you ever do something like that? If you were in Nadia's shoes and were pregnant with Mr. Madden's child, and carried that child inside of you for nine months then gave birth, all the while not be in a relationship with him, could you have walked away from the child?"
I stop turning my engagement ring and press my right hand firmly against my belly. I stay silent for a moment, taking in Calvin's words before my fingers run across my belly out of sight from all the eyes watching me closely. I don't waste time answering the question because I know it will seem like I'm on Nadia's side if I did. "No, I couldn't."
Calvin raises a single brow. "Do you think a mother truly could walk away if they were in that situation?"
"Not after everything they'd already been through to bring that child into the world, no."
"Thank you, Miss. Fletcher." Calvin gives me a tight nod then walks back to his chair. "No further questions, Your Honour."
"Mr. Artwell, any questions for the witness?" Judge Rae asks.
"I do, Your Honour." Bill is quick to his feet and buttons up his dark grey suit jacket as he walks round to the front of the table he's seated at.
Here we go.
"Miss. Fletcher, you said there that you don't think a mother could truly walk away from a child they have carried inside of them for nine months. Am I right?"
I swallow hard. "Yes."
"But what I don't understand is how you can pass judgement on that subject when you don't have any kids of your own."
My fingers stop moving and I glare at him.
Cheeky bastard.
"How can a woman who clearly doesn't have any kids and who isn't even pregnant, pass judgment on whether or not a mother can walk away from her child?"
"Objection, Your Honour," Degory interjects. "Whether or not Miss. Fletcher is with child or has any children has nothing to do with this case."
"Mr. Artwell, I am going to remind you that you have to ask questions to Miss. Fletcher. Don't judge her on her parental status," Judge Rae explains.
Bill nods and holds his hands up as if to apologise. "Miss. Fletcher, you stated that you didn't contact Mr. Madden during the nine years you were apart."
"Yes."
"Are you confident with that answer?"
I frown. "Yes."
Bill picks up a remote control from the table and holds it up for people to see. "Your Honour, please let it be known that I am about to play a series of voicemails for the court as evidence to be marked as exhibit one."
"Any objections from the defence?" Judge Rae asks.
"No, Your Honour." Giles answers.
"Very well. The voicemails will be admitted as exhibit one. Continue, Mr. Artwell."
"The voicemails you are about to hear are messages Miss. Fletcher has left on Mr. Madden's mobile phone over the nine years she stated that she hasn't contacted him during."
He presses play and I hold my breath as the first message starts, the memories coming back to me from that time.
"Luca, I know we said we wouldn't contact each other but I just want to know why. Why did you end our relationship the way you did? Why did you have to follow your mum and dad to America? You're old enough to be on your own. We could have had the life we spoke about. Just tell me why."
*Beep*
"Luca, I want you to know that you broke me. You have actually broken me. You have hurt me in ways I never thought you would. You have ripped out a part of me that was once consumed by you that I don't think will ever fully heal. I just wanted you to know that."
*Beep*
"Luca, I told Allison more of what happened in regards to our relationship ending. I told her what was said and how it ended. She's furious with you. She wants to make you feel the same amount of pain as I'm feeling but I know you won't be feeling anything close to that. You'll be living it up in America as if nothing happened back here. Like I was nothing to you. I'd say I hate you but I can't because I still love you. I'll always love you."
*Beep*
"Luca, if you can tell me one thing, one final thing, will you? Can you? Just answer me this one question and I'll stop leaving you these messages. Was your mum behind our separation? I just want you to answer that one question and I'll leave you alone. I'll give you some time to think about that answer but I need to know the answer to it."
*Beep*
"Judging by the lack of response, I must be right. Your mum was the real reason we broke up. I knew she would one-day cause destruction to a relationship but I never thought it would be ours. I thought we were stronger than that. I thought you were stronger than that. I guess your nothing but her puppet while she pulls the strings."
*Beep*
"I hate you, Luca. I never thought I'd say those words but I do. Now that I know the truth, I hate you. I never want to hear or see you again for as long as I live. Goodbye."
*Beep*
"It's been a while and I know I said I don't want to hear from you again but that was a lie. I thought I was over you but I'm not. I've lasted a total of three months without attempting to call or text you. Three. Whole. Months. God, I'm weak. I thought I could kid myself into thinking I was over you if I got angry at you but I can't. I just can't. It's too hard to do. I love you, Luca. I really truly love you."
*Beep*
"God, I'm so drunk and I don't give a fuck if I'm leaving you this message because you need to know something. I found someone new and he's ten times the better man than you'll ever be. I've been dating him for a little under four months now and he treats me with nothing but respect. More than what you treated me with one the day you broke my heart."
*Beep*
"Luca, I . . . I don't know why I'm even calling you on this number. Most likely you've gotten rid of it by now. However, I'm still going to leave the message. My dad had a heart attack earlier and I need someone to talk to. I know I have my family and Allison I could talk to but they . . . they're not you. I need someone to talk to. I want to talk to you. Please."
*Beep*
"Luca, this will be the last message I leave for you and I mean it this time. I need to let go of the past and focus on the future. After what happened with my dad, I realise that I've been holding on to the thought that you'll one day come back into my life and we'll pick up where we left off. I know that won't happen. I've always known that but I was too blind to actually see it. But I'm letting you go now. I never gave up on you until now but I have to. Things will never be the same as they once were and I know that now. It's just a step I have to take."
*Beep*
"You'll always have a special place in my heart, Luca Madden. If we one-day meet again, I hope we're both happy. Just know that you'll always be my first true love. I love you, Luca."
*Beep*
The messages stop playing and I wipe away my tears with my fingers. I rub away the mascara smudges that are on my fingers before looking up at Bill who is watching me closely.
"Care to explain, Miss. Fletcher?" Bill presses.
I sniff and nod. "I was heartbroken during the first . . . what . . . eight messages I think it was that you played. I needed answers but at the same time, I was clutching at straws. I was clinging to the hope that he would answer the phone at least once so I could get answers. That's all I wanted because nothing made sense."
"And what about the message you left after your father had a heart attack? Why did you contact him about that?"
"I wanted someone to talk to," I answer.
"And you couldn't have spoken to someone that was with you at home? A family member or a friend?"
"I needed someone to speak to who wasn't related to me but who knew me well enough to simply listen to me."
"And Mr. Madden would have been the one who would have done that?"
"Yes."
"But you weren't together," he points out.
"I know we weren't."
"And he didn't answer your first messages so what made you think he'd answer it that time?"
"I-"
"Why would a man who had broken up with you want to talk to you? Why would you cling onto the hope that he would answer the phone to you one of the times you called? Why on this earth would he have wasted his time on you?"
"I-"
"You were nothing to him then and you won't be anything to him when he decides to leave you when you become nothing but a hindrance. You are nothing but a broke, attention-seeking ex-girlfriend that as soon as you found out how successful your ex was, you wanted a piece of the action."
"I'm not," I mutter, shaking my head. I blink rapidly, trying to stop my tears from falling once again. I know he's just doing his job but his words are cutting deeper into me than what Calvin's words did last night when he was questioning me. "I'm not."
"You're lying to me, Miss. Fletcher. I know you are."
"I'm not," I repeat.
"Then why are you wearing a Cartier necklace around your neck that would have no doubt cost Mr. Madden thousands of dollars?"
I refrain from moving a hand to touch the necklace that hasn't left my neck since Luca put it on. "I-"
"Are you just with Luca Madden for his money?"
"I-" I shake my head. "N-"
"Or are you just a gold digger?"
"Objection, Your Honour!" All three of Luca's lawyers shout at the same time.
"Your Honour, Mr. Artwell is asking leading questions." Giles states.
"Mr. Artwell, please refrain from asking leading questions," Judge Rae tells Nadia's lawyer.
"Sorry, Your Honour. I have one final question for Miss. Fletcher." Bill walks to stand in front of me and stares intensely. "If you truly loved Luca Madden as you have claimed to in those messages, why did you give up so easily on him? Why didn't you try to prevent him from leaving?"
I breathe deeply, trying to prevent myself from being sick on the spot. "Because the words he said when we broke up cut me to the core. It came out of nowhere and I was left feeling numb, upset and angry."
"No further questions, Your Honour."
Bill walks back to his seat and Nadia grins. It's a sickening grin and I have to look away from her because I am actually going to be sick. I cover my mouth with my hand and lower my head.
"Your Honour, I think it's time for a break," Giles requests.
I look at him. He has a look of concern on his face as he watches me closely, waiting for the judge to agree. I don't know if Judge Rae is looking at me but I can feel her eyes on me from my side. I can faintly see her nod in agreement.
"Court will adjourn for lunch. You may go back to your seat, Miss. Fletcher."
I nod and move back to my seat as quickly as I can. I've just sat down when I feel myself starting to burn up. I fan my face with my hand and Jade leans in closer to me.
"You okay?" She queries.
"I feel sick," I tell her.
"Getting questioned by that prick will do that to you," Jane comments.
I glance at Luca to find him looking back at me.
"You okay?" He mouths.
I shake my head.
No, I'm not okay. I'm far from being okay.