The next two days went by very quickly Sara met Aimee at the barn on Saturday, and they loaded up Jag and Red The girls headed out, with Josh, Matt, Mike and Ian riding with the hands to the rodeo. when they arrived they unpacked and prepared for the show, the rough-stock had arrived at the arena the night before. Saturday Sara raced in two heats, and getting a second and third place respectively Sara and Aimee went into the dash for cash well on Sunday. Both horses were well rested and ready to race on Sunday, Sara pulled a first place finish out of the hat with Aimee placing third. The girls settled the horses in to the trailer for the trip home, Willy would be hauling the stock back to the ranch and then returning for the dance in the evening.
Sara and Aimee grabbed their bags and headed over to the stands to watch the rest of the show.as they reached the stands Sara and Aimee moved to Join Josh and the guys.
"You guys kept busy today I gather?" Sara looked at the guys, each of them was sitting on a giant plush toy, she smirked at them. "Who'd you steal them from?"
"We won them. at the midway. because we rock." Ian looked at her... the guys all puffed up.
"Well this is Aimee, my best friend. Aimee this is Ian, Matt, Josh, and Mike... they're staying in the bunkhouse." Sara pointed at each other guys respectively and introduced them to her best friend.
"Nice to meet you." Each of the guys stood and shook Aimee's hand. Matt shoved his huge plush teddy bear over and Aimee took a seat between him and Mike.
"So you guy are the musicians? what do you think of our little paradise?" Aimee smiled at Matt.
"It's so different from anything we've ever done, I love the lay back attitude." Mike leaned forward bracing his forearms on his knees.
"Yeah, we pretty much keep it low, Dd you get to watch many of the events?" Aimee pushed her hand though her wavy chestnut hair.
"We saw you guys running the barrels that was pretty cool." Ian bubbled taking a handful of popcorn and shoving it into his mouth.
"Hey Sara, want to share a leg?" Josh moved over on the plush elephant he was sitting on and exposed one of it's thick grey legs.
"Sure." Sara smiled and plopped down on the elephant's leg.
"Congratulations on your win." He leaned back onto the elephant's bulbous head and grinned at her. His blue eyes sparkling.
"You always look like your either going to do something bad, or already have and I just haven't figured it out yet." Sara poked his arm. "And Thanks, I'm sure can find something to do with the money."
"Maybe I am planning something, Or maybe you just wish I was planning something." Josh wriggled his eyebrows and flicked his tongue ring on his teeth.
"Don't be a pig." Sara slapped his arm and giggled her copper skin flushing.
"Look Sara, there's Bruce." Aimee pointed to the ring. She glanced over at Her friend, Sara was blushing and giggling. Aimee raised and eyebrow at her, Sara didn't ever blush, and she definitely did not giggle.
Bruce rode in on a bay gelding, he held his pigging string between his teeth. he manoeuvred the thick horse into the chute. backing the gelding up, they watched as he nodded and shot out of the chute just after the calf. The horse was flat out, and the hazing horse ran beside the calf and pushed it towards Bruce's horse, Bruce swung his rope and dropped a neat loop around the calf's neck, his horse slipped his hind-end into the soft dirt of the arena and stopped. Bruce was off the horse before it had come to a complete stop and at the calf, he picked it up and dropped it onto it's side, then he picked up three legs and looped twice, tying them together. throwing his hands up he signaled time and walked back to his horse.
Sara looked at the dirt on the toe of her boots. What was she doing, flirting with someone she barely knew, and she hadn't even so much as spoken to Bruce since Thursday. "I got to go." Sara stood up without looking at anyone and made her way down the stands.
"Sara!" Josh called after her. "Where are you off too?"
"I have to go and get something to wear tonight." She didn't look back.
"All right I guess we'll see you there then." Josh shrugged looking back at the arena.
"Sara! I'll come with you."Aimee jumped up and headed after her friend.
Aimee fell into step beside her friend, together they walked in silence towards the truck. Aimee spoke as they shut the doors to the truck.
"So what was that?" Aimee turned on her friend.
"What?" Sara put the key in the ignition. Turning the truck on she looked over at Aimee.
"Oh I don't know, all the blushing and eye batting, what you like that guy?" Aimee slipped her seat belt on and smiled at Sara.
"I was not Eye batting." Sara pulled the truck out of the lot.
"Yes you were, and you didn't stay to see Bruce, what's going on Sar?" Aimee glanced at her friend.
"Nothing." Sara answered quickly.
"Something wrong with you and Bruce?" Aimee looked over at Sara. "I've known you for a long time Sar, something is not right."
"Things are... well... they aren't right." Sara reached into her shirt pocket and pulled out her smokes, she put one into her mouth and lit it.
"So your done, with Bruce?"
"No... yes... No... God Aimee I don't know, Things have been wrong for awhile, and they just seem to be getting worse. You didn't hear about Thursday?" Sara dragged on her smoke, hitting the signal, she pulled onto the road.
"No, I didn't hear about Thursday." Aimee turned in her seat hearing the tension in her friend's voice. "What happened on Thursday, I know you picked up those hotties from the airport." Aimee wriggled her eyebrows.
"Nothing happened with them. They fit really well into ranch life, and seem like genuine nice guys. It's Bruce... you know what... I really don't know what's going on with him... so I better not say anything until I know for sure." Sara ashed out the window and took another right turn.
"Sara, please tell me what's going on... your making me nervous... I know I have been gone for a while but I feel like something huge is going on and I can't support you unless I know." Aimee reached over and laid her hand on Sara's arm.
Sara glanced over at her friend as she pulled into the store parking lot. "Okay... I drove the guys around the night they went to the Spur, And I saw Bruce... he was out with Bonnie..." She tucked the truck into a space.
"Okay... well he could have just been taking her out, they have been hanging out for a long time... almost as long as you guys have been together." Aimee ran her hands over her legs.
"No. He kissed her. I saw it... So did all the guys." Sara sighed and tossed her dead smoke out of the window. She looked over at Aimee. She couldn't meet her her friend's eyes. Sara felt shame bubble up into her chest. She had always thought Her and Bruce were solid, the thought that he would cheat on her after everything, burned her.
"Are you sure? Bruce doesn't seem like a cheater." Aimee furrowed her brow.
"Yeah, He doesn't seem like a lot of things... The more I learn about him... the less sure of us I am." Sara pushed open her door and hopped onto the concrete.
"Well...Everyone makes mistakes... Maybe he just kissed her. and that's all. you never know unless you know the whole context leading into the kiss." Aimee straightened her top. "Is that the big issue... he kissed someone?" Aimee made her way over to walk beside Sara.
"Never mind, I don't really want to talk about this anymore. I'll let you know when I know more." Sara shook her head softly. Aimee had been another person who had always been Gun-hoe about Her and Bruce. She had always Beamed about how perfect he was. Honestly, Sara thought, take away the temper... and now the alleged cheating he would be perfect. Bruce was handsome, strong, charming, and when Sara thought about him, he looked like the perfect match. But what others saw to be assets, behind closed doors, scared Sara.
"Okay. well if you want to talk, I'm only a call away."Aimee rubbed her friends shoulder, knowing that Sara would not call on her to talk about her relationship. Aimee and Sara had been friends for more years than either could remember, when Aimee had moved to the area at six, they had become close at school. Aimee had practically lived with the Fernandaz family, growing up with Sara and her brother, they didn't seem like friends, more like siblings. When Samuel had died, Aimee had been there, and again when Maria had joined her husband. Together Aimee and Sara had faced more than most friends had. Aimee knew that unless Sara wanted to talk about it, they never would. Sighing in resignation, Aimee followed Sara into the store to pick out an outfit for the dance tonight.
The girls shopped and then headed back to the Rodeo grounds to change and prepare, stopping on the way they grabbed dinner. It was close to eight pm when they pulled the dirty truck back into the parking lot beside the other ranch trucks. they headed directly over to the washrooms to change into the clothes that Aimee had picked. Sara was in a red summer dress, it fell just above her knee, while Aimee wore a beautiful mid calf length summer dress the color of the sky. they both had their hair pulled up, Aimee's into a loose braid and Sara had put hers into a bun on the nape of her neck.
"Is William waiting for you?"
"He is. Oh Sara he is so awesome... a real gentleman." Aimee beamed at her.
"You deserve a great guy. He better treat you right."Sara looked over at Aimee.
"So do you Sara." Aimee looked at her Best friend.
"It's okay Aimee, We're going to be fine." Sara brushed her friend's concern off. Even as she said the words she wasn't sure she wanted to work things out with Bruce.
"You ready? "Aimee smiled at her friend as she applied her eye liner.
"Yup." Sara smoothed some lip chap on her lips and smiled back.
Together the girls walked towards the music that was already spilling from the hall. Sara took a deep breath before she entered. The band had not started playing yet, the dance floor was filled with people milling to the sound of the jukebox. The girls made their way to the bar and ordered their drinks. Picking out a table they settled in and chatted.
Aimee was pulled up on the dance floor by William, He spun her around and they were laughing and joking. Sara smiled, they looked so right together, he held her close. The dancers seemed to part around them as they danced. Nursing her drink Sara jumped when Josh and Matt slid into the seats beside her.
"So you hide here while Aimee dances? I see you made it in before the Rain." Matt joked. He was wearing blue jeans and a white v neck. His hair was messy and wet from the rain.
"we've been here for a while, honestly, not many people ask me to dance... " Sara sipped the Rye and Coke.
"Why is that?" Matt leaned in.
"Well... I'm kinda shit at dancing, I don't like to follow. And I don't really care for people." Sara smiled. Matt flopped back into his seat.
"This Reminds me of school dances." Josh laughed motioning over to Mike and Ian as they jumped around with Marcus and the other hands.
"You had School dances like this?" Sara grinned as an old man hobbled by with a huge hat on.
"Well... Slightly less aromatic." Josh held his nose and smiled.
"There is a slight aroma... I guess." Sara glanced between the two guys. "Okay, what are you up too?" Sara laughed... they looked so guilty.
"Nothing! " They both said together. "I got to go see what the guys are up too." Matt pushed back from the table and smiled at the two of them.
"So were alone now..." Josh smiled and wiggled his brows.
"Mr.Ramsay, are trying to flirt with me?" Sara blushed.
"Well you look amazing tonight... I would be a fool to not at least try." Josh leaned back and took a draw on his straw.
"Well I am flattered but I am in a committed relationship sir... " Sara smiled at him feeling her confidence soar. "And you look good yourself tonight." Josh was dress in a pair of dark tight jeans, with a black vest over a white t-shirt. His hair was pulled down over one eye. It was a style Sara was not used to seeing around these parts.
"Thanks... " Josh's voice trailed off, with the scene from the Thursday night at the Spur hanging between them. He leaned in close when he spoke,so she could hear him over the music, breathing in the light scent of her perfume. He felt his stomach flutter.
"I know what your thinking." Sara looked into Josh's eyes. They were soft and looking at them she couldn't help but think of cornflowers. Her breathing deepened at the closeness. She could smell his fresh scent and as their eyes met he grinned lopsidedly at her and she felt the air leave her.
"Do you. That's funny because I don't always know what I'm thinking. but I think your probably right this time. What is it about him Sara?" Josh was enjoying the conversation with Sara, her eyes sparkled and her skin was glowing. She really looked beautiful. He found himself wondering what it would be like to hold her hand, as she stirred her drink absentmindedly. The dress she was wearing fit her perfectly, her honey skin flushed as he spoke with her. When someone cleared their throat. Josh turned and blushed realising it was her Fiancee Bruce.
"Sara. I'd like to talk to you." Bruce squared his shoulders. He was tall, and his muscles bunched under his tight snap down shirt. He wiped his hands on his ripped jeans and tucked his thumb into his belt buckle.
"Okay. Excuse us Josh." Sara looked at the ground and glanced over into Josh's eyes as she gathered herself and stood to leave.
"I'll be right here. If you need me." Josh mumbled. Casting a dark look over his shoulder at Bruce.
"I don't think you'll be needed Rockstar."Bruce winked at him cockily. He placed his hand around Sara's waist as he guided her towards the door.
Sara flinched slightly as Bruce lead her out of the building. the rain had stopped and it was cool. They walked side by side on the gravel path. her breath quickened as Bruce slowed his pace and turned to face her.
"So. I'd like to know what's going on Sarbear." He touched her arm and turned her to face him.
"Well, To be honest Bruce, I'm wondering the same thing." She looked at the ground, the confidence she had felt earlier gone.
"What do you mean Babe?" Bruce touched her cheek and she pulled away ever so slightly.
"I saw you on Thursday." Sara said looking up at him.
"What do you mean you saw me on Thursday?" Bruce's eyes grew dark.
"Well I went to the Rusty Spur to pick up the guys... Actually, No, I don't care Bruce, I was in the middle of something, I'm going to get back inside." Sara threw her hands up and turned away from him. walking down the pathway towards the arena. the wind picked up and rain started to sprinkle.
"I knew it!" She heard Bruce stalking up behind her. "You want to sleep with someone else... what am I not enough for you?" .
"I have never cheated on you, I have always been faithful." Sara stopped and looked up at him, her eyes filling with tears.
"Well... I don't know what you want from me? I mean if you aren't going to put out. Then I am going to get it from someone else." He leaned back against the bark of a thick oak tree.
"W-what!" Sara's eyes opened wide in shock. "You admit to... D-did you sleep with her?"
"D-did you sleep with her..." Bruce mocked. His eyes were cold. "Of course I slept with her Sara, she's beautiful. But hey..." his body softened. "I came back to you right babe?" he reached out and took a hold of her hips.
"No... Bruce. Let go, I can't... I don't know what to say." Sara pushed against his chest.
"What do you have to say, you can't think that after all these years, I have only ever been with you..." He grinned at her, but meeting her eyes, his grin fell. "Oh... You... Really! Oh babe, No, there is no way you could ever keep a man satisfied." He pulled her in and kissed her neck.
"Let me go." Sara pulled out of his grip.
"I don't See what I did with Bonnie as cheating babe. It was just sex." Bruce looked at her, his face reddening.
"Not cheating! Does this mean I can go and have sex with anyone I want?" Sara fumed, her temper smoldering.
"No." Bruce leveled a cold stare on Sara. "We have been over this before. You are Mine. Simple as that.
"Well, I don't think you should do that to me again." Sara looked at the ground, not sure where to go with this conversation, but not wanting it to end the way all the others had.
"Well I don't think you should be telling me what I can and can't do." Bruce looked at her. Curling his lip up.
"I can't be with someone who is not going to be faithful." Sara turned from him and tucked a stray hair behind her ear.
"Why not, your parents did it. What are you better than your parents now?"
"No! I'm not better than my parents, I just never thought you would be sleeping with someone else. " Sara felt the tears drift down her cheeks and swiped at them.
"Your not leaving me Sara, We already had this discussion, and it didn't end well... If you don't remember." Bruce closed his hand around Sara's arm.
"Ouch Bruce... I remember. I know how you feel about this. But I don't think I can Do this." Sara tried to free her arm.
"What?" Bruce tightened his grip on her arm and pushed her backwards, almost dragging her towards the barns.
"No! I have been doing a lot of thinking. " Sara tugged her arm out of his hand violently. "And, I don't want to do this anymore, we have not been okay for a while now Bruce,and something needs to stop , or I can't... I can't be with you anymore." She found the words were spilling out of her mouth before she even realised what she was saying.
Bruce looked at Sara, his eyes wide with shock. "Are you trying to break it off with me?" He grinned but the smile did not touch his eyes.
"I'm trying to save myself, don't you see that this is not healthy?" Sara turned and started to walk away.
She heard him coming behind her and started to run before he reached her. His fingers tangled in the bun at the base of her neck and he pulled her off balance.
"Your not going anywhere, you listen to me. I have told you before that this... us... we are not going to end simply because you can't be a good fiancee. If you didn't do everything in your power to piss me off or tune me out, we would be fine."
"Bruce, your hurting me! Let go." Sara struggled.
"Have you ever thought that by being cold, like you are all the time, your hurting me." Bruce pushed her and she stumbled back.
"I am not the one with the issue Bruce."Sara started but his hand connected with the side of her face and she stopped.
"You are the only one with an issue Sara! You ever wonder why your brother would rather be in a war zone than here. It's because of you."
Sara stopped, Bruce's words hurting her far worse than anything he had ever done. She breathed deep and tried to hold back the tears.
"That was cruel Bruce. And Regardless of why Zeke decided to take another tour, What you are saying, and how your acting is not going to make me stay."
"Sara this is just a struggle we are having, struggles will just make us stronger." Bruce reached out to her.
"No, Bruce, cheating and lying aren't struggles, they're reasons to break up." Sara straightened her shoulders. " And not only are you cheating on my, but your abusive Bruce, you need to get help, And I'm not going to be the one to make sure you get it. You can be with anyone you want to now, because I'm sorry, you won't be with me." She straightened her rumpled dress, and smoothed away the tears on her cheeks.
"You will not leave me Sara." Bruce's voice lowered dangerously.
"That's right, your leaving. I'll pack up your stuff when I get home, After that, I don't want to hear from you again." She met his eyes with the last shred of defiance she had left. She was sure in her heart that they were over, the only thing she was unsure of now, was why she had waited so long to do this.
Bruce exploded, Surging forward he hit her hard in the mouth, Sara spun and stumbled. His full weight fell on her and he hit her in the ribs again and again. Sara brought her arms up to defend her face. Her heart pounding in her chest. She didn't hear the people running up behind them, but felt the weight as it was lifted off of her.
She scrambled to her feet and bolted down the path, running as hard as she could, not looking back. As her feet pounded the ground, she became aware that someone was running after her. Without thinking she ran harder, fear bubbling up inside her. Sara ran into the Arena that she had ridden in earlier, but the sand footing had turned thick and she stumble falling to her knees, she struggled to get back up, hearing footsteps closing in. she panicked and began to sob. Sinking into the mud, she pulled her knees up to her chest and allowed the tears to come. She heard the footsteps stop behind her.
"Come here." Glancing up she saw Josh drop to his knees in the mud and felt his arms wrap his arms around her. Red with embarrassment, she struggled, but found she had no strength left, giving up she froze. He pulled her in tight and rocked back and forth with her. As he rocked her she felt something inside release, She started to shake and tremble.
"It's okay." He murmered into her hair. the rain hitting them as they rocked.
"No." Sara sobbed. "No. No. No." She repeated feeling like she was caught on that one word. She buried her face into Josh's chest. gripping his vest.
They sat like that for about ten minutes as Sara sobbed and trembled, slowly she regained her composure and settled her heart. Sighing she looked up at Josh, his blue eyes, his blue eyes were stormy.
"I'm Sorry." Sara whispered in a shaky voice.
"What on earth are you sorry for Sara?" Josh's jaw was clenching and she could see that mud had splashed up onto his white shirt, they were both drenched with the rain.
"Your supposed to be here relaxing, not dealing with my stupidity." She pushed back from him and stood up on shaky legs, the muddy dress clinging to her curves. Josh stood up behind her.
"You've been through a lot Sara." Josh put a hand on her shoulder and cringed as she jumped.
"You know, I'll probably go back to him." Sara whispered.
"What! after tonight?" Josh stepped up beside her as she stumbled.
"It's not new, Bruce and I have been going like this for years, Honestly, I've never known any other way. I told you before. It's what I know, I wasn't lying" Sara felt the tears start again.
"It may be what you know, But it's not what you deserve." Josh looked down at her as she stopped.
"My father died in this arena." Sara turned and looked towards the bucking chutes.
"I remember watching the whole thing." Rubbing her feet into the sand she looked over to him. He was standing beside her silently, his eyes had followed hers to the chutes. Sara continued.
" Samual Fernandaz could do no wrong. I hated him sometimes. He would always come home drunk, when he came home. I was the laughing stock of my school for years, because even the kids knew where he went when he was drunk. He would be in the arms of some woman, while my mother waited for him. In her eyes, he hung the moon and the stars. Hell it was like that for a lot of people around here. I watched him die."
Sara went back to the arena the day her father died. Josh stood next to her listening without saying a word.
"He drew Windbreaker, a bull he had bred and sold as a three year old. I remember him kissing Mama just before he got on that bull. I remember everything, When Windbreaker broke out of the chute, Papa sat him for all of three seconds, before the bull threw his big head up and hit Papa. He was knocked out and limp, when the bull went into a spin, Papa fell onto the ground, and it looked like the rodeo clowns got the bull's attention, he turned and headed for the gate, but when papa came to, he started trying to move, Windbreaker caught sight of his movement and went to him." Sara shuddered from the rain and the memory. "He hit him, I can remember the crowd gasping, I sat there with Zeke, Not saying anything. I remember Zeke repeating the word No, over and over. And the sound of the bull as he crushed the life out of our little family. He was dead by the time they got the bull off of him. There wasn't any hope. I fought the Rodeo commission at the age of eighteen, they wanted to put Windbreaker down. It seemed horrible to kill him for something he was bred to be. The Three Eights bought Windbreaker, he's still on the ranch. Mama killed herself three months later." Sara looked over at Josh.
"Shit." He mumbled.
"Ezekial stayed with me until we were nineteen, about three months. Then he joined the Marine Corps. I have only seen him three times in the last six years. Bruce was right, I drove him away, I hated the fact he enlisted. I needed him Josh. I needed him to be here, and he hasn't been. Just like Papa. I have been on my own for so long, and I always thought I could depend on Bruce, As stupid as that sounds. He is the only man who has not gone away. He's been the only one that fights for me. Like I matter." Sara started to cry again and Josh moved over and pulled her into his arms. She buried her face into his shirt and breathed in the scent of him and rain.
"It doesn't sound stupid Sara, everyone needs someone. And you have been through a lot, But Bruce is not a man, and while may have fought for you, from what I hear, most of that time he was fighting you. And you deserve better than that." He looked own at her, she was so hurt.
"I'm not so sure." Sara sniffed.
Moving his hands he rubbed her back, stopping when she flinched.
"I'm an idiot, Sara where are you hurt?" Josh pushed her back gently and took her chin between is forefinger and thumb, softly brushing the mud away, he grimaced at the bruise that was softening her left eye, and the cut on her lower lip.
"My pride. I can't believe I let this happen in front of all those people."
"No, Physically, and you did not LET this happen. this was DONE to you. this is not your fault. None of this is your fault." Josh stated passionately. he felt the urge to protect Sara, as she looked up at him. He could see how vulnerable she was, and he couldn't think of anything but how much he wanted to take that away.
"It's kinda hard to breath. But I'm sure I'll be fine. Please, I don't want you to worry about me" She looked up at him, her Left eye visibly swollen.
"Too late, your going to go to the hospital." He guided her towards the gate of the arena as the rain picked up.
Sara walked dutifully beside him, without the strength to argue about the hospital, she resigned to do as Josh asked. It took Sara a moment to realise she was on the verge of passing out. Walking beside Josh she felt the welcome warmth of darkness playing on the outside of her mind, stumbling she touched Josh's arm and softly said his name. the darkness enveloped her.
Josh felt better knowing Sara was not going to argue about going to the hospital, He just wished, as he walked , that he had insisted before hand. shoving his hands into his dark jeans he walked into the rain, glancing over at Sara from time to time to make sure she was alright.
Something in him made him think she needed to talk about what had happened to her family. Where normally, he may have felt uncomfortable with that sort of information, He didn't feel that way. He thought back to the times they had talked in the short time they had known each other. She didn't come across as the person with a lot of baggage, just a private person who liked her life simple. Not as simple as it seems, he thought wryly. glancing back over to her he watched as her legs seemed to soften under her. She almost crumpled to the ground, but he had slipped his arms around her. She softly gripped his arm and whispered his name before she passed out. He reached around her and softly gathered her limp body into his arms.