"I'm sorry, I can't. I have a girlfriend."
I wasn't so sure I heard him right.
I turned around and spotted him at the front of the cafe, politely declining a pretty blonde girl with a nod of his head and aversion of his eyes. The girl fumbled with her words, clearly not prepared to be let down. They exchanged a few more words until Sean flashed her a charming smile - dimples and all. Geez, is he trying to make her fall harder for him? - before making his way back to us.
I looked to Serris, my girlfriend, to check if she knew what he meant, but her wide eyes told me she was just as confused as I was.
Sean took a seat across from me, too preoccupied with his hot drink to meet our gazes, as if nothing happened. I cleared my throat.
"A girlfriend, huh?" I said, flashing him a smirk. He still didn't look up at me. "Does this mean you and Kaycee finally-?"
"No, dude." He cut me off. Serris widened her eyes at him for his tone, but I shrugged it off. "It's just a simpler way out."
"Simpler than?" She asked as she fumbled with something on her phone. Then she threw it face down on the table and glared straight at her little brother. God knows how this kid didn't feel like running away from being on the receiving end of it.
Sean shrugged, blowing carefully over his beverage. "The truth, I guess."
"What's the truth?" Serris pressed.
The boy sighed and, finally, looked up. His eyes were too tired and sad to be those of an 18-year-old. He opened his mouth, releasing a long, exasperated ramble.
"The truth is - I'm sorry, I can't because there's this girl that I've been in love with since I was 9 years old, and sometimes I think she might feel the same way, but she's always denying it and telling people we're just friends. Then, she pulls me closer and tells me that she trusts me, and is inspired by me. And she likes to do things couples do, like joint vlogs and photo shoots and weekends away at her family's lake house, that it gives me whiplash. So I don't really know what the fuck is going on. But on the off-chance she might actually feel the same way, I'll have to say no."
By the end of it, I had unconsciously leaned back into my chair, lungs protesting against the breath I didn't know I was holding. Serris squeezed my hand, eyes wide with concern. Sean clamped his mouth shut, realizing what he just said, and averted his eyes back to his drink. Things were getting awkward fast, but I wasn't going to be the one to break the silence.
"Wow," Serris breathed out, pity tinging her voice.
"Yeah," Her brother nervously scratched at the back of his neck. "Sorry. I got a bit carried away there."
"So, after all these years, you guys are still a mess, huh?" She asked, patting his hand. He immediately pulled away, not wanting any of her pity.
"Yeah, a bit." He was trying so hard to sound casual about it, it physically hurt me to hear him.
"Why don't you guys just talk about it then?" I asked, not able to stomach this excruciating situation.
Being Serris' boyfriend, I'd been a bystander in their lives for a while. Sean and I weren't exactly close, because the kid works a lot and we live in different states, but we get along pretty well when we hang out. And I've been around him and Kaycee enough times to know what's up.
Thinking back to how Serris and I leveled up from being childhood friends to today, I can't really fathom why it's taking them so long.
" I mean, Serris and I-"
"No offense," He cut me off, eyes flashing. "But Kaycee and I have a bit more at stake than you two did."
Oh right, How could I forget? Sean & Kaycee.
Rising dance prodigies and "it" duet of the moment. One wrong move, and that's two careers down the drain.
"We know," Serris said, squeezing my hand again, silently telling me not to push him. "We're just...sorry that things are this hard for you two."
Sean shrugged again. He seems to do that a lot when it comes to the sensitive topic of Kaycee. "It is what it is."
"But you can't wait around forever, Sean," I said. Maybe there was something in my voice, but that made him look up.
"Oh, I don't plan to." He countered, a sad smirk pulling his lip sideways.
"What do you mean?" I frown at him, curious. "Like, you have a deadline?"
"Yeah, I guess you could call it that." The boy heaved a heavy breath, stirring his drink around lazily so that the small metal spoon clinked against the side of the cup. "A deadline."
"A deadline for what?"
"For Kaycee to tell me, or show me, or make a goddamn choice." He replied bitterly. Setting the small spoon down, he lifted the steaming up to his lips. "Whatever it is, I've laid down all my card. It's all in her hands now."
I turned to Serris, meeting her equally concerned gaze. This was unlike him, to seem distant and uncaring about where he stood with Kaycee.
"Well, what happens if the deadline passes and she doesn't make a choice?" I asked. The question was on Serris' tongue too, but I knew she was too worried to voice it out into reality.
We knew what he would say before he even said it.
"Then I'm done. Call it quits, walk away, give up." He answered simply, setting his cup back down. "Move on."
"Move on how?" Serris scoffed, disbelieving that her little brother was actually saying these things. "It's not that easy, Sean."
"I know that." He barked back, rolling his eyes at her. "I've spent years of my life revolving around her. You think I expect to drop this like it's nothing?"
Serris was about to retaliate when Sean ducked down, reaching for something in his backpack next to him. He pulled out a piece of paper and slid it across the table to us.
"But maybe this could be a start."
From over Serris' shoulder, I read the contents of the paper. It was a printed email. While I couldn't read the entire thing, a few keywords told me enough -
Keone & Mari
Beyond Babel Off-Broadway
New York
6 months
"This is a freaking amazing opportunity, Sean!" Serris beamed, setting the paper back down. But he didn't seem all too thrilled.
"Some distance might do me some good." Sean took another sip of his drink.
Almost immediately, the smile slipped off her face, replaced by disapproval.
"Distance, Sean?" She sounded like she could jump across the table and throttle him.
"Distance is not seeing each other for a week, maybe not calling and texting too. But this," She waved the email at him. "This is putting a thousand miles between you!"
"Two, actually." He countered.
"What?"
"Two." He slowly turned the cup and saucer around. "Two thousand four hundred fifty-one miles, to be exact."
"That's a whole fucking country between you two, Sean!" Serris exclaimed at him.
Sean looked up at her, eyes betraying his pain. "I know."
I can't imagine what this like. Years and years of being so close yet so far.
"You can't possibly do this." She tried to reason with him. There's nothing I can do, except sit here and rub comforting circles at the back of her hand. Her rising panic was showing in her voice, but Sean remained unfazed.
"And why not?"
Serris was about to slap. One more word from him, and I won't be able to stop her.
"Does she know?" She growled out, tossing the sheet of paper back at him. "About this, about this freaking deadline of yours?"
"No," Sean scoffed, stuffing it back in his bag. "Of course not."
"You have to tell her." Serris widened his eyes at him.
Sean shook his head. "No way. I won't."
"Yes, you NEED TO!" Serris responded, voice getting a little louder now. I can see the vein in her neck popping. "You owe it to her-"
That was the wrong thing to say.
In a flash, Sean snapped his eyes towards her, fury burning beneath his brown irises.
"I owe it to her?" He said, spitting every word with acid. His eyes were blown wide with anger that Serris instinctively shrunk back into her seat.
"I spent years just giving and giving, respecting that she doesn't owe me anything, not even a single shred of her heart. But somehow, in the end, I'm still the one who owes her?"
"I'm sorry, that's not what I meant." His sister quickly backpedaled. "I just meant that maybe if you tell her, it'll be the push she needs to make the choice. She's walking around thinking that everything is a-okay, not knowing you're actually a ticking timebomb."
Sean licked his lower lip as if turning her words over in his mind. But in the end, he shook his head.
"No, I won't tell her." He said firmly.
Serris let go of my hand and threw her arms up in frustration. "Well, why the hell not?"
I reached behind her to rub soothing circles on her back. This was quickly becoming a conversation I regret starting.
"Because I want her to want to be with me, because she chooses me. Not because she has this knife to her throat, a threat that she loses me if I don't get the answer I want from her." Sean said, eyes pleading with us to understand.
My gut twisted at his words, registering the pain that underscored his voice. It brought back so many memories of waiting for Serris, hoping she'd look my way, hoping she'd feel the same way. It took so long, and every day felt like getting stabbed in the ribs.
Sean must be living a nightmare.
"Is this why you've been pulling away?" I asked, rejoining the conversation. Serris needed to take a break, or she just might kill her brother.
"What do you mean?" Sean cocked his head to the side, feigning ignorance. But I saw right through him, having been in that position myself.
And there was something in his eyes that told me he knew that I knew. But I played along anyway.
"You don't post your duets anymore?" I recounted, listing off on one hand. "You try so hard to sound platonic in your captions, even when Kaycee posts a cheesy caption? Inviting Maddie to the house and hanging out with a bunch of other girls again?"
"You had Maddie over at the house?" Serris gasped.
"I can hang out with whoever I want." Sean replied through gritted teeth. But it was a weak comeback, and he knew we caught on to his bullshit.
"When's the deadline, Sean?" Serris asked, eyes wide with worry and a plan.
"I'm not telling you." The kid rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest in protest.
"Why not?" She pressed.
"Because you have a soft spot for Kaycee, and I'm not risking that." Sean shook his head stubbornly. Then, turning a grave look to his now-cold drink, he uttered under his breath.
"But it's soon. Very soon."
Serris and I let it go, sensing that Sean was very much done with the conversation. We moved on to lighter topics, but the vibe was tense at best. My girlfriend was a bit on edge, still clearly upset at her brother's revelation, and Sean looked like he wanted to get out of there already.
When he had excused himself to go to the washroom, Serris flipped her phone over and clicked on the screen. My eyes widened, registering the app her had on.
"Did you record it?" I hissed at her as she clicked on the audio file. Sure enough, Sean's voice poured out of her tiny phone speakers, voice clear as day.
"What the hell, babe?" I said as she saved the file. "Why did you do that?"
"Because we might need it." She insisted. The track saved and she clicked her phone screen off, putting it back down on the table. "
"For what?"
She looked at me, eyes shining with worry. "To save them from themselves."
Dear god, what did I just get myself into?
~~~
Author's Note: I've always wanted to write something from Kylee's perspective. I wonder what he knows, what he's seen.