"It's so beautiful out here. I can't remember a spring day like this. Where the clouds were light and fluffy and the sky was as blue as the ocean. The flowers in full bloom throughout the entire meadow. And to think, all this life, all this wondrous beauty was made from three simple things. Dirt, water, sunlight. It's all it needs to survive. To grow. And we get to be apart of it, we get to grow alongside the flowers, and the hills, the sun, the sky. There's never been anything more beautiful in this world, than life."
"I can name one thing that is." She grins.
"Really, and what would that be?"
Her laugh echos across the knolls of grass beneath us. "It would be the sight of a beautiful girl, sitting on a picnic blanket near me, dreaming of a world that holds so much beauty, not knowing that the world's most dazzling spectacle was her, herself."
"Ruby!"
"What? Come on tell me that wasn't good? That took me weeks to compose!" Her laugh is as contagious as her smile, as I can't help myself but be infected.
She stands, as a new song starts playing from the radio, and holds out her hand for me, which I gladly grasp.
Immediately she loops her left arm around my waist and starts swaying us around the grass, dancing blissfully to our favorite song.
"You know I love you more than anything."
"And I love you more than there are stars in the sky."
We continue to dance for what could be forever. Until the song fades away from us slowly, replaced by a gradual beeping.
Coming closer, and closer, and Closer, and CLOS-
"Ruby!"
"Sapphire!"
//
"Sapphire! Wake up already! God damn girl it's time to go!"
"Huh, what?" I stir awake abruptly as the blanket is thrown off my side of the bed. Wha-
"Amethyst, what on earth are you doing here at seven in the morning?" I groggily lay back down in bed, irritated by the intrusion. Mornings are not, and never will be my strong suit.
"It's Tuesday Sapphire, which means the same thing as yesterday, school. Get up and get ready fast because I'm not keeping the car ready for long." Amethyst, in her usual grumpy mood, grabs my blanket again and takes it out of my room on her way out, leaving me exposed to the chilly morning air.
I look at my phone, lingering on the lock screen of me and Ruby at the nightclub in Monterey. That was one of my favorite nights with her.
Quickly I wipe the tear out of my eye as I realize I'll be late if I don't hurry. Senior year waits for no one, not even poor ole Sapphire. I get dressed in whatever random shirt I find in our closet and pull some jeans on. After brushing my teeth and hair I grab Ruby's ribbon and tie it around my wrist like I have been doing every morning for nearly a year.
Nearly a year. Huh.
The steady, familiar beep of Ruby's heart monitor beside the bed pulls me back to reality. School. Yeah. Okay, just another day.
I sling my backpack over my shoulders, grab my ring from Ruby's bedside table and give her a kiss on the forehead before taking my leave downstairs.
"Hey Phire, come 'ere a second." Ruby's dad calls me from their living room where he's usually reading his newspaper and smoking a cigar. He started calling me Phire and a few months ago ever since I went a little too far at my birthday party. Possibly starting a fire. I think it's a pretty cool nickname. Reminds me of Ruby.
"Yes, Mr. Burns?" I walk up and stand in front of his chair, a bit impatiently as I know Amethyst will actually drive away.
"Look. I know today will be hard for you," he folds the newspaper and lays it down on the coffee table. "Just know, it's okay to stay home or call me if it gets too hard. And I'll pick you up myself okay?"
I sigh heavily, thinking if I should just stay home or not. The day hasn't hit me yet. But I know it will later... But damn I have a test in AP today and I can't miss it. "Thank you, but I'll be ok."
He knows I'm lying. He always knows. But he lets me go anyways.
"Alright well, I'll see you after. I might be home late! Bye!" I rush out the door and into Amethyst's car and we start heading to school.
//
"So how... have you been coping?" Pearl fails to open her fruit cup while asking the question, nearly getting the juice all over Lapis across from her. Who is too busy listening to Peridot rant about her latest robot that she worked on with Pearl in shop class. Some kind of mind chip for her forehead? I don't really know.
"I've been practicing what Dr. Maheswaran told me to do with panic attacks and nightmares. So that helps. Last night I didn't have a nightmare though." It was strange, it was actually the first time I had a good dream since the war. Besides the strange ending.
Pearl, Amethyst, Peridot, and Lapis all turn towards me when I said that. "Really?"
"What? It's not that big a deal," I mumble silently into my pudding cup.
"Uh yeah it's a big deal," Peridot starts. "That's great progress! Considering it's been 10 months, 2 weeks, and 3 days since Ruby was nearly fatally shot in the heart anyways. However slow your progress may be, it's good there's any improvement at all!"
Lapis hits her upside the head as I suddenly lose my appetite again. "Wow, Peri. Like actually?" Amethyst says to her.
"No. It's fine." I'm fine. At least I think I am. I haven't started panicking yet. Maybe I will later after school when it settles. Or when I see Ruby in bed today again.
The table is awkwardly quiet again like most days that remind us of her. Ruby brought a lot of spirit to the group. A lot of energy that none of us could substitute for. The whole school feels it. They even memorialized her locker like she's dead. Which I hate. But I know Ruby would've loved this. Will, love this. It's just full of teddy bears and flowers but they didn't even know her. They didn't lose someone.
No Sapphire, you didn't lose her. She's in bed sleeping peacefully in the same place she has been for months. She'll wake up one day. I look around at everyone's solemn faces at the table.
She has to.
//
"So you didn't have a nightmare for the first time in months. I'm proud of you Sapphire. You've been making a lot of progress lately and it shows."
"Thanks, Dr. Maheswaran. I thought today would be difficult, especially with everyone tip-toeing around that fact that today's our one year anniversary. I know it. They know it. I guess they just aren't comfortable talking about it like I am. I mean. Most of our time together had been her unconscious in a bed, and me making sure her life support is on. Which now that I think of it, that's a pretty morbid sentence to live with."
"But as you established to me before, the doctors working on Ruby said she has a chance. A chance that she can wake up with most of her memory and cognitive functions. And that's what you need to remember. Because in the end, all the worry and stress you have right now, will bear the most valuable profit."
"Yes, I'll remember." I sigh. The perpetual fear that she won't come back the same still lingers.
"And with that, I believe our time is up. It's been nice catching up with you Sapphire," she stands in which I follow as she escorts me to the door per usual. "I'll see you next week?"
"Yes, of course," I say surely, knowing my problems are not going to end anytime soon.
The walk home was anything but thrilling. I guess I've been contemplative of my time since Ruby "went to sleep" as Maheswaran likes to put it.
After Ruby was shot the bombs went off. The Crystal Gems won the war, but with many casualties. Carnelian died with Amethyst which she hasn't been able to get over. She also believes she the reason Ruby's comatose because she told her to leave the building they were in. After the further explanation, I've concluded that it's not Amethyst's fault, but you couldn't convince her otherwise.
No one found Ruby for a few minutes. One more and she could've been dead. They say she was unconscious in a pool of blood, hers and others. She was shot about 4 centimeters from her heart and was lucky to be alive at all. I arrived about 2 hours too late, around 4 in the morning only to be guided to the hospital where they were doing major surgery on her and a few others.
Amethyst told me Ruby had woken up when they gave her an adrenaline shot to keep her alive long enough to reach a hospital. She told me she said she's sorry, and then passed out again. We still don't know what she's sorry for.
It's been... excruciating, to say the least. I finished the school year online since it was just... too traumatic going outside knowing she could die at any second...
Uh, then I spent every waking moment next to her bed, talking to her, sleeping next to her, updating her on how everyone is. When Ruby was stable they recommended moving her into her own house, her father was able to afford all the grade A equipment to be sure Ruby stayed stable. I basically moved in too.
Every day has been the same constant state of fear and anxiety. Waking up, hoping she didn't flatline while I was asleep, going to school not being able to hear the monitor beep. Morbid, I know. But I'd rather struggle for her, than not have her at all.
I've lost so much in this life. There is absolutely no way I'll lose her too. I won't allow it.
Well. Guess I'm home now. I stopped at the flower shop to get Ruby some roses for today. Outside the front door are Onyx and Spinel. They watch outside to protect Ruby in case any Diamond wants to "finish the job". When her dad or I'm not home, we have Bismuth watch inside. She stays in the extra room. She's as concerned for Ruby's health as the rest of us are.
Once inside and upstairs, I place the flowers in the vase by Ruby's bed and kiss her forehead as like ritual. I sit on the bed and tell her about my day as usual. Her doctors say there's a chance she could be hearing me but we're not entirely sure.
"Hey, sleepyhead. Happy one year anniversary... I got you some roses, those are on your table. School today was the usual. Pretty boring. Except Pearl nearly snorted her milk out of her nose at lunch. That was pretty funny. Everyone still misses you. With all the cards and flowers on your locker. You're gonna have a hell of a time reading them when you wake up."
If.
No, you shut up.
"Some are pretty funny actually. They're making up all these stories of all the "fun times" you guys had together, but they had no idea who you are.
"Baseball lost another game today. They suck balls without you. Except for Amethyst. She does her best as captain this year, but I think all the responsibility that comes with it weighs her down emotionally. She's already having a hard time as it is. Everyone is.
"We all really miss you.
"Remember this time last year. I literally mowed you down in the hallways entirely on accident. And we just stared into each other's eyes for what felt like hours. And then that was it. We were all we needed from then on..."
The silence fills the room like a torrent of uncertainty. All except for the slow steady beep. Never changing.
"Please wake up Ruby. Please, please, please," my cries quietly fill the emptiness of the room. "Just wake up and show me those beautiful brown eyes I've been wishing to see."
Beep
Beep
Beep
Beep
I sigh. "I love you." Leaving the room, I take the baby monitor and hook it through my belt loop, the keep sure that she's alright.
I head down to the kitchen to get something to eat. Apparently, crying every day takes a large amount of energy. So does exhaustion. And borderline depression. But we shall go on either way.
I munch on a bowl of cereal while sitting in the living room. Mr. Burns left for the Temple when I got home, so the house is to myself.
Reaching for the TV remote, I hear a crackling static. Like clothes moving around. I place my bowl down and examine myself. It didn't come from me. Then I hear it again, along with groans. The baby monitor. Someone's in Ruby's room.
I grab the gun stored under the coffee table and quietly rush up the stairs. I push the door open slightly and look in.
Inside I notice Ruby's regular bushel of hair, but it's not laying on the pillow.
Could. Could it be?
Nearly forgetting myself, I pull the safety on the gun and put it in my waistband.
Quickly I swing the door open and walk in.
The tears fill my eyes.
"Ruby."
"Hey, Sapphy."