Hours later there is a knock on the door. I continued to sit there with my back against the cold tile wall and my arms wrapped around my knees.
I refused to let anyone convince me otherwise, that sitting here was a bad idea.
"Hun, can I come in?"
Oh, my god, he called my mom.
"No," I said, placing my face in my hands.
"Please, sweetheart?" a gruff voice said.
God damn, even worse my dad was here as well.
"No, but you can tell Jake he is dead to me."
There was a moment of silence then I heard Jake's voice, "Ness I am sorry, I didn't know what else to do. You weren't coming out."
"That's because you are an idiot," I yelled.
"I know, but why don't you tell your parents how much of an idiot I am when they take you home?" he said.
"No. Just go away!"
"Ness, please!"
I glanced up at the window, if they were that desperate they would break down the door or come in through the window, at least they respected me enough to ask me to come out. I glanced at the door then up at the window once more and decided I had enough. I didn't want to see any of them.
So, I climbed through the window and ran around to the front of the house to see Mom resting her head against the door and trying to talk through it while Jake sat on the couch with his head in his hands. Just as I was about to run off Dad stood before me. Crap, he saw my plan.
He shook his head in disappointment, "You didn't think that one through, Renesmee," he said in a gruff voice.
I glanced back as Mom walked towards me, but Jake still sat there like someone killed his best friend.
Back home I stayed in my room the rest of the weekend, Mom came in once or twice trying to get me to eat something but all she met was silence.
"I knew this would happen. I knew she would get hurt!" Mom said to Dad on Sunday night as they headed off to bed.
"Bella, Jacob did the right thing," Dad said, "for once," he added with a growl.
"Then why is she so upset!" Mom yelled at him.
I heard them stop in their tracks and I suddenly couldn't hear what they were saying. I threw back the covers and tottered into the hall and then around the corner as they stared at each other, obviously communicating in their head.
"Because he didn't want to love me," I said aloud. Both of them quickly snapped their attention to me. "Jacob doesn't want to be with me because he is protecting me...Jacob doesn't want to have me because of my overprotective parents breathing down my neck," I said as tears ran down my cheeks. "Because I can't make decisions for myself because everyone else thinks that it's their right to!" I cried.
"Hun," Mom said as she stepped towards me.
"No," I commanded. They both stared in shock. Dad's eyebrows burrowed.
"I won't be babied anymore," I said as I walked quickly towards the front door grabbing my coat and boots as I left.
I heard them follow after as I used everything in me to outrun them.
I don't know when I stopped and fell asleep but it had to be before the sun rose because now I felt the slightest tingle on my skin. I woke to see the forest floor and then my hands sparkling in the sun. I sat up and brushed my dirty hair out of my face and looked around.
Oh no.
I saw a lake to my right as I sat at the water's edge. I had no idea where I was.
"Mom?" I whispered.
I stood and felt shaky, the lack of blood and food had me at a disadvantage because I couldn't muster my senses to find my way back.
"Oh no," I whispered.
I took a couple steps forward, stumbled then rested my weight on a near tree.
How was I going to get out of here? I had no idea where I was. I hadn't brought anything with me other than my jacket.
I tugged the material tighter around my body as I tried to come up with some idea where I was. The frosty morning air made me feel like I was in the school parking lot...wait it was school today.
I was missing school, what time was it? I looked at the sun for an indication of what time it was but quickly glanced away and tried to hide myself in the shadow of the tree. That sun was not nice when you are at your weakest.
I stuffed my hands in my pocket to see if I had anything to help my situation and found a packet of gum, an old movie ticket and my iPod...so that's where that went. I popped a piece of gum in my mouth and put the earpieces in and then the low battery sign flashed on the iPod; great.
Stuffing the iPod back in my pocket; I then curled up and wrapped my arms around my knees and placed my forehead against them.
I had no idea what I was supposed to do; I was stupid, really stupid to run off without food in my stomach or blood and no sense of direction.
I then heard a howl and panicked, glancing up and stumbling to my feet I prayed for dear life it was Jake's pack and not someone else. I was dead either way.
I heard a crunch and stumbled back falling down to the earth with a thud, crying out as my elbow smacked down first.
A large wolf jumped out. I whimpered before I recognized the fur. "Hey Seth," I whispered, before he pawed my angle then let out an ear piercing howl.
I covered my ears to block out the sound before he bowed his large head and nudged me to get up.
"I'm very weak, Seth."
As he tried to help me up three wolves appeared, Jacob obvious when standing at the head of the pack. As Jacob approached, Seth suddenly bowed out and backed up.
"Jake. You don't know how happy and unhappy I am right now to see you," I said as he nudged his head against my shoulder.
Two more wolves appeared out of the thick undergrowth. Geez, he had the whole pack out looking for me.
"Thank you for finding me. I didn't know how to get back," I whispered. A growl reverberated in his chest and I winced. Suddenly all wolves left as Jake must have ordered them to do so.
Jake followed after them and I tried to crawl after him, "Jake, please wait, I'm sorry." But he sprinted off until he disappeared.
I began to cry, sobbing uncontrollably. I felt abandoned. He'd just left me there to die because he was a selfish-
Broad hands grasped me under my knees and back, giving me a fright. I glanced up to see Jake, cradling me to his chest, with an unhappy expression.
"Jake," I sobbed. He was now in shorts and I realized he had left to get changed. "Jake, I-"
"Shh," he said. He began a steady pace through the forest, carrying me easily.
"I'm sorry," I whispered. Jacob didn't look at me, just seemed to increase the pace in his stride.
"Jakey," I whispered and nuzzled his neck; he sighed and slowed down his pace. "I am sorry."
"I know Ness. I am too. I was stupid to think this would work."
"What?" I said in shock.
"You deserve better."
"No," I whisper, "...no...NO!" I yelled.
I pushed him and fell to the ground, I cried out as I rolled over, "Renesmee!" he said in surprise and dropped to the ground beside me, picking me up and cradling me against him.
"No," I said once more pushing him away. "You don't get to touch me," I said.
"Fine, I won't," he yelled, "but how do you suppose I get you home then?"
I glared at him, pushing and swearing at him. He grabbed my hands pinning them down above my head and his body covered mine and he used his weight to hold me there while I continued to swear at him.
"I hate you, I hate you!" I screamed at him, "You always think you know better and try to make decisions for me."
"No Renesmee, this is not about decisions, this is keeping you safe. The fact that you fail to see that is your problem."
"I love you and all I get is this stupid shit of you thinking you know better. All I get is the cold shoulder."
"Ness, I will always love you, I did the moment I first saw you. I am imprinted with you and you damn well know that isn't a bumper stick. It means no matter how long I live you will be the only woman I will love. The one I would give my life up for before anyone else.
"It's some serious shit and you damn well know it is but I can't love you the way you want me too. I can't be the man you want to wake up to the next morning and gab about to all your friends over the phone telling them about what you did last night. I will only be allowed to love you like I always have; like your best friend."
I pushed at him again and to those who knew him lying on top of me was to restrain me, others might have seen this as an advance on me by force to someone like – a sudden clear of the throat sound disturbed the air and I turned my head – my parents atop of the hill glaring down at me and Jake.
Jacob stood up the very instant the sound hit his ears and he began to phase as he ran into the bushes.
I cried out after him and then screamed at my parents, "I hate you all! I hate you!"
I stood up and a wave of nausea hit, making me feel dizzy. "I hate you-" and then I blacked out.
When I awoke, the only sound in the room was the beep of the machines. I looked around and I was hooked up to a blood bag. I was in my room; Grandpa must have hooked me up to all this stuff.
My phone laid on my bedside table and as I noticed the time and date I cursed.
"Oh, good you're awake," Grandpa said as he entered the room.
I sighed as I sat up. "Why was I out for five days?" I whispered.
"Obviously, part of you didn't want to wake up. It had your parents quite upset."
"Who cares, it's not like there is much for me now."
"I know you feel that way, but you are at that age where you base your emotional status on your social status."
"English, Grandpa please."
"Your friendships are the most important to you right now, not school or future but your relationships with other people."
"Yeah," I said as I played with my fingernails.
"Sweetheart, it's alright to feel this way."
"Tell that to my parents."
He sighed and gathered up his bag, "I will be back this afternoon to take all of this away. Can you stay in bed that long?"
"Sure," I sighed. He gave me a small smile and left.
I went to pick my phone up again when I saw a letter leaning against a vase of fresh flowers. Dreading what it said I briefly reached out to touch it but decided against it and turned over on my side, facing my back to it.
As I stared at the artwork on my walls, I got bored and curiosity got the best of me. Flipping back over onto my back, I snatched up the envelope and tore it open.
Renesmee,
I am not good at writing things down but I thought it best to give it a shot.
As you are unconscious right now; my heart has almost stopped beating as well, at least that's what it feels like. As I watched you lying there, I felt our bond, I could feel it weakening. I am realizing now how much strain this has put on both of us and I am little upset, but also happy for you now that your family is moving to Canada. I know it's the best thing for you now, it took me a couple days to get use to the idea, I admit. I am going away for a bit and I won't be back till after you leave. I really do wish I could be there and wish you goodbye, but this will have to do. I do care about you. You know that Nessie. I always will. Even if I never see you again but an eternity is a long time and I'm sure we will meet again, I mean you can't get rid of me that easy.
I wish you the best, Renesmee.
I love you
Jacob
I began to sob, till I was sure I had an ugly cry face. Screwing up the letter in my hands, I screamed my frustration as I realized he wasn't coming back.
I was never going to see him again.
The machines starting beeping rapidly, as my heart sped up and I got so angry I started smashing the machines with my bare hands. Plastic, and metal flied everywhere and if I had any sort of rational thought, I would feel bad about breaking grandpa's expensive equipment. Right now, however, the world seemed to be ending. My whole life was imploding rapidly as my best friend since birth was leaving me, and with him all the good times that we had and could ever possibly have.
My parents ran into the room at their fastest pace and my father restrained me quickly before my mother picked up the screwed up letter. She carefully undid the screwed up paper ball and she glanced over it quickly. Her eyes flicked up to my father's as I wailed and flailed in his arms.
"Shh," my father said as he put me down on the bed and stroked my hair. I rolled over and cried into the pillow.
"Edward," Mom whispered and handed him the letter.
"God, damn it," Dad muttered.
"She is heartbroken," Mom whispered.
"We are moving tomorrow."
"What? You said next week," she hissed.
"We need to leave now."