Isabel shook her head and looked back at the ground, trying to formulate a plot. Her partner was in trouble, she knew that, but she also knew that this trouble was unlike anything she had ever seen before. She was used to dealing with monsters, and she knew that's what this was, but there was a certain detail that was trumping all of her expertise. But she had to figure it out. She just had to. For her partner. She again looked at the spy that was going to help her with her mission, and she wondered to herself if there was actually going to be any saving of her partner. Yes, Isabel was used to monsters, but she was used to them being on the outside. The monster she would have to save her partner from was inside the woman. And Isabel wasn't sure she could take it down without killing her partner in the process.
*******************
Akilah took another sip of the drink in front of her, just hoping to erase the day's events from her mind. It had been hard enough when they had found that letter of Reid's, knowing he was smart enough to write out a perfectly eloquent goodbye letter without giving them a clue where he was. And then he had given them a clue, but most of them hadn't an idea how to crack it. But then Ciara, the only one of them who had an intellect even close to rivaling Reid's, figured it out. Akilah thought that only the uncertainty of not knowing where he was going would have been the hardest thing to deal with that day. But she was wrong.
The hardest part wasn't even the fear that rose up in her chest when they got to the warehouse, the fear of not knowing if Reid was dead or alive. The hardest part was when Ciara finally exited the warehouse with an alive Reid behind her, but on the way to the hospital, he started to really feel the effects of the overdose. Reid had struggled to stay awake the entire ride, and the hardest part of that day was hearing Ciara plead and beg with him to keep his eyes open, as she was afraid that if he closed them, he wouldn't open them again. Hearing Ciara so weak and vulnerable when she normally kept herself so stoic and closed off was hard. But that? That was on another plane entirely.
She had always been insensitive to death. She had seen it in her childhood, and she saw it in her job, so she struggled to figure out why the possibility of Reid dying scared her so much. Death had never scared her, and while she wasn't quite as indifferent to it as Ciara seemed to be, it definitely didn't bother her. But perhaps it was different when it was someone she knew. Yeah, that had to be it. No one close to her had ever died as long as she could think of. Her mother had died when she was two, but she really didn't know the woman. She didn't have any solid memories of her, just what her father and sisters had told her. So yes, that had to be the reason she was so scared. Because she had never experienced the death of someone close to her, and she hoped that she wouldn't for a long time.
A man sat down next to her and began to flirt with her, but Akilah gave him the cold shoulder, hoping he got the hint that she wasn't interested. Some men took the cold attitude she gave them as a rejection, while some saw it as a conquest, with her just playing hard-to-get, and him loving the supposed challenge of breaking through her icy exterior. Unfortunately for them, this was the only place she held that icy exterior. Anyone who knew Akilah knew that she was very open and honest about her emotions and opinions, sometimes too open and honest, according to others. It was only when it came to men who, at best, wanted a relationship, and at worst, wanted sex out of her that she became closed off. And that's exactly what she got every time she went to the bar.
Most times she drank at home, but on nights like tonight, she knew she had to get away from the apartment. Away from Ciara. Don't get her wrong, Akilah loved that woman. She was like the little sister she wished she had. Although, even though Ciara was 14 months younger than Akilah was, she so much wiser, and she knew that wisdom came from experience. Akilah had been through her fair share of shit, but she had a strong feeling her shit list barely held a candle to Ciara's. But still, despite having four biological sisters, Ciara still felt like more of a sister than they ever would be. But yet, sometimes she couldn't handle the pressure that that put on her.
It was with Ciara that Akilah had some of her best and worst memories. She had seen Ciara fall to lows she never thought possible. She had seen Ciara fight off demons, a fight that sometimes left her looking completely and utterly possessed. Akilah had a feeling that Ciara had seen, or maybe even experienced things that no human should ever see, but she was just too damn stubborn and closed off to tell Akilah what those things were. She took another sip of her drink, shaking some of the memories out of her head. She had seen awful things during the nights that Ciara lost control of her mind, but she doubted they were anything close to what Ciara had and was seeing.
"Damn that woman," Akilah muttered under her breath. Why couldn't she just tell Akilah what had gone so utterly wrong in her past? Akilah had told her about her demons, so why couldn't Ciara just do the same? What was so utterly horrible that she didn't feel able to tell anyone? And why did she seem to be trusting Reid more than her? She gave a wan smile and finished off her drink at the thought, asking the bartender for another. She loved that Ciara was finally opening up and seeming to find trust in somebody, but why wasn't it her? She was her partner, her roommate, her friend. So what did Reid have that she didn't? Why was she all of a sudden gravitating away from Akilah and drifting towards Reid? Akilah didn't understand it, and she hated not understanding something. So she decided to drink until she couldn't think straight enough to not understand it.
As another man unsuccessfully tried to hit on her, another thought crossed her mind. As that thought crossed her mind, she gave herself a smirk and forced a small laugh at her own stupidity. There was one man she just couldn't seem to escape thinking about, and he was the man that she knew she couldn't have. She sighed, swirling the contents of her glass around a little bit. She knew it was stupid to accept Derek Morgan's offer to go get a cup of coffee. She knew it, but yet she still did it. And now she was in over her head. She couldn't get him off her mind, but she knew the rules. She knew there was a pretty strict ban on two people in the Bureau getting together, but yet, that's all she wanted to do, damn it all.
She downed her drink as quickly as she could, knowing she'd need several of them if she was ever going to get Morgan off of her mind. But for right now, he had entered, and he didn't seem like he was gonna go away any time soon. Why? Why did she let him have that first coffee date? And why did she let him have every one after that? How could she have been so stupid? She knew she was setting herself up for failure. This little thing with Morgan could never go anywhere. But yet, she wanted to try. She wanted to let him break down the walls she put in place, because she sure had some. She wanted to tell him about Saudi Arabia and how she got out. She wanted to tell him about her father. She wanted...
"Hello, Akilah. Fancy seeing you here."
Fuck. My. Life. Akilah placed a fake smile on her face and turned to see the man she had just been thinking about, that ever-so-charming smile crossing his face. She held his gaze for a moment, before taking a sip of her drink, considering every alarm in her brain was starting to go off. Had he known she was here? Or was this pure coincidence? And if it wasn't, and he knew she was here, how did he know? And why did he come in the first place? Surely it wasn't because...? No, there was no way. There was no way she told.
"Fancy that. You come here often?" Akilah asked, and he shrugged.
"Nah, not really. What about you?"
"Occasionally. Not often."
"Well, according to Ciara, that's a bit of a lie." Fuck. So Ciara did tell. That woman was dead when Akilah got home. After everything that Akilah had done for her, and now she went and stabbed Akilah in the back like that. Damn.
"Listen, I don't know what Ciara told you, but..."
"She told me you have a bit of a drinking problem."
"Is that what she said? Well, you know how Ciara..." And damn it all, she couldn't find an accurate way to finish that sentence. Ciara wasn't a liar, and she didn't exaggerate things. Pretty much everything Ciara said was true. The only time she lied was to protect herself or someone else, but even then, she didn't really lie. She simply skillfully changed the subject as quick as she could.
"Uh-huh. What's the ending to that sentence, Akilah?" Morgan wondered.
"Damn her always being so honest."
"Yeah, that's what I thought. Now, why don't you and I go outside and we can talk about this a little bit more?" he suggested, and Akilah had to laugh a little.
"What's there to talk about?" she responded, and she looked over at him to see his face completely taken over with concern.
"You can't keep doing this," Morgan told her, and Akilah scoffed a little.
"And who are you to tell me what I can and can't do? If Ciara and I didn't live together, no one would even know, which means I'm doing a decent job of hiding it. And besides, no one's gotten hurt, have they? So what's the big deal?" Akilah asked.
"Ciara's gotten hurt."
"What?"
"Ciara. She's been hurt physically and mentally, Akilah. You've hurt her, but she'll never admit it to you. She barely admitted it to me," Morgan told her, and Akilah tried to remember a time when she had hurt Ciara, but she came up blank.
"Listen, I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine," Akilah started, but Morgan cut her off.
"You aren't fine. You have a drinking problem, and if left unchecked, you could seriously do some damage to yourself and the people around you. You have to get some help," Morgan said, and with every word, Akilah felt her irritation growing. Who did he think he was, coming here and telling her what to do? He hadn't any clue of the demons chasing her around. He didn't know the things she was trying to drink away. And besides, it's not like he was her boyfriend. He was a coworker, that was it. He had no right to tell her to do anything. "Akilah, are you even listening to me? You have to-"
"No. Don't tell me what to do."
"Akilah, I'm only saying this for-"
"No, if you knew what was good for me, you'd just leave me alone. So why don't you just go and fuck off?" Akilah said, enjoying the shocked expression that crossed Morgan's face for just a moment. She put enough money on the counter to cover her tab and walked out of the building. She got halfway across the parking lot before she heard him calling her name. "By Allah, what the fuck do you want now?"
"I'm not letting you walk away from this that easily, Akilah. I suggested we go outside to talk, and now we're outside. So, let's talk." By the time he finished what he wanted to say, he had crossed the parking lot, and now he was only a step away from her.
"Okay, fine. What do you want to talk about? The weather? What the next case might be? What?" Akilah asked.
"You know what. We need to talk about your problem."
"I don't have a damn problem! And even if I did, you wouldn't know about it if Ciara could just keep her fucking mouth shut! I swear, that woman can't keep a secret," she said, and this time it was Morgan's turn to scoff.
"We both know that shit isn't true. Ciara is the best at keeping secrets," Morgan responded, and Akilah rolled her eyes.
"Then why did she let this one slip?"
"Because she's trying to protect you. She's trying to help you after all the times you've helped her. And, whether you can see it or not, this drinking has changed you. You're more aggressive, you get agitated easier. You're always like a bomb just waiting to go off. Ciara is walking on eggshells around you, can't you see that?" Morgan ranted.
"That's not true."
"It is, Akilah. God, how can you be so blind? Everyone is on eggshells around you. We all noticed that something was different, but we didn't know what. But now Ciara finally told me what it was, and now it's time for you to get some help," Morgan said.
"Oh yeah? If you two are so buddy-buddy, did she tell you what started the drinking in the first place?" Akilah asked.
"No, she just told me when."
"Oh? So she didn't tell you it started when I got a letter from my asshole father? A letter that just brought back all the shit I've been trying to bury inside myself for years?" Akilah asked, and she felt something prick at her eyes. Something wet. Tears? No, no, she couldn't be crying! She didn't cry. But as she thought about the letter and everything that it caused her to remember, she couldn't stop the first tear rolling down her cheek, followed by another, and another after that. Every tear she had wanted to cry because of her father, every tear she had carefully locked tight and hidden away, they were all coming out now, and she couldn't find a way to stop them, no matter how hard she tried. God, she was breaking down in front of Derek Morgan.
"N-No, she didn't," he stammered, and she looked at him quickly to see that he was as unnerved by her breaking down as she was. This wasn't like her. Not at all. But she knew that eventually, all emotions came out of hiding. Hers just seemed to be coming out all at once. As she thought of what her father did to her, blinding rage filled her system. Now, that was more like her. She thought the heat of the fire inside her would dry her tears, but instead, they seemed to bring more tears to the surface. She looked up to see Morgan's confused, panicked gaze with her own, anger flashing in her eyes, hot, angry tears running down her face.
"He fucking sold me, Morgan. My own father fucking sold me."
"What? What do you mean he sold you?"
"I mean exactly that. My mother died in childbirth when I was two. She was having a little boy, and there were some complications... neither her nor the baby made it. And my family blamed me. They said because I weakened her to the point where she couldn't deliver the boy, and so I was hated. And let's face it, I'm not the cooking and cleaning type of person. I was never going to make a great wife in the eyes of my culture. So, when I was twelve, my father decided to get rid of me," she explained.
"By... by selling you?"
"Yes, by selling me. But not only that, he was going to sell me into sex slavery. I WAS TWELVE-FUCKING-YEARS-OLD!" she screamed, tears angrily running down her cheeks. She remembered the fear that she had felt when her father had told her that they were going somewhere, just her and him. She remembered him taking her to what looked like an abandoned building, and when two men who were much bigger than both her and her father grabbed her, she had begun screaming and crying, begging her father to give her another chance. She'd be the daughter he wanted her to be if he would just stop the two men from taking her.
But he didn't. He just gave her a smile and told her that this was the only way she would ever be a wife to someone, and let the men take her away. She remembered every nerve flooding with fear, telling her that she was terrible danger, but she couldn't fight her way out of the men's grasp. They took her to a room with no windows, and only what she could only think of as some medieval torture device. Well, it might as well have been. They attached her to it, and both men took turns... well, according to them, they were "testing her out". Testing her, appraising her as if she wasn't a human, but a piece of property. And that's what she was to them. She wasn't a girl. She was a thing, an item to be sold to the highest bidder.
She thought that was the worst of it. But once they were done with her, they didn't even give her sore, broken body time to rest. They simply redressed and untied her, forced a burlap sack over her head, and began to lead her through the tunnels of the building, and she realized that wasn't the worst at all. She was horribly wrong. They were leading her to where she would be sold to a man who would constantly do what they did to her. He might even do it every night. She would be nothing but a toy to him, and the thought of it nearly made her throw up, especially as they finally entered the right room, forced her to her knees, and tied her arms to a pole of some sort. That was when the whispers started. Whispers about her, about what a good slave she would be, how developed her body was for a twelve-year-old. And then the auctioneer started. She tried to detach herself from the situation, just as she had tried to do with the men, as her price went higher and higher. But right before she could, the auctioneer said that horrible word that made her heart drop: mubae. Sold.
"I was lucky enough that the man who bought me was an undercover agent, trying to bust the child-trafficking ring in my province. But that could never erase what happened that night," Akilah finished, and before she knew it, Morgan had taken that step towards her, and wrapped his strong arms around her. She had never been hugged by a man, but she leaned into his embrace, feeling that, in that moment, she was safe. She was safe from the demons, and she was safe from the memories.
"That's absolutely horrible. I'm so, so sorry that happened to you. But it's in the past. No one will ever hurt you like that again. I promise you that," Morgan said in her ear, the words comforting her. For a minute, they just stayed like that, with her settled deep into his embrace. She never knew that the embrace of a man could make her feel so safe, especially since it was at the hands of men that she had been hurt so badly. But here Morgan was, making her feel safer than she ever had. "Please, Akilah, let me help you."
"Why? Why do you care so goddamned much?" Akilah asked, breaking free of his grasp and taking a step back. Why was he so worried about stopping her drinking? He opened his mouth and closed it again, probably trying to find the right words to say. But then he just shook his head and reclosed the distance between them, before quickly cupping her face in his hands and placing his lips on hers. At first, Akilah wasn't sure how to react, but when he added just a little more pressure to the kiss, she gave in, slipping her eyes shut and wrapping her arms around his neck. But then something strange started to happen. She started to feel dizzy, although she had a feeling it wasn't the kiss doing it. Morgan finally broke off the kiss, and said something, but she couldn't tell what it was.
She barely caught him asking what was wrong before everything went black.
Okay, okay, two things. First, I know this chapter is long (it's about three or four hundred words longer than I usually make them) but there was just so much I wanted to fit in. Second, it's been a hot minute since I updated. Hi, how is everyone? Alright, now that we have that settled, what do you think about Akilah's past being finally brought to light? I know it's not very pretty, but that's kind of what I was going for. And for those that were shipping Morgan and Akilah, first of all, you're welcome, and second of all, wanna help a girl out with a ship name, please? Thanks. Well, that's all I have for now, so...BYE!
"Secrets tend to be revealed when you are feeling most loved or when you're feeling most betrayed." -Unknown