A Little Help from a Snake...

By onyxjay

2.9M 109K 69.1K

(Aka the Tomalongadingdong™ fic) It was a normal day for Harry. He woke up, made breakfast for his relatives... More

Before You Read
0: Prologue
1: The Letter*
2: And They Were Soulmates*
3: All Aboard!*
4: Getting Sorted Out
5: Severus Snape
Part 6*
7: Dobby
8: Train Has Left the Station*
9: Ripping and Tearing is Kinky
10: The Legendary Chamber*
11: Lockhart is Still Alive
12: Diary of a Teenage Voldemort
13: Thnks fr th Mmrs*
14: The Nicknames Begin*
15: The "Rescue"*
16: Going Down Like a Lead Balloon
17: A Grim Tale
18: Diagon Alley*
19: Lone Wolf*
20: This Is What You Came For, Isn't It?
21: Mapped Out
22: Monster in the Wardobe
23: Snape Adopts a Teenage Dark Lord
24: Tiny Blond Fucker
25: The Man Who Cried Werewolf*
Part 26*
Part 27
28: Dun Dun Dun!
Part 29*
Part 30*
Part 31
Part 32*
33: Harry the Heinous*
34: A Serious Discussion About Gas
35: Finally Fourteen
Part 37
38: Raining on One's Parade
Part 39
Part 40
41: Cliffhanger in Part 40
42: Can I Get a Fuck No!
43: Calmly™
Part 44
45: The Skrewts Started the Fire
Part 46
47: Sixteen Going on Seventeen
Part 48
49: Caught Six-Legged
50: Snape, Snape, Swearverus Snape
Part 51
Part 52
53: Baby, It's Cold Outside*
Part 54
Part 55
56: The Lion, the Witch, the Audacity of This Bitch
Part 57
Part 58
(Somewhat) Updated Reading Checkpoint
59: Caught Pink-Handed!
Part 60
61: Spring Has Arrived
Part 62*
Part 63
64: Back Home
65: Ding Dong! Tomalonga is Back!
Part 66
Part 67
Part 68
69: The Party for the Bonding Ceremony
70: The Actual Bonding Ceremony
71: The Aftermath of the Bonding Ceremony
Part 72
Part 73
Part 74
Part 75
Part 76
Part 77
Epilogue
Thank You! (Again)

36: Something of a Riddle

47.5K 1.8K 1.2K
By onyxjay

Reposted: November 23, 2021

Last edited May 11, 2022

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Summary: the group prepares for the Quidditch World Cup; Tom gets two new nicknames and is done™ with Harry



From that night forward, Harry slept in Tom's room. Sirius and Remus didn't make a huge deal out of it, although Sirius did want to take a picture. If only he had a camera... and if only he got off his butt to go buy a camera, the lazy git.

Azure now had an entire room to herself, although she didn't stick around much. However, Harry would sometimes come in to find her bouncing on his bed like a spring. When he first asked her how she was doing that, she stopped for a few seconds to contemplate this before continuing.

Harry slowly blinked open his eyes. The first thing he was aware of was Tom's arm that was draped over his shoulder, pulling him close. He would have loved to stay put, but his bladder was calling out like a kitten calling for its mother.

He shifted in an attempt to wriggle free. But Tom frowned and tightened his hold, letting out a small noise of protest.

"Tom, I have to use the loo."

Tom mumbled something in response.

"I'll be right back, all right? Just let me up."

Harry managed to dislodge Tom's arm, slipping out of bed and quickly going into the bathroom. When he came back, he paused, watching as Tom shifted around slightly, a frown marring his handsome face. Harry finally took pity on him and began climbing back into the bed. He was immediately grabbed and pulled up to Tom again.

He didn't wake up the entire time.

Harry relaxed, gazing up at Tom softly. "Who knew the big bad Dark Lord was such a cuddler?" he murmured.

A small noise answered back.

"And a snorer," Harry added with a small laugh. He wriggled into a more comfortable position and closed his eyes.

About an hour later, Tom stirred.

"Morning," Harry said.

"Morning," Tom echoed. "What has got you so giddy so early in the day?"

Harry grinned at him cheekily. "Not much. Just the knowledge that you, the most feared Dark Lord of all time, is a big cuddler."

"I am not a cuddler," Tom retorted.

"Liar. Every night since we started sleeping together you would hold me so close I could barely breathe. You also snore," Harry added.

Tom groaned. "Great."

"Relax. It's not like I'm going to share this with anyone."

"Except for Remus and Sirius."

"Five points to Slytherin." Harry patted Tom's arm. "You know me so well."

Tom rolled his eyes. "Just shut up and sleep."

"You mean cuddle."

"I— sure." Tom gave up. "Cuddle."

Harry beamed and somehow scooted even closer, head buried in the crook of Tom's neck.

And that was what Sirius came in to find about twenty-five minutes later. Part of him wanted to let them sleep for a little while longer. The other part, the Marauder in him, had him jumping on the bed and lying on top of them amidst the startled protests.




Harry trudged downstairs, rubbing his eyes.

"Morning, pup," Sirius greeted him cheerfully as if he had not just interrupted their cuddle session.

Harry merely grunted in response as he grabbed a bowl and poured in some cereal.

"Tom coming down?" Remus said, yawning behind his hand.

"Maybe in a few days," said Harry. Tom's shower routine probably consisted of a million products, not that he needed them in Harry's opinion. That tall, gorgeous butthead, he thought mutinously.

Sure enough, Tom arrived and slid into the chair next to Harry, hair and skin immaculate.

A few minutes in, Harry announced, "Tom's a cuddler."

Tom shot a scorching glare at Harry, hissing when Sirius cooed and ruffled his hair. "Touch my hair one more time—"

"Isn't he adorable?" Harry said.

"Extremely," Sirius agreed.

"My adorable little Tommy-boy." Harry nuzzled into Tom's side. Sirius wrapped his arms around the pair.

Tom just sighed. "I hate you two."

"No, you don't."

'I wanna join!' Azure exclaimed, slithering up until she sat atop Tom's head.

"Remus, help me," Tom begged.

"Sirius, get off."

"Fine." Sirius reluctantly released Tom, who raised an eyebrow and glanced pointedly at Harry.

"He's your boyfriend, you deal with him," Remus said, leaning back in his chair.

Hedwig came flying in through the window and dropped an envelope on the table. She took one glance at Azure and Harry, both of whom still clung to Tom, and promptly joined them by sitting on Harry's head.

"Not you, too!" Tom groaned.

Hedwig just hooted in response and flapped her wing in his face.

Meanwhile, Sirius had opened the envelope. "It's the tickets to the Quidditch World Cup," he said. "I guess the Ministry is hoping to make up for my imprisonment. We're in the Top Box."

"We still need to think of a disguise for Tom," Harry reminded him. "Perhaps we should make him have neon hair and give him a high-pitched voice."

"No," Tom said, his tone indicating they discussed this before. "People don't normally go for outlandish appearances like that for disguises."

"Implying I'm a normal people, Riddle?" Harry retorted as he stood up, taking a last sip of his pumpkin juice, not seeming to care that Hedwig was still perched on his head.

"No, you are not a normal people— person!" Tom rolled his eyes. Harry was so infuriating sometimes.

"Your grammar is atrocious, Tom. Maybe you should be homeschooled."

"Says the guy who can't tell the difference between 'your' and 'you're.'"

"That was one time!" Harry defended himself as they began heading back to their room.

"One time more than me."

Their argument continued as they disappeared from view.

Remus and Sirius, who had been sitting in silence watching them, exchanged bemused looks before dissolving into laughter.

"Were we like that when we were younger or worse?" Sirius wondered as the laughter ceased.

"Both, I'd say," Remus replied. "At least these two don't call too much attention to themselves."

"Aw, Moony, but that's what made us so cool."

"In your dreams, Padfoot."

"Want to know what else happens in my dreams?"

Remus coughed, glaring at Sirius, who simply grinned. "That's enough out of you," he said, giving a quick flick of his wand.

"But—" was all Sirius managed to get out before he transformed into a donkey.

Remus stood up, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "Do be quiet, Sirius. You don't want to make more of an ass out of yourself."

The donkey brayed indignantly.

"You say the sweetest things." Remus smiled and made his way out of the dining room, the donkey continuing to bray insults after him.



On the morning of the Quidditch World Cup, it was Harry who woke up the others, starting by slapping a wet sponge he borrowed from Dobby onto everyone's faces.

"Har har," Sirius deadpanned as Remus yelped and bolted upright.

"Seriously?"

"Nope, just me!" Harry grinned mischievously. "Now hurry up, will you?"

Sirius groaned, wiping his face with his arm. "I stink."

"Sirius, love, you've always stank," Remus replied.

"I thought Pick-on-Sirius Day was July 31st."

"Not anymore."

While the adults were bickering, so were the teens.

"I am not going to have spiky hair," Tom deadpanned.

"All right, all right." Harry took a step back, hands raised in surrender. "Go on, Tomling. Show me what you got."

Within seconds, Tom had made himself have dark blonde hair with hazel eyes. His height had been reduced, but he was still slightly taller than Harry.

"What do you think?" Even his voice had changed, though anyone who knew him would recognize the way he spoke.

"Perfect. Now, on to names. Tom Riddle is certainly going to raise red flags," Harry said thoughtfully. "Maybe we can call you Rob Tiddle."

"That's a horrible idea. You, Harry Potter, are terrible at naming things."

"Well, I gave Azure her name. Do you think that sucks?"

"There's always an exception for everything."

"You would know, Tomalongadingdong."

Tom inhaled sharply. Why, just why was he destined to be the most infuriating person on the planet?

As if he knew what he was thinking, Harry stepped forward and planted a quick kiss on his lips. "Come on. We're going to be late."

They rejoined the adults outside.

"All right, we got Tom a new makeover and the wonderful name of Rob Tiddle."

Tom pinched the bridge of his nose. "Just call me Cody or something."

"Fine, Something. How are we getting there?" Harry asked.

"Since there's only four of us, we'll be Apparating," Remus said. "So each of you grab onto me or Sirius."

Harry grabbed onto his arm, while Tom took Sirius', and they disappeared from sight briefly. Moments later, after the sensation of being sucked through a tube, they landed in misty moors.

"There should be a Muggle up ahead," Remus said. "Let's go."

Twenty minutes later, they came across a small stone cottage next to a gate. Hundreds of tents lay beyond it.

A man stood in the doorway of the cottage.

"Morning," Sirius said. "Are you Mr. Roberts?"

"I am," the man said."And who're you?"

"Black— one tent."

"Aye," said Mr. Roberts, consulting a list tacked to the door. "You've got a space up by the wood there. Just the one night?"

"Yes."

"You'll be paying now, then?" said Mr. Roberts.

It was Remus who answered, handing over some notes.

"You're the first person in a while to not to have had trouble with money," Mr. Roberts remarked.

"Really?" Remus said.

"Two tried to pay with great gold coins the size of hubcaps, and there was this large group of redheads that took a while to sort through their notes."

Mr. Roberts fished out the change and a map and sent them on their way.

The four trudged on between the tents. Harry wondered how many times Mr. Roberts had to be Obliviated. Most of the tents looked inconspicuous enough, but here and there were tents that were obviously not Muggle-made.

"Time to set up the tent," Sirius said, rubbing his hands together.

Having never been camping, it took a while to figure out what went where, but together, they managed to prop up a decent looking tent.

"Teamwork," Harry said smugly, high-fiving Tom. "Now we can go exploring."

"Bring back some water," Remus said, holding out a saucepan and a kettle.

"And no sneaking off," Sirius added.

"We won't," Harry promised. "Let's go, Something."

For the umpteenth time that week, Tom rolled his eyes heavenward and followed.



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Reminder that I am not accepting translations for this fic or Eagle's Flight. Partly because they are super long but mostly because of the revisions I've been making. There's no point in you translating a chapter then having to redo it because I've decided to change something up.

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