Chapter 11
Eliza sat on the couch, listening to joyful sounds coming from the middle of the living room. The little baby was in a swinging bassinet, grinning and kicking at Emmy who was provoking her to smile.
"Look at who is on the couch!" Emmy cheered.
Eliza immediately pulled away from her drafted email and looked at the cheerful baby in the bassinet. Little fidgets and gurgles animated the little person and her mother was already lost in a daze.
"Who?" Emmy teased over and over again, while tickling her little stomach. "You always perk up whenever I ask who you're so excited to see."
"Does she really?" Eliza muttered with concern, out of the blue.
Emmy's look of surprise was directed at an anxious expression, "Of course, Eliza."
Eliza was still trying her best to make sure that her confession to Troy wasn't her just talking in the heat of the moment. Not often did she allow herself to become overly emotional, but Troy's compassion let her have a moment to say just what was on her mind.
Emmy continued to play with the bright-eyed baby, mimicking the small coos, "Loo loo loo loo!"
"She misses me?" Eliza questioned again.
"She loves you," Emmy chuckled, sending her fingers over the small belly again. "She'll always love her mommy."
Eliza closed her laptop and placed it beside her with haste. She kept wondering why everything she did took a second-guess if her decision no longer felt like a mistake.
"Do what you want," Emmy quietly encouraged, getting up from the floor.
"I don't want to bother her," Eliza admitted with worry.
Emmy raised a brow and tilted her head at her with a lack of amusement, "Child, please. All she'll ever want from you– now– is your touch."
Pleased as she observed the new mom carefully picking up her baby, Emmy crossed her arms in delight and took in a deep breath. She wasn't sure that Eliza would ever get to this point, but something had happened over the past week that must have made Eliza want to keep her.
Emmy watched the large-eyed baby quiet down and stare over her mother's worried face.
"How does that feel?" Emmy lowly questioned.
"I don't know. She's not smiling," Eliza sighed.
Emmy stood up and cracked her back, "Try bringing her close, mama."
As soon as Eliza did as she was told, a gummy smile was on the small face. Drool was following, but before Emmy could wipe the little baby's mouth, Eliza held her to the breast and removed it with her palm.
Emmy curled her lips inside to contain the excitement as she ran into the kitchen to wash a few more tiny bottles. All she could do was hope that Eliza was never going to question keeping the little girl around, and it was proving that things were going her way when she ventured back out into the living room to witness Eliza holding her baby close to her neck.
"Are you okay, Eliza?" Emmy asked when she took a few steps near.
The mom wiped her face and sniffed before nodding. Emmy knew why she was crying, and she was sure it wasn't due to frustration this time.
"You're happy?" Emmy whimpered.
Eliza looked up to her with reddened eyes, before putting the little one back into her bassinet. Within seconds, Eliza was rushing into her bedroom. Emmy rubbed her nose, while looking after the open door. She approached it to touch the frame– leaning in to hear that Eliza was crying in her bathroom.
Emmy's head hung low as she approached the baby, but she couldn't be sad. Eliza was coming to a realization that she wasn't quite ready to confess. Suddenly Emmy was forced to leave those thoughts for another time when she heard a soft knock at the door.
The short woman quietly hurried to the entrance and stood on her toes to peek through the eyehole.
"Oh!" Emmy squeaked before unlatching and opening the door.
"Hi, Emmy!" Helen happily greeted.
"Oh come in, come in!" Emmy insisted, but Helen shook her head.
"I just came to drop off these flowers for Eliza," she smirked. "It would be rude of me to actually come in unannounced."
Emmy pouted while she took the vase filled with gorgeous fresh flowers.
"Are you sure? I can just go and tell Eliza that you're here," Emmy tried, showing all of her pearly-white teeth.
"Who's here?" Eliza suddenly asked while peeking around the corner with a tissue over her nose.
"Hi Eliza, I just came to bring you those flowers Ms. Emmy's got in her hands," Helen smiled.
"Oh... oh! Thank you. Come in," Eliza sniffed before running out of sight again.
"Are you sure? We don't mean to impose," Helen cringed.
"We?" Emmy muttered.
Helen smirked, rolled her eyes, and stepped to the side. Charlie was hiding behind her mom's legs, and she smiled as soon as she saw Emmy's face.
"Get in here!" Emmy laughed, before tilting her head and displaying an evil leer at Helen while they stepped inside.
"You're a trip, Ms. Emmy," Helen chuckled.
Emmy just shimmied her shoulders before prancing into the kitchen. After placing the flowers on the counter, Helen walked around on the other side and sat on a stool. However, Charlie wasn't following her. Petting a daisy, Helen was watching Emmy gnaw at the food packet for the flowers. Laughing hysterically, she was shaking her head at the woman who was growing angrier by the second. It was even more funny when Emmy jumped up from Charlie suddenly tapping at her leg.
"Helen?" Eliza peeped from behind.
"Hi!" she exclaimed, jumping up and leaning down a little to hug Eliza.
Taken aback by the kind gesture, Eliza looked to Emmy who was smiling before giving up to fetch a pair of scissors.
"Thank you for these," Eliza muttered, while approaching the small vase full of colorful daisies and chrysanthemums.
"No problem, but please do ignore the card in there. It was neat until my brother got to it," Helen frowned.
Eliza opened the small card and smiled when she read Helen's signature that was before Troy's. However, his signature abruptly trailed off the page.
"Yeah, right there was when I pushed him," Helen shrugged with leveled eyes.
Eliza chuckled, and placed it back beside the bowl.
"I really appreciate this, Helen," she smirked.
"No problem. Troy was mad that he wasn't able to make it since he had another obligation today. He's threatening to get me back," Helen said with joy– evil joy.
Eliza looked down, and her smile faded a little. The interaction between Helen and Troy was something that she had to envy. If only she and Peter were that close, she was sure things would be different in a good way. She liked being alone, but lately she had to wonder if it was simply because she was used to it.
"Is everything okay, Eliza?" Helen asked, tilting her head down.
"Oh yes, I'm fine," she answered in shock. "Stay for lunch or something?
Eliza's last question made her turn to Emmy in panic, but Emmy's eyes opened wide with excitement.
"Oh, geez, we don't want to be a bother," Helen began with fright.
"I owe you," Eliza smiled.
After letting Helen retreat to the living room, Eliza slowly walked into the kitchen and began to pull out vegetables from the refrigerator.
"What are you doing?" Emmy asked in surprise while snuggling Charlie close to her cheek.
"Going to prepare food?" Eliza answered with furrowed brows.
Emmy looked around with confusion before looking back at Eliza, slowly inching out, "But you hired... me... to do that."
"Take a break?" Eliza questioned again, but this time her lips were curling up.
"For real?" Emmy muttered under her breath, and Eliza nodded.
Though her hair was up in a bun, Emmy dramatically faux swung her hair to the side with one hand and sighed to Charlie, "The luxury of it all."
Eliza was snickering to herself, after Emmy strutted out of the kitchen and over to Helen who was obviously trying to hold herself back from picking up the sleeping baby.
Eliza didn't hesitate to give permission to Helen when she asked, and within seconds Helen's eyes were in a dreamy state as she removed the child in the bassinet.
Helen's bottom lip quivered as she slowly walked back over to the counter with Eliza's baby.
"She's absolutely adorable," Helen whispered, before petting her finger along a chubby caramel cheek.
"Thank you," Eliza blushed, shyly accepting the compliment for the first time.
"Sometimes I miss when Charlie was this little," Helen admitted, her smile fading a bit. "I remember when she would just look at me for so long without blinking when I held her like this."
"Are you alright?" Eliza quickly asked, while Helen lifted up her head to show flushed cheeks.
She took in a deep breath, and the brimming tears never fell as she quickly recovered from herself from her sad state.
"I'm sorry. I was just a little overwhelmed for a second," Helen chuckled.
"I think I understand that feeling, except my episodes are... well they're episodes," Eliza admitted with embarrassment.
Continuing to shave at the carrot, she watched as Helen looked back at her little girl. They saw a small yawn, and Helen smiled big all over again.
"May I ask about the dad?" Helen suddenly prompted.
Eliza almost dropped the vegetable, but she took in a deep breath and tilted her head to the side.
Eliza didn't think she would be so quick to answer, but she did, starting, "He and I had a few, inappropriate flings which resulted in my pregnancy. The moment I found out I was a few weeks along, I thought it was only right to tell him. Of course, I should have known how he would react, but I never knew he would instantly shun me."
"You should have known how he would react?" Helen prompted.
"He and I... he is a coworker of mine," Eliza shakily answered. " He and I have worked with each other for years, and he had always been a little sweeter to me from the beginning. I didn't think anything of it at first because I wasn't thinking about a relationship, but it was a year ago that he became more forward and asked me out for a drink. I typically spend most of my time alone, simply because that is what I'm used to.
Yet... it was just something about him wanting to spend time with me that I didn't want to second guess. Many of my past friendships and relationships died with ease because I wouldn't maintain them. The idea of trust is... was not something I knew how to carry. However, him coming around made me realize that it was nice to not always be by yourself."
Helen watched as Eliza slowly chopped more vegetables while rubbing her nose and eyes with her sleeves.
Helen shrugged, "You know... there was nothing wrong with what happened. I believe it's human nature to have many moments where we need to be around other people, even if we don't think we can or even want to. You don't have to be alone in any situation, but I completely... understand."
Eliza looked up to Helen who was looking down at her baby again, asking "You don't think it was foolish for me to–"
"What? Entertain mutual feelings? You knew that you didn't want a relationship, but when you saw a possibility of something nice you took it. Where is the crime in that?" Helen returned.
"He is my coworker," Eliza tried to reason.
"He's a person too. So, proximity is bound to be a contributing factor to a relationship in any place. It's only understandable. I don't see anything wrong with what you did, but it seems as though you're blaming yourself."
"I can't help but do that. I should have taken more time to evaluate the situation, and I could have made better decisions..." Eliza faded out.
Helen smirked, seeing as to how Eliza appeared almost sickly at her last words.
"Don't worry. It's not a crime to have let 'the decisions' run through your head in an unexpected scenario. You didn't plan on becoming pregnant with a coworker's child before things could turn into what you were hoping for. But accidents happen... because we're human. It's all about how we can turn them lemons into lemonade," Helen said with conviction.
Eliza scoffed with a sad smile, "But I'm not cut out to be a mother."
"You still have her. It's the effort that you're showing now that says everything about what you're capable of being."
Eliza dropped the knife and ran the back of her hand against her forehead. She was still in disbelief that she still had her baby.
"Eliza, my brother may have not said so aloud to me, but I know why he insisted on us meeting." Helen stated with a smile. "Charlie was an accident as well, and my situation also had me thinking about 'those decisions'."
Eliza was begging for Helen to go on with her eyes. Helen looked up to the ceiling and took in a deep breath before shaking her head and curling her lips inward.
When her head finally leveled with Eliza's again, she confessed, "My husband was killed in action when he was deployed overseas. Right after the memorial, I didn't know what to do with any aspect of my life anymore. I didn't eat, and I couldn't sleep. So when my brother found me unconscious and on the ground in my kitchen, I woke up later in the hospital. All of the stress took a toll on everything that I had, and within hours of the doctor explaining what had happened, he also added in that I was a few weeks pregnant."
"Oh my God," Eliza whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I can't even imagine..."
"It's okay. Neither could I. That's why I thought about having an abortion. I thought long and hard about it because the father to this child was never going to be in their life. I was already a single mom before I even knew it, and the thought kills me to know what it would have been like to have heard the news together– what it would be like to see the smile on his face knowing that we were finally starting the family that we had always wanted."
"Why did you decide not to terminate?" Eliza quietly pondered.
Helen paused for a moment, admiring the familiar concern in bright brown eyes that begged her to go on, "The change of heart happened in a moment I will never forget. On the last night, in the hospital, I woke up from another long nap. I couldn't move, not because I was unable to, but... my hand. My left hand, with the wedding ring my beautiful husband had given to me, was rested over my stomach. I never sleep on my back, and before I fell asleep, I was surely turned to my side. But that moment I woke up... I was looking down at the hand that he always held first before the other– always admiring the solid gold commitment whenever he could.
Many people don't believe in many things– God, spirits, or miracles. But there are times when it doesn't matter what others believe in when you experience a moment that you can't explain."
"How do you do it?" Eliza whimpered. "How do just have... faith in a decision like that?"
Helen's teary eyes were warm, "It's starts where you and I both know– with love. That's all most of us ever want."
Eliza looked down at her baby, but Helen added, "I wasn't referring to the father. I was talking about you. Deep down you know what you're capable of and what you want. And when you were faced with his rejection, it probably made you think about some things you would never ever consider. Even while you may have been planning to take measures where you saw fit, you were still fantasizing about those things."
And now... the tightly-balled fists and chubby cheeks were no longer a daydream.