Epilogue
Jean and Rogue strolled in the mansion grounds. There was still a lot of landscaping to do, but at least the weather was nice.
"So did the break do you good?" Rogue asked.
Jean shrugged, a very unlike Jean thing to do.
"Scott and I connected but... well, let's just say it didn't do as much as I'd have liked for my mental state."
"I know the feeling," Rogue sympathised. "You can run but you can't hide."
"Exactly!" Jean smiled.
In many ways, they were both suffering similar traumas, Rogue with her kidnap and Jean with the Phoenix, had left both of them with a little PTSD. It had been the professors idea that they start talking, and although Jean had been away on vacation, they resumed the sessions as soon as she got back.
"I just... I can't stop thinking about what it did, you know? I was there, I saw it all, but I was powerless to stop it."
"You couldn't have stopped it, Jean. Sometimes people, or things, do stuff to us or make us do things that we hate but can't help, and then make us feel like bad people, but you just have to try and remember that you were just a witness, like watching a television program."
There was silence for a moment.
"How are your nightmares?" Jean finally asked.
"Not too bad. Better than they used to be, even before all this with Weapon X, especially with Remy there. He's like my own personal dream catcher."
"How are your rooms coming?" Jean asked.
"Mostly done. All the furniture's been delivered but it's still rather cold. We're going shopping this weekend, see if we can pick up some homey touches, vases, cushions, pictures, that kind of thing."
"Does he still want to install a kitchenette?"
"Yeah," Rogue smiled. She didn't mind really, but she thought that they could easily use the mansion facilities. "Worst thing though, is that he spotted the old boat house the other day, now he's angling to do it up and for us to move in there."
Jean couldn't decipher Rogue's tone.
"That thing is just a shell!"
"I know, but he wants to do it up, or rebuild it." She sighed.
"You don't want that?"
"I just... I'm a little young, you know, to be settling down in domestic bliss."
Jean didn't know what to say to that, but thankfully Rogue continued, saving her the need to reply.
"It's not that I don't love him, and lord knows I feel years older than I actually am but part of me is just rebelling against becoming some cookie cutter couple, you know?"
"I think so," Jean smiled. "Just because you don't want your own home, doesn't mean that you don't love him. This mansion has been your home for years now, Rogue, in fact I'd be surprised if it was easy for you to leave."
Rogue nodded idly, still turning the situation over in her mind.
"How did you leave things?" Jean asked.
"We didn't really, just said we'd talk about it in a few months. Maybe when Sarah moves into the main dorms in a few years or something."
"Is he pressuring you?"
"No," Rogue smiled. "He's just so excited about the idea, you know? It's hard to be the one to rain on his parade."
Jean laughed.
"What?" Rogue demanded.
"Nothing, I just didn't think I'd ever see the day when you found it hard to assert your opinions."
Though she felt like she should be mad as such a judgement, Rogue knew that what's Jean said had more than a ring of truth to it.
"Yeah, I guess my ball busting days are over," she said with a smile.
"Not completely over, I hope, maybe just toned down?"
"Yeah," Rogue grinned.
They fell into silence once more. As they walked, Rogue could feel that Jean had something to say but was nervous; you didn't have to be a telepath to figure that one out."
"Sometimes I miss it," Jean finally confessed, sitting at the cliff edge to look into the sea below. Rogue sat beside her.
"Miss what?"
"The Phoenix." Jean hung her head. "I don't know how to explain it and I didn't notice it until after it was gone, but now I feel so... empty. Sometimes I don't even care what it did, it had always been a part of me and I want it back."
"Just like flying's a blessing and a burden to me. You know, no matter what they did to me, they did teach me to recall other peoples gifts and without that, I couldn't have helped you. I think that sometimes good things can come from bad experiences, don't you?."
Jean smiled slightly and Rogue continued.
"Recognising the good in bad things doesn't make you a bad person. Nothing is all good or all evil."
"That sounds like something I might have said once. Maybe I used to believe that but now? It's just so hard to stay positive sometimes."
Rogue nodded. "You know, Remy once told me that when he feels down, he makes a list of ten things in his head that he was grateful for. It was something he was told when he lived on the streets, and he said it really helped."
"A homeless boy had things to be grateful for?" Jean sounded sceptical.
"He said that as long as he stole enough to eat, could dress himself and and found shelter for the night, then there were people a lot worse off than him. Plus, he wasn't dying from some horrible disease, or stressed about bills, and if he didn't have anyone to love him, then he would never be pained by their loss. He said it was hard to feel angry or frustrated if you're feeling grateful."
Jean was silent for a while before replying. "I'm beginning to think that your Remy has more depth to his character than any of us imagined."
"He hides it well," Rogue said with a wry grin.
Jean smiled in reply and silently began composing her gratitude list. If a street kid could be grateful, then as mixed up as she felt, surely she could find ten things too.
They walked in companionable silence for a while longer, then Rogue checked her watch.
"We'd better head in and get ready."
"You go." Jean smiled. "I think I'd just like a few more moments to see if I can get my list up to twenty."
"What number are you at now?"
"17, and for the moment, stuck there."
Rogue gave her a quick hug, then headed inside the mansion.
"Seriously, Rogue, you cannot make me wear this? My reputation will be ruined!"
"Why not?" Rogue asked as she checked her reflection in the mirror. Her dress was gorgeous, if she did say so herself. A deep purple shade, it had a fitted bodice, held in place with spaghetti straps and a full, flared skirt that came to her knees in front but dipped down to mid calf at the back. There was nothing at all obscene about the outfit, though it still felt weird to show so much skin in public. She was glad that the outfit had some matching satin gloves since although she didn't need them, they were a comfort to her.
For so long her gloves had felt like a prison and she had wished for a day when she might no longer need them. She felt a little foolish wearing them now that she didn't need them, but Remy had assured her that it wasn't cowardice; they only came to her wrist after all, so her arms were uncovered. Baby steps, he called it, and somehow managed to make it sound reassuring, not condescending.
"I pick out that killer outfit for you and you're honestly going to make me wear this?" Remy asked again.
Rogue turned to look at him and couldn't help the smile that formed on her lips.
"You did agree that you would wear anything I picked out for you," she reminded him. "And it is a tuxedo."
"From the 1970s!"
In duck egg blue with darker blue piping down the side of the pants, it was indeed a throwback from a decade that fashion forgot. In fact the hideousness of the suit was only topped by the ruffled, off white dress shirt he was wearing, with matching duck egg blue bow tie.
It was so awful that not even his sexy eyes and five o'clock shadow could save his image.
"I'm gonna be a laughing stock!" he said, shaking his head in despair.
Rogue laughed. "Then maybe next time you'll let me chose my own clothes."
"But you love that dress!"
"Yes I do, but you know that you have been foisting clothes on me ever since we got to New Orleans. You can suggest things, swamp rat, but remember this the next time you try and force something on me."
"Chère!" Remy gave her the puppy dog eyes. "Mon amour, have pity on a lowly Cajun?""
Rogue tried to resist but she was a slave to the puppy dog eyes.
"All right, fine, you can change after an hour, and that's my final offer."
Remy smiled. "I think I can last an hour."
"An hour after the party starts, that is."
His face dropped but Rogue disappeared next door, through the living room and into Sarah's room, before he could try any more underhand tactics.
"How's it going in here?" Rogue asked.
Kitty and Sarah turned to her, both smiling.
"Great," Kitty said. "I'm nearly finished."
Rogue eyed Sarah's party dress that was hanging outside the wardrobe.
"You better get a move on yourself, Kitty, party starts in half an hour."
"I know. Can you help her with the dress while I go and change?"
"Sure thing."
Now that Sarah had an image inducer she had freely agreed to go shopping with Kitty for her dress, though after trying on over a dozen different ones, Sarah was beginning to see why Rogue avoided going to the mall with Kitty like the plague.
"Can I use my image inducer tonight?" Sarah asked.
"Sorry, honey, tonight is come as you are."
Sarah knew that the inducer was only for use outside of the mansion but it seemed that she enjoyed looking normal so much that she wanted to use it all the time. While the inducer was good for blending in while in public, both Remy and Rogue had agreed that it's use should be banned in the house since they both knew that she had to come to terms with who she was. They hoped that one day, she could feel comfortable enough to go out without the image inducer, although that had just as much to do with public acceptance as it did Sarah's self confidence.
Kitty placed one final clip in Sarah's hair, sprayed enough hair-spray to make Rogue gag, then sauntered off to get dressed. Rogue knew that this was her and Piotr's first official outing as a couple, so her friend was understandably nervous.
Tonight was a joint 'welcome home' to the mutants who had been away on holiday or back home with their folks, and a 'Hey look, it's brand spanking new mansion' party. The mutants who had gone on holiday had arrived back yesterday morning, and other students had been dropped off in dribs and drabs by their parents ever since. The mansion still wasn't completely finished but it was just finishing touches, like the odd carpet, art work and plants still to do.
Remy and Rogue had moved into their suite of rooms about a week ago and when not working on the mansion, had turned their rooms into a homey place. Most of the furniture was bough new but some of it Remy had sent for from home, which really made it feel like theirs. Rogue didn't quite understand why items from Remys home would make her feel at home, but she was past questioning such things. Besides, the only things Rogue had ever owned which she could contribute to a room were her Nine Inch Nails posters, which had sadly perished in the fire.
She didn't really mind, she felt like she was moving beyond being a teenager now, and into a new and exciting phase of her life.
Once dressed, in a shade of pink slightly darker than her hair, Sarah looked lovely.
"Can I go show the others?" she asked.
"Sure," Rogue assured her, kissing her forehead and giving her a quick hug. "We'll meet you down stairs, okay?"
"Okay!" Sarah ran out and Rogue ventured back to Remy, who had taken to pacing the living room like a caged lion.
"Come on, swamp rat, let's see if they need any help setting up."
Remy muttered something under his breath but duly offered her his elbow as a good escort should.
There were a few people in the rec room when they entered, and each and every one of them fell silent as Remy and Rogue walked in. Remy squared his shoulders and shrugged.
"What?" he asked, causing a chorus of laughter to ring out.
He handled his embarrassment with equanimity, acting as though nothing was wrong and after half an hour, Rogue relented.
"Okay, swamp rat, you can go change, under one condition."
"Oui?"
"Whatever you come back dressed in has got to make me swoon."
"Or what?"
"Or you'll be wearing the blue tux to every formal occasion from now till eternity."
Remy grinned, clearly seeing no problem with winning this bet. He kissed her cheek, then sprinted off up stairs.
Rogue mingled for a while, being as sociable as a loner could be. The professor would be proud. She was chatting to Amara and Kitty when Kitty stopped talking mid sentence and both girls mouth's hung agape.
"What?" Rogue asked, turning around.
Strolling down the mansion stairs, looking like some kind of bad boy posing as a sexy GQ model, came Remy. His tux was simple, black with a white shirt and black bow tie, but man, did he ever know how to wear that suit. It must have been one of those $2,000 ones or something, the ones that were perfectly tailored because although it was simple, Rogue could just eat him up.
Most of the girls and women stopped to stare as he swaggered past them, his eyes glued to Rogue. She felt like he should have a sound track accompanying his entrance or something, I'm Sexy and I Know It would do in a pinch but really, he needed something much classier.
He walked straight up to her, grabbed her waist and dipper her slightly for a perfect Hollywood kiss. Logan growled but kept the volume low. To be fair thought, Rogue wouldn't have heard a lion growing right beside her at the moment. Remy then pulled back slightly and stared down at her for a second, smirking like the cat who got the cream, before he pulled her upright again.
"Okay," Rogue said, feeling rather flustered. "You win."
Remy held out his hand. "Dance, chère?"
No one was dancing at the moment, but there was music playing and certainly enough space. Besides, she doubted that she could have said no even had her life depended on it. He led her to a relatively clear section of the room then pulled her into his arms. The song changed to Queen's You're My Best Friend, and Remy smiled, remembering their discussion of Queen during their escape, and their not too melodic rendition of Gloria Estefan. Rogue smiled back, clearly having similar thoughts, though she stifled a giggle at the memory. Who would have thought that Rogue would ever have to suppress an urge to giggle?
More importantly though, who would ever have thought that Rogue could even smile about an event so closely linked to her ordeal? Certainly not Rogue herself, and she knew that she had this man before her to thank for her slightly more optimistic outlook on life. They had both suffered so much in their young lives, but somehow Remy had taught her that there was still fun to be had and pleasures to be taken, so long as you didn't let the bad overwhelm you.
A few other people decided that dancing was a good idea and joined them, but neither Rogue nor Remy noticed. It was like their world had shrunk down to just them for a few moments, and they were taking full advantage if that fact.
"I thought I took you home with me when we went to New Orleans, but it was you who took me home, the moment I met you."
Rogue smiled, feeling tears prick her eyes. "You make this place a home for me," she said. "Anywhere you are feels like home."
Remy's eyes lit up with pleasure. "I love you, mon coeur."
"I love you too, sugar."
Remy lowered his head to kiss her again, when something tugged at his jacket. He looked down to see Sarah standing there, her arms held up towards them.
"I wanna dance too!"
Perhaps they would both have been within their rights to be angry at the intrusion, but Sarah was just not the kind of girl that it was easy to be angry with. Remy stooped down, picked her up and rested her on his hip. One arm held Sarah in place while the other went around Rogue's waist again. Rogue also wrapped her free arm around Sarah, while the little girl put her arms around Remy and Rogue's necks.
"Are you having fun, mon mignon?" Remy asked.
"So much," Sarah smiled. "I love it here."
"Good," Rogue kissed her cheek.
"You are staying though, right? You won't leave me here?"
"We could never leave you," Rogue assured her.
"Non, we couldn't," Remy agreed.
Perhaps they were both too young for a family, but that was certainly what they had, and neither Rogue nor Remy could find the will to mind very much at all.