Chapter 17: A Tough Principle
"You do the right thing even if it makes you feel bad. The purpose of life is not to be happy but to be worthy of happiness." - Tracy Kidder
"Keep a good attitude and do the right thing even when it's hard. When you do that you are passing the test. And God promises you your marked moments are on their way." - Joel Osteen
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"SAAN ba tayo pupunta?" Eunice curiously asked.
Pinagbuksa ni Terrence ng pintuan si Cyla sa backseat at pagkatapos ay pinagbuksan din siya nito sa harap.
"I found this certain country club in the North. It's big yet intimate. They got all the facilities that are perfect for couples and kids," sagot nito bago isara ang pinto ng kotse pagkasakay niya.
"I'm so excited, Mommy!" Cyla squeled in glee at the backseat. "Papa said that I can play all I want there!"
Nilingon niya ito at nginitian. "Do you know about all of this? Do you know that were going on a trip today?"
"No, Mommy. I woke up early and I saw Papa already fixing my things," she answered in her cute Australian accent. "Then he said, we are all going to paradise and I was so excited and I was so happy because he promised that I will have fun and you two can play with me."
Sumakay si Terrence sa driver's seat pagkatapos nitong i-check ang kondisyon ng kotse at pagbilinan si Mang Emman. Call it paranoid but everyday, they do check their cars, its engine and such. They can't afford another accident like what happened in Cebu. Isa pa, buti ngang hindi na sila takot sumakay at magmaneho ng kotse ngayon.
Binuksan na ni Mang Emman ang gate at nilabas na ni Terrence ang kotse. Cyla waved good bye to Mang Emman and she did also, then they were off to the road.
Habang nasa biyahe ay hindi sila nag-uusap ni Terrence. Parang nagpapakiramdaman. Gusto sana ni Eunice na sabihin na ritong maayos na siya at pinapatawad niya na ito. Pero hindi niya alam kung saan sisimulan.
At parang hindi naman maganda kung nasa kotse sila at mag-uusap sila ng masinsinan habang may bata sa likod nila. Although, hindi naman masyadong nakakaintindi ng Filipino si Cyla, parang mas maganda pa rin kung sila lang munang dalawa ni Terrence ang mag-usap.
Mas tumagal pa ang katahimikan. Seryosong nagmamaneho lang si Terrence at siya nakatingin lang sa labas ng bintana at yakap-yakap niya ang sarili.
Then, Eunice realized that she's still wearing her nightgown and she didn't even got a chance to wash her face, comb his hair, and even brush her teeth!
Bigla tuloy siyang napatingin sa rearview mirror ng kotse. "Oh, my gosh! I look like a mess!" Medyo naniningkit pa kasi ang mata niya dahil bago pa siyang gising, medyo maputla pa rin siya, at gulo-gulo pa nga ang buhok niya. May muta pa nga ata siya sa mga mata.
Napasulyap sa kanya si Terrence at nang ibalik ang atensyon sa daanan ay napangiti ito. "What a beautiful mess you are," he murmured.
"Should I take that as a complement?"
Lumapat ang isa nitong kamay sa buhok niya at marahang hinagod-hagod iyon. "Kahit ano namang itsura mo, maganda ka pa rin. You're just too beautiful at any angle, in any mood, in any look."
Napakurap siya. May nararamdaman kasi siya. Nararamdaman niyang may parang kumikiliti sa puso niya. At araw-araw naman siyang sinasabihan ng asawa na maganda siya, pero bakit kinikilig pa rin siya?
Maybe because it's in the way that Terrence always says it. Lagi siya nitong sinasabihang maganda sa paraang mararamdaman niya talaga na totoo ang sinasabi nito at hindi lang para gumaan ang pakiramdam niya.
Pagkatapos nitong ayusin ang buhok niya ay bumalik sila sa katahimikan. Nilingon niya si Cyla. Masyadong engrossed ang bata sa pagtingin sa labas ng bintana kaya pala tahimik.
She sighed. "Bakit kasi hindi mo ako hinayaang makapagpalit man lang ng damit bago tayo umalis?" tanong niya kay Terrence.
"Baka kasi kapag pinatagal pa kita, hindi ka sumama."
"So, you took me by surprise?"
"Exactly. Para wala ka ng maisip na rason para magpaiwan."
Gusto sanang sabihin ni Eunice rito na willing naman siyang sumama rito kahit saan dahil wala rin naman siyang rason para tanggihan ito. She won't be cold towards him, anymore. But something's telling her not to tell Terrence yet that she's already okay.
Parang nagpapakipot pa 'ko, ganoon?
"Well, at least, you could have dragged me after I brushed my teeth."
"Mommy, you want water?" biglang singit ni Cyla sabay abot sa kanya ng bottled water. "And candy?" And she handed her a small jar of candies.
She chuckled. "Oh, this is perfect. Thanks, baby." Inabot niya ang mga iyon. "Where did these come from?"
"Papa put it inside my bag. The candy is nice, Mommy. It freshes the breath."
"Perfect!" Pagkuwa'y napatingin siya kay Terrence. "Why is it I have this feeling na planado mong lahat 'to? Na hindi mo talaga ako hahayaang makapag-toothbrush man lang?"
He hid his smile. Pero halata naman iyon sa mga mata nito. "Ang plano ko, dapat tulog ka para hindi ka talaga makapalag kapag sinama kita. Kaso nagising ka," then he shrugged.
Nagising siya at akala niya ay iiwan na siya nito. False alarm lang pala.
"Hindi ko nadala ang phone ko."
"Mas mabuti. Geoff and Alfred can't contact you."
"But they're my friends."
"And they had you these past few days. Let me have you now," he possessively said.
Itinago niya ang pagngiti. "Ano bang gagawin natin sa country club a.k.a paradise?" tanong na lang niya. Uminom na rin siya ng tubig at saka kumuha ng candy sa jar.
"I told you... I will gain your trust back."
Sa isip ni Eunice, hindi naman nito kailangang gawin iyon. Because when she forgave him, it's another choice of continuing loving and trusting him freely. Pero parang gusto niya ring malaman kung paano nito gagawin iyon. "And how will you do that?" she intriguingly asked.
"Gagawin ko ang isang bagay na hindi mo 'ko hinayaang gawin noon," sagot nito at sandali siyang sinulyapan.
Napaisip siya. "And what's that?"
"I'll court you."
Wala sa oras na nakagat niya ang sinisip na candy. "W-What?"
"Liligawan kita. Di'ba ganoon naman talaga? Para makuha ng lalaki ang pagtitiwala ng babae, nanliligaw sila? Kaya liligawan kita," anito. "Kahapon lang nang maisip ko na kahit kailan pala, hindi kita naligawan."
That's true. She never experienced being courted by Terrence.
"Ginawa mo ang mga bagay dati sa paraan mo. Then, let me have my way now," he added.
"O...kay. But isn't it crazy for you to court me? I mean, mag-asawa na tayo..."
"Pero hindi pa kita naligawan kahit kailan. Alam mo ba kung paano ako manligaw?"
Umiling siya. "H-how?" And she suddenly felt excited.
He mysteriously smiled. "You'll see."
Napatingin siya sa labas ng bintana at hindi na napigilan ang sariling mapangiti. Kung "liligawan" siya nito, puwede bang magpakipot pa siya ng kahit kaunti?
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SA HABA ng naging biyahe na naging traffic pa, hindi na namalayan ni Eunice na nakatulog na pala siya.
Nagising na lang siya na nakahiga na siya sa isang malambot at malaking kama. Hindi agad siya bumangon at nilibot muna ang paningin kung nasaan siya. Maliwanag ang buong kuwarto dahil sa dalawang malaking bintana na nakabukas ang kurtina. Sikat na sikat ang araw sa labas pero malamig sa loob ng kuwarto dahil sa aircon.
Simple at mukhang native type ang kuwarto. Halos lahat ng gamit na nakikita niya ay gawa sa rattan. May built-in closet sa kaliwa ng kama habang may CR ata sa kanan.
Napabangon lang siya ng biglang bumukas ang pinto at tumatakbong pumasok si Cyla. "Mommy! You're awake! Ohhhhh! Papa and I just toured the whole place. And this place is very big! They have swimming pools, a beach, a playground, a park and many many more!" tuluy-tuloy na sabi nito at saka umakyat ng higaan. "There's lots of kids, too, that I can play with! And there's this place here that sells unlimited ice cream! How awesome is that, Mommy? It's so cool!" masayang-masayang sabi nito.
Eunice find herself laughing. Gaano katagal ba siyang nakatulog at nagawa nang maglibot ng mag-ama sa buong country club?
"Gising ka na pala."
Napaangat siya ng tingin at nakita si Terrence sa may pinto na may bitbit na pagkain. Kumalam naman agad ang sikmura niya. Hindi pa pala siya kumakain ng breakfast at mukhang nalipasan na rin siya ng tanghalian.
"Hinihintay ka naming magising kanina para sabay-sabay tayo makapamasyal. Pero masyado nang nainip si Cyla kaya inuna ko muna siya."
Tumango siya at napatingin sa dala nito. "That's food, right? I want to eat."
"Very well. Ihahanda ko na 'to sa lamesa. Sumunod ka na lang kapag nakapag-ayos ka na. Yung mga damit mo nasa closet. Kompleto na rin ang toiletries sa banyo," anito at saka tinwag ang anak. "Come on, darling, let's prepare food for Mommy."
Mabilis naman na bumaba ng higaan si Cyla at sumama kay Terrence. Lumabas ulit ang mga ito at sinara ang pintuan.
Nakakilos naman agad siya. She had a quick shower and wore a yellow sundress na agad niyang nakita sa closet. She let her wet hair loose and applied some cream on her face. Paglabas niya ng kuwarto ay bumungad sa kanya ang isa simple looking living area and dining area. May maliit at malinis rin na kitchen sa bandang dulo ng villa. Katulad sa loob ng kuwarto, mostly ay gawa sa rattan ang nakikita niyang furnitures.
"Papa, is that chicken?"
"Yes, darling. You want some?"
"No. I like the white spaghetti more. Can I have?"
"You say it in Tagalog, first."
"How?"
Umupo si Terrence sa tabi ng anak. "Say, 'Pahingi po'."
"Pa-hi-ngi-po," then she smiled. "Pahingi po, Papa."
Cyla really sounded funny and cute when talking in Tagalog.
"Good girl." Binigyan na ito ng spaghetti ni Terrence.
"Thank you."
"In Filipino?"
"Salamat...po." Halatang hinabol lang ang 'po'.
Eunice chuckled and joined them. Nang makita siya ni Terrence ay napatayo ito at pinaghila siya ng upuan. Umupo naman agad siya at mabilis na natakam nang makita ang pagkain.
Hindi pa siya nagsasalita kung anong gusto niyang kainin pero agad nang nailagay ni Terrence sa plato niya ang mga pagkain na paborito niyang kainin. Tamang kanin, sweet and sour fish, and chicken legs. Sa isang hiwalay na plato ay may white spaghetti at toasted garlic bread. Then a glass of fresh mango juice.
"Ahm... thanks," she said then started eating. Ngumiti ito at pinagitnaan nila si Cyla.
Hindi na naman sila nag-usap. Tahimik na naman. Dahil gutom, hinayaan na lang ni Eunice. Wala rin naman siyang maisip na topic na pag-uusapan.
Pagkatapos niyang kumain ay inaya siya ni Terrence na maglakad-lakad sa labas. Pumayag siya at sabay-sabay silang lumabas na tatlo.
As usual, tahimik na naman silang dalawa. Parehas lang silang nakikinig sa mga kuwento ni Cyla tungkol sa pamamasyal ng mga ito kanina.
Mataas ang sikat ng araw pero dahil sa dami ng puno na nasa paligid at sa sariwang hangin na umiihip ay hindi naging ganoong kainit.
Napakalaki nga ng lugar katulad ng sinabi ni Cyla at ang mga bahay o villas ay magkakatulad lang ng style-bungalow typed and natively designed. Hindi marami ang tao pero nahalata niya na pamilya ang karamihan.
"What country club is this?" she asked.
"Family Paradise. We are somewhere near Olongapo."
Napatangu-tango siya. The name of the country club is obviously exclusive for families. At tila nasa paraiso nga sila dahil napaka-peaceful at tanging tawanan lang ng masasayang bata ang naririnig niya.
The parents looked happy, too. Kahit saan tumingin si Eunice ay masasayang pamilya ang nakikita niya. And she felt the good vibes in the place.
Hindi alam ni Eunice kung gaano na kahaba ang nilalakad nilang tatlo. Nakarating na lang sila sa isang malaking playground na agad na tinakbo ni Cyla. Hinayaan lang ito ni Terrence. At nang akmang susundan niya ang bata ay hinagip ni Terrence ang kanyang kamay.
"Come on, I'll show you the country club's chapel."
"Pero paano si Cyla?"
"She knows her way. Alam niya kung paano umuwi sa villa at alam niya kung paano tayo pupuntahan sa chapel. This place is safe for kids."
Hindi naman kataka-taka na ligtas nga ang buong lugar para sa mga bata. Napalingon pa siya kay Cyla at nakita itong may mga kalaro na agad. Marami rin siyang nakitang mga staff na naka-uniform at nagbabantay.
Hinila na siya ng asawa at kaunting lakad pa ay nakita niya na ang chapel na sinasabi nito. Isa iyong maliit na dome na may pews at isang malaking cross sa harapan. Maliit at napakaaliwalas ng dating.
"Bakit tayo pumunta rito?" tanong niya habang paupo siya.
Tumabi ito sa kanya. "I'm starting to court you now."
Napatingin siya rito. "O...kay." She surveyed te area. "Ganito ka manligaw? Sa chapel ang first date?" she joked.
Ngumiti ito at napasandal sa kinauupuan. "I want to be true and honest with all the things I want to say. Kaya dinala kita rito. As we get to know each other, I want us to be true as much as possible."
Napasandal na rin siya sa kinauupuan at napatingin sa malaking cross. Sino nga naman ang makapagsisinungaling sa harap ng Diyos?
"By the way, I'm Terrence."
Tinaasan niya ito ng kilay ng inabot nito ang palad. Nakuha naman niya ang ibig niyong sabihin kaya natawa siya. "You want us to start all over again? This is crazy!"
Napangisi ito. "Then, let's be crazy. Huwag kang killjoy."
"Look who's talking," aniya pero tinanggap niya ang kamay nito at nakisakay na lang sa gusto nitong mangyari. "I'm Eunice," pagpapakilala na lang rin niya. "And I assume you're gonna court me now because we know each other's names."
He chuckled. "You don't have to be sarcastic about it."
Nagkibit-balikat na lang rin siya at nginitian lang ito.
"I'm Terrence and I was raised in a loving environment. My mother and father were never shy in showing their love for each other. I grew up believing in love and how marvelous it is to be felt."
Of course, Eunice already knew that. Ngunit nakinig lang siya rito.
"I was the 'good boy' in our whole family. I would always do the right thing. I'm the one who always chose to be good even though the world couldn't and wouldn't be. Then, college came. All the worldly things I tried to avoid growing up consumed me. I was the normal teenager that experienced peer pressure. I was young so I drank. I smoked. I cheated on exams. I fought with my professors. I cut classes. I broke the rules. I partied hard."
Napamulagat si Eunice dahil kahit kailan ay hindi niya alam na pinagdaanan iyon ni Terrence. "W-What? You did all of that?" di-makapaniwalang sambit niya. Dahil hindi niya na ma-imagine si Terrence na ganoon. "Bakit ngayon ko lang nalaman?"
Diretso itong tumingin sa kanya. "Because it's the kind of past na hindi naman magandang ikuwento. Medyo nakalimutan ko na rin sa paglipas ng mga panahon. College was the fun yet disturbing years of my life. Iyon din ang panahon na nakilala ko si Frances."
She nodded to urge him to continue.
"Frances was my first girlfriend. I loved her. I wasserious about her. I may be a mess in college but my belief in love never changed. Ang problema lang, I loved too much. I gave Frances too much attention, time, and love. She's a typical spoiled brat but I didn't really care at that time. I was happy. She's happy. We did crazy things together. We passed beyond the limits. It's wrong but I always told myself that I'll marry her after college. Then, she broke my heart. She really broke my heart," simpleng pagkukuwento nito.
"I moved on and got over with her when I started to be 'me' again. Lumayo ako sa barkada. Nagseryoso na rin ang mga pinsan ko. I got involved again in some church activities. I became active. When I met the Lord again, it felt like I'm home." Bumalik ang mga ngiti sa mga labi nito. "I got that 'good boy' image again. I got teased. Masyado daw akong matuwid. Pero natuto na 'kong huwag pakinggan ang sasabihin ng iba at magpakatotoo lang sa sarili ko. There's nothing bad in being yourelf. There's nothing bad in doing what is right in the eyes of the Lord."
"So... you were once a lost sheep."
Tumango ito. "Good thing I was found. I was redeemed. Moving on, sa church ko na rin nakilala ang second girlfriend ko. Dahil masyado na kong nadala kay Frances, naghanap ako ng kabaliktaran niya."
Nanlaki ang mga mata niya nang may mapagtanto. "That's why you didn't like me at first! Because I was a spoiled brat."
He nodded. "This time my relationship with my second girlfriend was good and sweet. Nagkakasundo kami kasi parehas kami ng faith."
"Why didn't you end up with her?"
"Nagsisimula na kaming magtrabaho niyon. We start to prioritize our careers. We had a clean break up, though. Ang balita ko nasa ibang bansa na siya at may pamilya na rin."
Tumangu-tango siya.
"Walang nangyari sa'min kahit kailan. Kaya siguradong wala akong anak sa kanya," mabilis na depensa nito.
Eunice found herself laughing. "Huwag mong sabihing after Frances, you never touched any girl?"
"I never touched any girl after Frances. Counted si Rachelle, since... you know the story."
Tinignan niya lang ito.
"You don't believe me, do you?" He exhaled. "I'm a man, and yes, I have my own needs, pero nakayanan kong magtiis. College experiences was enough for me to learn my lesson well. Now, I have a daughter from my first girlfriend. At kung tatanungin mo 'ko kung may anak pa 'ko sa ibang babae, wala na, Eunice. Kung magka-anak man ako ulit, sa'yo na ang kasunod."
She believed in him and she sweetly smiled. "Nililigawan mo pa lang ako, anak na agad ang iniisip mo? Ganyan ka manligaw?" she humorously said. "And here I am, expecting of flowers, chocolates, and sweet confessions."
Tinitigan siya nito at marahang hinaplos ang pisngi niya. "I miss you smiling like that and talking to me like that."
Hinawakan niya ang kamay nitong nasa pisngi niya. "You know that I forgive you, right?"
Tumango ito. "But can you trust me, again?"
Nangilid ang luha sa mga mata niya. Hindi niya alam kung bakit. "As long as I love you, I'll trust you over and over again. Because you're Terrence. You never meant to hurt me. And you always do what is right."
Nagpakawala ito ng hangin. "When I was in Australia, all I ever wanted was to see and meet my daughter. Pagkatapos, at saka ko sasabihin sa'yo kapag sigurado talaga akong anak ko siya. Wala sa plano kong iuwi siya ng Pilipinas because I thought she's living well with Frances. Kaya nagulat ako nang basta siyang ibigay sa'kin. Then I had to choose." Bumaba ang kamay nito sa balikat niya. "What is right? To take my daughter home with me or to save you from hurting? Doon na 'ko nagsisi kung bakit hindi ko sinabi sa'yo ng mas maaga. Hindi kita naihanda.
"Ayoko nang masaktan ka. Ayoko nang umiyak ka nang dahil na naman sa'kin. You shed enough tears for me. Sa tuwing nagkakamali ako, nasasaktan ka. Pero ayoko ring saktan si Cyla. Ayokong lumaki siya at myanim sa isip niya na tinalikuran ko siya kung kailan kailangan niya 'ko." Napayuko ito. "I'm s-sorry I chose to hurt you, again, baby. I'm sorry I m-made you cry."
She cupped his face. "You're always worth my tears, Terrence. Because you're the one who can also wipe it away." She smiled at him. "You never chose to hurt me. You just chose to save your child from a loveless life. You just did what is right. It's you, Terrence. And I love you for being like that."
He looked at her like she's the most amazing thing in the world. Next thing she knew, she's already inside his arms and he's hugging her so tight.
Right there, alam na nilang parehas na silang maayos. Sabi ng iba, kapag nasira ang pagtitiwala, maibalik man iyon ay hindi na katulad ng dati. Nababahiran na daw niyon ang pagmamahal.
But Eunice and Terrence believed otherwise. When God was the one who fixed the trust, with His power, it can turn back to it's original form and stains in love can be erased,
Eunice chose to forgive and trust her husband again because she chose to trust God.
And it's the right thing to do.
Humarap sa kanya si Terrence at hinawakan ang gilid ng kanyang leeg. "Hindi mo naman ako pinahirapang manligaw."
She chuckled. "You have a weird way of courting, Mr. Aranzamendez. Nagkukuwento ka ng mga ex mo sa first date!"
He grinned and kissed the tip of her nose. "I can always give you the flowers, chocolates, and sweet talks everyday. I'll court you everyday. And do you know what's the most righteous thing I did?"
Napaisip siya. "Hmm... taking your responsibilities as a father?"
"Puwede rin."
"Mmm... the most righteous thing? Ah! To be able to go back to the right path!"
"Okay..." Tumikhim ito. "But let's be romantic here, baby, so I can kiss you."
She smiled widely. "Alright. Spill it."
Ito naman ang napangiti. "When I chose to love you and decided to continue it every passing day... There's just no reason for me to stop. And I think, it's the most righteous thing I've ever done-to fall for you even after I've fallen in love."
She giggled in the tickling feeling she felt in her heart. Terrence never ran out of ways to say 'I love you' in different words, phrases, and even sentences.
She clung to his neck and eagerly kissed him on the lips. Halatang nagulat ito pero naramdaman niya ang pagngiti ng mga labi nito. Hindi pa man lumalalim ang halik ay lumayo na ito.
"I should be the one kissing you," protesta nito.
"Okay. Kiss me now."
"Let's be wholesome here, shall we?" nakangising sabi nito.
Nasa loob pa nga pala sila ng chapel.
Napatayo siya at hinila ito. "Let's go somewhere else. Iyong puwede ang hindi wholesome," pilyang sabi niya.
Tumawa ito ng malakas at nagpahila naman sa kanya. They ended up in the room of their villa.
Mabilis siyang nadala ni Terrence sa gitna ng kama at binaba ang manipis na strap ng damit niya. He kissed her hungrily and rained sweet tiny kisses all over her neck.
Her hands were busy unbuttoning his polo and Terrence hands were all over her. He reached the zipper of her dress at the back and lay her down.
They were both eager and passionate into becoming one but then-
"Papa! Mommy! Where are you?"
Parehas silang natigilan ni Terrence pagkarinig sa maliit na tinig sa labas ng kuwarto.
Nang kumatok na sa pintuan nila ang bata ay parehas na silang mukhang frustrated ni Terrence.
"Knock, knock! Papa! Mommy!"
"Come in, darling," Terrence said in his raspy voice. Nahihirapang magpigil.
Nagtalukbong siya ng comforter at napailing-iling na lang habang nakangiti.
Masayang pumasok si Cyla at agad silang tinakbo sa higaan. "I'm tired of playing. I want to sleep." Yumakap ito kay Terrence at halata ngang pagod at inaantok na.
Napabuntong-hininga si Terrence at binuhat si Cyla para palitan ng damit. "Bakit ba hindi ako kumuha ng two-room villa?"
She laughed and tried to fix herself. "Iniwan pa natin si Mang Emman para walang tumatama sa timing."
Natawa na lang rin ito.
Pinanood niya kung paano palitan ni Terrence ng damit ang anak nito. And by the looks, she can easily tell how fatherly Terrence is. His gentleness and love for his child are very visible.
She loved him more.
Pagkatapos mabihisan ay namumungay ang mga matang tumungo sa higaan si Cyla at tumabi sa kanya. She remembered the feeling of being "quite" a mother for baby Renz. Niyakap niya si Cyla katulad ng ginagawa niyang pagyakap kay Renz noon. Children thrill her. Anak man ni Terrence o hindi, they automatically have a soft part in her heart.
Motherhood excites her.
Mula sa likod niya ay niyakap din siya ni Terrence. "Thank you," he whispered.
"For what?" tanong naman niya.
"For being you. For choosing love over hate. For choosing faith over bitterness."
"It's the right thing, isn't it?"
"It will always be." Hinalikan nito ang bumbunan niya.
Namagitan ang katahimikan sila. It's not an awkward silence anymore but a peaceful one.
"What are you thinking?" he asked her.
"A 'not-so-wholesome' thing."
Napaungol ito at pagkuwa'y mahinang natawa. "We'll have our time, baby. And it's going to be long, slow, and sweet."
Long, slow, and sweet... she giggled. She'll hold onto that.
***
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