I'm really fighting the urge to just write a bunch of gratuitous, self indulgent smut. Someone just,,, fuckin yeet me into some holy water
So yeah this ain't smut but... i'm treatin y'all. And, well,,, not to repeat words but my mental thesaurus is failing me and this is super self indulgent
***
We're laying in his bed naked. It was the morning of the day I was supposed to go home, to my home, though I didn't really feel there was truth in those words because I felt much more at home here, in his arms. He looked to be in bliss, a light sheen of sweat clinging to his skin, sticking us together. I knew the embarrassment would come soon, but for now I was happy to bathe in the afterglow, small breasts against his lower ribcage and chin on his chest. I wanted to look at him. He looked so beautiful.
His arms were around my back, holding me against him, palm rubbing my shoulder absently as he notices me watching. He shifts, and I'm vaguely reminded that far too much of me was pressed against far too much of him. I don't care. I'm melting, my body feeling of an odd consistency. It was already sweltering in his bedroom thanks to the summertime sun, but his body was like a space heater.
"Enjoying the view?" He smiles, and it's glorious, tilting his head down to look at me. The hum of the aircon gains my notice, cold air sweeping lazily over my bare back and butt. Namjoon must have turned it on in the other room. I grin.
"You have at least three chins right now." I jibe, lifting a delicate touch to the smooth line of his jaw. He scowls playfully at me, strong arms tightening around my waist to pull me further into him so he can bury his face in my hair. I hear him inhale, then sigh, softly, contented.
"You smell amazing right now." If my scent to him is the same as his to me, I have to concur. His skin is musky, masculine, with the slight sweetness of cologne that lingered from yesterday. It embarrasses me to think about it. This is the smell of him after sex and I love it. He kisses my neck, gentle, as if I'm a porcelain doll, stark contrast to how he'd handled me only moments before. His teeth graze the spot and then he's tasting me and the air leaves my lips in a rush. "Shit. I'm gonna get hard again. Do you have to leave?"
He knows the answer to the question without me verbalising it, and we sit up together, one of his large hands splayed between my shoulder blades. Goosebumps prickle over my flesh, and I'm not sure if it's a result of the aircon or the look he's giving me. He kisses me somewhat aggressively, then sighs against my lips. It's hard not to get lost in him. "I don't have to go until the afternoon." A smile plays on my face. "Maybe I tell my parents my train ran late, who knows?"
Seokjin grinned, chuckling. "Is it my fault that you're becoming such a bad girl?"
I laugh, "Definitely."
I yelp as he pinches my butt and slap his chest in adamance, earning another laugh and a quick peck to my lips. I leave my hands on his chest, drinking in his face. He looks amused. His palms rest low on my hips, and his eyes glance down my body, thumb brushing over a mark from his lips. They trace down my thighs, and I exhale, running my hand up his neck to his face to draw his mouth back to mine. It wasn't often that I took charge, but he definitely didn't seem to mind, from the way he sighed into the kiss, drawing my lower lip between his briefly. He broke away, fingers on my legs squeezing. His voice is almost a whine. "Sat like this, I'll really get hard again."
I huff a soft laugh, squeezing his hips with my thighs and wrapping my arms around his neck. Jin shudders lightly, eyes fluttering a moment, then fixing on me with a hard but surprised stare. "You...- you're being really forward, this morning."
His voice is breathy and flashes like heat through my body. I cup his face. "Because I love you." I shift purposefully again, and his eyelashes cast fine shadows on his cheeks as his eyes close, hands moving to grip my hips. His jaw becomes taut. The way he has moved his head leaves a large expanse of the caramel skin of his neck exposed, and I pepper kisses over it. "Can't I?"
He groans softly, reaching to sweep my hair into one hand, holding it loosely at the base of my neck. His chest strains, pectorals flexing, abdominals clenching, and when he pushes me back lightly his eyes are dark. "Ju-eun, unless you want me to ravage you... stop." My tongue darts out to wet my lower lip, and he watches it, making a low noise in the back of his throat. He sighs, closing his eyes, jaw and neck muscles tight with annoyance, "You're really doing this to me when I have no condoms left..."
Disappointment crashes into my stomach, and I visibly deflate. He gives a strained chuckle, leaning to nuzzle my neck a moment more before disentangling himself delicately. He stands up, facing the window, looking down at himself, then away and raking his nails over his scalp in frustration. I feel very exposed without him near me, and pull the thin sheets to recover my modesty... even though he is currently standing completely naked in my full view. I wondered vaguely how the me from a year ago would have reacted to this. I wouldn't have believed it, I'm sure. Now, though, I'm unashamed of taking in the sight of his broad shoulders, toned back, slim waist and round ass. At least, until he turns, and catches me ogling. He grins.
"Let's take a bath together." He says, suddenly, and I blink in surprise. His face softens. "I'll wash your hair."
I fidget. "Isn't that a little...-"
"A little what?" He smirks, "We just fucked, you can't be embarrassed about a bath." I flush, and he spreads his arms wide, as though putting himself on display. "I'm even still naked."
I chew my lip and look away, then smile faintly. "Okay." I fidget with the hem of the sheet above my breasts, and he purses his lips, stepping closer to cup my face, bending down.
"Don't act coy when you were just trying to seduce me, Miss." he murmurs, and I tremble, skin warming. He laughs. "I'll go run the water. Wait here."
He pulls on some shorts to avoid flashing his dick at his roommate when he leaves, and I press my lips together, suddenly feeling very alone and very small. The room felt large without him in it. His voice echoes in my head, though, huskily murmuring my name, crooning, begging. My skin warms again and I pull the sheet in my hands in front if my face.
I can hear the thundering of the faucet in the tub from the room next door, and sigh. The tub's small. I wasn't sure how well it would fit both of us, but I supposed I'd find out.
I laid back with a flop, sighing, muscles lightly fatigued from my run the day before. I rested my hands on my chest just for somewhere to put them -the position relaxed me - and stared at the ceiling, thinking. Less than six hours, and I'd be back home, ready to spend three days in uncomfortable quiet with my parents. My lungs felt taut. I have zero desire to spend time with them, and even less to go to the formal dinner that was the whole reason they'd come back. I envisioned a world in which I could talk openly with my parents, tell them about Seokjin-oppa, with faith they'd be happy for me. Express the doubts I had about my future. Show them the letter I'd received before coming back here.
The dinner was for a business partner of my father's. I hadn't mentioned it to Jin, not wanting to even think about it. I wasn't even sure why I was expected to go. It wasn't like I was a child anymore. If I could have taken him with me... a pocket sized Kim Seokjin to keep my mood light in an awkwardly tense situation. I sigh again.
"Am I interrupting something?" Jin's eyebrows are raised, lips curved in a smirk, and I realise abruptly what it looks like I'm doing. I sit up, hands falling away from my breasts and the sheet puddling around my hips. I feel bare, skin hot. He licks his lips and looks like he wants to say something, but thinks better of it, stalking over to slip a shirt over my shoulders. He chuckles. "You don't need to take care of it by yourself when I'm around, Ju-eun."
He dodges my slap, letting go of the collar of the shirt he put on me, laughing hysterically. "You know that's not what I was doing!!"
I scramble to my feet and punch him. The shirt flutters around me and comes to rest, covering all that should be covered as he comes up behind me, leaning down to wrap his arms around my waist and rest his chin on my shoulder. He maintains that position as we walk to the bathroom, me walking normally and him shuffling along cutely behind me, making high pitched sound effects as I giggle. He closes and locks the bathroom door behind us, and I shed the shirt, the steamy air making my skin feel clammy.
I eye the tub, and raise my eyebrows. "That's a lot of bubbles."
He grins, pressing a light kiss to my shoulder. "Of course. Any good bath has bubbles."
I huff, but am faking my annoyance, "They're all gonna come out when we get in!"
He just shrugs, moving in front of me and slipping off his shorts again, carelessly tossing a lecherous grin my way. "It'll be fine. We can clean up after." He kisses the side of my head, and I know he's fully aware of the effect he's having on me as I swallow and flatten a hand on my stomach. I silently curse his poor organisational skills, to have run out of something so important when his girlfriend was coming to stay.
That said, he probably hadn't been anticipating the newly developed difficulty we seemed to find in keeping our hands off each other. I'd been so hesitant before, but now it's was like the dam had burst. Such separation had made me eager to consume what I could, while I could, fervently taking all of him as much as possible.
Jin steps into the water and I see goosebumps run up his bare skin. He'd run it hot. I watch as he sits and gets comfortable, then hold his hand out for me to join. As I'm staring all I can think is that I'm going to have to sit very close to him. The tub is objectively small, though standard for a tub, and not made for two people. I rub my stomach with my fingers, thinking how best to go about this, and he smiles. I suppress my urge to groan. The way I would throw myself on him...
I finally step into the basin with him, carefully treading between his spread legs- carefully, because I can't see from all the damn bubbles. Before sitting, I remember my hair, and pause to tie it in a bun. Then I realise what exactly his face is on level with as I do this and sit down in a hurry, flushing.
It appears he didn't expect me to sit facing away from him. He's still for a long moment, and I can hear only his breathing, before the creak of the tub and splish of water as he readjusts and pulls my back against him with his arms around my waist. We are very naked. It's distracting.
"Did you have to sit with your ass against my junk?" He half groans, and he only allows me half of the fidget that I try out in my awkwardness before holding me still. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you were doing this on purpose. Have I don't something to piss you off? Are you getting revenge?"
I chuckle, patting the knee that is on my left side, leaving my hand there. "This seemed like the most comfortable way to sit. You're so horny this morning."
"Comfortable for you, maybe." He grumbles. He laces his fingers together on my stomach. His forehead rests on the back of my head. "After this I don't know when I'm gonna see you next, I'm not gonna have any access to that sweet p-"
He cuts off with a snort as I twist to punch him, disgusted. "I swear to god I will grind on you and leave you in pain."
He laughs with a smile full of teeth, settling me back against him. "You wouldn't do that to your oppa." He pouts, the expression so cute it was at odds with the subject matter. "You love me far too much." He nuzzles along my shoulder, tracing over the back of my neck, then to the end of my collarbone. I'm hyper aware of the mark he's leaving, but melting into mush at the same time, fingernails scraping lightly at the flesh of his thigh. His hands skim lower on my stomach, over my abdomen, and I'm far too responsive, tensing and flexing the defined muscles there. My stomach is sensitive. He chuckles quietly by my ear. "Troubled?"
I scowl, flushed. "Shut up." He gives an almost silently breathed laugh, one hand trailing back up to my chest, sitting between my breasts. The distant crackling of the bubbles is only half in existence for me. He's straining, and I can feel it, but he's excellent at maintaining his composure.
"Want me to help you?"
***
I'm frowning when we return to his bedroom, hair still dry. It hadn't really needed washing, but it still would have been nice. I huff, tugging the hairtie out and then moving to dress in my own clothes.
"Don't be maaad." Seokjin whines, playfully, and I roll my eyes, frowning as I zip up my shorts.
"I'm not mad." I say shortly, and I can tell he's trying not to laugh.
"Tell that to your face." He pouts, coming closer and grabbing ahold of my wrists. I gaze at him flatly, and the corner of his mouth kicks up. "You can't tell me it didn't feel good."
He rests his forearms over my shoulders, and my stern expression finally falters, the beginnings of a smile fighting free on my lips. I enter his embrace with a sigh. "I was supposed to be cleaning off. I don't feel very clean."
"You're perfect." He murmurs, and I can hear the words in his chest, broken up by his heartbeat. "We showered off after. It's fine."
"Wouldn't have needed to if someone had some self control and didn't-" I cut off abruptly, colouring, burying my face in his shirt to hide it. The laugh rumbles through his thorax.
"Didn't what? Cum in the bathtub?" He snorts at the way I grip his shirt in both fists in embarrassment. "Sorry to be so blunt but... how could I not? I might be a decent guy but I'm not a saint." The fingers of one of his hands tug through my hair, smoothing and detangling. "You sounded sexy as hell, and you were rubbing up on me... Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if Namjoon knocked one out in his bedroom."
At that, I shove away from him, eyes wide and face impossibly red. I'd forgotten about his roommate. "You-" I didn't know what to say. My brain was failing me. "Why would you say that?! I want to die!"
He made a face, moving to pull me back into his arms again. He seemed torn somewhere between amused and apologetic. "Okay, I'm sorry. He wouldn't. If he did I'd break his legs and he knows it."
I cover my face with my hands, not comforted. How was I ever going to face Namjoon next time I saw him? "But you're right, he definitely heard! God, I was so loud..."
He moves to hold me at arms length, and I peer at him from between my fingers. "It's fine. The number of times I've heard him with his conquests..." he trails off and shakes his head. "You don't need to worry about him. Concern yourself with me only."
We eat, and I'm somewhat loathe to curl up in the living room to watch tv given Namjoon could come in any moment, but soon relax into the warmth of my boyfriend's body. He's checking his watch frequently, looking more than a little upset. I have to go soon, and he doesn't want me to. He readjusts, fingers on my waist holding me against him.
My parents would be home already when I got there. I'd left it as late as I possibly could. Seokjin drops me off near the train station, me being too paranoid to even get out of his car too close to the building. I can see in his face that he hates it. He wants to see me to the door of my house. I don't want to hide him but the thought of telling my parents is like a frozen knife in my guts. I can't risk it. Especially not now that we've gone so far together. I'm scared of what they would say, to learn I'm no longer a virgin. Scared of how they would twist our loving relationship to fit their narrative.
We're parked a few minutes walk from the station, and he presses one last, chaste kiss to my lips, holding my chin with his thumb and forefinger. He sighs into my mouth and leans back, eyes hard. "I'll call you."
I press my lips together, guilt in my chest. "I'm sorry."
He shakes his head, expression softening. "I'm fine with telling them when you're ready." He looks stressed about it, too. He knows my parents well already. "Baby steps." His hand skims the steering wheel, "I just wish I didn't have to let you walk back alone. Go on, you should go, they'll be expecting you."
I feel empty as I step out of his car, out of the safety of my home and into the insecurity of my parents' company. Closing the passenger door, and offer him one final wave and forced smile. He returns it, but I can see he's worried. I was going to try and tell them about the letter, and neither of us knew how they would react.
I was stunned to see my Father's car parked outside the station. Heart pounding and mouth dry, I prayed he didn't notice that I had only melted into the crowd of exiting passengers, having not actually exited the station building myself. My skin feels cold as I approach the car, and the expressions of both of my parents match it when I slide into the backseat.
"Hello, Mother, Father." I say quietly, unsure. "I didn't know you were coming to pick me up; I could have walked."
"Where have you been since Thursday, Ju-eun?" My Mother ignored pleasantries as usual, blunt, as my Father began to drive. I still, tense. "And don't say you just got back into Seoul today."
I'm frozen in time. I'm aware of the road passing by, the hum of the car's engine, the roar of my blood in my ears. "I...-"
"Your Father saw you in Gangnam on Thursday. So, I'll ask again," she turns to look at me, eyes cold, piercing. "Where have you been?"
***
Oooooohhh shit sooooonnnnnn
The way this chapter became so fucking long bc of me being a thirsty hoe for seokjin LMAO
Sorry this one got a little more adult. Just, lowkey,,,, they've had sex so there's kinda no skirting around certain things anymore.
Hope you enjoyed the extra long chapter! Pls vote& comment my loves