"Now more than ever seems it rich to die to cease upon the midnight with no pain." Ode to a nightingale - John keat.
Sucide.
Sucide had become very become a natural phenomenon in our town Lagos.
Everyone seemed to be depressed right now, but you couldn't really blame them could you?,The hi
country wasn't really the best place to be at the moment.
But he couldn't still wrap his head around how star student of Eko Atlantic university would take her own life.
This one felt different cause he actually knew Modupe really well, and he didn't even see any signs of her being depressed.
Somehow he blamed himself for not being vigilant enough, for being blind.
For being just as blind and naive as most inhabitants of the city Lagos.
Modupe Adetayo was reported dead last week Monday
She had allegedly killed herself.
By drinking a bottle of sniper,
He couldn't help but wonder how bitter her life has gotten, that she would choose such tormenting way to end it.
Modupe lifeless body had been found in her dormitory room by her half brother after the deed had been done.
He imagined her dorm to be battle field, a battle field Modupe had chosen, maybe because it was a familiar one, maybe choosing a familiar battle field made her strong enough to end her life, with the lethal weapon which was only a bottle of sniper.
He would have never guessed it,
Not in a million years, not in a billion years.
School had become a different planet.
Everything changed with the death of its star student.
Modupe death was surely a game changer for Eko Atlantic, even people that didn't knew her were somehow affected by her death.
Lecturers were nicer, most students had returned home.
Parents were withdrawing their wards from Eko Atlantic.
Modupe's mom was suing the school for the death of her daughter.
He also wondered how she was handling it all,how she felt, he wondered the emotions that went through her mind at the midst of all this.
She was obviously channeling all of her emotions into This stupid lawsuit, which was very unnecessary, because Eko Atlantic wasn't to blame for her death.
The lawsuit was eating deeply into school, slowly like termite, but just like a termite infested wood, the School would soon crumble.
He could feel it , and the school wouldn't crumble alone, It would crumble along with every single one of its students.
But That's what she wanted (Modupe's mother) for the school to be destroyed, but Eko Atlantic was in noway responsible for the death of Modupe Adetayo.
Modupe Adetayo was....
He knew this, because he kept a close watch on her and her social media platforms which she was incessantly active on.
She didn't care about Eko Atlantic.
She didn't need it, Modupe was very liked, Gaining herself six hundred thousand followers on Instagram.
That wasn't a shock,Modupe was extremely beautiful ,everyone knew that.
It was no shock that she was instagram famous.
Being Instagram famous brought modupe a lot of opportunities,She was brand ambassador of five different companies, which brought her a lot of money more than enough money for someone her age.She had money, lots of it, Enough to drop out of school.
But she didn't.
Modupe had the perfect life so to say.
She was still on top of her class, despite the fact that she barely attended classes.
Modupe was a genius.She wasn't cheating to be at the top of the class.
She was just really intelligent and didn't need to spend hours glued to a text book
After spending two she got what she needed from the book.
One of the things he envied about her, ever since high school she had always been intelligent.
She was blessed,Everyone looked up to her even he did too at some point.
It was really sad that she was gone.
It was was still utterly shocking That was no reaching Eko Atlantic's star student anymore.
There was no reaching the love of his life anymore.
The only girl he had actually loved,The first girl to make him feel loved.
Now it was simply just a memory. He thought.
She was simply just a memory now.
An unforgettable memory.
"Hey did you hear about what happened?" Oreo's feminine voice invaded his thoughts,Snapping him from his mind palace,The palace in which Modupe Adetayo ruled.
The familiar dark skin skinny girl stood in front him somehow looking happy than he ever seen her.
"What?" He asked with a hint of disgust.
Not really expecting an answer.
Oreo was a freind, 'was' was the key Term here.He and modupe and Oreo (as she liked to be called) were best of friends in high school, inseparable to be precise.
Somehow someway Oreo and Modupe had drifted apart before graduation, he didn't know why, whenever he tried to ask, the both parties refused to answer,.one day they approached and they had plainly asked him to choose, to choose between his two best friends and he chose Modupe.
And after he made that choice, he and Oreo sort of ceased to be as close as usual. It was obvious that the choice he made haunted Oreo.
But deep down he regretted choosing Modupe over Oreo, because after Few months in Eko Atlantic Modupe dumped him for new friends.
She ghosted him, acted like he didn't exist, something he would have never expected, she didn't even give him an explanation, she just stopped talking to him, at first he was worried about her, but stalking her made him realize that she was actually happy with her new friends and wanted nothing to do with him.
So he let it go, he tried daily to move on, even though moving on meant keeping a close watch on her at all times.
He couldn't just let her go that easily, she was his best freind and the love of life.
But Now he truly had to let her go, death had forcefully done them apart.
"Modupe Adetayo" she explained.
She wanted to rub in his face that he had made the wrong choice.
"Who hasn't?" He asked rhetorically,
"Quite shocking in it?"
"Yeah I guess" he said coldly.
He hoped she would go away, he really wasn't ready for a confrontation or whatever this was.
He wasn't ready to talk to anyone right now,
Especially not about Modupe Adetayo.
"You guess?" She asked him obviously shocked by the words which he replied her with, she expected something more, An apology maybe.
If she wanted an apology from him she wasn't getting one any time soon.
"What do you want me to say Arewa? Huh?nothing I say can bring her back so there's no point in talking about it" he spat
"Chillax everyone is a little shaken right now" she said maybe realizing that this wasn't the time for her games, she retreated, a little bit.
"Everyone but you Arewa, if I didn't know any better I'd think you were happy. You seem really glad that she's gone."
"Well excuse me Henry,!!!!!but I'm not sad. Because modupe Adetayo only cared for herself!!!She didn't care about me, she sure as much didn't care about you, so why should I feel sad. Would she have felt sad if it were me"
She uttered those words with every breath and fibre in her body.if she pushed harder her veins would have popped out her neck, She was angry.
Too angry.
Tension filled the air
He knew Oreo had waited far too long to say those words.
He was furious at the words which she uttered,
He was enraged but he shouldn't feel angry at this point, because that would only bring more chaos.
But still he was angry, his heart was beating faster than usual, his breath was way more intense than it had been in the past minutes.
She was always good at getting him worked up.
He hated when he got to angry.
"You should be ashamed of yourself......" he said anger evident in his voice he couldn't hold it any longer,
There was only one way to end this.
He stood up, attempting to walk away
Walk away from this mess.
Walk away from this abomination called Arewa
Or Oreo whatever she called herself.
Arewa too stood up.
Sharply, like a cheetah ready to pounce on its prey.
She had come to him just to prove a point it was now indisputable.
Maybe to prove that she'd won?
This long lasting battle that had gone on between she and Modupe and Henry.
"No Henry wake up. Modupe Adetayo wasn't a saint. And she wasn't perfect.......So excuse for not feeling sorry for her,The world's a better place now that she's gone" She broke the short lived silence.
Her words seeped into his bones and hurt him faster than any snakes venom would.
She paused for a brief moment.
"I mean look around. There's peace. She took the bad people along with her. OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE"!! She raised her voice at the last words.
"Look all the bad people have left with her. So Henry I'm sorry,, if you can't get over you love for her or open your eyes to see that she never cared for you and now she never will...."
"And it's your fault she's gone too......." she trailed off.
She almost sorry for him, almost. But he didn't want her to feel sorry for him, he didn't want anything from her at all, he had had enough of this stupid charade she came to throw. And it was high time he showed her he wasn't in the mood to
Play her mind games.
How could she? He thought.
He was now unable to cage the fury that burnt within him, like a furnace he let out a fiery breath.
"SHUT UP!" He yelled.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!"he yelled again,
"NO YOU SHUT UP,get over yourself Henry,GROW UP,this isn't high school. she's gone and she's not coming back, you're a fool to still be holding on to any shred of Modupe" Arewa stated before storming, her work here was done, the bold steps she took away from him confirmed it.
Everyone was staring at them, for a brief moment he had forgotten that he was at a cafeteria, he watched as she walked out.
I hate you so much he thought to himself.
How did she get so bitter and angry?, he almost felt bad for her.
People were still staring at him.
That's all people do stare.
No one wants to actually help.
He picked up His bag pack and walked to the exit, he exited the building, deep down he wished he could exit this school just as easily.
Maybe Modupe was the lucky one,She found a way to escape it all,to escape this stupid worry filled city.
Maybe sucide was an escape?
Maybe.
But he wasn't a maybe guy,
He was a someone who took the bull by the horn, daily life in Lagos meant taking the bull by the horns, so he was ready to keep struggling to survive.
Besides he knew Sucide doesn't end problems, it only gives them to someone else, and no one was big enough to handle his issues expect God.
And now more than ever it wouldn't be so rich to die. He had to stay strong, And trust in God.He thinks natural,God thinks supernatural.
And he knew and believed that only a supernatural intervention could save him from the city of Lagos.
Only God can save me.
"Only God can save me" he muttered under his breath.
Trying to convince himself,He wanted to believe that,He needed to believe that, he had to believe that.
Only God can save us.
He took a deep breath.
He was to angry to do anything else.
He knew just what he needed, he walked towards to the direction of the school chapel, Believe it or not praying calmed him and what he needed right now was to calm down.
Taking deep breaths had failed to relieve his anger.
Even a five minute prayer right now, would go a long way in calming him now.
*****
He stared at the chapel building from outside, before entering.
A bunch of students were there but there was no service, he walked to the altar, feeling at peace already.
He knelt down before the altar, And he prayed and prayed and prayed and he prayed.
But at some point he couldn't any
Anymore, anxiety was slowly consuming him, overtaking his sanity.
In his heart he asked himself if he was really too blame for all this? Modupe death? and Oreo's bitterness?And if it was his fault how could he fix it all.
And suddenly the thought struck him like lightning,the only to fix this was to move on and be a better person, from now on he was going to try to be a better person and make the world a better place, and Make sure there wouldn't be any more Modupe Adetayo in the world.
But first he had to apologize to Oreo, that would go a long way in helping him move on and also it would also help her move past her anger and bitterness.
He stood from his knees and exited the church building, Feeling less anxious and Angry than he was when he walked in.
He was ready to be a better person, but right after he got some sleep.
Better person can wait till tomorrow,