CONVERSATION WITH: PETER
______
GINA
so
GINA
y'all made out
PETER
omg
PETER
i don't know what
you're talking about
PETER
i don't even know
what that is
GINA
don't even try
to lie to me
PETER
sigh ok we made out
PETER
wait she literally left like
an hour ago and she
already told you guys?
GINA
honey
GINA
she told us at two am
PETER
wait ehat
PETER
she did?
PETER
while she was
still over?
GINA
oh yeah!
PETER
i was probably asleep
PETER
wait she went to
sleep before me
PETER
witchcraft
GINA
she said she pretended
to sleep because she
wanted to make sure
you slept. street smarts
PETER
holy shit im crying
that's the nicest thing
anyone has done
for me ever
PETER
besides the lady on
my floor who hands
out knitted sweaters
every chrisfmas
PETER
she thinks my name
is pulcurna but i still
accepted the sweater
GINA
christ
GINA
anyway
GINA
why didn't you
ask her out?
PETER
wait i thought
we were dating
GINA
jesus christ
GINA
you have to ASK her to
be your GIRLFRIEND
GINA
all of us are mad at
you for not doing it.
except for ryder
obviously
PETER
shit please dont kill me
PETER
im too young
PETER
i have so much
to live for
PETER
please the jonas brothers
just got back together i
haven't seen them yet
GINA
holy shit RELAX
GINA
we just want you
guys to date already
GINA
it's nearly summer and
y'all aren't dating yet!!!!
GINA
you've made out and
been on dates and y'all
aren't dating yet!!!!
PETER
oh sweets we did
more than make out
(not sent!)
GINA
do you see my point?
PETER
shit yeah
PETER
uuuhyyhhhhhh
what should i do??
PETER
i could take her
bowling? into the
city? shopping?
out to eat? i dont
im not really an
expert at this
kind of stuff
PETER
and i only have like $3
PETER
and a nerve sensitivity
to papercuts so i can't
take her scrapbooking
with me
GINA
what
PETER
what
PETER
let's move on.
quickly
GINA
i mean
GINA
you could just watch
a movie and say 'hey
you wanna be my
girlfriend?'
PETER
oh there's that too
PETER
but i want it to be
special you know?
PETER
like last night was
just the best night
of my life and i don't
wanna follow up
from that with a
stupid way to ask
her out
PETER
i just love her so
much and i don't
wanna screw things
up yno? i have a
tendency to fuck
things up
GINA
wait hold the mf phone
GINA
you love her?
PETER
uhh what?
haha what?
PETER
no no
PETER
GINA
oh my GOD!!!!!
GINA
god is real, my crops are
great, my skin is clear
GINA
goatism is my
new religion
PETER
oh god
PETER
i think im gonna faint
GINA
well let's not do that
GINA
how about we figure
out how you're gonna
ask out my best friend,
yeah?
PETER
yea
PETER
yeah!
PETER
ok so uuhh
PETER
i could invite her
over for dinner?
make some pasta
or something and
brownies and then
watch a movie? is
that too casual?
PETER
i could get some
chocolates and
strawberries and we
could lay together?
PETER
shit is that weird?
GINA
you know what?
GINA
it's super casual
GINA
but i think she'll love it
GINA
you guys always go out
and i know she loves
that but she also loves
staying in
PETER
ok ok check check
GINA
so invite her over, have
dinner and dessert
prepared, and then
go lie down to watch a
movie or tv
GINA
do you wanna do it
before dinner or after?
PETER
after
PETER
but before the
movie or no?
GINA
i think you should do
it before she leaves?
GINA
when you walk her out
GINA
or just whenever
it feels right
PETER
ok ok check
PETER
how should i say it?
PETER
like
PETER
hey so uh you wanna
be my girlfriend?
PETER
or do you wanna
be my girlfriend?
PETER
please be my girlfriend?
GINA
god don't beg
PETER
right right sorry
PETER
uh
PETER
ryder, you know i
really like you,
and i was wondering
if you wanted
to be my girlfriend?
GINA
now THAT sounds good
GINA
just say that and
you're good!
GINA
just don't freak out
GINA
you like her, she likes
you, she'll say yes, so
don't chicken out
PETER
ok ok
PETER
god why am
i so nervous
PETER
im sweating
PETER
and i don't even know
when im doing it!
PETER
she's away this weekend
so maybe sometime this
week? is that too soon?
GINA
i think you should do it
the soonest you possibly
can
GINA
AND peter b parker
GINA
if you don't treat her right
then I'll physically castrate
you myself
GINA
all of her boyfriends in the
past have been shitty and
mean and have taken
advantage of her, and if
you ever treat her wrong
like they have, dont be
surprised when we come
for you
PETER
i wouldn't even dream
of treating her poorly
PETER
she means so
much to me
PETER
i killed a huge bug for
her the other day and
i HATE bugs i almost
cried
PETER
i also refrained from
petting 4.75 dogs on
the way to her house
when i was running
late and they were cute
PETER
4.75 because one had
an amputation
PETER
i cried internally
PETER
if that isn't love
i don't know what is
GINA
alright lover boy
GINA
i trust you
GINA
just don't be a dick and
we won't have a problem
here
PETER
well fuck ill try
PETER
sometimes my natural
dickitry just appears
and i can't help it
PETER
id like to think i have
another personality
named chad and he
just likes to fuck
things up for me
PETER
anyway
PETER
thanks gina for
all your help
PETER
seriously thank you
GINA
of course
GINA
good luck!