LISA
" Stop fidging with your skirt lisa " Rose unnie said while fixing her hair in the mirror
" U know the situation unnie, it's freaking me out " I said
" Chill lisa, he is not going to kill you" Rose unnie replied rolling her eyes
Bangtan specifically namjoon oppa invited us to their dorm for having some fun after the hactic award session ended... This is the first time I am going to meet jungkook after that party incident...
The problem here is I didn't talk to jungkook after that party and that whole kissing incident where I got to know jungkook was my mystery kisser
He called me many times, but I was not prepared to talk with him, I am still not prepared. I just can't accept the fact that he was my mystery kisser and I felt those emotions for him...and we almost kissed for the second time that night....i mean how can i even think of kissing jungkook he is my friend and he didn't like me ... I acted like I am some hungry girl who wanted his lips for her meal... I feel disgusted with my self... He was drunk but I was sober..... I am sure jungkook would not even consider kissing me if he was sober and I am such a fool.....
After that incident, I told my unnies that jungkook was my mystery kisser, except the fact that we almost kissed for the second time that night, they told me to not think much since jungkook does know that we kissed
Rose unnie is right, my nervousness will not solve anything, I will act natural.. I will behave like nothing happend
*/*/*
" I am looking good, right? " Jisso unnie asked as we reached bts dorm
"You always look pretty unnie " Jennie unnie assured her and rang the bell
Oh god, now that we have finally reached, I am feeling so nervous.... How will i face him.... Calm down lisa.... Act natural... Take a deep breath..
And the door opened showing namjoon and jin oppa with a wide grin...
" Ah!!! Welcome blackpink in bangtans area " Jin oppa said while laughing at his own joke
We laughed too and entered bts dorm, it is big and luxurious dorm but it seems homely too...
Namjoon oppa took jisso unnie immediately to his room winking at us ....yes oppa we know what you gonna do with jisoo unnie in your room...
After jisoo unnie left, we three sat on the living room sofa then rest of the bts members came, except Jungkook and jimin oppa
Jennie unnie was talking to taehyung oppa about some fashion brand probably gucci and jin oppa is telling rose and me how many dishes he prepared for dinner .... But my mind was not here....my eyes are roaming to find certain someone...
Was he avoiding me too... But he called so many times, I don't know why but thought of him avoiding me bring a little pang in my heart...
Suddenly front door opened with a click and jimin oppa with jungkook by his side appeared with two large bags
" Drinks are here guys, let's start the party " Jimin said while dropping those bags on the table, jungkook followed suit and then they sat on the sofa opposite to us
" Ah blackpink is here too, Anyaseoheo " Jimin acknowledged us with a bow, followed by jungkook
We bowed too, I smiled at jimin oppa because of his excitement, he really loves alcohol... Then my eyes shifted to person sitting next to him, who didn't say a single word till now and his eyes were glaring at me making me nervous, I lifted my eyes to meet his dark brown ones...
Oh !god !!! I can't be in the same room as him.... His one gaze is enough for me to understand that I have done something terrible and he is not letting that go.... I stood from the sofa to head towards the balcony..
" Where are you going", jennie unnie asked
" Jennie unnie I didn't call mom today, I think I should call her.. She must be waiting for my call" I lied, I called mom in the evening only...
/*/*/*
I was standing in balcony, admiring the moon and city lights of Seoul, which gave a beautiful view......
I don't know what's the matter with me..... I am so frustrated....... I could easily say sorry to jungkook about that incident and it was a mistake..... But I feel like this is wrong it was not a mistake, I wanted that kiss to happen.... And after knowing that he was my mystery kisser.... The desire in me for the kiss keep increasing.... It sound so lusty..... I am so frustrated with myself....... What's going on with me...... Am I turning into some perverted woman ? That's the reason I wanted to keep distance with him.... I wanted these feelings to disappear....... And I was sure that they were gone until today when I saw him...... It all came back..... The emotions that are making me weak in front of him .... The feelings that he will never Reciprocate ... The feelings that I never felt for any man.....
I was standing in balcony admiring city lights.... And was drowned in my thoughts.... When I felt someone's presence behind my back.... I can sense his presence anywhere Nowadays..... Jungkook is here
" You are not good at lying, you know " Jungkook said still standing behind me
" What I lied about? " I said While shrughing my shoulders...
" You exactly know what I am talking about, you didn't want to call aunty... You wanted to avoid me.... Which you are very good at I think " Jungkook said coming beside me
" You are lying or not, doesn't matter.... I just wanted to apologize for that balcony incident at the party.... I really didn't mean to do that.... It was a mistake... I really am sorry..... And if you want to continue to avoid me it doesn't matter... It's your call to stay friends with me or not... I am so done with your attitude towards a kiss.... Which didn't even happen.... I was drunk that day or it would have never happened .....i don't care what you think about me " Jungkook angrily stated and left me standing there
His words were the only thing kept repeating in my mind.... And I don't know when warm liquid was dripping from my eyes..... Those words hurt so much.... I wanted to keep distance from him... And when he finally suggested to do that , I feel like something in me broke.... I felt like I wanted to be near him not far from him... I didn't care.... After all these years he finally said...... I felt terrible......
I wiped my tears and composed myself.... This is best for us... I have my carrier in front of me... I can't just become weak because of some unknown feelings.....keeping distance will make me feel better
*/*/*/
Dinner was good but I lost my appetite so i ate very little because of certain someone who was sitting opposite to me on dinner table.. The thing that hurt the most was he was behaving like i was not on the dinner table.. He always teased me but never ignored me... I could tell my unnies and oppas could sense the tension between us too.... But they didn't said anything to us
After dinner everyone planned to watch a movie but i didnt have Enough strength to look normal in front of them and I had a ad shoot tomorrow..so i suggested to go to my dorm... I was about to call our driver oppa... Jin oppa interrupted
" Why are you disturbing... Driver hyung so late at night... Jungkook will drop you " Jin oppa said in a dominating tone, which was for jungkook i think.
" No oppa, why would he miss movie because of me....i will go by myself " I suggested still not looking at jungkook, I know he is glaring at me
" No, I will drop you anyways I don't like this movie " Jungkook said in a tone that meant just drop the act and come with me
I protested further but my unnies liked the suggestion so much that they immediately agreed and countered my every argument... I know they are doing it to solve Awkwardness between me and jungkook but I don't think this will solve Anything
I said goodbyes to unnies and oppa... I collected my bag and took a lift to parking lot... Where jungkook was already waiting for me in his car....
The first thing came to my mind was boys who drive car with ease look sexy and if that boy is jungkook then you can't just take your eyes off him... But my situation was totally different with him.... I just can't stand his face right now.... He behaved so high and mighty in front of my unnies ...Does he not remember his words a few hours ago....those words are hurting me so much... And he behaves like he doesn't care.... And that hurt much more..
He started the car and I got comfortable in passenger seat ...
It's not like I am weak type of person but it just that some persons make you feel like you are not worth it , you don't deserve their love or friendship.. This is my situation with jungkook...
Our 97 liner group formed back in late 2016 .....just few months after our debut...bambam indtroduced me and rose unnie with 97 liners except jungkook....he didn't have time to visit us....i became close with other 97 liners....and then one day we planned to hangout that day jungkook was also free so he came , as a Junior I always admired him, you can see his passion for dance and singing in his eyes, everything about him was perfect and when I got to meet him for the first time I admired him much more, he was so handsome and kind in person.... He said a simple hi to me and rose.. And then proceeded to talk with other members.... That day I felt butterflies in my stomach... So cheesy right? But I couldnt help but feel attracted towards him.... He left early saying a bye with a smile on his face.....
I found his bunny smile was the most innocent and attractive thing in him.....from that day I wanted to bring smile on his face... But that never happened..... He would talk with all girls except me, first I thought it was because of shipping but when I sometimes approached him... He clearly ignored me... I realised that time he genuinely didn't like me... I really liked him back then.... But as the time passed I got used to his teasing and insults for me.... Everyone in the group took this thing as a joke.... I only know how I faked a smile while his words were hurting me.....
Its been years but jungkook never praised me.... Never interacted with me normally...never flirted with me... He flirts with rose and others.. Even give complements to them.... But with me it never happened..... He never said he didn't like me but his actions would tell otherwise..... I felt so worthless in his presence.....i started feeling inferior.....I don't know why but I always had this desire that he would praise me or give me some compliment on my hardwork..... My fans, my unnies, my friends praised me but it always looked incomplete without his compliment.... I may sound desperate but I know what it feel like when the certain someone who you admire does not even notice your efforts.....
Suddenly I jerked forward... The car stopped... We reached my dorm... I took a glance at him.... He was looking angry... I feel so frightened to talk to him...
" Umm thanks for the ride.....would you like to come inside " I said with a trembling voice
Stupid! Stupid! Lisa, you really like humiliating yourself right....... Why would you ask him to come inside
" Yes, that would be great.... My neck is stiff " He said rotating his neck
We parked the Car in our dorm parking lot.... And took lift for our dorm.... This is so weird.... I and jungkook lonely in our dorm.... What type of insult he is preparing now....what's going on his mind... First he agreed to drop me.... Now he wants to come to my dorm
We entered our dorm.... I placed the keys on the table... And without taking a glance over him I moved towards the kitchen.... I took out water bottle... And poured it into the glass.... The whole time my hands were treambling....i don't know what is going on his mind now....i want him to go as soon as possible.. If he start to talk about today I am gonna lose my mind either I will cry or slap him.....I entered the living room to see him sitting on front sofa....
"Here " I said to jungkook placing tray on the table
He took the glass of water and started starring at me..... Now what did I do now.... Huh.... This man always confuses me..
I don't want to be in his presence...today I am too weak for that.....i started going back to kitchen...then I felt a hand on my shoulder.... He turned me around.... Now we were standing so close his hands were still on my shoulders.... What's the matter now.....
I took a glance at him and he was already looking at me with so much intencity..... I tried to free myself from his hold but this man is too strong... Huh...
" Jungkook, let me go, what do you want " I said with a slight angry voice
" Did you cry, after I left the balcony "he said directly looking into my eyes...
What's with him and his straight forwardness.... Why was he asking me now... Why do he care..... When he clearly said I don't care.... I can't understand this man ever
" No, why would I " I lied in a low voice not meeting his eyes
" Say it , directly looking into my eyes " He whisperd and placing his hand below my chin and making me look into his eyes
His eyes, I loved these brown orbs, I could sense his emotions by looking into his eyes, his eyes held regret, they were looking for answers.....yes, I cried..... It hurts jungkook.... Your ignorance always hurt me..... I tried to convey my emotions through my eyes
" I am so sorry " He said wiping my tears.... That's when I realised I was crying.... I was so engrossed in my thoughts.... I didn't knew when I started crying.... This man makes me weak.... Makes me feel those emotions that I never felt.... I just hate him.... I tried to free myself from his hold....
Before I could try something more he forcefully hugged me tightly and started patting my back thats when I gave up.....I started crying so Hysterically on his shoulder like my life depended on it.... I wanted this to happen for a long time....i wanted him to understand me..... I just couldn't stop crying....my emotions were on another level.....i started saying I hate you in low voice and he replied with sorry .........his sorry were washing all the insults, ignorance he gave me all these years......slowly I stopped crying but clinged on him ...i didn't want to leave him just yet.... I felt so safe there... I liked it here.... His hands patting my back just gave me so much feels....
He broke the hug...... Looked directly into my eyes with a smile....that made me smile too..my cheeks were gone red from Emberessment....he Took my hand and led me to the sofa.... We sat there quietly for sometime....i literally didn't knew what to say....i was stealing glances ....and I think he was doing the same too...just sitting beside him made me so happy....who would believe this guy made me cry few hours ago .... I felt light headed... I am too much enjoying this moment for my own good
" I am sorry lisa, look I will be honest with you that day I was drunk so I was out of mind and you were looking so beautiful..... I could not resist " He said those words with trembling voice not meeting my gaze..... He looked so cute
" It's okk, it was my fault too, I was out of my mind too that day.... I am sorry too for ignoring your calls... I was afraid to lose you " The words slipped out of my mouth before I could think
He immediately looked at me with a teasing smile on his face.....oh god Lisa you don't even know how to talk.....i feels embarrassing....I am sure my cheeks looks like tomato now...
" So it was misunderstanding from both the side, let's start a fresh, would you be my friend lisa? " Jungkook asked so cutely looking hopefully towards me
" Yes I would be your friend but you have to promise me.....You will behave normally with me like you behave with rose unnie and other girls..... You will not ignore me and if I look good you have to compliment me too " I said with my head held high
Stupidity is in your blood lisa ...... Awards for stupidity are made for you Lisa........what was going in my mind while I said these words....oh god... This looks so desperate...
" No, this can't happen I can't behave like I behave with my other 'girl ' friends " He said in teasing tone, standing from sofa coming right in front me....
I looked at him in confusion.... This guy will never change.... Huh, see lisa now you understand why you shouldn't have said those words....ofcourse ....how will Mr Jeon jungkook survive without insulting me..... But his next words sent chills down my body
" Because you are special, you always have been.... " He said coming closer to me.. And then he bend forward to peck my right cheek....i felt warmth on my cheek....the blood was rushing to my cheeks.... I felt my heartbeat increase.....i felt special.... Yes, jungkook you succeeded to make me feel special and this time it was for good.....from this moment something changed between us.... Our smiles were proof of it
" I wanted to seal our friendship..... See you bye... " He said standing at the door while I was still remincing the moment..... I am loving this feeling
Okk guys first of all I am so sorry.... I am updating so late..... But I couldn't do anything.... My college started.... So I didn't updated.... Really sorry
From now on I am going to update twice a week....
And yes I am going to write short jungkook POV chapter... I may post that tomorrow....
And.... And.... And I can't keep calm because.... Our story is at 70 place in liskook category.... Omg... I can't believe it.... Thank you so much guys it means a lot.... 😘😘
I know I am not up to the the mark... But I will keep inproving....
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