Saturday was horrible, there was so much social media content to put out for FP3 and Quali. Add a huge hangover from all the sugar in those cocktails and VERY loud cars.
After Qualifying and a quick video with the drivers, I decided to go back up to my room and have an early night.
This morning I actually woke up refreshed for once. I got up early made some coffee and had a shower. When I got out I saw that the light on my phone screen go off. Odd. I walk over and check my notifications.
1 missed call - Ryan
Without even thinking I pushed the return call button.
It was on! Hope raged through me, but slowly faded when it just rang and rang and rang. Seriously! I shouldn't have left my phone so far away when I've been waiting to get hold of him if I was just a few seconds earlier.
The rest of the day didn't go too well either. The boy's positions were not far from expected but I could see Daniel was having a difficult time with it when he disappeared into the motorhome for an hour after the race had ended. I had a small chat with Nico to see if he still loved me and he said that I owed him a beer when he was back in Enstone and hugged it out.
I checked my phone a couple more times before I decided to reply to Dan's message from Saturday morning.
Hey Dan, still keen on that chat? - Lex
Your room, 7:30?
I'll get some snacks 😊
So here I am anxiously sitting on the floor in front of my bed - Yes the floor, I'm too nervous to sit on a moving object right now. I don't even know why I messaged him, I mean what are we going to talk about. I'm sure he doesn't want to hear my sob stories or listen to why I said all those things about Ryan.
Oh god, what I blurted out at the club in front of him and Mike is playing through my head over and over. Oh, that's right we're here to talk about him and his race and how things are going. We'll chill and everything will be fine. No need to bring up any of my crap.
I check up on my appearance one more time. The only things I have left, are a pair of denim shorts and a red tank top. I've left my hair loose to air dry after my shower and didn't even bother to put shoes on, we're going to be in here anyway.
And then, a knock on the door. Always with the dramatics huh Lex? Why am I talking to myself? Get the door!
"Hey! " I greet him with a huge smile.
"Howdy Darlin" that iconic lopsided smirk ever present. He looks rough but better than before. His hair is still wet so he's had a shower. Damn Alexia, this isn't healthy. The man is not a piece of meat he's a colleague and you are not available!
"How you doing?" I reciprocate his hug but jump back when I repeat the fact that I am NOT available for the last time in my head.
"I'm alright, are you?" he says laughing at my sudden recoil.
I laugh it off, "I'm fine just need a glass of wine to cool off from the weekend. Want one?"
"Sure, whatever you're having"
"Don't even say it Ricciardo, I'm mortified after Friday night's escapades. I'm not normally like that and it was extremely inappropriate for me to have just blurted that out the way I did, or whatever. You don't deserve to be pulled into my business and-"
"Lex, chill. We're friends and everyone has their days. They never come at the 'right time' or when you expect it to, but the important ones stand by you and won't judge you for one drunken night. We're fine."
All of a sudden he's right next to me screwing the cap back on to the wine bottle. "Lex.." his hand pulling my chin to look at him. "you're crying again. I hate seeing you like this. Talk to me, that's why I'm here."
I step away from his hand and wipe these damn tears that won't stop flowing lately. It's ridiculous.
"It's normal when you're going through something."
"Shit I said that out loud? I think I'm going crazy Daniel."
"No you're not crazy", he sits on the couch next to the bed and motions me to come sit next to him by patting the seat. I bring my glass and bring the bottle too.
"You wanna talk about the race?" I ask trying to change the subject. He takes a big sip of his wine and shakes his head.
"Nope, you wanna talk about whatever the hell has got you so twisted?"
"Nope" I shake my head and take two sips while he laughs at me.
"Well okay then, you got a Playstation in this room?" He gets up and starts looking around the TV cabinet.
"I didn't get the chance to watch any TV, nevermind look for a games console."
"Just my room then" he laughs and I can't help but join him. It's so easy to be with him I can't help but compare everything about the way he treats me to the way Ryan does. I have to fix things when I get home, this is the longest we've gone without talking properly and it's killing me inside.
We decide on a comedy, yet another Adam Sandler movie. Something about him reminds me of Dan, maybe it's the fact that they're both such goofballs in the best way possible. We laughed throughout the entire movie and the next and then we took to chatting about everything for another hour while the credits rolled, not even noticing it was over. Somewhere between the first and second movie we moved to the bed, it was just more comfortable that way.
I realized that Daniel had all the qualities I strive to have in my own life, he was kind, generous and completely selfless. He values family above everything and is driven beyond measure. I admire him so much more as a driver and as a person now that I know him and am so thankful to be able to have this... I wish I could say the same for Ryan. I wish he would just open up to me and let me in. It brings a tear to my eyes
"These damn tears! I'm fine, really Ryan and I are just going through some things and I miss him. That's all." It's all I could manage to get out.
"You guys will be okay, he'd be crazy to give up on someone like you." Cue the waterworks.
"It's getting late, we should call it a night."
"Sure." He gets up and starts to pack away our trail of snacks and bottles.
"Oh, Danny you really don't have to do any of that."
"It's the least I could do, Lex. I needed this."
"No I needed this, thank you!"
After a quick clean up it's time to say goodbye, he's going back to Monaco tomorrow and I'll only see him in a week's time. He steps towards me with his arms spread wide. I walk into him while he envelopes me in a comfy bear hug. We just stand for a while our time together draws to a close. He's the first to let go and I force myself to step away.
"Goodbye Lex, I'll see you soon."
"Bye Danny, thanks for.. Everything." I smile
He smiles back and closes the door behind him.
-
After another 21 hour flight back to London and a 2-hour car ride I was back at home, Mike had a car at the airport and offered to give me a lift since I had taken a taxi there. Ryan was using my car while his was being worked on and I still hadn't gotten hold of him to come and fetch me.
I stood outside my front door, suitcase in tow, for about 5 mins before I gained the courage to walk back into my life. I was about to turn the knob when it turned by itself and a very handsome Ryan stood before me with a huge smile on his face.
"You going to come in or just stand there all day, princess?"
"I was thinking, I'd freeze up a bit more so that you had something to defrost."
He laughed and took my suitcase from my hands, dragged it to the stairs and wrapped me up in his arms. "Fuck, I missed you baby! This house has never been quieter without your singing in the kitchen."
I stood there in his arms just taking in the moment, dreading the imminent conversation we would have in about an hour.
"I missed you too, more than you can imagine."
"So tell me everything, how was your first race." Kind of confused by his enthusiasm, but at the same time not really. He does love me deep down and I know he missed me. He's just going through something, but we'll get to that.
I told him all about it, the cars and the drivers. I told him how I got to see Carlos again so the whole missing the farewell thing didn't really matter anymore. I told him about the team dinner and the things I had the drivers do for the Aussie vlog compilation. He laughed when I told him that Daniel had embarrassed me at the table and I smacked him upside the head.
Then it was time for me to ask what was going on and why we hadn't spoken.
"Now is not the time, it doesn't matter. You're home now." He shakes his head vigorously trying to defuse the situation.
"I.. But" I started to argue but the look he gave me, reminded me to pick my fights. I got up and took my suitcase with me without saying a word.
After being away from him for so long the fights began to blur away when he started to kiss me. Physically connecting was never an issue for us. He knew every inch of my body and I knew every inch of his. We connected on a deeper level this way. Words didn't have to get in the way and it was how we demonstrated our love for each other.
Jamie called later that day to let me know that he had some business to take care of at the UK division so I would be seeing him soon. I took the rest of the day to unpack, do washing and prepare my report for work the next day.
Its Thursday, Jamie is sitting across from me at my desk and throwing my pens at me one by one out of its holder trying to piss me off and it's working. I grab the holder and chuck it at him hard. "For fuck sakes Jamie! I'm trying to work!"
"and I'm trying to put some substance into my belly, come on kid get your head out of that screen and come eat with me."
"Fine, but put my shit back where you found it. Every. Single. One Jamie!" I say pointing at the mess he's made around my desk. I turn to get my jacket that's around the back of my chair and kick a pen towards his hand on the floor.
"Done", he says with a full-toothed grin.
We're sitting at one of the tables in the cafeteria chatting about plans for the weekend when Erin's nasally laugh interrupts. She slides onto Jamie's lap, " What about this weekend babe?"
"Actually Erin, we were just talking about going down to the local pub for a couple of drinks, eat some good oily bar food. What do you say?" I say knowing that every detail of that situation would gross her out on a basic level.
My brother just shook his head and rolled his eyes waiting for her reply. "Well if Jamie is there, I'll be there. Right, babe?" Ew! Now they're kissing. More like eating each other's faces... just no.
Well if she's coming I have to invite Jen to come with I couldn't possibly handle an entire night with Erin and my brother doing this all night on my own.
"Dollface!" I hear from behind me, the unmistakable German making his entrance.
"My sugarbear!" Jaime shouts in reply.
Damn idiots, can't take them anywhere. You'd swear we were already at the pub. "Nic, I didn't know you were going to be here this week!" I look at my brother with my meanest glare. He should have told me.
"So now I can't surprise my little sister?" he mocks being hurt and offended.
Nico kisses the top of my head and I notice the look of jealousy clear on Erin's face. "What's up with that?" I ask Jen we're on the phone while I'm making supper for Ryan and I. Jamie is staying at Erin's while he's here.
"She probably made a move for him at some stage and he turned her down. Nico's got taste unlike that slut brother of yours."
"Woah! Harsh much? He might have a bad choice in women, but he's still my brother."
"Yeah you're right, I'm sorry. But Erin - really?" we both laugh at her comments. It's good to talk to Jen. I've been so busy lately it's hard to find time around juggling Ryan and work these days.
"So is Daniel joining us on Saturday?" She asks expectantly
"Daniel? He's at home in Monaco?"
"Actually he should be arriving anytime now, he and the technicians have some tests set up for the upcoming race."
"Oh, I had no idea.."
"What's that tone. Aren't you and him on good terms?" I really hate that she knows me so well. It's not that we're on bad terms or anything, it's just that when we said goodbye at the hotel our friendship had changed somehow and it made me feel uneasy thinking about being around him and Ryan at the same time.
"No, we're fine. Just wasn't expecting to see him", just then I had a brilliant idea. He and Jen would be perfect for each other. He's a nice guy and Jen is lovely he'd be stupid not to be interested in her.
"Anyways babes, I've got to get going. My mom's calling me on the other line."
"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Love ya"
"You too honey." This would be fun, I feel a sense of excitement and ready to put my new plan in motion. Dinner is ready and Ryan is home early and we actually sat down together to eat for once. He's been really sweet this past week and things seem to be going back to normal. He's been home every night since I've been back and we've had a chance to spend some quality time together.
I make sure to mention our plans for Saturday night and all the parties involved not wanting a repeat of last time. I also tell him my plans to hook Dan and Jen up. He agrees that it's a good idea, but that I should probably let my brother and Nico know before the time to get Dan on board. It's a good idea and I make a mental note to bring it up to them tomorrow.
-
After a two-hour marketing meeting with Jeremy and Cyril, we finally broke for coffee. I walked down the stairs as fast as these heels could carry me. I'm wearing a black mid-calf strappy dress, with white leaf patterns all over. Black vinyl boots and my camel suede biker jacket. I get to the coffee station and there he is.
"Mr Ricciardo." I tip my imaginary top hat to him.
"Miss Parks." he curtsies and flares his shirt out on either side pretending it's a dress.
This guy. I roll my eyes at him while I giggle, "why you would choose to be the lady is beyond me" I say as I hugged him.
"Well, you were the man, so.. It just felt right." He burst out into a fit of laughs as I shook my head in bewilderment. "I was just on my way to bring this to you." He passes me one of two cups of coffee.
"Angel-child! I've taught you well." I smile widely as I take the cup from him and take a big sip, burning my lips in the process.
"Shit! That's fucking hot!" I shout without acknowledging my surrounds.
"Potty, potty mouth! Tsk Tsk! And in the workplace too." he mocks
"Well, now that I've out-right burned my lips off. It's good to see you Danny" He smiles and leads the way to a table nearby. I sit across him.
"You too, darlin' Monaco is quite boring now that I know what I'm missing back in Enstone."
I try to hide the fact that I caught on to his hidden message and change the topic to tomorrow's plans. "So, I hope you haven't got anything planned for tomorrow, because it's bound to be an interesting one. My brother and his new sidekick Erin, Ryan and I, Nico, Jen and yourself are going to be painting the town red at the local pub." I unconsciously count the people on my fingers.
"Well, I guess I don't have a choice, do I?"
"Nope, none at all", very pleased with myself.
"5 years old she is", he says, using my words against me. I love it though! I look at my wrist and spot the time.
"Six! Thank you very much!", with a wink I get up and back to work.
-
Later that day I called Nico, to let him in on my plan to hook Jen up with Dan and he was all for it, he said that before they arrive on Saturday he would lay some groundwork down and talk Jen up to Daniel and get him excited for some juicy love-making. I warned him that there would be no love-making at all it was just a hookup and maybe they'd kiss if all went according to plan.