Chapter 35
You know what was depressing? Sitting across from two snugged-up aliens in the living room as they watched E.T. Out of all the things Tony and Dededededede Be-ich could have picked, they chose E.T!
"You two should get a room." I muttered as I continued to grow sick of Tony and Dededededede Be-ich kissing and holding hands. Tomadachi, who had seated herself on my lap seemed to also be growing increasingly sick of the aliens.
"They can't help it!" Alfred protested from the kitchen bench, "Young love, you know?"
"That's just cheesy." I rolled my eyes, "And anyway, they are aliens. It's disturbing enough just seeing them let alone seeing them make out."
"You're just unromantic, Harley." Alfred shrugged, "And alienist."
"I am not!" I protested, "I just do not exactly feel comfortable sharing a house with aliens let alone aliens who seem to not be able to leave each other alone for a second."
"Dude, they are newlyweds." Alfred explained, "You got to feel sorry for me. I have lived with an alien since July 8th 1947."
"That's harsh." I agreed as I removed Tomadachi/Scruffy of my lap, "But I didn't know they got married? I guess things really do move fast in New York."
"Yep. They sure do." Alfred agreed, "They got married three weeks ago." he explained.
How two aliens could ever lead normal lives let alone get married was just puzzling. Sure, I was curious to know, but I decided it was probably best not to ask.
"Well, congratulations then." I muttered as I glared at the two aliens. They still were too busy looking at each other to notice me even talking to them. It was weird actually, because they had been just staring at each other's eyes for around three minutes now.
"Want to order pizza?" Alfred asked me as he started the blender up to make his fifth banana milkshake this evening.
Remembering the pile of pizza that got ordered last time I was here, I shook my head. If I never saw another pizza again, it would be too soon. I was certain I would break out in hives if I even thought about pizza.
"Want to cook something and actually use your oven?" I replied with a sarcastic question. What was the point of Alfred even owning an oven when all he bought was takeaway to eat? I just did not get these countries, they had lived for so long, they should have had a very good logic, yet more often than not they chose not to display it.
I was not in too good of a mood. I was growing sick of 'The City Which Never Sleeps' despite only spending two nights there and currently being on the third night. The business of it was just really irritating me, and I know people would have killed to have spent a night in New York City, but right now I would have killed to spend a night in a really dull place.
I was actually feeling really stressed out with the mission, which did not help my mood. I was yet to find any information that would be useful for Russia from the countries which meant I was yet to earn the a million dollars I had been guaranteed. Also the 'finale' of the mission, or at least that is what I had called it was making me feel a little sick. I was not an arsonist or a bomb fanatic! I did not want to plant a bomb let alone even carry one, but in three weeks that would be exactly what I was doing, to guarantee me loads of money! Perhaps 10 million if all went to plan.
It was sad, but I was beginning to settle for these countries my being friends. I was all for Ivan/Russia taking over the world but throwing a bomb into the plotting of world domination just did not seem fair. Why not build up strength rather than take away others strength? When was doing stuff for millions to much to do for millions? Was planting a bomb worth 10 million dollars? How many people would plant a bomb for 10 million dollars?
It irritated me even more, that if I looked out the window of Alfred's unit, I could see the UN Building where I would have to plant the bomb.
What an ethical dilemma! To plant the bomb or not plant the bomb?...that is the question...
"We could go out for dinner or something?" Alfred suggested, breaking my thoughts, "Not to Mickey D's but to a restaurant or something?"
"Sounds good." I nodded after a few seconds. It would probably do me some good to get out of Alfred's apartment.
"Right." Alfred smiled as he jumped over his kitchen bench. Yes, he jumped on top of the bench and then off it, landing his feet on the floor of the living room. Why could no country ever just do stuff normally!? I mean, honestly! They seemed more country than human at the best of times.
I looked down at myself in disgust. I was wearing the most sloppiest outfit I had worn all year. Black tracksuits, a white t-shirt two times bigger than my actual size, my hair which was dyed brown was tied up in a messy topknot. It was entirely terrible!
"Give me five minutes to get dressed." I told Alfred as I got up from the couch, dusting myself off and quickly walking down the hallway making a right turn to my room.
I was in a different room to the one Alfred had put me in last time. Lucky Tony got to keep his own bedroom this time however, he had to share it with his new wife. I was stuck in a room no bigger than a broom closet.
Alfred was just too accepting of who he let in his apartment. A mass-murderer could have just walked up to him and said "Hey, I got nowhere to stay, so can I stay in your apartment?"
And he would accept them with open arms.
That was pretty much what I said to get into Alfred's apartment. As soon as I rocked up in New York I got a taxi to Alfred's apartment, knocked on the door and was like, "Hey Al, I got kicked out of my house. Do you mind if I stay here for like two weeks?"
Naturally Alfred had said yes, just like he had accepted Tony into his home or even Dededededede Be-ich. Alfred seemed to have a thing for accepting strays into his home. Maybe he was used to the states rocking up to his place to stay or something?
I had no idea what to wear. I badly wanted to dress to fit into to New York City style but that seemed a little impossible when I was Moscow born and bred. After lying on my bed for another ten minutes, I eventually decided to wear a beige turtle neck top with a black pleated skirt and black ballet flat shoes.
I walked out of my room and down the hallway, seeing Alfred who had changed his jeans to another pair of jeans and changed his plain yellow shirt to a plain blue shirt. New York City fashion, hey? We looked like we were going to completely different events.
"Tony!" Alfred yelled to get the attention of Tony who was till busy staring at Dededededede Be-ich, "Dude the dog's a pet, not a snack, okay? I just don't want a repeat of what happened last time we had a dog here, pal."
"F******." Tony said as he put his thumbs up,
"Cool." Alfred nodded, "We'll be back in an hour or two. Call if you need anything, I left a one hundred dollar bill in the cookie jar if you want to order pizza or something." he told the aliens as he grabbed his car keys.
Remind me not to get a cookie out of Alfred's cookie jar again. Money in the cookie jar seemed quite a bit unhygienic.
"Do you think Scruffy will be alright?" I asked Alfred as I shut the apartment door behind us, unable to get what Alfred had said to Tony off my mind.
"Yeah Harley." Alfred grinned as we walked down the corridor, to the lift, "Tony, this one time years ago, decided he was hungry and ate my girlfriend's Saint Bernard, thinking it was a gift for him."
"Oh." I said, not sure whether to laugh or feel nauseas, "Tony ate a Saint Bernard?" I mean, Tony was the six of a ten year old and Saint Bernard's were even bigger! Surely I heard wrong.
"Yeah, he was really hungry." Alfred shrugged, "But you know, it was decades ago."
"What happened to the girl?" I asked, feeling a little curious about how someone would react if they were told an alien had ate their pet.
"Well the house I was at had a really dodgy fence, so when I had realized what Tony had done, I sort of dictated her beliefs by stating that the only way her dog could have disappeared was if he ran out of the yard by jumping over the fence." Alfred chuckled as he reminisced, "We broke up soon after that."
"That's tough." I smiled sympathetically at Alfred as I pressed the button to open the lift.
...
"So how many assets do you have?" I asked after I finished eating a spoonful of Spicy Tomato & Coconut Fish Soup.
"A lot." Alfred smirked as he stuffed a fork of Pumpkin & Ricotta Lasagna into his mouth.
The restaurant was quite pretty, sort of having a blue-brown design, yellow lights and a slow, relaxing pace to it. The food on the other hand was sort of weird. Like who the hell ever came up with a recipe for something called, "Spicy Tomato & Coconut Fish Soup"? It seemed a little crazy to me.
"Yes but what range? Like, do your assets include aliens?" I smirked as I took a sip from my glass of wine. I seriously did not want to drink the wine considering what happened to me last time I drank alcohol in reference to Francis' party, however not to wreck the mood, I was drinking it.
"Fifty houses." Alfred shrugged like that was totally normal to own fifty houses, "But I usually rent them out to family and stuff."
"You have quite the empire." I smiled, guessing that Alfred probably owned a house in each state.
"Yeah." Alfred agreed sounding almost modest before he added, "I own cars and a yacht too."
"A yacht?" I grinned. Now that was a bit cool!
"It's in the harbor." Alfred explained, "We can take it out tomorrow, if you want?"
"Yes." I nodded, "That will be pretty cool."
(A/N:
Sorry for my inactivity, duty calls in the form of school, however, the finished product of this story is nearing! (Not an over-estimation this time! xD) Actually, if I have any luck, I reckon I could finish writing it this weekend! Yay! But also...:(
Anyway, the new tablet should be arriving today, so I can update more frequently without scabbing of the local Free Wi-FI. Also, as a sincere apology to my inactiveness, I will do a triple update today, starting with this chapter! :D
Hope you enjoyed it and thank you for reading!)