"There's no space in my heart
Where I don't want to love you"
James Morrison
Harry woke very slowly the following morning, drifting back and forth between consciousness and sleep. He was aware he was hot – overly so. He also became aware that the reason for this was the warm body pressed along his back, which prompted his eyes to spring open and his body to stiffen up – in more ways than one.
Louis was draped along his back and had his legs intertwined with Harry's, an arm slung round his waist lightly. He was in a deep slumber, the only sound his steady breathing and soft snuffling noises. Harry had to fight back a smile as he snorted out a little huff of breath.
As he lay there, he began to become hyper aware of the lack of space between their bodies and while he gave a fleeting consideration to how perfectly they fit together, he knew he had to put some distance between them or he was going to roll over and pin Louis to the mattress.
He tried to shuffle himself forward, intending to slip out of the bed as quietly as possible. The movement, however, disturbed Louis, who reached out with a small mewl of protest, tightening the arm around Harry's waist and pulling him back, flush against his front as he exhaled, nuzzling closer and dropping back into a deep sleep.
Harry closed his eyes, fighting the need to push his hips back at the feeling of Louis' morning wood pushing up against his arse. He could feel his cock filling up and his body was humming with awareness. He slid a hand down to squeeze himself, willing the erection away and gulping as he fought the raging desire.
He was just getting ready to wake Louis up and slide out of the bed, when Louis let out a sigh, his hands travelling down to grab Harry's hips in a tight grip, fingers digging in as his hips thrust forward, pushing his bulging shaft against Harry's bum and drawing a gasp from him as he felt a bolt of sensation shoot through him.
"Fuuuuccckkk" he breathed, his body tingling from head to toe. Every nerve in his body was on fire and he was waging an internal war not to push back against Louis. It was a herculean effort and he felt his resolve slipping.
Louis let out a small moan in his sleep, thrusting again and digging his fingers harder into Harry's hip bones as he started a slow, grinding rhythm.
Harry let out a small whimper, squeezing his eyes shut and taking a moment to simply revel in the feel of Louis' body rocking into his, their briefs the only barrier between them. He told himself he would pull away in just one more second, just one more thrust, but could feel his body responding, hips pushing back of their own accord and he wasn't at all sure he would be able to, that he was strong enough. He allowed himself to get lost in the feeling, the moment, rolling his hips in time with Louis' now and palming himself in time with the thrusts.
It was when Louis breathed out his name in a sleepy whisper that Harry came to his senses, shooting out of the bed clumsily, desperate to get away. The movement woke Louis, who sprang awake disoriented and confused.
"Wha... Harry?" He looked over at Harry, who was panting and wide-eyed, lips red from being bitten and cheeks flushed. His pupils were blown and Louis was distracted by how incredibly hot he looked, before he became aware of his own state and looked down at his aching length. He blushed and glanced back up at Harry, whose state was much the same and who was now refusing to meet his eyes as he stammered out an excuse before fleeing to the bathroom.
When Harry had disappeared into the bathroom, the running water indicating he was taking a shower, Louis fell back onto his pillow, staring at the ceiling. He'd been dreaming he was grinding on Harry and now he realised it wasn't a dream. He'd been going at Harry like there was no tomorrow and that was just all kinds of humiliating – oh God! He threw an arm over his eyes, groaning.
His balls were practically blue, his erection painful and he needed to get that sorted before Harry came out of the bathroom. He checked the water was still running and then slid a hand into his pants, trying not to think too much about what he was doing. A handful of brief tugs were all it took to bring on his climax and he quickly cleaned himself off with a tissue, wanting to be somewhat composed when Harry returned.
Meanwhile, Harry had stepped under the running water, trying to calm himself. His body was screaming, the need flowing through him, making his cock ache and he immediately lathered up a hand and wasted no time wrapping it around himself and stroking, imagining Louis on his knees in front of him, mouth wrapped around him. He was coming so quickly it was embarrassing and he rested his forehead against the tiles, wondering how his life had become such a goddam soap opera.
***
Louis was sitting on the bed, head in his hands, when Harry slipped out of the bathroom and into the room, keeping his distance from the bed, his body rigid with tension.
Louis sighed. "Oh My God, Haz, I'm sorry. I know that was awkward as fuck, but in my defence, I was asleep. I didn't realise what I was doing, alright?" He looked up at Harry to find him battling to keep back a grin, suddenly finding the whole thing humorous.
Harry huffed out a laugh. "Fuck Lou" he chuckled, running a hand down over his face and groaning. "You're not making it easy on me are you?"
Louis chortled. "God we're a bloody mess aren't we?" he grinned, then sighed. "I knew this was gonna be hard, but like, I really had no idea just how hard."
"Yeah" added Harry with a giggle "really hard – get it?"
He laughed then, Louis shaking his head as he watched Harry snicker at his own joke and fighting to keep the smile from his own lips but losing the battle. How could he not be completely endeared by the goofy boy in front of him?
Harry's body relaxed then, and he walked over to stand in front of Louis. Louis leaned out and rested his forehead on Harry's stomach, right where his butterfly tattoo sat.
"This is torture H" he whined. "I'm so fucking attracted to you it hurts."
Harry reached down and ran a hand through Louis' hair, Louis leaning into to the touch immediately.
"I know Lou, I feel the same way and it's so unfair" he reached down and ran a finger over the lettering on Louis' collarbone "but it is what it is, right? We just need to make the best of things."
"Yeah, I know" Louis replied. "And truth be told, it's probably better this way when I have to go home in a couple of months anyway."
Harry felt something heavy settle over him at Louis' words. "Yeah, I guess" he replied softly, then he took a deep breath and put on a cheery voice as he added "so get your lazy arse up and have a shower. I'll make us a tea and call Niall to have him pick us up on his way to work."
***
The next week passed with Louis maintaining a determination to prove to both himself and Harry that he could conquer this. He felt a renewed sense of hope and threw himself into his therapy with all the determination he could muster. They also spent most nights of the week together as a group, Niall and Zayn having become almost inseparable since their kiss at the Cock'n'Bull.
While Louis was all for them spending as much time together as possible, the downside was that he did now spend an inordinate amount of time wanking in the shower and in bed, trying to deal with the sexual frustration he was feeling. He knew Harry was struggling too, could see the hunger in his eyes sometimes, along with a hint of something more. The fact that they both wanted it somehow made it worse, but they were managing to hold it together and concentrate on Louis' progress.
When the Monday after his meltdown saw him dog paddling in the deeper water without holding onto Harry's shoulder, he felt a burst of pride blossoming in his chest. Candy was gliding around him in big circles and Harry was cheering, hands in the air as he swam in the water beside him, his eyes alight and his expression so tender, so fond, that it sent a wave of warmth flowing through Louis' body. He laughed loudly, joyfully, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he felt it fill him up.
Harry smiled over at Louis as he dog-paddled on the spot, laughing with unbridled happiness at reaching the goal they'd set last Tuesday and his chest ached with all the love he felt for him. He was so proud he thought he may burst. When Louis reached out to him, seeking his support once again, he swam straight over, sliding his arms up to hold Louis' waist as Louis gripped his shoulders.
He laughed again, his eyes twinkling, and Harry thought he'd never seen anything more beautiful.
"I did it Haz!" Louis beamed at him.
"You did babe" Harry replied, grinning back at him. "I'm so proud of you!"
They made their way back to the platform and Candy swam up beside them, squeaking and bobbing up and down, almost like she knew something big had happened.
Louis couldn't wipe the smile off his face as he watched her, riding high on adrenaline and success. "Yes, Candy" he told her "I know I'm fabulous! You've never seen such a natural in the water, have you?"
Harry snorted, raising an eyebrow at him.
"What?" Louis challenged. "Are you disagreeing Styles? Are you saying I'm not fabulous?" He then proceeded to pout at Harry, pretending to be wounded.
Harry couldn't help the way his face turned fond. "Of course not" he replied softly. "You are incredible Lou, don't ever doubt it."
Louis blushed as he smiled back at Harry, more touched than he'd ever let on by Harry's words.
***
Zayn now made it a habit to sit under the same tree every day, sketching the scenes that were spread out before him. He also had a habit of sketching pictures of Niall on a regular basis, which was what he was working on today, a selfie they'd taken open on his phone to work from.
A small smile played at his lips as he sketched, just the thought of Niall able to make him happy. Ever since their kiss at the bar, things had progressed and Niall had stayed over two nights in the last week. There was something about the loud, brash boy that appealed to Zayn. It was like he balanced out Zayn's introverted nature and drew him out of himself and it was a heady feeling. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so comfortable with someone. Niall was just so genuinely lovely, that nobody could help but like him.
His pencil glided over the page, the lines forming quickly into a face he had grown to care for immensely. His fingers shaded the contours he now knew very well and in no time, Niall's features began to appear, smiling up at him from the page.
He immediately felt the familiar rush of exhilaration at seeing his work come to life. Art was, for him, essential to his happiness. It grounded him, was the central focus in his life. He couldn't imagine doing anything else.
He was so engrossed in his work that he didn't notice Niall approaching until he plopped down beside him on the grass. Niall's eyes widened as he took in the picture Zayn was drawing.
"Zayn, that's incredible!" he said quietly. "You're so talented, babe."
Zayn ducked his head, biting his lip as he blushed little at Niall's praise. "Thanks" he murmured.
Zayn closed his sketch pad, popping it back into his backpack, then turned to face Niall. "Ready to go?" he asked.
Niall grinned. "Not quite yet" he said as he moved to straddle Zayn's lap, pulling him into a kiss that deepened immediately, tongues tangling and small moans escaping their mouths.
When Niall pulled back, Zayn was dazed and looked thoroughly debauched. Niall smirked at him. "Right, I'm ready to go now."
Zayn stared at him, his gaze dropping to Niall's lips and a slow smile curved his lips as he slid an arm up behind Niall's neck and pulled him down, mumbling "I'm not" as he smashed their mouths together once more.
When they parted, both panting, a few minutes later, Zayn looked smug and Niall was the one looking dazed.
"Now, I'm ready to go" Zayn chuckled.
***
When Niall and Zayn arrived at the dolphin pools, it was to the sight of Harry and Louis sitting on the shallow platform, feeding fish to Candy, rather than out of the pool.
"Shouldn't you guys be finished?" Zayn asked, confused.
Harry and Louis looked at each other, grinning, before Harry answered.
"Yes, but today, Louis has something to show you!" he told them excitedly.
Zayn looked at Louis with raised eyebrows and noticed he was almost vibrating with energy, a huge grin on his face. He looked happier than he had in weeks.
"What's going on?" Zayn asked.
"What's going on, dear Zayn, is that I'm awesome!" Louis replied. "Watch and be amazed at my newfound ability, love." He slid off into the water and he and Harry walked over to the drop off area, where he slid into the deeper water, Candy spiralling around him, and proceeded to dog-paddle around in a circle, laughing at the shocked look on Zayn and Niall's faces.
Zayn burst out laughing, overjoyed to see Louis swimming on his own. "Lou, that's fucking brilliant! Well done mate!" he called out.
Niall let out a loud whoop, pumping a fist into the air and hollering out encouragement in his usual loud fashion. "Way to go Tommo!" he yelled. "You're swimming like a pro man!"
When Louis reached out to Harry and Harry helped him get back to the shallow platform, he was buzzing. He jumped out and straight into Zayn's arms, Zayn squeezing him tightly.
He turned to high five a waiting Niall and then turned to Harry, who was watching with a grin as bright as the sun overhead.
"Thank you" he said as he launched himself at Harry, hugging him fiercely.
Harry swallowed around the lump in his throat and hugged him back, burying his face in Louis' neck for just a moment, before letting him go.
"This definitely calls for a celebration!" Niall told them. "We're going out tonight boys! I'll call Liam and make all the arrangements, but right now I'm about to expire from hunger, so can we grab some lunch?"
They all laughed and headed off to the café, Louis chattering excitedly to Zayn the whole time. Harry loved seeing him so happy after all they'd been through to get to this little milestone. It had been heavy going and Louis had worked so hard. They both had. He loved seeing the weight lifted off Louis' shoulders with each success they had.
When they'd finished lunch, Zayn and Louis headed home for a rest before they went out that night and Harry and Niall went back to work. Harry was on duty at the dolphin show that afternoon with Ashton and Luke, and Niall was cleaning out the penguin enclosure with Barb.
Louis was on a high all the way home, bouncing excitedly up and down and talking a mile a minute. Zayn indulged him, smiling fondly at him as he listened to his chatter, happy to see his friend becoming more like his old self.
***
"Harry?" Ian called out from his desk as Harry walked through the main office that afternoon. "Do you have a minute?"
Harry walked over into Ian's small square office. "Of course" he replied, sitting across from Ian.
Ian looked at him shrewdly for a moment before speaking, making Harry shift in his seat.
"I've been observing your progress with Mr. Tomlinson. Well done on your success so far. I can tell from your notes and speaking with Megan that this hasn't been an easy case."
"Thank you" Harry answered. "You're right – it hasn't been easy. Louis has worked really hard, though, and I'm proud of him."
"Mhm" Ian replied thoughtfully. "I know you've become good friends, Harry, and while there's nothing wrong with that, I am going to take this opportunity to urge you to be very careful where Mr Tomlinson is concerned. I have to be honest, as I've observed you, I have noticed a quality to your interaction that concerns me. Please bear in mind that any inappropriate relations between you would reflect badly on both this program and your credibility as a therapist. I would hate you to jeopardise your career, or worse, the reputation of this program."
Harry cleared his throat nervously. "I understand Ian. I won't let you down" he responded quietly.
Ian nodded. "Alright then. We'll leave it at that for the moment, but be aware that if I feel the need to transfer his rehabilitation over to me, I will do it Harry, make no mistake."
Harry stood. "Duly noted" he replied softly, before turning and leaving the office with his heart pounding in his ears.
***
Harry kept his discussion with Ian to himself, not wanting to spoil Louis' celebration that evening. Instead, he watched on fondly as Louis, Zayn and Niall made toast after toast to Louis, the content getting more and more ridiculous, the more they drank.
Louis was on a high, practically floating after the day's achievement, and Harry was smiling as he watched his boy enjoy the small victory he'd had. Harry decided to keep his drinking to minimum as it was obvious Louis was on a mission to get completely wasted, and them both being drunk could only lead to some really poor choices.
"To me!" Louis raised his glass in yet another drunken toast. "I'm gonna kick this thing's arse!" He looked across at Harry, winking as he added "me and Haz – we're the dream team!" As they threw back their drinks, Harry smiled at him and he grinned back at Harry, lips already blue from the shots they were downing.
"Right Tommo!" Niall all but yelled "let's hit the dance floor mate!" He dragged Louis by the shirt behind him and Louis went smiling and waving at Harry with a goofy affectionate look on his face. Zayn was chuckling, watching on lazily as he sat back in his chair, buzzed and content.
Liam and Sophia arrived a few minutes later and Liam shook his head, laughing at the two boys carving a trail through the bodies on the dance floor.
"God they've hit it early I see" Liam grimaced. "They'll be messy later."
"Oh yeah" Harry agreed. "They're already a bit messy to be honest."
"It's so good to see a glimpse of the old Louis, though" Zayn added quietly, a small smile playing on his lips. "Thought he may never come back, but that's him alright" he chuckled as Niall picked Louis up and spun him around, Louis tipping his head back, throwing his arms out and cackling as they circled the floor, bumping into people and generally causing a stir.
Harry shook his head fondly, heading over to the bar to get another round of drinks. As he was waiting to be served, he was approached by an attractive guy with black hair and a nice build. If Harry wasn't completely gone for Louis, he may have given the guy a second glance, but as it was he wasn't the least bit interested. The guy chatted and Harry was friendly, but not overly so. After he'd placed his order with the barmaid, he continued chatting with the guy amiably. Just as the guy got a little flirty, making him feel awkward, he found himself with an armful of Louis. Before he could even register what was happening, Louis' lips were on his and everything else faded away for a second, until Louis pulled back with a grin.
"Hello darling" he murmured in a low sexy voice, his breath ghosting across Harry's mouth.
Harry couldn't help his grin, replying "hello sweetums. Having a good time?"
"I am now" he replied, voice sexy and husky, before turning to the black haired guy and raising his eyebrows, looking him up and down.
"Can I help you?" he asked, hostility radiating off him. Harry couldn't help but be a little pleased at Louis' possessiveness, chuckling as Louis slid an arm around his waist. Harry squeezed him back, enjoying the show.
The dark haired guy held up his hands in surrender. "Settle down mate – didn't know he was taken, alright?"
"Well, you do now" replied Louis "so off you go." He waved his hands dismissively and it was all Harry could do to hold the laughter in as the guy left, clearly put out.
When he'd walked away, Louis let his hand drop and proceeded to pretend like nothing out of the ordinary had happened, so Harry took his lead and let it go. He did, however, file the memory away for later – jealous Louis was so hot and Harry was only human OK?
They carried the drinks back to the table and after downing theirs quickly, Louis and Niall hit the dance floor again, but not before Niall had plonked himself in Zayn's lap and kissed him in a display that was best left for private.
"Jesus" Liam muttered while Sophia had a fit of the giggles beside him. "Settle down you two! Break it up, will you? They'll toss us out if you keep that up!"
They pulled apart and both grinned at Liam before Niall grabbed Louis' hand and dragged him off to, as he described it "share their magic talent with the world."
***
When Liam left at eleven to stay over at Sophia's place, Harry decided he'd better round up his troops as well. They all had work the following day and Niall and Louis were not going to be happy campers as it was.
Getting the two of them out to the car was like herding cats and it took both Zayn and Harry to keep the boys upright, their legs having gone to jelly apparently. Zayn was staggering along with Niall draped all over him, singing an old Irish folk song at the top of his voice.
Harry was able to hold Louis up easily enough, taking his weight and slipping an arm around his shoulders. Louis was wrapped around his waist, cuddled into him, murmuring nonsensically.
They decided to all crash at Harry and Niall's place, and when Harry pulled into the driveway, both Niall and Louis were asleep. It took a bit of waking, but he and Zayn managed to get both boys lucid enough to walk, assisted, to the front door and through to the bedrooms. Zayn disappeared into Niall's room with him, bidding Harry a good night as he struggled to get Louis into his own room. He intended to get Louis settled, then go and sleep in Liam's bed to avoid a repeat of the other morning.
He sat Louis down on the bed and Louis fell backward, throwing his arms out to the sides and giggling.
"Fuck Haz" he slurred heavily "m'so wasted."
"Yep" Harry smiled "you sure are." He crouched down to slip Louis' shoes off.
"S'okay though" Louis smiled sleepily at him as he stood back up. "Got you to take care of me."
"Yeah Lou" Harry grinned at him fondly "I'll take care of you."
"So good to me Haz, so good..." the sentence trailed off as Louis' eyes drifted closed, only to spring open a second later.
"C,mon babe" Harry said quietly, patting his thigh. "Let's get these jeans off, they're too tight to sleep in comfortably."
For some reason, this was hysterically funny to Louis, who started laughing as he shuffled further back onto the bed. "Tryna get in my pants H?" he giggled.
Harry shook his head, huffing out a laugh. "Since the day I met you Lou" he muttered.
Louis' laughter died and he watched Harry unzip his jeans. He licked his lips and his look was so heated Harry felt it scorch his skin. "Want you to" Louis breathed out "want you to get in my pants Haz."
Harry pulled the jeans down Louis' legs and off, throwing them on the floor, with his jaw clenched. He was determinedly ignoring Louis' words, trying to keep himself composed and in control. He ushered Louis up the bed further so he could pull the duvet down and Louis could climb under it in his briefs and t-shirt. Harry deliberately didn't look at him while he did that. His self-control only extended so far and he was nearing the limits.
When Louis was snuggled under the duvet, he crooked a finger, beckoning Harry closer. Harry knelt down beside the bed.
"What's up?" he asked.
Louis didn't answer right away, just reached out sleepily and touched his fingertips to Harry's mouth.
"S'beautiful mouth Haz" he slurred. "Made for sucking cock. Dreamt about it, you now? Dreamt about it sucking my cock. Your mouth..." he was absently rambling now, sliding his fingertips back and forth over Harry's mouth now, his eyes glazed over as if he was lost in that memory and wasn't aware he was even speaking to Harry. Harry couldn't breathe, couldn't move away, held captive by Louis' barely there touch.
Louis snapped out of his reverie then, sighing loudly, his eyes shutting and sleep claiming him as he whispered "want that with you, want it all with you. Love you so much Harry..."
A mere handful of breaths later and he was clearly already asleep, his face relaxed and almost angelic.
Harry knelt there, face slack with shock and unable to move. Louis loved him. Louis wanted everything with him. The boy he had fallen for, head over feet, loved him back.
He reached out and softly pushed Louis' fringe back from his forehead, Louis letting out a contented sigh and moving into the touch. He stared at Louis, lost in his own thoughts, for what felt like hours. He'd felt something shift inside him at Louis' words and his chest felt tight. It hurt just to breathe.
Want it all with you.
Harry felt a sudden yearning to have that – to have everything with Louis. A relationship, a future, everything. He found himself needing all of those things more than he needed air, and all the carefully thought out reasons why it was not possible suddenly seemed to make no sense at all.
He shook himself, standing and walking out of the room, hoping a good night's sleep in Liam's bed would give him some perspective.
***
After a fitful sleep, Harry woke early, giving up on the idea of sleeping any longer. He checked his phone and sighed. Six o'clock. He didn't need to be up for another hour, but there was nothing to be gained by laying there replaying the events of the night before in his crowded head.
He hopped up and went to the kitchen to put the kettle on, finding Niall sitting at the kitchen table, his head resting on his folded arms.
"Morning" Harry greeted him in a sleepy, husky voice. "How are you feeling?"
"Like I was hit by a truck, carrying a load of dog shit, which fell into my mouth before the truck backed over me several times. You?"
"Bit better than you" Harry replied smirking. "Tea?"
"God Yes!" Niall answered with feeling.
"Need me to call in sick for you?" Harry asked him.
"Nah" Niall told him. "Cuppa and a shower and I'll be grand."
Harry very much doubted that, as he still hadn't lifted his head off the table, but he had to admit he'd seen Niall recover after bigger nights than this. It was quite impressive, the way he bounced back from the kind of alcohol consumption that would kill most normal people. He deserved some sort of title or something, Harry mused.
They sat drinking their tea, Niall letting out little grunts of appreciation with every sip. Harry made them both toast and when they'd finished it, Niall slipped off to have a shower. Harry wandered down the hall to his room to grab a work uniform and leave some water and painkillers for Louis. He doubted Louis was going to make it to his session today.
He cracked open the door, peering in and seeing Louis was now sprawled across the bed sideways, covers tossed aside and mouth wide open. He had a trace of drool on the left side of his mouth and Harry shouldn't find it as adorable as he does, smiling softly down at this boy who had entered his life like a hurricane, causing so much chaos and yet making Harry happier and more frustrated than he's ever been.
Louis let out a groan then, obviously feeling the pain of his hangover as he lifted a hand to his head without opening his eyes. Harry walked over and sat on the bed, running a hand through his hair, making him whimper.
"Haz?" Louis croaked out.
"I'm here" Harry answered softly.
"Hurts" Louis mumbled as Harry continued to run his hand through his hair.
"I know babe" Harry soothed. "I've brought some water and painkillers. Here, try to take some." He slid a hand under Louis' head and tipped it up so he could take the tablets and swallow the water down.
Louis had barely opened his eyes, letting Harry feed him both the tablets and the water, before laying back on the pillow with a sigh.
"Don't bother coming in today, I'll let Megan know you're not well. Just stay here and rest OK? Zayn is asleep in Niall's room and there's food in the fridge if you get hungry."
"Thanks Haz" Louis murmured as he fell back to sleep.
Harry watched him for just a moment more, before getting dressed and heading to work with Niall. Maybe a day apart from Louis would put things back in perspective.
***
It seemed that Louis' words had changed everything, because Harry could think of nothing else all day and he was agitated and twitchy by the end of the day.
As they drove home, he was unusually quiet as Niall rattled on beside him.
"I tell you Harry, I was fading fast this afternoon with the smell in those feed rooms. Started heaving and broke out in a cold sweat. Never been so glad to see the end of a day!" He paused, looking over as he realised Harry hadn't replied, was lost in his own head. "Haz? You OK mate?"
Harry looked up. "What? Oh! Yeah I'm fine, just really tired, I guess."
Niall nodded, not looking completely convinced. He stayed quiet for the rest of the trip home.
When they arrived back at the house, they found Zayn and Louis curled up together on the couch watching DVD's, Louis laying with his head in Zayn's lap, Zayn's arm slung around him comfortably.
Harry felt possessiveness slam through him, an irrational jealousy taking over as he looked down at the physical closeness of the two boys on the couch. It didn't seem to bother Niall and Harry told himself to get it together.
"Evening children!" Niall greeted them, grinning as he leant down to kiss Zayn and ruffle Louis' hair. Louis sat up, laughing, and Harry was embarrassed by the fact that this pleased him, felt an easing in his chest at him moving away from Zayn's lap. He rolled his eyes at himself mentally. He suddenly felt raw, exposed, and stood just inside the doorway, not moving into the room, thrumming with nervous energy but no idea how to deal with it.
He excused himself for a shower, knowing he smelled like fish guts. When he came back into the room fifteen minutes later, he still felt awkward, on edge.
Zayn and Niall were chatting about their days and just generally being sickening, so Louis wandered across to where Harry was standing.
Harry watched him approach, dressed in clothes belonging to him. A pair of too big track pants and hoodie, dwarfing Louis, and he felt heat pool in his stomach at the sight of Louis in his clothes.
"Hey Haz!" Louis greeted him. "Everything alright?"
"Yeah, yeah" Harry assured him. "Just tired. How are you feeling?" he asked.
"OK now" he laughed "but I was a right mess this morning! Fuck, I haven't been that hung over in as long as I can remember!"
Harry snorted. "Yeah, you were pretty wasted alright. I think I'll put the kettle on – fancy a cuppa?"
Louis smiled "That sounds like heaven" he replied. "Lead on" he told Harry, gesturing for him to walk ahead to the kitchen. "How was your day?" he asked Harry.
They sat in the kitchen, Louis up on the bench, swinging his legs and Harry standing opposite, sharing stories about their day and Harry still couldn't shake the weird electricity buzzing in his veins. Niall and Zayn wandered in just as Louis was telling Harry how it took them ten full minutes to work out how to use the shower.
"Apparently Liam is at the gym, then staying at Sophia's place" Niall told Harry. "I thought we could go get some of that nice Thai, you know, from the place in Mermaid Beach?"
"That's like a twenty minute drive each way!" Harry whined.
"I'll go if you like" Zayn answered. "It'd be nice to see some more of the surrounding area and we've been cooped up here all day."
Niall grinned as he told Zayn "Sick – and we'll drive past Mermaid Beach and I'll show you the old surf club, it's a really pretty spot!"
They grabbed the keys and their wallets and were out the door in a matter of minutes, leaving Harry and Louis in the kitchen.
Harry collected their mugs and turned to the sink to wash them, needing to do something. Louis was chatting away behind him, but fell silent for a moment before asking if everything was alright.
Harry turned off the water, but didn't turn around to face Louis. Instead, he looked out of the window above the sink, asking quietly "did you mean it?"
"Did I mean what?" asked Louis, confused.
Harry turned slowly to face Louis, who was frowning now, concerned. He couldn't look him in the eye, so he looked down at the container of tea sitting beside him on the bench. "Last night, you said you had dreamt about me sucking you off, that you wanted everything with me" he paused before he added in almost a whisper "you said that you loved me."
He heard Louis' sharp intake of breath, waited for him to answer, but kept his eyes on the tea canister.
"Harry" Louis replied "I'm so sorry – I shouldn't have..."
"Did you mean it?!" Harry interrupted, his voice raising to a shout as he turned his eyes on Louis, pleading for an answer.
Louis looked back at Harry, clearly having some internal battle about how to answer. His eyes searched Harry's for a moment and whatever he saw there was enough to make him nod his head. "Every word" he said quietly.
Their gazes held for a minute more, neither breathing, before Harry let out a small whimper in his throat and stepped between Louis' legs, smashing their mouths together.
And that was all it took. All of a sudden, Harry couldn't remember a single reason why they shouldn't be doing this, a single reason why they should fight something that felt this right.
It was no gentle, tender kiss. It was hot, messy and already not enough. Harry tilted his head, immediately deepening it, their mouths open and tongues clashing.
Louis moaned, bringing his arms up around Harry's neck and running his fingers into the hair at the base of Harry's neck, tugging gently and eliciting a soft gasp from Harry. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' waist, yanking him forward till he was flush against Harry's front and then Harry slid his hands down and inside his track pants, cupping Louis' bum and whining as he realised he was wearing no underwear.
Louis' hips thrust forward of their own accord upon hearing Harry's whine, but found little friction at that angle. He let out a frustrated grunt, but groaned as Harry squeezed his arse cheeks hard.
Harry pulled back, panting heavily. "Fuck Lou, need to get my mouth on you."
Louis nodded. "Fuck, yes, please!" He wrapped his legs around Harry's waist and tightened the arms around Harry's neck and Harry carried him, hands under his bum for support, to the bedroom, kissing him all the way down the hallway and smacking into the wall on several occasions. He entered his room, all but tossing him onto the bed and following him down.
He wasted little time ripping the track pants off Louis, throwing them carelessly behind him and looking down, licking his lips and letting out a low noise of approval. Louis' cock was thick and full and already straining against his stomach, a tiny bead of pre-come forming under Harry's intense gaze. Harry's eyes flicked up to see Louis laying back looking at him, pupils blown and his bottom lip between his teeth. He looked wrecked already and Harry's mouth was watering as he dropped his gaze back to Louis' bulging shaft.
"So pretty Lou, such a pretty cock" he murmured, leaning down to lick a bead of pre-come off the slit.
Louis threw an arm over his eyes, groaning loudly. "Fuck Harry, no teasing! Need you so bad."
"I've got you love" Harry mumbled, before wrapping a hand around the base and swallowing Louis down. As he reached his hand, he moved it to fondle Louis' balls and kept going, taking him all the way down, his nose buried in the hair at Louis' base.
"Oh my God" Louis gasped out as he felt the tip hit the back of Harry's throat. He knew he wasn't small and Harry took it all, humming around him and making a filthy noise as he slid back up, before plunging back down slowly again. Louis's head drifted side to side on the pillow as he fought not to buck his hips up into Harry's mouth. He couldn't help the hand that slid into Harry's hair, pulling hard. He was rewarded with a moan from Harry, who pulled off and rasped "fuck yeah Lou, love that, hard like that."
Louis' mouth went slack and he panted as he pulled Harry's hair again, guiding him back down, his eyes rolling back in his head as Harry made an obscene noise and sucked harder, running his tongue along the underside of his dick.
Louis used the hand fisted in Harry's hair to push him to go faster and Harry obliged, the sensation almost causing Louis to black out as Harry bobbed up and down and moaning loudly.
"Fuck Haz, not gonna last" he gasped out. "Gonna come!" he warned, and Harry just moaned louder, pace increasing, his other hand gently squeezing his balls and Louis felt his whole body contracting, pulling inward before exploding, shards of sensation scattering through his body as he convulsed, spilling into Harry's mouth with a shout.
Harry took it all before pulling off with a pop, breathing heavily. His lips were red and swollen and his eyes were watering and Louis thought him the most beautiful sight in the world. He pushed at Harry until he was on his back, grabbing at his pants and pushing them off, along with his briefs.
There was no preamble, Louis leaning down and taking Harry into his mouth without hesitation and sinking down slowly, Harry letting out a long low keening noise as he did.
"Oh shit" Harry panted, the feeling of Louis' mouth on him almost too much after the weeks of pent up frustration. He knew he wouldn't last long. Louis hummed around him as he sucked back up, sending a vibration through him.
"Jesus, Lou" he murmured, his hips bucking up involuntarily. Louis pressed his hips back down, fingers pressing on the spot where he had gripped Harry's hips the week before, and Harry moaned loudly as he sucked harder, sinking up and down at a steady pace.
"Lou, gonna come" was all he managed before his release hit him, the force of it drawing a shattered cry from his lips and causing his body to lurch up as he poured into Louis' mouth. Louis swallowed it, moaning and licking him clean before he slumped onto his stomach.
"Oh My God" Louis panted "that was better than I dreamt it would be."
"Fuck yeah" Harry replied, not feeling very articulate now his brains had been sucked out of his dick.
After they'd lay there panting for several minutes in silence, Louis looked up at Harry. "We can't tell anyone about this Haz. It'd be such a shitstorm for us both."
Harry nodded, running his hand up and down Louis' bare arm. "I know. And I know we said we wouldn't do this Lou, but I love you and I can't keep denying what I feel for you. I'm not strong enough."
"You love me?" Louis smiled softly.
Harry chuckled. "Yeah. I love you."
"I love you too" Louis replied "now get dressed before Niall and Zayn get back and all hell breaks loose."