7 am Tuesday, December 22nd.
Matthew read through Ivan's texts thoroughly explaining their next date plans. Matthew gave Kumajirou a gentle head pat as he headed outside to walk him. Alfred was already on his doorstep, his eyes were ire.
"Mattie, you didn't answer your phone last night." Alfred snarled. "Artie and I waited outside your house, and we got to meet your boyfriend Ivan who carried you home."
"Boyfriend..." Matthew blushed. "It's not that, I was at his house-"
"Doing what, exactly?" Alfred's foot tapped impatiently.
"Just talking..." Matthew mumbled. "You can ask Katyusha..."
"That communist's sister?" Alfred pounded his fist on the doorframe, making Kumajirou growl. "Fine, I'll figure out exactly what happened, but Arthur and I are taking you to work today, understood?"
"Yes, Alfie." Matthew quickly wiped his eyes from tears.
"Why are you crying? Do you like that bastard?" Alfred snapped.
"What did he do to you?" Matthew sobbed.
"No, it's what he did to you." Alfred pointed at his head. "And you can't remember it."
"Ah, fuck..." Alfred rubbed his temples. "What was it? On the day Trần Chung Liên confessed to me... You were on the floor all bloody and shit... Ivan was standing there. I don't remember what he did exactly, but it messed up your head."
"What?" Matthew stepped back.
"Yeah he beat you up or somethin', and I'm not sure why. Probably thought you were me." Alfred rubbed his eyes gently under his glasses. "I think he hated me for calling him a commie every day."
Matthew knew something was wrong, it wasn't Ivan who hurt him, but accusing someone else without evidence would also be wrong. Was it really Ivan? All he knew is Natalya had the capacity to kill, but Ivan? That would be too much.
"Can you let me through, Alfred?" Matthew nudged his brother, making Kumajirou jump. "He wants to walk."
"Let me go with you." Alfred cleared the doorway.
"You treat me like a kid." Kumajirou led Matthew. "I'm an adult, you know?" Kumajirou barked while leaping towards a cat nearby. "Kumarumi! Don't do that!"
"Someone is lively this early." Ivan laughed. "Your brother is here too."
'Darling' Matthew mouthed. Alfred stepped in front of Ivan, intercepting their interaction. Ivan kept his smile and slipped his arm around Matthew to ward of Alfred.
"You shouldn't harass your brother so much," Ivan smirked. "Isn't there anyone else you can bother?"
"Why are you even around him?" Alfred's hand balled up into a fist.
"He's a nice boy, unlike you." Ivan laughed.
"I won't forgive you for what you did." Alfred turned towards his car.
"And that's because I didn't do it." Ivan waved to Alfred driving off. "Sometimes people are in the wrong place at the wrong time, da?"
Matthew shook his head, unable to remember what happened. Alfred seemed to have a hoggery for attention, it's a revelation that Alfred batted an eye to Matthew. Matthew rubbed Ivan's hand gently.
"What happened Ivan?" Matthew asked. "What happened to me?"
Ivan pat Matthew's head. "You'll know soon, but it wasn't me. It never could be me, even if your brother refuses to believe." Matthew reached for Ivan's other hand. "You act like a dog, you know?"
"Oui, Ivan." Matthew leaned against Ivan as Kumajirou pushed Ivan closer to his owner.
They walked silently up the road, occasionally, Matthew gently brushed his hand against Ivan's. Ivan's hands were rough, pale, and frigid, brumal like he lived deep within the snow. Matthew's hands were warm and smooth, the heat gave a homely aura.
When they returned to Matthew's home, Matthew quickly unleashed Kumajirou. He turned to Ivan, his periwinkle colored eyes staring into the deep abyss of Ivan's almost sangria eyes.
"Matvey..." Ivan was entranced.
----
It was late afternoon, senior year of high school. Natalya looked through Ivan's belongings and phone while he was oblivious to the scene. Ivan sat next to Matthew during most of their high school classes, in the same desolate corner table. Matthew never bothered to learn Ivan's name given that most people forgot his.
Ivan's eyebrows furrowed as he surveyed Matthew's face, his young complexion, and gentle expression. The words wouldn't come out of his mouth. Their class had just ended, Matthew was slowly putting his things away. Matthew was always so kind to Ivan, even knowing that Natalya could harm him. Ivan studied Matthew's light breathing and gentle hand gestures. Matthew had been the only student who didn't fear Ivan, Matthew made Ivan feel normal all throughout their high school years, even if Matthew forgot Ivan consistently.
"Matvey, can I talk to you for a minute?" Ivan watched Matthew scratch on the bandages around his head. "Don't pick at them."
"I'm sorry," Matthew responded. "Who are you again?"
"Ivan Braginski." Ivan moved his seat closer to Matthew's. "I'm your friend."
"Okay, Monsieur Ivan." Matthew's voice sounded like that of a child's.
"Matvey, I think," Ivan cleared his throat. "I think...я люблю тебя."
"Quoi?" Matthew scratched his head again. "I don't understand."
"It's okay if you don't." Ivan reached up and adjusted Matthew's bandages. "I hope one day you will when we meet again."
"Are you leaving Mr. Braginski?" Matthew cocked his head.
"Family matters, my sisters and I leave for Moscow two days after school ends." Ivan cupped his hands around Matthew's cheeks. "Even if you don't remember me, I'll come back, Matvey."
"My name is Matthew." Matthew rubbed his cheek on Ivan's hands.
"I know," Ivan smiled. "I'll always know, darling."
---- 12h
"Matthew?" Feliciano waved his hand in front of Matthew's face. "Rush hour is about to start, you've been spaced out all morning."
"Je suis désolé." Matthew rubbed his eyes. "I feel like I forgot something."
"You forgot to make the strawberry crepes earlier." Feliciano hoisted Matthew up. "We should make several before the customers start to flood in."
"Hallo." Ludwig peeked his head into the kitchen. "On break yet, Feli?"
"Break just ended." Lovino carried several plates to the counter. "Hurry, I see cars."
"Guten tag, Lovino." Ludwig waved. "And you too, Matthew. Gilbert says hello as well."
"Where is Gil?" Matthew cocked his head.
"He moved to Germany with our father." Ludwig smiled. "I'm glad you remember him from high school even if he was a year senior to us."
"I remember Gil," Matthew closed his eyes. "But I'm forgetting someone."
"Some people are meant to be forgotten." Feliciano carefully wrapped several forks in cloth napkins. "Unless pretermitting is hurting you, let the past go."
He nodded in agreement. The rest of the day faded from Matthew's memory, but his thoughts of Ivan lingered. Something was missing, and that something had to do with Ivan. No matter how hard he tried to remember, the emptiness in his heart grew.
----18h
"Kumamoto, I'm home." Matthew slipped his jacket off. "Kumata?"
Kumajiro's weak whimpers alerted Matthew. He scrambled through his house, bursting through doors. Kumajirou was lying on his bedroom floor, his vomit had already dried. Kumajirou's food bowl was spilled, a scent like a cough syrup was oozing from the dog's food.
Matthew kneeled down next to his sickly dog, the breeze flowing from the open window carried the scent of illness. He read the note tucked neatly under the husky's collar.
'He'll recover, but let this be a warning.' The handwriting was neat, written in calligraphic ink. No one he knew had the boldness to break in and poison Kumajirou. It would have to be someone harboring a deep grudge for Matthew.
Someone knocked at his door making his entire body quake. He slowly crawled out of his bedroom. It was either Ivan or a murderer. He heard his door slowly open, heavy footsteps echoed.
"Matvey?" Ivan called out.
"H-help him." Matthew managed to choke out. "S'il vous plaît."
Ivan rushed to the sound of Matthew's voice only to be met with tears and a feeble dog. Ivan carefully lifted Kumajirou's head and stroked the dog's cheek.
"He'll be fine," Ivan carried Kumajirou. "Give him some water and food."
"I don't think we can go on our date tonight," Matthew kissed Kumajirou's head. "I wouldn't want to leave him."
"I'll stay with you then." Ivan gently placed Kumajirou on Matthew's couch, carefully placing a blanket over the dog. "You shouldn't have to be alone."
"Merci, chéri." Matthew opened his cupboard and handed Ivan a glass. "I don't have any vodka."
"I think I should stay sober, da?" Ivan poured a glass of water. "You shouldn't drink either, Matvey."
Matthew reached out to Ivan. "Thank you for everything." He held Ivan in his arms. The feeling of holding another person in his arms slowly filled the nihility in his heart.
Eventually, Matthew slept next to Kumajirou. Ivan carefully covered both of them in a blanket. He settled next to Matthew, trying not to wake the young boy. Matthew's head fell onto Ivan's shoulder, Ivan smiled and slipped his phone from his deep pockets.
That was a picture he didn't want to give up.
"I love you, Darling."