Chapter 3 - Calm Before The Storm
The thought of somebody loving me. The one thing that keeps me alive, that thought, is slowly slipping from my brain. 3 years of nobody loving me, is finally getting to my brain.
My sister used to call me a little ray of sunshine, 3 years younger than her with golden eyes. I don't think I'll ever make somebody happy like my sister did though. So maybe that thought that keeps me alive should just be a dream, maybe it's my time to go.
The bathroom door shaking was what woke me up, not from the outside of my door, but from stomping downstairs. I spring up, every thing imaginable in my body aching from every step I take.
The bloody razor blade is on the ground, surrounded by my dried blood hat I don't have time to clean up. I'll just be forced to do it after school.
I put my wrist under running water quickly, dried blood turning the water red and running down the drain. A stinging sensation running through my arm, my eyebrows furrowing as I close my eyes from the pain all over my body.
I stop the water when I hear my dads yell, "WHERE IS MY BREAKFAST?!" Making me wrap a bandage around my wrist quickly and spring down the stairs.
The bandaid is tight on my swollen wrist, the pain flaring though my body but I can't help it as I get to the kitchen counter. "Summer, you disappointment you're supposed to be up by now!!!" My dad yells in my ear as I straighten my back and out my arms straight beside my body. Like is said, it's like I'm in the military.
He stands behind me, his breath fanning down the back of my neck. It sends shivers down my spine as he growls, "Make my food." He demands as he backs up and goes to a stool by the island. Watching me as I quickly make him eggs, the sizzling overwhelming my senses, drowning out any other noise around me as I focus on that.
My breathing becomes heavy and I feel quite lightheaded as I stir from the sudden feelings. The sizzling still ringing in my ears making me cover them with my hands. I slowly put the eggs on a plate—with a fork—and quickly run up to my room. Not having time to wait for my dad to beat me because I didn't put the correct amount of pepper.
My head still feeling woozy and my vision slightly blurred, nothing I'm not used to, just blood loss.
I change my clothes, black leggings feeling tight along bruises on my legs and swollen infected cuts and a black sweater, covering my bruised arms, scars, and new cuts I've caused. I smooth out the bandaid on my nose and place my bag in my hand, my brown hair falling to the sides of my face as I grab my bag and rush down the creaky steps.
I rush out the door, ignoring my fathers growls after me as I kick down my skateboard and begin riding to the school. When I left the clock had said 7:03 am, giving me ten minutes to skate to school and get to my first period first.
Being enough time for me to skate there, I relax. My kicks getting slow-paced instead of aggressively slapping the floor. The nature soothing me from the pain shooting through each and every one of my limbs.
As I near the school I'm surprised by the kids not hurdled in their groups but instead in different areas, talking to new people. I chuckle, something must have happened with the popular kids. Which surprise, surprise! I don't care about much.
I walk into the school, same as always the most breathtaking building I've seen. The beautiful flowers lining our school in our colors, pastel orange and light blue. What can I say rich schools are very specific, they almost made us wear uniforms Junior year.
I walk down the side of the hall next to the rows of lockers peppering over the hall and the school. The entire school gossiping about something happening with the popular seniors. Maybe Reid got a girlfriend or River got a new motorcycle? I chuckle at my own stupidity as I turn in to the next hall and make it to my locker.
Oh oh, I know. Kingston fucked a redhead at a party las night and now everybody wants to go red!
My swollen wrists ache as I grab my books and cradle them in my arms, I breathe in heavily as the sounds of the whispers intensify and my head pounds. The vision from my eyes blurring so I can only clearly see directly in front of me.
I blink a few times and stand up straighter than before, taking a deep breathe and closing the locker door. The need for air intensifies as I breathe in deeper and deeper, it cools my throat as it travels through me.
I start walking through the halls, wanting to get through this day as soon as possible as I make it to my first period early and sit down. I lay my head down and rest it in between my elbow. My head pounds and a ringing sounds through my ears.
Trying to distract myself I think about a girls whisper from before,
'Madeline is trying to get River to date her!'
'Yea but she's failing miserably, River doesn't date!'
'Yea but.. like.. if he did date anyone it would be Madeline.'
'That's an if Caroline, I thought you didn't like What ifs?'
'well there's also a rumor that she was doing something.... with her stepbrother'
'Seriously!?'
'Yeah they stopped though! Don't worry! He said he had business to do and couldn't deal with her drama anymore'
'Who's her stepbrother?'
'Oh it's Ki-'
I don't usually care about popular-people drama, but anything that involves pain to Madeline makes me care just a sliver more.
She used to bully the only friend I had in through fourth to eighth grade as well as me, before any of this stuff happened. Even before Kingston moved here in sixth grade.
My best friend was named Melanie, she had soft red hair and was the only person who was nice to me. She was friends with my sister too, but she moved away because of Madeline's bullying. I was fine with her bullying me, but Madeline took my only friend away from me. Then my family took my chance away of ever being good enough, pretty, happy.
It all went down hill after eight grade. With the day of the storm, the blood, the thunder, the guns. Everything was bad, maybe Madeline did save me the pain of pushing my best friend away.
I couldn't have kept it a secret from Melanie...
And I'd be dead.
The bell rings too loudly today, students screaming in the halls and rushing into the classroom all too noisily for my sensitive mind. Every time my body aches when I move, my wrists swelling against the bandages and pulsating from the pain. But the only emotions I feel are bad now, so it's kind of normal.
As soon as everybody is in the room I'm left with a random girl by my side, black hair and brown eyes. She was beautiful, making me feel bad being a nobody who only wears black garbage bags.
Mrs Carezlan walks into the room with a coffee in her hand, reading glasses perched on her nose. She clears her throat and lays her stuff down on her desk, she looks around the room and sees every chair is full. Including River making out with Madeline in the corner, I guess making him date her is going better than every one thought.
Kingston is very angry.
Maybe he's stuck up on her?
All I know is that Kingston hates Madeline, but maybe with my recent knowledge it's because he likes her still. I'm pretty sure he's her stepbrother.
She clears her throat louder, this time to alarm them that they should stop. River slowly turns his head to her, red swollen lips in a pouted form. His hands leave Madeline's face making her angry and he looks forward to Mrs Carezlan, turning his entire body to her with his arms crossed restlessly at his chest as he leans back on his chair.
Kingston's angry blue eyes meet mine, his eyes roaming over my body as I move my head to look at Mrs Carezlan again. He grins to himself from my reaction and leans over his desk.
I gulp whatever emotion I was feeling down, leaving my face resting as I listen to whatever the fake blonde Mrs Carezlan was teaching today.