SHORT CHAPTER! SORRY <3
Chapter 35
Harry was the first to see me after the boys arrived back from Germany. I hadn’t heard from the boys for the past 2 days that they were out of the country but I had heard a lot of them. Their new single was on every radio station, the film clip was on every TV channel or at least being mentioned on every TV channel, I couldn’t even escape them on the internet, the song was the background music or focus for so many YouTube videos and adds and every time I heard it, it seemed to be the same 2 lines by the same voice that had sung Draco to sleep every night about 4 months ago.
‘Yeah, we’ll be doing what we do, Just pretending that we’re cool, so ton-‘
I turned the radio off, shaking my head. I didn’t think a break up would be this hard, I know that everything reminds you of that person in one way or another but I didn’t realize how different it was when it didn’t remind you of them, it was of them. His face was plastered everywhere, smiling, laughing, blue eyes alive and kind, they looked better than they did when he stared at me on the front lawn the first morning I got out of bed, happier and they certainly looked better than they did when they were full of anger and hurt and where screaming at me from the front lawn the night I told him to get out.
I blinked, I didn’t like to remember his face that night, I tried to block it out. His face had been so angry, taunting, voice screaming and lips trembling. Everything about him that night had a double meaning, his arms were open, eyes wide and furious, lips trembling from the amount of screaming he did but I could see what the others didn’t, his arms were open for me to run into, to cling to him, to let us forget all of this if I just took a few steps forward and clung onto him, his eyes were wide because he was trying to keep tears back, the blue was washed over with hurt and sorrow and his lips were trembling because he wanted to break down and cry, like I had wanted to, like he apparently had when he was out of camera shot. He was screaming at me ‘Fine! I’ll leave you alone’ when I could see his lips form different words than what he had said, he wanted to say ‘I love you’ he wanted to say ‘Don’t leave me alone’ but he didn’t. He couldn’t.
I dreamed about that night and it scared me, sometimes the dream was Niall breaking down and the two of us crying together, other times it was him lashing out and screaming and shouting at me and then we were in the kitchen, in a different house and there were two people screaming and shouting at each other and a small Niall cowering in the corner. I know his parents had separated but I doubt they’d ever screamed at each other like we did that night, I just couldn’t help comparing us to them, the fact that they broke apart with children and now Draco wandered around the house, kicking his soccer ball on his own, refusing to wear his jersey down the park until Niall came with us.
“Mama!” screamed Draco, running through the door in his little jumper and boots that Stella had brought him for his birthday “Mama, we home”
I smiled and closed the magazine I hadn’t been reading, simply holding and curled him up on my lap as he jumped up onto me. “I can see that” I laughed “What’d you do with Nanny at the shops?”
“Nanny still there” he smiled
I frowned “Who brought you home?”
“Hazza!” he threw his arms up and I turned to look towards the door to find Harry in a sweater, collared shirt, slacks and converse, slipping his phone away with a cheeky smirk, I guessed he’d taken a photo of Draco and I but I never had the chance to ask because Draco shoved two plastic cases in my face, causing me to look back at him. “Uncle Hazza gave me CD’s” Draco smiled, looking down at the two CD’s in his lap – The first being Up All Night and the second being Take Me Home, the boys latest, that had yet to be released, both signed, both brand new.
“That’s very nice” I smiled tightly “Did you thank Uncle Hazza?”
“Thanks Uncle Hazza”
“No problem Buddy” smiled Harry
“Put them on your shelf and go play, Mama and Uncle Hazza have to talk okay?”
Draco nodded, pecked my cheek and ran out of the room, clutching the CD’s close to his chest. I looked up at Harry and the curly haired boy just smiled, moving into the room and pulling up a chair in front of me.
“I figured he could use them” he laughed, talking about the CD’s “Seeing as you don’t have them”
“I guess welcome home is the best response right now” I sighed “But I’m just going to go with the typical; what are you doing here Haz?”
Harry chuckled slightly “I can’t come here just to see my best mate and my God Son?”
“No”
Harry sighed and sat back in his chair. “Fine” he shrugged “I spoke to Niall”
“Really” I laughed “I thought you’d spend the entire two days not saying a word to each other”
Harry rolled his eyes “Do you want to hear what he said or not?”
“I think I’d rather not” I bit my lip “I’d rather hear it in person when I see him again”
“That’s very mature of you” smiled Harry “He said you’d organized to call one another sometime after we got back, so you should”
“I will” I frowned “Eventually”
“Why not now?”
“It’s not that simple Harry”
“Why not?”
I sighed and stood up from the chair. “Just give me some time Haz” I pleaded “This is harder than you think”
“How is it harder than I think, you pick up the phone and arrange to meet up”
“No you don’t” I said, wandering into the living room with Harry close behind “You’re everywhere at the moment-“I turned on the TV quickly to where Live While Were Young was playing, to prove my point and turned it back off before looking at him “-Not only would it be difficult to go anywhere with the amount of publicity your getting but I can’t just let him walk back into my life”
“You can’t?”
“No Harry I can’t” I paused “Draco lost two fathers in the space of 6 months, what do you think this looks like to him, he’s lost more people than he should have and he’s only 3, 3, do you know how sad it is to see him wait to wear his jersey and go down to the park with Niall and try to explain to him that Niall isn’t coming today, do you know how hard it was to explain that Pat wasn’t coming to pick him up, to explain to him why Niall can’t be here and why he has to watch him on the TV and why his Mum isn’t happy”
Harry frowned “I guess your right”
“I know I’m right” I said “Explaining to a 3 year old, let alone letting him get his head around the fact that his Dad keeps disappearing and reappearing, it’s difficult, I don’t know what to do, that’s why I can’t let him walk straight back into my life”
Harry shuffled his feet and looked down with a frown, not saying a word.
“To be honest, I shouldn’t have let him get so close to Draco in the first place, I’ve dated since Pat and I broke up but I’ve never let them anywhere near Draco, why Niall was different I don’t know, I shouldn’t have let it happen though”
“Niall was different because you love him and he loves you and your going to make an awesome family when you finally grow up and have kids and get married” Harry whispered “Niall’s different because he’s the one you want to marry, you look at him in a away I never even saw you look at Pat”
“Harry-“
“You love him more than I’ve ever seen you love anyone, ever” Harry kissed my head and pulled the sleeves of his jumper down around his wrists “Call him, please”
I nodded and Harry walked out, promising to call me later and I sat back down at the chair I had been sitting in before, flicking on the radio to clear my head and all I found was Niall.
‘Yeah, we’ll be doing what we do, Just pretending that we’re cool, so tonight‘
Short chapter because I wanted to give you something and I have to go to Bingo with my Nan like RIGHT NOW! -.- ENJOY, there will be another chapter in the next few days.
WARNING: I will be AWAY from the 1st till the 10th of October in LA - I promise updates will continue after then and I will be writing while I'm away. I WILL BE ON TWITTER WHILE I'M AWAY! FEEL FREE TO TWEET ME THEN AND NOW :D
Twitter: @beth_victoriax (dont forget the x at the end!)