About an hour later, Hawk started to turn back into his human form. "What was that for?!" He looked at general directions searching for Lanya in anger, "you just-" "Don't hide it Hawk SnowWhite, I know you more than you believe." Lanya said stepping out from the dark.
"L...Lanya?"
Questions were swarming his head, so much that he felt a bit dizzy. It was Lanya, no doubt about that. But... why does she remind him so much of... her?
"Hawk."
There it was again. Her voice. It wasn't Lanya's voice. Yet at the same time, it was. It's a mix of both. Was he dreaming? Has he finally gone mad? There was no way... no way Rose had used Lanya- No, that's impossible, isn't it?
"Hawk, it's me."
Instinctively, he took a step back, withdrawing the advancing figure. He didn't dare to believe it. Not after struggling from taking the first step forward from the day she left this world. This was just something he was dreaming up, it had to be.
She just raised an eyebrow at his movements, but seemed to get the hint and stopped where she was. A blanket of silent fell upon them as he continued to stare at her. She, in turn, had her gaze fixed on his. Despite the hint of a smile playing on her lips, there was a distinctive look of longing in her soft cerulean eyes. Her lips were parted, but she didn't say anything. Perhaps she was waiting for him to make the first move.
"Y-You...... I......" He stammered, unable to find the words.
"Hawk, it's only been two years. You couldn't have forgotten my name already could you?" She chided. Despite her relatively cheerful front, he could see the mix of sadness, frustration, happiness and relief clouding in her eyes.
"You...... Rose?" The name left his lips as a near-whisper
"Hmm... I guess you haven't."
He never expect to utter her name again and expect to hear a reply.
In that instant, his mouth went dry, and his mind turned blank. "I... I don't believe it." He replied with a shaky breath, taking another half step back and raising both of his hands to clutch his hair. His heart was pounding extraordinary fast, moisture gathering in his eyes. "How- Why-You're Lanya, not-"
"It's my essence. To put it simply, my ghost took over Lanya's body"
How could this be? All sorts of questions swirl in his head and was making him dizzy, he screwed his eyes shut. Maybe this was all in his head, and when he open his eyes again, she would be gone.
"Hawk, take a deep breath. I know this is a lot to take in, but-" She said, obviously nothing the state of distress he was in.
So much for it all being in his head. Which could only mean, this was real.
Rose was here. In Lanya's body, talking to him.
"Hawk? What's the matter?"
"What's the matter?" He repeated incredulous. "What do you think?" He demanded, hot tears blurring his vision of the women in front of him. "Here you are, in Lanya's body, talking to me as if there's nothing out of ordinary!"
"Hawk-"
"I watched you being shot by that beam that day, Rose. I should have taken that shot for you, or pushed you out of the way. You laid right in front of me while I hid behind a bush because I have no guts! How can you be standing here, talking to me-" The man cut himself of abruptly s he choked back a sob. He fell to his knees as he rested his forearms over his eyes, and tears began to flow down the sides of his face and drip his chin onto to rock hard ground beneath him.
"Hawk, this isn't a dream." Her voice was far clearer now, louder than his mess sobbing. She was kneeling in front of him, speaking right by his ear. "I'm here now."
"I never left," she answered simply. "My essence has always been here, right by your side."
"That's impossible" he retorted. "Spirit essence are but legends. You should have joined the great flow by now. You shouldn't be existing here."
"And yet, I'm right here, talking to you in this body." Her words were soft, kind and gentle, pulling him deeper into this absurd fantasy. He had always longed to go to a world where she still existed, where she could still be with him. Perhaps the ancients had heard his pleas, and had granted him one last chance to see her. Or maybe it's a cruel punishment for him - to see her again, only have to let go once more.
He gripped on her hem tightly. "I've missed you so much." Feeling more tears well up in his eyes, "you have no idea how much I've longed to see you again. Living without you.... I just can't imagine how long this can go. Please, say you'll come back."
"I know. I've seen you cried alone inside you room. I know it has been hard on you, Hawk. I.... I missed you too." Her voice cracked at the last bit. "But death is irreversible. You know that."
"There has to be a way," he spoke almost immediately, pulling away from her to look at her. "There must be some sort of magic, or spell... or potion out there that can bring you back to your body. And if there wasn't, I'll create it. I can't bare the thought of you leaving me again, it's too much."
She didn't speak, but the sadness in her eyes conveyed enough. Enough to make him feel a tangible pain strike in his chest and feel his heart being dragged to the pits of his stomach. "Don't underestimate me, Rose. You know perfectly well what I'm capable of. There are so many witches and fairies out there, there must be a way to get you back-"
"Hawk." She spoke then, interrupting him. Hearing that he stop rambling and turned his gaze towards her. It felt strange, speaking to Rose even though she had Lanya's physical appearance. No matter, he would be able to fix this, once he figured a way to bring her back for good.
"There is only one way."
He felt a strange surge of hope rising in him. "What is it?"
She glanced down then, pulling her hands away from around him and gesturing to her body. Correction, Lanya's body.
It didn't take long for him to catch on to what she's saying.
"You mean... Lanya..."
She nodded grimly, "She won't come back."
He let out a shaky breath of disbelief, pulling away from her and letting his hand fall on his lap. "No... it can't be."
"It is the only way," Rose continued firmly. "It's her. Or me."
"There must be another way. There has to be some sort of magic that can bring you back while keeping her-"
"I know what's out there," she cut in. "If there is, I wouldn't choose to reside in this body. It's the only way."
"It's the wrong way," he stated, staring directly at the women. The women in front of him wasn't Rose; it was Lanya.
There was no way he could do this to Lanya, the one who gave him this chance to talk to his love one. Moreover, he consider her as a friend. Without her, he probably would still be bosses around by Ambrosia.
"Like I said before, there is no other way." She repeated softly, "Hawk, you must choose."
"I want both."
"That's not how it works."
"Then I will make it work."
"Hawk, listen to me. I can't stay in this body for long unless I fully merge with it." She insisted, "you must choose."
"I don't know anymore. Nothing made sense ever since you left, Rose. I can't do this."
"Yes you can. You already have the answer. You just need to say it."
Indeed, in his heart he supposed he did know what the right choice to make was. But, he dared not voice it. He just want this time to last longer. He wasn't asking for much, just a little more time.
"I promised..." he muttered, feeling a lump form in is throat hat made it difficult to speak and breathe. "I promised I wouldn't let you go again if I had the second chance..."
"I know. I know you had been blaming your self all this time."
"It matters nothing if you weren't there with me."
It seems that his words were finally taking some sort of toll on her emotions as well. He noted the moisture welling up on her eyes, and the way she was biting her lips to keep them from falling. She didn't want to cry in front of him, he knew. She probably thought it would make things harder for them both.
"The reason I came back was because I couldn't bear leaving without knowing what you would be fine without me."
"I could never be fine without you Rose." He murmured. Pain was all that filled his chest. "A part of me died when you did..."
"No, it didn't." She replied firmly, "the fact that you've chosen to stay true to Lanya is all the proof you and I need to know that you have the strength to take a step forward. Now all you need to do is let me go. And since I've broken my part of the promise, you can break it too. You'll be fine now. I know it."
He didn't quiet agree, but Rose had always possessed a sort of persuasive power in her words. It was something he loved about her in times like these, but also something he hated whenever they got into a tiff.
"Come on, when have I been wrong?" She asked teasingly
"I don't think you want me to answer that." It gave him a small chuckle.
"And what was that supposed to mean huh?" Rose punched him playfully, "I think it's time for me to leave."
"No it's not..." he rambled. "I have so many things to tell you, so many things I didn't get to do with you. Give me a bit more time with you, there won't be another chance, will there?"
"Sorry Hawk, now that I know you'll be fine. I need to go."
"But I.... there's still so much left..." The words died on his tongue, seeing her steely gaze. There was no arguing with her. It was time, and she had to go.
She had to leave him again.
Or rather, he had to let her go now.
"I love you with all my heart, Rose, I always will."
"I will always love you too Hawk, that will never change, no matter how many seasons and centuries past.
Their moist eyes met, both filled with sorrowful love. Her eyes darted down towards his lips.
"I... hope Lanya wouldn't mind..." There was no hesitation when they leaned in and sealed the distance between their lips, their kiss conveying the grief pain that both of them felt n that moment. The way she melted into his kiss and moved against him sparked off memories that had nearly been forgotten for good. Except that this was the most bittersweet f kisses he had shared with her.
At least he got to do this one last time.
"Goodbye, Hawk." She whispered, before the blue light gathered around her body and then it left Lanya's body altogether. In that instant, the women fell limp in his arms, unconscious. Hawk with his face towards he pale sky, mourned for the loss of his beloved for the last time, just as he promised. To let go.
()()()()()()()()
Credit to the writer of the book 'Spirited Away: The Wait' for this chapter lmao. (I forgot her username and not bothered to check, please forgive me)
Btw, term break has started yesterday! I've been spending my spare times yesterday writing this chapter and it was exhausting. Just wanted to tell you guys that even though term break has started doesn't mean I'm posting more. I'm sorry... my mother has high expectations of me so I better off studying. Please understand and thank you.
Remember! Live that fairytale in you!