*Flashback*
Harry's pov.
''Get the hell out of this fucking bed before I'm going to fucking slap you out myself, damn of a little brother who never does what people ask'' a ray of sun hits my face and I growl. I just got here like twenty minutes ago after a hell of a night and I have another one tonight. Please, pity me.
''You should breathe sometimes, sister'' I mock her and press my head under the pillow so that the light will not get me.
''Bullshit, we have no time.'' Kira huffs and the covers are pulled away from my body.
''Kira! Out of my room, you pussy girl'' Kira is the kind of girl who never gives up on the things she wants. Like if she wants me out of this bed, she's going to have me on my feet, no matter how much effort I'll put into ignoring her. she's just a stubborn ass.
''It's your birthday, you have other 364 days to sleep. C'mon, move your drug addicted body from the mattress and descend to have breakfast with me, I made waffles'' my head snaps up and I glare at Kira who's smirking at me. Kira doesn't know how to cook, like at all, she's a complete disaster, plus she detests to be covered in dirty or have something attached to her manicured hands.
She has her hair up in a messy ponytail, a bandana that makes her look more like Rambo than a simple cooker and all her expensive outfit, is covered in flour. Like from head to feet.
''You didn't'' I say a smile cracks on my face. My head aches like hell and I feel like I will need pot really soon.
''If you don't hurry up, they're going to be cold and I'm going to use you as a target instead of the rubbish throwing them at your face.'' I puff and throw the cover away.
''You're so annoying'' Kira normally is not that gently but every birthday of mine, she tries and act as nice as she can. which is a personal record for her, since she's a bitch.
'' I'm fucking sleepy'' I growl as I force my legs out of the mattress. Kira presses a pile of clean clothes on my chest and points to the bathroom.
''You're not touching my food with those hands, god knows what you have done with them yesterday. If we're lucky enough, you only use it on yourself but considering the red lipstick on your cheek, I guess it's not really plausible'' I rush to the mirror and use my hand to rub the huge lipstick stamp on my right cheek. I hate it when girls leave those kind of marks, it's disgusting. I should be the only one leaving things on them.
''You're just jealous little slut, because you know I get laid more than you'' my tongue sticks out and Kira raises an eyebrow to me, with a sceptical face on.
''First, you just need to thank mom for your pretty face otherwise, you would not even catch a fly. But I guess girls run away when they discover how ugly you're on the inside, right little brother?'' I snort and disappear in the bathroom. Kira bangs on the door.
''Do you pay them when they see how miserable your little friend is? Maybe they feel pity for you and decide to let you have a bit of fun. Girls are really selfless sometimes, we tent to pity boys a lot'' she's just playing around with me but, Jesus she's so fucking annoying.
"You're talking about girls, like you know how does it feel being one of them. you're a boy, I know that, mom knows that, the whole world knows that besides you. So please open your eyes nosy sister and see that you're not a girl, like at all. Because if you're one, then it means I've been hooking up with men my whole life'' Kira giggles, she adores fight this way, because she knows how to piss me off so easily while she only takes everything I say and use it against me.
''Well Harry, I'm sure you don't even know the difference anymore. You just need a hole where you can put your little friend, which is the owner of that space, it doesn't matter. Be careful, you could find surprises under skirts'' she laughs hard as she walks away not giving me the chance to answer back. damn slutty sister.
I get a quick shower and wash everything away, feeling much better. I pull on a jumper and sweatpants before exiting my room.
When I descend, Kira is sited on her usual seat, eating in silence, her eyes flashing mocking looks at me. I wonder why, what does she has in mind? I sit on the spot in front of her but when my ass hits the chair, I hear a strange noise and a voice starts to sing.
''Happy Fucking birthday dick. You're old now'' again and again with the scariest voice I've ever heard. It's like Chucky's voice or something, she knows I hate that movie, bitch. I grab the little panda animal and throw it to Kira.
''You, dumb ass. This thing scared me'' Kira leans down, pressing her forehead on the counter as she tries not to laugh then raises her thumb at me.
'You should have seen your face'' she states and I face palm myself.
''You do this all the times, don't you get tired?'' I say and Kira shakes her head, her eyes shining so bright with amusement.
''I'll get tired, when you will learn, but since you never do, I'll never too.'' I puff and take a waffle in my plate, they're really ugly, like all burned and things, with maybe too much Nutella on but since I'm starving, I'm going to eat them.
''What time did you get up to made them?'' Kira looks slightly surprises and drinks from her cup of Lemon tea.
''You saw me when you got back home, don't you remember? I was trying to have a decent form with that devil of a machine'' I shake my head. I absolutely don't remember a crap from yesterday. ''well anyway, not too much'' I cross my arms, she doesn't lie, but I can tell when she tells me half of the true, like hiding a piece of the story that will get her embarrassed. She starts to nervously play with her hair. and now she's fucking tugging a strand of her blue hair up and down.
''How early?'' Kira puffs and throws her hands in the hair in frustration.
''Okay, I'm up since three in the morning, happy? I couldn't sleep anyway'' with that I start to eat one, two, three waffles, I'm planning on finishing them all. They're not like really good or something but it's her little gesture that counts. No one does things for me nowadays and it happen that I'm slightly happy today.
Kira stands up and opens the cabinet where there are all the medicines. She takes a painkiller and a glass of water.
''C'mon. gulp it down before your brain explodes. I don't want to clean this mess and take care of your piece of flesh too.'' I do as told and help her cleaning the table.
When we're done, she walks me into her play room full of dresses and other girlish stuff. She starts to measure my arms, my legs and write something down on her notepad.
''What are you doing?'' I ask, wanting to have a seat and maybe even sleep. I'm so fucking tired and this night there is a party for my birthday at Chris'.
''What do you think? I'm going to make you a wonderful suit, you will see.'' And why in hell will I need a suit if I have my closet full of them?
I don't get my sister sometimes.
''And what for? It's not that I need one anyway'' she pokes me to the head and I growl in disappointment as she circles me. she makes me open my arms and uses a long stick to measure my side.
''Mom will come home and I want her to find you in a good condition. I'm not going to listen to her complaining about how bad I take care of you'' she goes into a big closet and takes out a black fabric.
''Mom will not come home Kira. If it's for her that you're doing it, then you can stop. She will not even remember that today is my birthday'' Kira places her hands on her hips and stares at me with deep angry eyes.
''First, don't talk about mom like you know everything about her life and her way of being, you're an asshole and assholes tents to judge people wrong, especially if pot helps them. Second, she will. She's our mother Harry, of course she will come home for your birthday and bring a wonderful present too. I'm sure she will make it up for your past birthday. C'mon now, turn around.'' I find myself slightly believing to her words, because I know Kira will never lie to me. or to anyone if this is what matters.
We spend the whole morning, making this dumb suit that ends up being a bit too thigh but I guess that was the idea. Kira picks up a dark shirt and force me to wear it under it, letting open most of the buttons. She styles my hair and play with my dress till she likes what she sees. And we talk about a lot of things, things we didn't do in years. like talking about our memories, our holiday house.
''What a wonderful man we have?'' she grabs a scarf also black and use it around my neck.
''Stop dressing me like a fucking doll,'' I complain and Kira only smirks evilly.
''I'm not. But if you don't like this masculine outfit, I can always make you a new wonderful pink dress. It doesn't cost me much. And you will be hot with a dress on'' I raise my hands up and try to take this strange thought out of her mind.
''No. This is too much even for me. But if you give me something strong, I may do it'' I wink and Kira hits me hard on the head again. She does it when I say something she doesn't like and it fucking hurts.
''You don't sell yourself for drugs or for anything else, you heard me Harry? Pride is something you can't have back once it's ruined''
Like I care about my pride. I doubt on its existence anyway since I basically look like a homeless most of the times.
''You're too much feisty and today it's my birthday. Clam down little bird, would you?'' I see the smart joke crosses her face and gets out from her lips. Damn me for being so dumb.
''The only little bird here, is yours. Don't forget that Harry or you will end up calling people names only to distract the attention from your lack of manhood.'' Kira talks so much about my family jewellery but she knows I'm not that powerless in that topic. She does it because she knows I get off every time she touches this spot. It's like a soft spot that makes me angry all the time. man pride is something no one can control.
''Do you want to play Just Dance?'' she says and claps her hands to me but I walk past her and disappear in my Music room. Kira slides in without even ask for permission, not that she does it anyway, and grabs my guitar, the one she gave me for my birthday.
''C'mon, sing for me'' she knows I will never say not to this request, she knows how much I love singing for people. I almost look like a desperate when someone asks me to, it's like as the sky opens and angels starts to get down, flying all around me.
I sit on the ground as Kira takes a place on the couch. I wear the strap of the guitar around my neck and play with the strings for a bit.
''What do you want me to sing?'' I huff and Kira taps at her chin deep in thought. ''before the sun sets, please'' I hurry her and she sighs in desperation.
''I wonder how girls can stand a so impatience person as you are. I mean...I bet you come so fast that don't even get them half way done with their pleasure'' I bite my lower lip and try not to laugh because she's right.
'' I'd like for the first time, by the Script'' I find it kind of funny because it describes out situation every time Kira tries to be gentle, it's like getting to know her for the first time. this song is kind of special too, because you know, it happens to be the reason why I started to think about becoming a singer. I didn't know Kira even remember it. I remember being in front of the screen, eight years old and tell her look, I want to write songs as beautiful as those and sing as he does. Because that man is so fucking awesome when he has a mic in his hand. Anyway, I struggle with the chords for a bit before remembering the sound and start to sing.
Kira listens like she can hear anything else, her eyes are so dark as she takes into my words.
I place the guitar down and stand up.
''Well, I guess I need to get ready for that party'' I inform her and walking out from the room, trying hard not to let rage taking control over me. my parents, they will never learn how to put children before their own happiness. I guess they're fucking hooking up somewhere instead of even picking up the phone and call their boy the day of his seventeen birthday. I get in my room and smash the door close but Kira catches it in time.
''Harry...'' she tries to calm me but I only get upset more. People that tries to control me are so fucking annoying and it's even worse when I'm so pissed and I want to be alone.
''Shut the fuck up. I don't need you telling me excuses. I can think them myself. I'm sure dad is doing a great job since they're forgetting my birthday. Again'' I stress the last part and Kira starts, as my voice reaches the edge and my throat dries.
'' I'm sure they didn't mean too. I'm sure they're working hard Harry. you know...'' I throw the nightstand against the wall and it does not break, but I want it too. I mean, why is my heart the only thing that has to shatters into million pieces? Fuck it's better if she gets out. Kira doesn't even blink, she's used to this. the problem is that she shouldn't, my parents should, I should take my anger out on them, and I would, if they were here.
''Stop, last year you said the same remember? Remember Kira?''I harshly say and Kira lower her head.
What may be more important than the birthday of their own son? I mean, I get it that they're busy, I wasn't fucking asking them to come here, flying all the way from America to be with me, I just wanted a phone call, a fucking birthday card, a postcard anything that would have made me feel less miserable. Why people should care about me if not even my parents do? Why should I?
I take off Kira smoking and she leaves the room without saying anything. When I'm only wearing my boxer, I slide out of my pants and almost fall to the ground because my foot gets trapped.
''Shit, fucking birthdays. I hate them so much'' without birthdays there would not be anything to remember and why should people have special consideration of them anyway? once you're born there is no need to party a birthday. You're already here anyway.
Kira eventually pops in again, holding a brown book hold together with a rope and a small cupcake in her hand, with a little candle on.
''I know it's not what you wanted, because you don't care about all of this. I know that, I don't too. but I guess everyone needs to have a cake the day of their birthday and a present.'' She hands me the two things and I sit down on my bed not knowing how to feel about it.
''C'mon, blow it and think of a wish'' I reluctantly place the book down on the bed and look as she sets next to me, waiting eyes. I don't want to disappoint her but I don't believe in this shit.
''C'mon Harry. blow it for me. my birthday is far away from now so express a wish'' she presses and I snort, letting a bit of anger going away.
I close my eyes and think about something. A wish? You want a wish, fine.
may I have a person in my life that really cares about me and never leaves? I don't care if this person is fucked up or broken or an ass, I want this person to see things I don't let anyone see. I want this person to save me, save me from myself and from my darkness. I'm afraid it's taking over little by little, everyday even more. Please make this person be an angel. Make this person be there for me no matter what. Make me its happiness, I think and blow the candle.
If I can ask for one more desire. Make Kira be happy too. she deserves it so bad.
I open my eyes and she gives it to me the book back. when she opens it, I discover it's not a book, but a diary, old style one with the blank pages that smell like history.
''Our grandmother gave it to me when she was still alive. She told me I had to give it to you the day you would have need it. I'm not sure today it's the moment, but maybe you can smile thinking our Granny cared about you so much to give you the diary an old military gave her when she was young. it's blank and no one has ever written anything in here, but I guess it's your job now. I don't know what you should write, maybe songs, maybe letters to people you can't or do not want to face. Write down anything you want and maybe it will turn into reality. Diary are powerful objects they can hold secrets better than humans and do magic. Or at least this is what our crazy Granny said to me.''
I smile forcefully and she puts an arm around my neck.
''Write down when you're angry. Don't hit or hurt yourself. It's no use. Write down and re read it the day after, you may find a solution to your problem.'' She squeezes my shoulder and I surprise myself embracing her body with my arms, taking her by surprise.
''Whoa, too much love. Too much love. I don't want an overdose'' she jocks but hugs me back, playing with my curls. '' you know I need to double my hate for you tomorrow right?'' I giggle and breath into her wonderful milky smell. she smells like milk and nuts. Something really sweet and nice.
''Don't care. I'm Kira's hate proof.'' I mock her and she kisses my temple.
''Asshole'' she whispers and I play with her sides, pinching to her flash.
''You're so soft sister. Ever thought about diet? Maybe you could use one'' she widens her eyes and her jaw drops. I hurry to get up and stick my tongue out.
''No more hugs for you. You're too brave when you have too much sugar'' she comes after me and I run down.
''You can try but I'm faster little bird. I'm sorry. Volleyball is a great exercise for mussels'' I scream as I pull into the kitchen.
''You're faster because I have more flesh in my boobs then you in your dick'' I giggle and use the table to protect myself from her fury.
''Shut up. you're as smooth as your hair'' she touches her now half pink half light blue hair and mocks me with a strange face.
''My hair is cool, not as yours. Little nerdy book sucker'' we play for the rest of the night till we fall exhausted on the couch and fall asleep. The next day my parents didn't call but I didn't mind, I had Kira taking care of me. they could burn into hell.
*EndFlashback*
I'm sitting here on this hard ground, in the middle of the night doing god knows what. I'm just staring to this huge piece of stone, rereading the words over again when I sense a hand on my shoulder. It's rough and gentle at the same time but I don't care. people could kill me now and I would not even notice.
'' I knew you were here'' someone says and I don't dart my attention away.
<<Here lays Kira Thatcher, the stylist of the Thatcher's. The most amazing genius, that the world of Mode will ever get the chance to see, sleeps among common boring people, playing tricks and mocking them. because she knows she will become famous while they will still be stuck here with no dreams and no future>> I remember when she told me that. It was when we got to the beach for the first time. she was so tired and fell to the ground pretending to be dead. That's when those words rolled down her lips. We were so exhausted. She was going to tell me about her gay boyfriend back then. how hard we laughed that night. My little bird. I wonder if at least a part of that wish came to reality in the end, because Grace left and didn't stay, so I hope you're happy at least.
The hold on my shoulder tights and I turn to face my new guests. I just want to be alone so I'll be quick and kick this person away.
He shouldn't be here, not after what I've done.