T/W: major character death.
~Robs pov~
I kept glancing at Matt the whole set, he hadn't felt good the past week. Today he felt worse but insisted on playing. Once we played our last song I quickly did our goodbyes. Matt was the first to full on run off stage.
The fans called for an encore and trust me we would've in a heartbeat but Matt couldn't handle it.
I followed far behind Matt as he was running. He turned into the bathroom and I went in after him. He was throwing up pretty much everything. I grabbed his long brown hair out of his face.
"Do you have a hair tie love?" I asked he moved his one hand away from where he was gripping his stomach. I took the hair tie off his wrist and tied his hair back. I rubbed his back "let it all out."
Tom and Si ran in there and we all crowded in the one stall.
"Should I go get water?" Si asked glancing down at Matt as he threw up and started heaving.
"Yes," I sighed and went back to comforting Matt.
"This sucks a lot Matt, I wish we could just do the same thing for you that Si and I do when we're sick." Tom sighed, if either of them were sick or didn't feel good they would just lay behind the curtain and play the show.
Matt had stopped throwing up, now he was just trying to catch his breath.
"Breath in and out babes," I whispered in his ear, Matt nodded and slowly sat up.
"Let's get you off the gross bathroom floor," I put one of my arms under Matt's legs and the other around his back and picked him up. He clung to me as I carried him back to the green room. I laid him on the couch in there, Matt groaned. "Did I hurt you?"
"No, just my lungs hurt a lot," Matt sighed, he clenched his eyes shut.
I kneeled down by him on the couch, "I'm so worried about you." I sighed, I laid the back of my hand on his forehead, he was burning up.
"Matt I think we should cancel a few dates so you can rest up and get rid of whatever you have." I sighed and started to pull Matt's puked covered shirt off of him. I threw it aside and grabbed a new one.
"But I don't wanna disappoint the fans," Matt sighed.
"Trust me they care more about your health," I kissed his forehead.
"I got the water," Si walked in and handed the bottle to Matt. He sat up and slowly drank it, then slid the clean shirt on.
"We should get him to the bus," Tom said walking in as well.
"I've got him, just take care of yourselves." I sighed and grabbed Matt's bag. I picked up Matt and we headed out to the bus.
"Mhhhh," Matt whined.
"What?"
"My lungs burn," he mumbled.
"It's probably just from the cough," I walked on the bus and laid him on his bunk and kissed his forehead. "Please go to sleep, I love you."
"I love you too," I kissed Matt's cheek again.
-two weeks later-
I quietly came back into Matt and I's room. I tiptoed over to the closet and opened it the door squeaked and Matt made a whining sound mad rolled over.
"Rob?" Matt said in a hoarse voice.
"Yeah, babe?" I sat next to Matt.
"Mh' chest hurts," he whispered.
"Are you wanting to go to the ER?" I asked pressing my hand to his forehead.
"Maybe," he mumbled and rolled over again.
"Okay, do you wanna shower first?" I asked rubbing his back.
"But I don't wanna get up," he whined in pain.
"Matt," I sighed.
"I know..." he threw the blankets off of him and sat up. He doubled over and started coughing, I rushed over to his side and grabbed the tissue box. He grabbed a handful of the tissues as he coughed into them.
"Are you okay?" I asked as I rubbed his back. He took a second to stop coughing and catch his breath.
"I think so?" He sighed and got up.
"Okay," I helped him to the bathroom where I then just left him to have some time to himself.
-Matt's Pov-
I leaned against the wall in the shower hacking my lungs out of my chest. I really felt a lot terrible than I was telling Rob, I just didn't want him to worry about me.
I grasped my chest and tried to catch my breath. I finished showering and carefully got out of the shower and went back to our room.
I dried off and slid on a shirt and some skinny jeans. I went downstairs and Rob was sitting at our table his head in his hands. I held back a cough and went over to him.
"What's wrong sweety?" I asked.
"N-Nothing," he mumbled. I could tell he had been crying.
"I'm fine Rob I'm sure it's just a cold that'll pass." I sighed.
"Okay, are you ready?"
"Yeah," I smiled at him. He got up from the table and smiled back before leaning down and quickly pecking my lips. He took my hand and we walked over to the door. I started coughing and Rob turned around quickly. "I'm fine."
"Okay," he leads me to the car.
We sat in silence the whole way there the only noises filling the air are the light raindrops on the window shield.
We got out and Rob put his leather jacket around me and rushed us in.
I walked up to the counter and signed myself in. We sat down and the first thing I did was start coughing. Some heads turned and I felt Robs touch loosen against me.
I stopped and assured Rob I was okay, I interlocked our hands and leaned my head against his shoulder.
"Matt Donnelly?" I heard my name and the both of us stood up heading towards the lady.
She took my blood pressure and asked questions then sent a doctor in.
Rob squeezed my hand as the nurse left, "I told you I'm going to be fine."
"Okay Matt," Rob smiled and kissed my hand. I blushed and stared into his blue eyes. Our moment was killed as a doctor walked In.
"Hello Mr. Donnelly," the doctor smiled and shook my hand.
"Hello," I smiled back at him.
"So you have some throat and lung pain along with a lot of coughing?" The doctor asked.
"Yeah," I sighed glancing at the doctor.
"Anything more?"
"I've been coughing up red phlegm like stuff," I added looking down at Rob and I's interlocked hands.
"Okay," I heard him type some stuff into the computer. Then like on cue my lungs decided it was time to have a coughing fit. I started coughing and pretty much heaved everything out my chest. Rob gave me tissues as I started coughing up blood and phlegm.
I slowly started taking deep breathes and stopping myself. I sat back up and the doctor and Rob just both stared at me.
"I think we'll get you a blood test," the doctor frowned and got up, "Can I get you some water."
"Yes," I sighed. He left the room and Rob looked at me I could see the tears prickling his eyes, "No Rob."
"Matt," he sighed his voice breaking and throwing his arms around me.
"I'm fine," I protested pulling him off of me and looking him in the eyes, "They haven't even diagnosed me with anything. It's just a cough maybe like what Tom had? A chronic cough or something?"
"Okay, you promise you'll be okay?" Rob sighed grabbing my hand.
"Promise," I smiled back at him.
~Rob's pov~
I sat back in the room waiting for Matt's blood test to be done. God, I was so worried about him. The door creaked open and Matt walked back in.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"A little tired but I did just have a lot of blood taken," he smiled. His faded bleach blonde hair hanging in his face. He sat down and took some deep breathes.
"Are you sure?"
"Rob I'm fine just walking a lot on my lungs right now," Matt explained and pushed the hair out of his face.
We waited another half an hour before the doctor came in, "Can you guys follow me to my office?" He asked.
"Yeah," I smiled politely getting up and taking Matt's hand as we followed him to his office. Matt glanced at me with a worried expression I shrugged back returning the look. We went into the office, the doctor bent over and grabbed a file.
The doctor sighed and looked at us, "so here's the good news and bad news..." he stopped and paused, "Matt has lung cancer buts it's at an early stage."
My heart shattered I looked over at Matt and he was staring at the Doctor tears threatening to fall from his big brown eyes. I bit my lip and let out a choked sob, Matt squeezed my hand.
"Rob it's okay..." Matt said through the lump in his throat.
"Matt it's not," I protested.
"So here's his treatments will line up," he opened up the file and showed us, "We'll start you on some medications right away."
I woke up later that night and Matt wasn't there, I heard sobbing from the bathroom. I got up and walked over there pushing the door open, "Matt?"
"Wh-What I'm fi-Fine," he choked out through tears and coughs. I bent down and rubbed his back.
"Matt I'm worried, this is kind of crazy." I sighed.
"Can you get me some water?" He whispered.
"Yeah," I stood up and filled a glass from the tap in the bathroom. I handed it to him and he slowly drank it. He set it beside him and laid his head in my lap.
"Rob I'm scared," Matt mumbled.
"I-I know," I sighed and I think my heart broke even more. He started crying and held my hand tight. I bit my lip and ran my fingers through his hair trying to keep myself from breaking down. I needed to be strong for Matt especially where life was about to take him.
~One Month Later~
It was Matt's second wave of treatment, it usually worked as in the first three days after treatment were miserable for him and the fourth he was fine. I held Matt's hand and looked at him, "Are you doing okay?"
"Yeah," he weakly smiled back. Matt was a softy when it came to needles so the treatments and constant appointments were really hard for him. "Can you read some fan comments to me?"
"Yeah," I slid my phone from my pocket and pulled up Instagram. A week after Matt was diagnosed we decided to tell the world so they knew what was going on. We tried to post with updates on him once a week. Matt liked hearing what the fans were thinking. I started reading the comments on the latest skipping over the rude ones. Matt smiled as I read the get well wishes.
About half an hour later his doctor came in, "hello how're you today?" He asked Matt. I watched Matt as they took the IV's from his arm.
On our way home I could tell Matt was getting tired. I softly rubbed circles with my thumb on his hand. "Do you want to go to bed when we get home?"
"Mhm," he sighed as he leaned his head back. It was good for him to sleep because he'd probably wake up in the middle of the night and get sick.
I smiled as Territory by Waterparks came on, this was always our song. Matt glanced at me and smiled. I started singing to him as we drove home.
I pulled in the driveway and got out taking Matt's hand as we walked in. "I'll get you some water babes," I smiled at him as he went upstairs. I got his water and went upstairs.
"I'm coming in love," I said as I opened the door. Matt turned and covered his chest quickly.
"Oh, sorry babes..." I turned around, he had been feeling self-conscious about himself and I could respect that.
"Ok-Okay you can come in now," Matt stuttered. I came in and Matt was in shorts and a loose blue shirt.
"Want me to lay down with you?" I sat on my side of the bed, Matt nodded. Matt started coughing and let the mucus come out. I rubbed his back, "take your time."
"M' fine," he mumbled before carefully laying down.
"Do you wanna watch Master Chef?" I asked knowing that was Matt's guilty pleasure show.
"Yes," he smiled and snuggled into me. I turned on the show and watched Matt fall asleep. But not falling asleep soon after he did.
~Matt's pov~
I woke up gasping for breaths and coughing. I got up and stumbled to the bathroom, I was scared. I grabbed at my chest as I bent over and let out the watery vomit. I let myself collapse on the floor. This really wasn't ever a glamours thing I wiped the tears from my eyes and the mucus off my face onto a towel. I heard the door open.
"Matt," Rob sighed as he rushed in.
"No, stop go back to bed," I argued not turning to look at him.
"Let me help you," he sighed as he rested his hand on mine.
"No! I'm not going to make yo-" I stopped and threw up more. I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. He bit his lip and sat down next to me, I let myself lay across his lap.
"I'm overheating."
"Here," he reached up and ran cold water on a towel. He placed it on my forehead and I sighed in satisfaction.
"M' so tired," I said feebly.
"Should we get you back to bed?" Rob sighed.
"No, it's too hot." I sighed.
"Let me go get your pillow," Rob gently moved my head off his lap and got up. He came back with the pillow and a clean shirt. I sat up and let him pull the dirty shirt off of me exposing my boney body and my chest port. Rob quickly put the clean shirt on knowing I didn't want him looking at me like this. He handed me my pillow and helped me settle in. The bathroom floor was nice when my body was overheating. Rob started towards the door.
"Please don't leave me," I mumbled. Rob smiled and sat down next to me leaning against the tub and held my hand. I let myself slip into sleep.
~Six Months Later~
-Rob's Pov-
I glanced at Matt as he finished his phone call with the doctor. He had tears streaming down his face.
"Okay thank you," Matt sighed and wiped his eyes and set his phone on the island table.
"What's going on?" I asked him holding his hand with both of mine.
"They told me the treatment isn't working," he sighed and let out a choked sob.
"Does that mean you're going to-" he nodded and threw himself around me as he sobbed into my shoulder. I blinked and tears started falling, Matt has barely lived a life yet.
"Please don't cry Rob," he sighed pushing the tears from his eyes.
"O-okay," I took a deep breath in and opened up the cabinets I grabbed a rubber band and got on one knee.
"Rob..." Matt said shifting his weight.
"Since I'm not going to have a lot of time left with you I think we should do what we've always wanted to do. Matt Donnelly, will you marry me?" I smiled up at him.
"Yes, I'll marry you," Matt giggled. I grabbed his hand and wrapped the blue rubber band around his finger. He pulled me in close and smashed his lips into mine. Our lips moved in sync as I felt closer to him than ever. I picked him up and we moved to the couch, I laid him down. I sat down and he straddled me our lips meeting again. He pulled away to catch his breath and smiled at me. "God I'm so happy."
"Me too," I smiled at him. I mean I was happy but he was going to die... but whatever made Matt happy was what we would do.
Today was our wedding day, I stood at the end of the aisle. Lucky people started playing and I saw Matt being walked down the aisle by his dad. People stood up as Matt walked.
He got to the end of the aisle and his dad handed him off to me. I took Matts hands in mine.
"You look really good," he whispered.
"You do too," I whispered back.
We spoke our vows and said our yes's and the pastor said "I now pronounce for the first time Mr. and Mr. Damiani. You may kiss the groom."
Matt and I pressed our lips together for a quick kiss.
The night was one of the best nights of our lives. We danced and had a great time, we ate a really good cake. Tom got really drunk and tried to strip at our party.
Anyways all good things come to an end.
-Matt's Pov-
I woke up and ran to our bathroom I threw up and was heaving trying to breathe. I tried crying out for Rob. I grabbed at my chest as I couldn't breathe. Rob ran in and tried calming me down but slowly realized what was going on. He dialed 911 then I passed out.
I woke up in a fluorescent white room, Robs hand clutching mine for dear life.
"Oh my god Matt," Rob said through tears and carefully hugged me.
He kissed my knuckles and sent Tom and Si to get a doctor.
"Why am I Here?" I asked in pain, I tried moving my arm and clenched Rob's hand in pain. I had an IV in my arm, I glanced at Rob.
"Shh, it's okay," he said trying to soothe me from the needles.
"Can I have my beanie?" I asked feeling exposed without it.
"I didn't grab it when I left, I'm sorry."
"It's okay," I sighed and yawned. I looked up as Si and Tom came back with my doctor.
"Hello Matt," he smiled and pulled a stool up to my bed. He asked me questions and explained things to me than really dropped it on me I had a month left to live.
Everyone in the room stopped and stared at me, Rob was going to start crying again and I didn't want him to.
"Rob no," I sighed letting him cry into my side.
The car ride was quiet except for Toms occasional sniffles. Rob kept his hand tight around mine.
"So, Matt what's on your bucket list?" Si asked.
"Well, almost all of the Do-able things I've already done. I own a house with Rob, I married Rob." I sighed.
"Okay well think about it okay? We love you, buddy." Tom and Si got out and went into Toms house.
"Do you wanna go home?" Rob asked squeezing my hand.
"Yeah," I leaned against the window.
Rob sat down next to me on the couch and cuddled me into his chest.
"I was just thinking about the first time we met." I chuckled holding Rob's hand.
"Yeah, you should tell me the story." Rob chuckled.
"Well, I was in the band room playing the drums after school one day. You walked in and told me I plaid the drums really well for a freshman." I chuckled.
"I really called you out for being an underclassman."
"You really did, then I told you, you had nice eyes for a sophomore. Then you were like too-shay and then you were like I'm Rob, Rob Damiani."
"And you said I'm Matt Donnelly, just Matt." Rob laughed.
"Hey I was scared of you," I defended myself.
"Oh my god Mathew," he chuckled.
"Oh my god Bobby," I mocked.
"Don't call me that," he playfully argued.
"Fine," I kissed him quickly to shut him up.
He stopped and stared into my eyes, I stared back at him. Looking into his blue eyes made me really think about what I would miss out on. Us adopting a child or an animal, Don Brocos next album. God Don Broco hadn't even phased me. What were they gonna do with the band?
"Rob I'm scared to die, I don't wanna die. I don't wanna miss out on us raising a child or adopting an animal or the next album or touring." I cried and snuggled further into Rob.
"I kn-know babes," He stuttered and held me close to him.
"I'm so scared," I cried into Rob's chest.
"You're going to be okay you're not going to die." Rob tried convincing me and himself.
I shook my head and squeezed his hand, "I love you so much, Matt."
"I love you too Rob," I sighed.
~Two Weeks Later~
-Robs pov-
"M' so tired baby," Matt yawned and flopped on to our bed.
"Okay, I'm gonna go wash my face and get ready for bed, Okay?" I asked.
"Yep," he smiled. I went into our bathroom and brushed my teeth and did my skin care routine. I walked back into our room and took my shirt off. Matt blushed and waited for me to get in bed with him. I winked at him and climbed under the covers, we turned on the cooking channel and Matt was tracing my chest and touching my abs.
"I love you, Matt," I leaned over and kissed his cheek.
"I love you too Rob," he kissed my cheek and cuddled into me. I wrapped my arm around him and kissed his head.
We both fell asleep peacefully that night and I wish I could've changed what happened in the morning.
I woke up and Matt's body felt limp against mine. "Matt?" I whispered shaking him. I then realized his chest wasn't moving, I put my finger under his nose and he wasn't breathing. "Oh my god..." I got up and backed away running my hands through my hair. No, he can't be dead. I whimpered and started letting the tears fall from my eyes. "No Matt..."
I held his hand and cried, "I wasn't ready for you to go."
The bedroom door opened and Tom walked in, "Rob what's going on?"
"He's gone..." I mumbled.
"Oh no I'm so sorry," he hugged me and started crying as well. I kissed Matt's forehead as Tom dialed 911 cause that's all that we could do for him.
~Two Months Later~
I woke up cuddled into Matt's pillow, another day in bed. I reached for my phone to look at Twitter and saw someone had posted on the band page. I opened up Instagram and saw a picture from our wedding. It was our first kiss as a married couple. I scrolled down to read the caption.
"Hello this is Matt, I wrote this about a week before I passed. But something we kept from you guys was Rob and I's relationship. We had been together since high school and happily lasted my whole life. I think getting married to Rob was one of the best things that ever happened to me even if I'm going to die.
I remember the day I was called and told I was going to die right after Rob proposed to me.
So, I don't know what the boys are going to do with the band but please give them their time to mourn, I'm sure they'll come out with another album you guys will love. But I'm sad I won't be there for the ride. I'll always remember our amazing fan base and how much you guys helped me through treatments. I love you guys please respect Rob, Tom, and Si's wishes they have for the band. Goodbye.
Matt Donnelly-Damiani 1986-2019.
I smiled and saw a text from Tom, I tapped on it.
Tom: did you see the post?
Rob: I did, thank you for having him write that.
Tom: will you stop by my house today?
Rob: Sure.
Tom: okay I'm ready when you are.
I sighed and set my phone down and cried into Matt's pillow. It still smelled of his cologne and aftershave. This is how I spent almost every day since he died. I hadn't seen Tom and Si since the funeral.
I sighed and got up, I walked into the bathroom. All the memory's started spewing out and I tried to control my tears. But they never stopped, I turned the shower on and stripped.
I drove to Toms house somewhat happy that I got out of the house. I know that's what Matt would want from me.
I parked in his driveway but noticed Si's car was also there. I furrowed my eyebrows but still headed up his front steps. I knocked on the door and waited.
"Hello Rob," Tom smiled opening the door and letting me in. I took my shoes off and followed Tom to his kitchen.
"Want a drink?" Si asked.
"Or I can make you a Headfucker?" Tom offered.
"Those were Matt's favorites," I smiled.
"Yeah," Tom smiled starting to make two of the drinks.
"So how have you been?" Si asked.
"I don't know..." I sighed not wanting to tell them that all I did was sit at home most the time.
"God I miss him so much," Tom sighed handing me the drink.
"Me too," I added trying to keep myself from crying. I took a drink and looked over at my best friends.
"So we have something to tell you," Tom smiled and took Si's hand. I bit my lip already knowing what this was.
"Were together," Si smiled looking up at Tom.
"Well, I'm happy for you," I smiled at them lying right through that sentence.
"Thank you, do you wanna watch something or go out for lunch?" Tom asked.
"No, I think I'm gonna head home I've got some cleaning to do." I lied, I didn't know if I was angry or sad. I set my cup on the bar and got up. Tom and Si said their goodbyes and I left.
It'd been six months since Matt died, I convinced myself to go see his grave today. I picked up flowers and drove to the cemetery. I got out and walked, I hadn't been here since the funeral. I set the flowers by his grave, I sat down on the ground.
"I didn't think you'd want rid of me so quickly," I stifled a laugh through the lump in my throat.
"It's been miserable without you Matt," I sighed, "I wish this didn't have to happen."
I felt a presence of something, "I love you so much."
I started crying and ran my hand through my overgrown hair. I needed a hair cut so badly, I got up and went back to my car. I couldn't function without Matt anymore. My life was over as soon as Matt's life actually ended.