It's been two days since the incident and although Bryson was trying to go back home, Karen and King refused to let him leave especially with the way he was feeling.
Tamia had managed to fill Keenan in on what's been going on and he was nowhere near happy about the things he's been hearing about.
He knew something was up because Renae hadn't answered his calls and she always answered. So until he called, Bryson wasn't allowed to leave and Renae was stuck in her room moping around since they wouldn't allow her to leave.
"Maybe if you talk to me I could help," Ayanna suggested as she sat next to Renae in bed as she worked on a few poems.
"I don't have anything to talk about, everyone already picked a side," Renae replied picking up a different pen and Ayanna frowned.
"I've been sitting here for over two hours and you've managed to write six poems with the same meaning... sadness,"
"Ok... maybe it's how I release things," Renae mumbled and Ayanna laughed.
"For someone who said 'I don't give one fuck' these sad lines sure do prove otherwise,"
"Whatever,"
"Don't get mad at me, I'm trying to help you out," Ayanna told her and Renae sighed.
"I'm just tired that's all. I'm tired of crying, I'm tired of these damn pills, I'm sick of the voices, I just want to be normal but I'm selling myself a dream thinking a child of a crack addict can be anything but normal. I was a crack baby for crying out loud so I don't understand how in the hell I figured I could even beat this stupid shit,"
"Crack baby?" Ayanna furrowed her brows and Renae stared at her forgetting that she left that part out.
"Never mind," Renae mumbled shaking her head.
"No... I'm not judging I just didn't know, your mom did that mess while pregnant with you?"
"Here and there... it's a long story," Renae sighed tossing her pen and Ayanna stared at her expectantly.
"You aren't a crack baby... I have seen my fair share of them and you don't meet the criteria,"
Renae laughed then shook her head.
"She didn't do it the entire pregnancy, just bit by bit... I'm bipolar, I have severe depression episodes... I have some form PTSD that I had no clue about and I also hear shit or think I'm seeing shit... schizophrenia is the 'appropriate' name for it but my therapist refuses to diagnose me with it,"
"And yet you don't look like you have any of those things Renae... so what's going on? Because that's some serious shit. I joke about calling myself crazy but you know in the eyes of the law that's exactly what they would call you, but you aren't are you?" Ayanna said and Renae shrugged.
"Talk to me Nae, like for real, push everything else to the side and just let me in. I don't judge and you know that firsthand, I just wanna help," she added taking Renae's notebook from her and placed it to the side.
"I rather not... know why?" Renae asked and Ayanna rose a brow.
"Because talking leads to feeling which means if I feel, you'll feel sorry for me and if you feel sorry for me I'll just feel even worse because I know I'm a brat and then I'll cry and I'm tired of doing that,"
"We're human, not robots Renae what type of shit are you on?" Ayanna laughed and Renae gave her a funny look.
"I didn't mean it like that," She quickly added.
"Humans are allowed not to feel... I do it all the time,"
"And how in the world do you do that? Can't no human on this earth walk around without feeling, yo ass gotta be a robot or some shit to master that,"
"Wanna bet?" Renae challenged.
Ayanna stared at her for a moment trying to read her facial expression.
"No... just talk to me,"
"No, seriously do you want me to show you? I did it a lot in the facility," she said playing with the pen.
"I don't want to see you turn into a damn robot, I want you to talk to me," Ayanna stressed taking the pen from her.
"I don't want to talk oh my goodness," Renae huffed laying back and stared up at the ceiling.
"I'm not getting out this bed until you do,"
"Fine," Renae mumbled folding her arms and frowned.
"So... are you like not allowed to leave the room?"
"Nope," Renae sighed and Ayanna laughed.
"Well damn bitch, yo ass in prison, I placed an order at Kwan's restaurant you care if I go get it?"
"Did you get something for me?" Renae asked looking at her.
"DiD yOu GeT sOmEtHiNg FoR mE? Of course I did," Ayanna laughed and Renae mushed her.
"I don't sound like that,"
"Yes the hell you do, can't tell if yo ass from the country or up north face ass," Ayanna hollered and Renae sat up and stared at her blankly.
"That was not even funny," Renae said.
"Yes it was, don't hate," Ayanna smirked getting out the bed and grabbed her purse and phone.
"I'll be back,"
"Yeah, yeah," Renae shooed her away as she got out the bed and walked into the bathroom once she left.
When she re-entered the room, she climbed back in bed just as King walked in the room holding Tamia's phone.
"Finally came to talk to me huh?"
"Don't start," King replied handing her the phone and left before she could say anything.
Looking down at the screen, she furrowed her brows at a pissed off Keenan.
Here we go, she thought as she put the phone down and played with her nails.
"I got hella time today, so pick the phone up," He ordered.
She stared at her nails for a moment then picked up the phone.
"First of all fix your fucking face,"
"You don't have to be so aggressive," she mumbled straightening her face up.
"I'ma be everything but the Lord himself. So what the fuck wrong with you? You cursing out yo pops? Since when the fuck do you do that Renae? Huh? When the fuck did you start toting poles? Let me find out yo ass gang banging, what the fuck were you gonna do with a fucking gun full of people huh? Do you think that shit cute? You wanna end up like your mama huh?"
Renae looked away and clenched and unclenched her jaws as she tried to ignore his yelling.
"Look at me," he asserted.
He was pissed off at the fact that he wasn't there physically and felt as if things would've been different if he was there.
"LOOK AT ME!" He yelled slamming his hand on the metal table causing a few of the inmates to look his way.
Renae took a deep breath and cleared her throat before she looked at the screen.
"Do you want to be in and out of jail like your mama because you can't get your way?"
"She's not my mama," she gritted and he chuckled.
"Do it look like I give a damn about your fake, hard body wannabe ass? Answer the question,"
"I'm not like her,"
"So why the fuck you talking to your damn Daddy like your ass don't have no common sense? He ain't never put his hands on you let alone raise his voice at you! Every time your mom would put her hands on you who was there to save you?"
"Him," she mumbled staring at her arms.
"Him is not his name, who was there whenever she tried to smack you up?"
"Dad..." She answered wiping at her eyes quickly.
"Ok then, so why in the fuck would you tell him he's just like Ahmed? That nigga wasn't even a man, to begin with, just a clown ass pimp who got a kick out of getting high and beating yo mama and any other broad that talked back to him. I love my auntie but she was a fucked up individual, how the fuck would you feel if I said you act just like Egypt? Huh?"
"Renae I swear for Lord if you put this phone down one more fucking time!"
"Stop yelling at me," She mumbled picking the phone up and wiped her face.
"Now you wanna cry? It doesn't feel good, does it? How do you think Unc feels? You out there acting like you forgot who the fuck used to beat niggas for living behind your ass. Same way I beat their asses I have no problem with boxing your shit bro, what the fuck wrong with you? You been through so much shit and overcame so much shit just for you to sit up there and act a damn fool. Did he have to step up and play Daddy when that nigga Ahmed wouldn't? Nah, but he did that shit and he was genuine with it even before he knew he was your actual pops. That man gave up so much shit for y'all but YOU in general and you turn around to do this? He didn't have to sleep in the damn car with y'all for all those months, he had a house but because he loved y'all he did that shit and left his girl for y'all! Who got that house? He did, who bought you your first car and paid that shit off? BRYSON! So why in the fuck would you say the shit you said and then turn around and pretend as if you don't give a fuck about his feelings?"
Renae shrugged as she continued to wipe away her tears.
It pained Keenan to see her cry but she needed a reality check and since nobody would give it to her, he had to play the bad guy.
"Every time I turn around there's always something bad happening to me... I just can't catch a break and I'm tired of it. I have to take medication just to function like a regular sane person and if I don't I start talking to myself. I was supposed to be happier here... I can't be happy anywhere and I'm tired of it, I just want it to stop," She vented.
"So when things don't go your way suicide becomes your answer?"
"I never said that," she frowned.
"That's exactly what you just said without even realizing it. You wanna take your life and leave behind those precious girls of yours? That's selfish even for you Renae,"
"I never said that," she cried tossing the phone.
"Yes you did and I don't give a damn about your crying so pick the phone back up," he demanded.
Grabbing the phone, she placed it between her thighs and stared ahead blankly.
"You have a problem with flipping shit back on you. I'm talking about you disrespecting yo pops and you over there talking about you,"
"What the fuck do you want me to say! I'm trying to talk that's what you wanted me to do right? So listen to me!" She screamed.
"I know one thing you better watch your fucking mouth,"
"Coming from someone who's supposed to be my 'brother' but got locked up for stupid shit," she insulted and Keenan rose his brow.
"Excuse me?"
"Hard to control someone from a jail cell, should've been here for me when I needed you," She spat and before he could reply she ended the call and threw the phone into the wall.
King rushed in the room with Tamia and Karen right behind him.
Looking from a distraught Renae then down at Tamia cracked phone, King was about to say something until Tamia tried to charge at her but was held back by his mom and him.
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!"
"EVERY FUCKING THING!" Renae screamed getting out the bed and rushed into the bathroom and sat on the floor as Tamia tried to kick the door down.
"OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR!"
"Go away!" Renae cried covering her ears and squeezed her eyes shut trying to drown out everything.
In the midst of Renae shutting off her feelings, Keenan had called Tamia back and when she answered the first thing he noticed was her pissed off expression.
"I don't give a damn what you gotta say, bring her ass up here to see me next week," He asserted looking at Kingston.
"Don't come at me sideways with no bullshit," King replied moving the phone out his face and knocked on the bathroom door.
"Like I said and I'ma say it in front of your mama if my cousin not here by next Friday I don't have a problem with handling you,"
"Where tha' fuck dat got you da last time nigga? Don't you ever try to boss tha' fuck up on me, like she said, yo ass should've been there but instead I was so take dat shit elsewhere," King gritted banging louder on the door.
Keenan tilted his head and smirked, "I see the both of y'all need a reality check,"
"Tamia take dat phone out my face before I catch a flight up there and deliver an ass whooping," King warned.
Keenan went to shoot him a few words but Karen cut the volume down and ushered Tamia out.
When Renae heard the room clear she unlocked the door and King opened it slowly.
When King walked in he tried to sit next to her but she shook her head and pointed at the sink.
Closing the bathroom door back, King leaned up against the sink and stared at her as she played with her ring.
"I don't want them here," she mumbled.
"They can't go back home Nae, you and Bryson still haven't settled shit,"
"I don't want to... I don't want them here anymore so either you're with me or on their side," she said and he looked her over for a moment.
"You know I'm always on your side but I'm not sending dem home Nae,"
"Guess everyone will feel miserable then, don't say I didn't warn you," she shrugged getting up and opened the bathroom door.
"This is how you want da girls to see you?" He asked.
"I told you to send them home, so this is on you," she shrugged motioning for him to get out.
"I'm not leaving you in here alone," he wrinkled his forehead.
"Every time something goes wrong the first thing y'all assume is that I'm going to kill myself, don't you get tired of that?" She asked and he could tell he offended her.
"Just get out King," she sighed.
Staring at her for a moment, King took a deep breath then nodded slowly and headed out the bathroom.
"I'm just trying to help you," He said looking at her.
"I can do it myself," she replied simply before closing and locking the door behind him.
Running her fingers through her hair, she took a deep breath and walked over towards the sink and opened the drawer pulling the scissors out.
Staring at them for a while, she stared at her reflection then closed her eyes.
Here we go...
***
It was November 30th and Renae had shifted into a whole new person. From her hair change to her nonchalant attitude, the family wasn't sure if they wanted to be around her or not.
The twins still loved her the same but just like everyone else, they knew she was different but they were babies, wasn't much they could do or say.
"Are you sure that's what you should have done?" Ayanna asked glancing over at Renae then back to the road.
"Fresh start right? Gotta start somewhere," Renae replied staring out the window.
"I always hear people say "If a woman cuts her hair that means she's turning a new page in her life" is that you?"
"At this point Yanna I'm just going with the wind," Renae admitted.
"Are you happy with this though Nae, like you just chopped your hair off two days ago... people don't just do that, not unless you're Britney Spears," she laughed and Renae shrugged.
"She wasn't crazy just tired of everyone's shit... like me,"
"What's gonna happen now? Should I put a pause on the wedding?"
"No," Renae laughed.
"Sis I hope you know what you're doing,"
"Just giving them what they wanted," she replied and Ayanna looked over at her.
"I don't th— never mind," Ayanna mumbled shaking her head.
"It's cute though, I will admit. You did a good job," she complimented pulling up into Mrs. Capris boutique.
"Are you going to visit your cousin?" She asked when they got out of her car.
"No, he said all he wanted to and I said what I needed to. I'm honestly tired of the back and forth shit, I'm just sick of it," Renae sighed putting her shades on.
"I don't blame you,"
When they got inside Mrs. Capri was talking with a few customers so Ayanna led Renae towards the back.
"You want a drink?"
"Wine," Renae answered sitting down and looked Mrs. Capri's office over.
It looked like a big living room, nothing about it screamed 'office'.
"Kwan really does take care of his family I see,"
"King does the same," Ayanna reminded and Renae only shrugged as she took the glass from her.
"Did you take your medicine today?"
"Mhm," Renae hummed sipping on her drink.
"How long do you have to take them?" Ayanna asked sitting next to her.
"The rest of my life unless shit changes,"
"Are you afraid of it passing down to the twins?" She asked.
"No, I haven't seen any symptoms, like always I'm the one getting the short end of things," Renae laughed but Ayanna could tell it bothered her.
Before she could reply Mrs. Capri walked in.
"Gud afternoon, wah brings yuh two by?" She asked.
"Nae wants to get a few headpieces made for the twins," Ayanna announced and Mrs. Capri looked over at Renae who was working on her second drink.
"Renae?"
"Yes?" Renae answered mid glass lift.
"Iz dat wah yuh need?"
"Yes... sorry I was somewhere else," Renae laughed.
Mrs. Capri looked her over then smirked. "Yuh changed yur hair?"
"More like cut it," Renae laughed and Mrs. Capri smiled walking over her way and touched her hair.
"It'z gorgeous, keep it," she complimented and Renae smiled thanking her.
"Cum show mi wah yuh need," She added opening the door and Renae put her glass down and followed behind Ayanna.
She was turning over a new leaf and wanted nothing but positive energy around her, no more sadness, no more guilt, and no more anger, just happiness.
***
"No!" Kaari screamed hitting Dajon when he tried to take her book.
"Don't tell me no, I can touch it," He teased touching it again and she scrunched her face up and squinted her eyes.
"Stop picking with her Dajon," Eve laughed entering the playroom.
"I'm just trying to see if she can hold her own," He chuckled picking up the cards and shuffled them.
Reign crawled in the room and sat right next to Eve as she picked up their puzzle box.
"She's not even a year and you're already trying to teach her violence,"
"She'll thank me later," he laughed looking at Kaari as she tried to teach herself how to read.
"You want me to leave you alone?" He asked and Kaari stared at him confused.
"You want me to go bye-bye?"
"Bye bye?... I here," she said tapping her leg and Eve laughed.
"Some days you understand me and some days you don't," He chuckled looking at Reign.
"You ate?" He asked smelling Cheetos on her and she giggled nodding.
"Your dad gave her some mashed potatoes then gave her some cheese puffs," Eve informed.
"I smell it all on her," He laughed touching her nose and she smiled looking at Eve and did the same.
"DJ!" Kaari beamed putting to Caillou on the tv.
"I see his bald head," He said and Eve busted out laughing.
"Why would you say that?" She laughed staring at the confused expression on Reign's face.
"He is bald, nigga been bald all my life," He said in all seriousness and Eve laughed harder.
"Oh my goodness DJ," she giggled fanning her eyes. "You are mean,"
"We knew this already," He smirked laying the cards out for Kaari.
Reign got up and walked towards the tv and stood there staring at the screen forgetting about the puzzle she was supposed to do with Eve.
"Guess you lost your sidekick for the day," Dajon joked.
"Oh hush, I can have fun alone," she pouted starting on the puzzle.
Kaari looked over at her then back at Dajon and squealed.
"All you do is yell girl," He laughed rubbing his ear.
Giggling, Kaari crawled his way and sat on his back.
"DJ," she said wrapping her short arms around his neck.
"What you want now?" He asked trying not to laugh.
"DJ," she smiled trying to pull him up and Eve laughed catching her hint.
"I think she wants a piggyback ride,"
"I just gave her one an hour ago," he chuckled playing with the cards ignoring Kaari trying to lift him up.
"Up DJ, pweaseeee,"
"Give her a piggyback ride Dajon," Eve said smiling at her.
"Mannn," he sucked his teeth getting up slowly and Kaari cheered hugging him tightly when he started walking around.
"Me!" Reign screamed running over.
"See what you did?" He laughed bending down and picked Reign up.
Eve helped him put her on his back and both twins laughed as he walked around the playroom.
Eve recorded the whole thing even up to him growing tired of walking but they kept on cheering him on.
For thirty minutes he walked around the room with a frown as they enjoyed themselves.
"Aight man," he huffed putting them down then laid on his back and fanned himself.
"Up DJ," Kaari pouted tugging on his shirt.
"Un uh, I'm tired KK," he told her and she frowned staring at him with sad eyes.
"Not gonna work," He chuckled staring at the tv.
When she realized he wasn't gonna move Kaari crawled over towards Eve and sat in her lap and mugged him.
Reign went back to watching tv without a care in the world.
"You can look at me all you want, looking just like yo mean mama," He laughed and Kaari closed her eyes for a bit then reopened them and looked away.
"She just... I know you did not just try to roll your eyes," He said about to laugh and Eve covered her mouth giggling.
"That's what you get," Eve laughed holding her hand up and Kaari slapped her five.
"Don't be rewarding her bad behavior, you know you can't handle me,"
"Long as you think that," she smirked focusing on the puzzle and Dajon chuckled.
"Tryna turn my best friend against me, that's a shame," he said getting up and reached for Kaari but she shook her head.
"KK," he called and she stared down at the puzzle ignoring him.
"Oh wow," He said staring at her then nodded.
"Remember that,"
Dajon left out the room and Kaari turned around and looked up at Eve with her bottom lip poked out.
"Go get him, mama," Eve encouraged.
Smiling, Kaari stood up and ran out the playroom.
"Pway," Reign said holding up her blocks.
"You wanna play with those?" Eve asked and she nodded pointing towards the bag.
"I wanted to do this puzzle, but alright," Eve laughed getting up and walked her way.
"Let's build a house ok?"
"Un huh," Reign nodded sitting across from her and dumped the blocks out.
"No no," she said when Eve picked up the blue block.
"What?"
Reign looked at the other colors then picked up the pink one and handed it to Eve and smiled.
"I can't have blue?" Eve asked and Reign shook her head.
"Daddy bew,"
"Oh... well ok then," Eve laughed pushing the blue blocks towards her.
"No blue for me, I got it,"
*********
Thoughts?
Keenan's talk? Did he make things worse?
I know y'all don't like this side of Nae, I'm just trying to incorporate her bipolar disorder into the story a bit more, sis gonna come back tho I won't do y'all dirty.
How y'all feel about the character choices?