Trigger Warning: mentions of depression
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I have many toxic traits but this is one of the worst.
I don't do anything I enjoy claiming there's shit to do first.
But there's no point in doing that shit because what's the point of anything right?
So instead I do stuff that makes me miserable.
I don't get stuff done.
I don't do the stuff I love.
And whenever I force myself it's never the same.
So I wallow away doing shit that simply passes time.
And I wonder why I'm not happy.
Or not productive.
And I have no excuse.
But when that part of my brain takes over logic is no longer the same.
Life is no longer the same.
It's a dark pit swallowing me whole.
I feel so defenceless.
My brain is attacking its self and I don't know how this is supposed to make me feel safe.
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