HIM.
You stupid, tight pussy-starved dick.
Those words kept swirling around in my brain, slamming into the forefront of my mind ever since I first woke up this morning. Regret isn't something that I feel often because the things that I do, I do for a purpose, and I do because my mind, body, and soul are all on board. But why did I feel so regretful after waking up to a softly snoring mixed girl with dark, unruly hair fanned across the pillows we share?
She wasn't supposed to make my dick hard. She wasn't supposed to make my chest tighten, my throat close, and my limbs nervous. She wasn't supposed to moan so sexily while I held her. She wasn't supposed to fucking look at me with those damn 'fuck me' eyes and make every thought I had dissipate to wherever thoughts that escaped your memory dissipated to.
But she did. She made my dick so hard, I was leaking pre-cum before I could even register what she was doing to me. She had my heart constricting in my chest, I had no choice but to breathe heavily since my throat was closing up on me. She made my fingers twitch, desperate to touch her, but terrified to fail to please her if she wound up having different pleasure zones or things that turn her on.
She made the cutest little sounds whenever I did something right—whenever she wanted me to keep going, but clawed at my body when I went a little too far; when I gave her pleasure so intense, she could've had a stroke. She did everything she wasn't supposed to do. Looking at me with those hazel eyes that had me rethinking my entire approach to her—rethinking everything I ever did to her. When I told her to show me how much she wanted me, she gave me a look that I don't even think she realized was so much more than her just wanting me to fuck her and that scared the shit out of me.
She made me nervous in bed, and that scared the shit out of me. I never had to think about what I was doing whenever I had sex. Never had to think about a woman's pleasure before my own because as long as my sex hit their sex, they were pleased, but Carter...one look at her and I knew I had to make her come before I did at least once. Thinking back, I wish I had did more. I wish I had made it the best night of her fucking life—did the things I knew I could do to have a woman melt into a puddle of orgasm.
But I didn't.
And fuck, that's one of the things I regret.
I never gave her everything I had in me. She should've been seeing stars—hell nuclear explosions, but she didn't. But if I know one thing, it's that one person was definitely seeing the baddest fireworks on the Fourth of July, and that person was me. Talk about the release of the century.
My dick twitches just thinking about it. I grunt.
"Was that a yes or a no?" Maya pulls me from my treacherous thoughts as she pushes her glasses up on the top of her pretty little head.
I blinked. What the hell was her question? Lucky for me, I've been in situations like this with my mother many, many times where she's rambled and asked me a question. About seventy percent of the time, I managed to get the response that pleased her and kept me alive and breathing. If I say yes, there's a possibility of Maya tricking me because she knew I wasn't listening to her, making me look stupid in front of everyone. If I say no...I don't really see the harm in it. "No," I said before narrowing my eyes at her, waiting for her response.
When she giggled, I rolled my eyes. The body removal crew behind me was also snickering. "If you swing that way, Carson, I know a few guys that've been craving a new partner."
I flip the random guy off that was talking shit, "What the hell did you ask me?" I glance over at Maya.
She snorted before crossing her arms over her chest, pushing her breasts up and gaining my attention without her even realizing it. "I asked you if you preferred tits over balls, and you said no."
"What can I say," I shrug, "I have a nice set."
"Just pay attention to what I'm telling you, you dimwit." She grumbles before coming to stand by my side in the room that smells like rotting flesh. The crew was working on packing up Ni Sun's body and taking it down to the morgue for some of the students studying pathology to determine a cause of death for her. I sort of want to prolong the investigation because it'll be easier to solve the scene once they figure out what killed her.
Opening a little clear plastic bag that we placed on what would be Carter's bedside table after swabbing it, I pulled on some white, latex gloves, that were a little small on me, and stuck to my wrists like second skin. We had plastic coverings over our shoes as well to avoid anything being tampered with. It already seems like some evidence could go to shit since Carter cleaned her side of the room before we left for Texas.
Maya and I looked around the room which went from crispy clean on Carter's side, to a downright disaster on Ni Sun's side. "Where do we start," Maya asked me, her eyes darting around the scene while I took a deep breath. This is bullshit.
"I don't fucking know," but I found my feet moving across the room, over to where the pool of blood was sitting, smudged due to her head being on it, and I quirked up a brow as I squatted down. Swiping my fingers through the substance, I rolled my eyes, "This isn't blood."
"Really?" Maya rushes over, looking at where I was crouched as I inspected what was thicker than blood on my finger tip.
"Yeah," I murmured as she handed me a little plastic bag and a swab. I took a sample of the substance and placed it in the bag before handing it back to Maya, who pressed the folds together in order to snap it closed. "So this was staged, most likely."
"I'd have to agree," she mumbled, putting the bag in a brown folder before labeling the outside with a sharpie. Confident that whatever it was wouldn't eat my skin up, I smeared it on the part of my wrist that wasn't covered with the glove, and felt the texture. It was cool...like Carter's pussy.
Fuck, she felt so good last night. I was well sated. Best sex I ever had in my life. I passed out right after. I was so exhausted after one round with her, I slept like a fucking baby. Her vagina was soothing; it was different. Her outer lips were hot and puffy, clearly frustrated and ready for some action, but her core? Was cool. Like a fresh drink of water in from a cactus in the hot ass desert.
She looked so good when I slid in—it wasn't easy passage either. I've been with girls who were tight as a bitch, but Carter had me in a vice grip. She was so soft, so cool, not allowing me easy access when I tried to ram into her. It took a few tries, but when she finally took all of me, I could've died on the spot. I almost came on the spot—well, in her spot.
Her body is so...unique. So much to explore, and one night was not nearly enough to do it. The lights were off, so there was only so much I could see. I remember her from the showers when I saw her naked—I want to see more. I need to see more. I wanna see every mole, every dip and curve. I felt them for sure. Her titties are perfect, they fit in my hands nicely. So soft, like the rest of her body. Her stomach was toned, her arms were toned, her legs were to die for.
Everything about her was soft and firm. Her hips felt nicely under my fingertips, and her ass was comfy. I could take nap on it if I wanted to. I have to see her again. I have to inspect her before I leave her alone for good. It scared me this morning when I woke up and felt her beneath me. She was tucked under me, and she looked comfortable. A fully sated grin was stamped on her pretty face as she slept, like she knew she got under my skin and scared me without even touching me.
She scared the crap out of me because my heart was beating out of my chest from being so nervous. 'What if I didn't fuck her right?' She could've faked an orgasm for all I know. 'Did I come too early?' Shit, I didn't last nearly as long I did with other females...maybe it's because I haven't had anyone turn me on like she does. 'Did she think it was good?' I had seen the shadows play across her face. It was dark, though. I knew she was turned on, but did I satisfy her well? Is she craving me now? Did I use a condom?
Oh shit.
"Hello?" Maya yanked me out of my thoughts again, and I shook my head. What the fuck, Speros?
What the fuck? More like when the fuck are we gonna clap Carter's sexy ass again.
I didn't use a condom.
"Carson!" Maya stood above me, narrowing her eyes at me with her hands on her hips, "What the hell are you thinking about? You're sweating." She runs her dainty fingers through my hair, which was a little damp from me sweating. I was hot. The images of Carter's body beneath mine, and her breathy little moans ringing in my head were making me dizzy, and my dick was threatening to come to life with every twitch it made.
Don't get hard. Don't think about her titties. Don't get hard. Don't think about her voluptuous ass. Don't get hard. Don't think about the way she was whimpering your name—ah, shit. "Carson," Maya looked down at me, and to save myself the embarrassment, I took off my gloves and hid my face in my hands, rubbing my eyes with the heels of them.
I have a boner in a room in which a girl died.
"Fuck." I grumbled.
I came inside of Carter.
"Is there something you need to tell me?" She looked at me, horrified. As if the fact that a girl died was turning me on. My eyes widened and I shook my head, the truth spilling out of me out of fear of being labeled a necrophiliac.
"I-I fucked Carter, and now I can't get it out of my head. We had to share a room, and we got in bed, and bam, I had a boner, and—fuck. I shouldn't have done it." I groaned, but my dick twitched again. Great, now I have to rub one out.
She squatted down beside me and rubbed my back, "Well now I understand," she sighed, resting another hand on my knee, "You should take some time away from this to focus on yourself. Figuring out who you are can be quite difficult, especially when you get these feelings that you're not so sure of. If you need support, you can talk to me...I see the look in your eyes, it seems like you really like him—"
I slapped her hand off of my knee, and shot up from the floor, "First off, it's Carter. The girl," she snorted when she saw the look on my face, "And second, I don't like her. Her pussy was fantastic, she made me come. End of story."
I fucking came in her.
She rose a brow at me, "Really?"
"Yes, really. And I'll fuck her again if it gets her out of my mind." I pout, realizing I'm thinking about her again. She better leave my head soon, I have a fucking game to win tonight.
"Right because fucking her out of your system will wash your feelings away." Her brows furrowed as she stared at my side profile.
Mine furrowed when I heard her sarcastic declaration, "There's no fucking feelings. I got between her legs, I liked how it felt. I might do it again. That's it."
She rolls her eyes, "You shouldn't use her like that. "
"Why the fuck not?" I looked into her blue eyes, annoyed.
"Women have feelings even when they act like they don't. What's meaningless to you could be everything to her. Sex is powerful, you could really hurt someone."
"Damn right I can with how much dick I got." I spit back, "But however she feels doesn't concern me. She wants sex? I'll give it. I want sex? She'll spread her legs like every other whore. Watch. She won't care. Her feelings won't get hurt; she's grown. She knows what she's doing." I step over the puddle of 'blood' before making my way out of the room.
"Carson," Maya warned.
"Fuck off."
|||
"So you finally fucked her after three years," Ryker claps his hands slowly, his dark brown, almost black eyes with the epitome of disappointment. "Congratulations." He states monotonously. I'd honestly feel extremely excited at the fact he's finally back in Florida, but when he's looking at me like that, it throws my excitement right out of the window.
"What's the look for, Father?" I roll my eyes, placing my fist under my chin, and looking up at him under my eyelashes, "I don't like disappointing my guardian."
"You're an asshole." He shakes his head, tilting his beer up to his lips. "Piece of shit."
I didn't even have to question him because with his father-like qualities, he can give a good lecture. And being friends with him this long, I know when one is coming. He narrows his eyes at me—this is a time when his eyes look black, and I blow out a breath because he looks scary.
So I lean back as he leans forward, placing his elbows on the table, and pointing the neck of his bottle at me, "That time in Texas was my fourth time seeing her in person, and I can already tell that she's into you, but you're being an asshole, so she's holding out."
"Holding out?"
"The closest you're getting to her is through her vagina, and even that isn't guaranteed." When I blinked, he summarized, "She digs you, and you're treating her like just another girl, so that's how she's going to act. You're never going to get to know her as a person. She'll just let you in for sex, and that attraction is going to go to shit."
I roll my eyes again. Everyone thinks I like this chick, so now everyone wants to give me the 'you need to stop thinking with your dick' speech. "Carson."
"What?" I spit, fed up with the talking. I need to go out to the field early and bat my problems away. This is stupid.
"Why did you have sex with her last night?"
"She was grinding on my dick while I was asleep and you expect me not to react?" I looked at him, aggravated. The bitch interrupted my dream last night, and warped it so weirdly, I was second guessing my sexuality.
It consisted of Ryker and I at a strip club. We were celebrating the fact that he had came back from Texas, and was now back in school with me, and we were talking, catching up and chatting up some chicks.
Somehow, we went from talking, to him sitting on my lap, and then he proceeded to give me a lap dance. Weird shit, but in my dream I didn't pay it any mind because our relationship is weird anyway. But when I felt my cock stiffen, I knew something was wrong, and my heart started racing in my dream because I just knew I was turning into a homosexual, but I woke up to Carter moving that nice ass against my crotch.
It was nice knowing that I was hard because of Carter fucking with me and not the image of my best friend giving me a lap dance. My sexuality was further confirmed when I thought about Ryker and I actually having sex, and I lost my lunch today. That would be weird. It would be the world's greatest fight for the top, though. That would be interesting...
"Yes." He answered immediately.
"You're crazy." I confirmed.
"She's a nice girl!" He defended, "She's cute. She giggles like a white girl, is feisty like a black girl, and is smart and carefree. Perfect to keep you in check, but you ruined it because you wanted to get your dick wet. I guarantee she hates you right now." He shook his head at me.
"I don't care, though!" I groaned, tempted to chug the rest of his beer down because these people are exhausting me today. "She's a whore anyway. She puts out, but turns around bats her eyelashes to y'all, and you soft fuckers melt like butter."
"She has a good heart. She's not one I advise you to fuck with. I bet she won't have sex with you again. She's not that kind of girl." He sets his now empty beer bottle now and drops some bills on the table, placing his bottle on top of them. "I saw it with my own eyes."
"Your psychic readings are shit."
"Then why the hell do you regret fucking her? You're talking all this fluff about how you want to sex her again, but your eyes are showing you're a fucking liar. You feel bad."
"I do not," I swallow. The conviction in my voice was enough to have him smirk at me. "Fuck you."
"Sort your shit out. Raine isn't like those other girls. Keep your dick out of the way, and you'll see it for yourself." He watched me with victorious eyes as I stood up from the chair, and flipped him off.
Fuck you. Fuck you all. Carter is a whore. She wants nothing but sex, and since we're living together, she wants it from me. I'm not a fucking fool, I know a whore when I see one. The little bitch thinks she's cute—putting on this harmless persona, and flashing her pretty teeth at you, making you think she has pure intentions.
This isn't my first rodeo. I've been with girls just like her. She tries to play hard to get. She tries to make it seem like she's human by showing that she does have 'slip ups'. She does accidentally lose her cool, like when she threatened Ryker. She shows she's down to Earth by popping up to parties and drinking. She fits in with all the guys. She knows sports. She has turn ons and isn't afraid to react on them. She seems like a fucking great, go-with-the-flow chick.
But when she gets what she wants, she leaves. When she makes you vulnerable, she steps on your neck, she breaks you, and she enjoys it. She doesn't give a fuck about anyone's feelings but hers. She has a motive, I know she does. She wants toy with me? Fine, but don't expect me to apologize when I crush her little dreams of destroying me.
I won't get hurt again. I won't be vulnerable again.
So fuck Maya. Fuck Ryker. And fuck you. You like Carter? Awesome. Wait 'til she shows you who she really is, and don't feel sorry for me then. Don't take back your thoughts of me being an asshole. Fuck you all.
I refuse to hurt.
___
Oops...
How does Raine feel?