Sorry for the late update. Got into a car accident recently and I've been sore as heck. -_-
Hopefully updating more soon and I'm starting on the first official new chapter of Red and Gold soon! If you don't know what that is, it's a one-shot I wrote from julyghry and Scomichemylife's prompt! I wrote a part two and now I'm turning it into an entire fic. I hope to have that up soon :)
Please vote and comment as always. <3
---
Dinner was over and I found myself unpleasantly distracted the entire time. I did eat, though, seeing as my body was finally starting to let me again. Claudette had me come into the kitchen after she was done cleaning up to speak with me. I was getting nervous now, seeing the light start to disappear from outside. Roxas and I hadn’t even had a chance to go into the basement yet.
“Sit down.” She said as she took her teapot out to make me some tea. I smiled at the gesture. I could get used to small talks in the kitchen over a hot cup of tea. If only it were about something normal and not about some demonic spirit that was possibly going to kill me.
“Claudette…I remember things.”
“I’m surprised. You were in a trance that night. I didn’t think –“
“No, I remember that entire night. What I meant was I remember things…that aren’t from my memories…”
“What do you mean?” She sat down across from me as the water boiled.
I played with my fingers nervously, dreading the words that were about to flow out of my mouth. Catherine could be listening from anywhere.
“It’s like I’m there with all of you before the fire started.” I started quietly, afraid of her reaction. “I can see Catherine and Gregory…they’re mother and son…and then flames.” My face began to heat up at the thought of the hot flames engulfing the house. Claudette stood suddenly and stared down at me in horror.
“Lights…” She looked terrified of me and it hurt my heart. The tea kettle began to whistle and I swear she jumped a mile before she rushed over and took it off of the stove. “How do you know these things?” Her face was filled with anger and terror, but I knew it was just confusion.
“Claudette, I don’t know. That’s the problem.” I sounded desperate. “They just came to me…I can’t explain it, but I know everything that happened.”
“It’s not possible.” She said. She averted her eyes back to the tea kettle and started to pour out two mugs, her hands shaky. “You must have heard me say it…”
“You never told me that.” I said. “I don’t understand why either but that’s the point. How would I know that? What’s going on with me?”
She put down the kettle and started to make the tea. “I must have mentioned it…”
“You didn’t. I would remember.”
She still shook her head in disbelief.
“You used to call her Catty.”
Her eyes shut at the memory and she put her hand on her eyes.
“You would call Gregory ‘pumpkin pie’ and you’d make him tea just like you are right now for me.” I couldn’t even believe what was coming out of my mouth. Claudette moved her hand down her face and I saw her eyes filled with tears. “Claudette…” stood up from my chair. “I don’t know why I know all of this.”
Silence fell over the two of us while Claudette tried to avoid crying. When she finally calmed herself, I felt my own eyes welling with tears. The grave was back to normal as if I had done nothing to it and now I could possibly be dead by sunrise. “I’m scared.” My voice was small and shaky.
Claudette turned to me and her face became soft. “Sweetheart…” She took the mugs of tea and placed them in our spots. “Sit…talk…I’m sorry…this is just so…unbelievable.”
“I know.” I took the tea in my hands and looked down into it. “Gregory told me to burn her…”
Her eyes shot up to me. “You made a mistake.”
“I know I did…”
“No, you don’t understand. You only set her gravesite on fire…not her grave.”
“What does that mean?”
“Her body, Lights.”
My eyes went wide. “That’s why it didn’t work…”
“Yes. At least that’s what I can think…you only set her memorial to flames not her actual being.”
I started to feel sick again and I put my hands on my eyes. “I can’t go back out there…they’ll be watching me.”
She nodded and then her expression became seriously worried. “I don’t know what you’re going to do…”
“I need to figure something out…Roxas and I were going to check the basement…”
She shook her head. “You’ll find plenty out about the fire and who was in it, but that’s it. It won’t help you kill Catty.”
“I want you to tell me about her.” I said. “What was she like? What happened to her?”
Claudette took a long, deep breath. “Well, as you know, she was my best friend. Her and I worked side by side from the time she was 18, when she first had Gregory. Her parents shunned her for having a child out of wedlock though she married the man not long after. He died from pneumonia…which is why I think you were ill.”
I swallowed. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“This was 45 years ago, honey, and we have different medicines now. I knew you would be okay. He died when she was 20…and Gregory was only two. Then she moved into the staff’s quarters with her son…and things were good. She was heartbroken for years but she was doing so much better. Then the sickness began to take its course. Her mind started to slip and she knew it. She confided in me and said she wasn’t feeling herself, but I told her it was probably just from working so much. Then it started to get worse and she started talking about the devil. At first I thought nothing of it, but we shared a room. I saw pentagrams etched into the walls and written on her books. Gregory became scared of her…she pulled him out of church. Started telling her to sacrifice animals and that’s when I realized something was really wrong, but it was too late. Before I could do anything the house was on fire…” She shook her head. “Catty was a good girl. She was beautiful too. She was spiritual and warm, and she loved that boy of hers, but something got in her. She wasn’t the same person anymore…” Her eyes were filling with tears again and I swallowed.
“She made Gregory hurt other boys.” I said. “It wasn’t just animals.”
Her face was unsettled. “I’m not surprised…” She leaned forward and grabbed my hands. “Lights, I want you to tell me exactly what happened that night of the fire. Please…”
I went to refuse, but the memories came rushing back to me and took my breath away. “Gregory was in bed. She went in and she woke him up and told him to follow her. He was hesitant but it was his Mom…he wanted to trust her so badly and then she led him into this house. She told him that she was going to make him some food…so she gave him bread and then led him upstairs so he could play with some toys…”
I took in a sharp breath as I imagined the hallway. It was almost a mile long, with a large room in the middle where toys were. “She made him stop…right where the attic entrance is now. She pulled down the ladder and set him up there, then told him to wait. She woke up his best friends…I don’t know their names…and sent them up there with him. She said they were going to play a game.” My heart started to race once I realized what I was seeing. I whimpered, my mouth agape once I put the pieces together. “She opened the door that’s up there…and she locked them in there.”
Claudette’s face was upset, but she waited for me to continue.
“She told Gregory that their master would pay them with great rewards…and then she shut the door and went downstairs to what looks like a ballroom…”
“We had a ballroom back then…for charity events…” Claudette said breathlessly.
“She climbed up to the balcony that was in there…and she set the velvet curtains on fire. It engulfed the chandelier and it fell…exploded…” I felt my chest getting heavy. “She just left the house and went back to your room like nothing happened…she was chanting in Latin…then she saw that you went to help and she followed you to make sure you wouldn’t save her sacrifices…”
I put my hands over my eyes and felt my body get weak. “Then she walked into the flames as the final sacrifice…”
“Okay, enough.” Claudette silenced me and we looked at each other with equally terrified misty eyes.
The door opened just then and Mrs. H came walking into the house. “Good evening.” Her tone was the same as the first time I met her – cold and snooty. “God, what an awful day…Nicholas has lost his mind!” She was too busy paying attention to her winter coat coming off than to who was in the room. When she turned and saw me, she put on a smile. “Oh, hello!”
“Hi, Mrs. H.”
“Okay…Claudette please, get back to work. We don’t pay you to sip tea with the boys!” She ran off into the living room and Claudette rolled her eyes in my direction.
“Sorry, the queen bee summons me.” She said in a heavily sarcastic tone and I started to laugh. “Go upstairs…stay with that boy. He’ll protect you.” She smirked and winked at me, making me blush deep.
“I know he will.”
---
The night seemed to come slow after that point, and once it was there it went even slower. I watched the time as it slowly crept by, huddled up in my bed with my knees pulled up to my chest. I’d kept the light on the entire time in fear that something could appear in the dark. Everytime one of the boys moved in their rooms, I would jump. I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin, so I finally decided to get myself some comfort in the form of a tall, beautiful blonde boy named Roxas.
I opened my door cautiously and peeked out. At every corner I expected a murderous Catherine to be hiding in the shadows, but I was okay for now. Blue’s door was open, and I couldn’t help but peek in as I walked by. He was alone, lying on his bed with his little book. I tried to walk by quickly and quietly, but he saw me and sat up in his bed. “Lights!” He whispered out.
I stopped and smiled in at him, then went into the bedroom and shut the door halfway. I approached him cautiously, praying that she wouldn’t appear anywhere near him. I couldn’t bear anyone getting hurt because of something I did, especially innocent Blue.
“Are you feeling any better?” He asked.
I hesitated to answer. “I’m okay.”
He tilted his head and studied my expression. “No, you’re not.” He said. “You look scared out of your mind. Why did you lie to me, Lights?” He moved closer to me on the bed. “Is it a trust thing?”
I looked into his eyes and felt my guard falling down. “I don’t want you getting involved with all of this…it’s so messy…and dangerous.”
“Why is this happening to you?” He asked.
“I guess it’s just my luck.” I tried to lighten the mood and smiled, but he still looked worried. “It’ll be okay.” I assured him. I got up to leave for Roxas’s room. “Good night, Blue. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Good night.” He smiled over at me and watched me as I leave, a sad longing on his face. It pained me shutting the door, but I had to get to Roxas. I needed him right now more than ever.
I knocked lightly on his door and heard Scar laugh again. I didn’t turn around to face him. I just waited for Roxas to come to his door. Something did make me turn around, though, and when I did I realized that Scar was in his bed asleep.
Fear started to wash over me and Roxas opened the door just in time for me to run it and shut it. “Whoa, what the hell?” He put his arms up as I shut the door and backed up from it. “What’s happening? Is she here?”
“No. Not her.” I said.
“Gregory?”
I shook my head spastically. “No. I have no idea…the laugh was deep…I thought it was Scar but it wasn’t. Oh my God now what?” I looked up at the ceiling and put my hands on the top of my head.
Roxas came up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. “Maybe you’re hearing things…you’re stressed out and it’s late. Just come lay down and maybe it’ll stop.”
He sat on his bed and pat the spot next to him. I took a moment and stared at him. His normally angry face was soft and his body language was comfortable around me. I walked right over to him and climbed into his arms, taking him by surprise. “I think I’m losing my mind.” I said. I had my arms wrapped loosely around his neck and my head rested on my shoulder.
“You’re not losing your mind. You’re just stressed.” I felt the vibrations of his voice against my body as he spoke. I shut my eyes and dug my face into the crook of his neck, taking in his scent. “You need to sleep…”
“I know.” I said. “I’m still sick.”
“Come lay down…” He said, putting his hands on my arms to push me back. I looked at him and nodded.
“I can stay in here?”
He nodded. “Of course you can. I don’t want anything getting to you.”
I smiled at him and continued staring at his face before I realized it was for too long. I turned away and felt my cheeks go red before I climbed into his bed. He climbed in next to me and curled up behind me, wrapping his long arms around me again like he’d done the night before.
“I could get used to this.” I whispered after a while of lying there. He didn’t respond, but I really hoped he was smiling. I shut my eyes and despite what could have been standing in front of me right at that moment, I drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
---
It was so cold…
I didn’t move for the moment. I figured the heat was turned off and Roxas had gotten out of bed, but it was too raw. The cold was hurting me and I couldn’t move. I finally opened my eyes, but I was only met by black. It took a moment to adjust, but then I realized where I was.
“Oh my God…” I whispered, my breath appearing before me and disappearing just as quickly. The beautiful white stars stared back down at me while my body lay out on the cold, hard ground. I finally moved my arms, as numb as they wore, and forced myself to sit up in my spot. I tried desperately to stand up, but I couldn’t find my footing. I just fell hard to the ground when I got to my feet, groaning loudly and clutching at my bare arms. I was in nothing but the t-shirt and sweatpants I’d fallen asleep in. I didn’t even have shoes on.
I curled up into a ball in the spot I lay in, desperate for warmth, but it didn’t come. The wind started to blow and I took in a sharp breath as my body began to hurt badly. I passed out next, convinced I was going to die. All I know was that it was Catherine, because the last thing my eyes saw was the untouched stone of her grave in front of my face.
---
I sat up and immediately began to vomit, but there was a bucket being held in front of me. I groaned in pain as it came up, my body hot and cold at the same time. I felt hands on my shoulders from behind and someone was running a hand through my hair. My ears were ringing and my vision was blurred, but I guessed it was Roxas and Claudette. It had to have been.
Whoever was behind me pulled back against them and held me there close. I finally started to come to, my ears allowing me to hear again and my eyesight becoming clearer. I was drenched in sweat and my body was tingling in a bad way.
“He’s coming around.” Claudette said, pulling the bucket away from me and then grabbing my chin. “Can you hear me?”
I nodded lightly and I heard someone sigh in relief. I looked over and saw a few of the boys standing in my room. Bass was standing closest to me, with Cello behind him, then Semi and Mute near the door. Awful was watching from the hallway and Blue was standing on the other side of my bed with his hand on my shoulder. I recognized the way Roxas held me and clutched onto his arm.
“Alright boys, go back to work before Mrs. Hemingway comes up here.” Claudette shooed most of the boys out of the room. Blue kissed me on the cheek before he started to leave, shooting me a sad smile as he headed out.
“What the hell happened to me?” I escaped from Roxas’s grasp and tried to stand, but both of them yelled “NO!” and made me sit back down. “Tell me!” I yelled out at both of them, fear washing over me. “I woke up in a fucking graveyard last night and now I’m here! What HAPPENED!?”
Claudette rushed and shut my door before I kept yelling. “Be quiet! You want everyone rushing back in here and asking about the graveyard?!”
I looked up at her and shook my head. “Of course I don’t! But what happened? I was in bed last night and now I’m here?”
“That’s what I want to know.” Claudette’s eyes shot from me to Roxas, who was sitting behind me with tired, dark eyes.
I turned on the bed to face him, but my body was so weak I nearly fell back into a laying position. He grabbed my arms to keep me from hitting the bed and picked me up to lay me down softly. “You don’t remember anything?” He looked down at me seriously from where he sat next to me, his hand resting on my shoulder.
“No.” I said, my voice small. “The last thing I remember…we were going to sleep in your room.”
He looked like as if he could cry, but he kept his composure as he told me the story. “You got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom…so I let you get up, but you didn’t come back after a while and I started getting worried. I went downstairs to look for you and you weren’t in the house, but your coat and boots were still here, so I didn’t think to look outside. I went in the basement and tried looking for you but you weren’t there. It took me a long time to realize you’d just gone outside with nothing else on…I went into the woods and searched for you before I realized where you really were. You were curled up in a ball in front of Catherine’s grave…so I went to carry you back but you got up and told me not to touch you. You walked two feet ahead of me the whole way back…once we got inside you acted as if you had no idea who I was.”
I sat up again and wiped my eyes. I wasn’t remembering an ounce of this for the life of me. I only remembered waking up at Catherine’s grave.
“I kept trying to talk to you but it was like you were someone else…”
“What was he talking like?” Claudette asked.
“He wasn’t really formulating words…but he was acting scared of me whenever I tried to touch him.” He turned back to me and brought his hand up to the side of my face. “Then you passed out and I carried you up here…”
I looked out the window. It was morning, but it was a dreary and rainy day. If he hadn’t found me I’d really be dead by now. My entire body felt strange and sickly as I sat there. I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to throw up again or pass out under the warmth of my blankets.
Had I been possessed? And by who?
“You’re going back to the hospital.” Claudette said and I shot my eyes over to her.
I wanted to fight so badly, because again, I loathed hospitals, but right now the last place I wanted to be was in this house with everything that was going on. “Fine.” I said.
---
Roxas was able to come even though Mrs. H tried desperately to get him not to, but I had ended up begging her. He had to drive this time, though, so I sat in the front seat with him and curled up into a ball against the passenger’s side door. Blue came with us and sat in the seat behind me so he could keep a hand on my shoulder. I held it the entire way there as I drifted in and out of consciousness.
“Are you cold?” Roxas asked Blue after a while.
“No, I’m fine. Thank you.” Blue responded.
“Alright…let me know if you get uncomfortable.”
“Sure…is he asleep?” Blue asked.
“Yeah, definitely.”
I tried to refrain from moving so I could listen to them talk.
“Alright, good…poor guy…” Blue squeezed my hand slightly and sighed deeply. “What the hell is happening to him?”
Roxas didn’t answer for a while. “I wish I knew…”
“That house is doing something to him.” Blue said, but Roxas didn’t say anything back. “Has he told you anything?”
“Not much.”
They fell silent again and I heard Blue shift closer to me from behind. He put his other hand on my arm and rested his head against the back of the headrest. I moved my head down so my cheek was resting on the hand I’d been holding onto, and his thumb started to move up and down my cheek. It felt amazing, giving me the same butterflies I’d been feeling with Roxas as of late. I felt a little guilty thinking about it, but this is what I lived for. Boys. I loved them and I loved playing with them, and these two truly cared about me. All of this was so dangerous, though, and for once I truly think I cared about the both of them. I’d never cared for anyone the same way I did about them. I even cared about most of the other boys back at the house – not in the same way, obviously, but I wouldn’t want anything bad happening to them. Scar, however, I felt nothing towards. Specks made me angry as ever. Awful had his moments. Semi could be extremely annoying…
A hand touched my forhead and startled me, but it was just Roxas. “He has a fever again.” He said. “Shit…his pneumonia’s probably going to come back.”
“Yeah…what happened? You said he passed out but that was it.”
“He was outside…” Roxas tried to come up with something to say but came up short. I’d have to teach him how to lie better. This was ridiculous. “I got him to come back in and then he passed out.”
“Why was he outside?”
“I don’t know.”
Blue sighed. “He seemed…off last night. He looked exhausted and nervous…I know he went to your room after he stopped to speak with me. So cut the shit…you know what’s going on with him, you’re just not telling me.”
“You have no idea…”
“I know about Gregory.”
Silence fell over the car and my heart hurt. I really didn’t want Blue involved. I forced myself to move and brought my hands up to wipe my eyes. “Where are we?” I asked sleepily.
“We’re getting to the city in a few minutes…” Roxas looked over at me with concerned eyes.
I continued holding onto Blue’s hand and rested my head against the window. “How are you feeling?” He asked from behind.
“Bad.” I said.
“Hang in there…” He said sweetly.
We were at the hospital only a few minutes later and Roxas parked. I opened my door before Roxas got there and he went to pick me up, but I put my hand out. “Let me walk.”
“That’s probably not a good idea…”
I didn’t listen and got out of the car on my own two feet, but immediately started to feel dizzy. I stood for a moment until my body relaxed and tried to step forward, but my legs gave out from underneath and I dropped to the ground. Roxas caught me before my knees hit the cement, thankfully, and picked me up to carry me inside. “Stubborn.”
“Shut up.”
---
They gave me more steroids and told me to keep warm. We were in and out in no time with my medications, thankfully, and we started to head back to the house. I sat in the backseat with Blue this time so I could lay down. “I don’t want to go back to that house.” I said seriously. Roxas looked back at me with defeated eyes.
“I have to bring you back, Lights. If I don’t then Mrs. H is going to send the police out after us.” He said.
I felt sick thinking about being back in there with whatever was happening to me last night. “What if I was possessed?” I asked aloud and Roxas shot me a look. Blue’s face was horrified and he and Roxas exchanged glances. “What if someone possessed me? It’s possible.”
“How is it possible? Gregory wouldn’t possess you.” Blue said.
“No…but what if Catherine did?”
“Why would she bring you back to her grave?” Roxas asked.
“So I could die in the place where I tried to kill her.” I said.
Roxas gulped and turned back around to the steering wheel. “Then why didn’t she?”
“Because she’s torturing me.” I said. “But that laugh last night…that wasn’t her…I don’t know who that was.”
“Okay wait…who is Catherine?” Blue asked. I looked up into his beautiful doe eyes and felt sad. I wanted to keep him out, but this had gone too far. I spent most of the car ride explaining to him exactly what was going on with me. I told him everything from the memories to the possession to setting the grave on fire…he looked horrified by the end of it.
“You can’t repeat any of this…to anyone.” I emphasized. “You know who I mean.” I said.
His cheeks flushed pink. “I won’t tell him.” He said.
“Thank you.” I said. We were getting closer to the house and I felt myself getting more and more nervous as we approached. It arose from the distance as we neared it and I felt like it was staring me in the face, laughing as I sat there in fear. Mrs. H was watching out the window and rushed to the door as we pulled up.
“Oh thank heavens!” She said. “Lightsy you look so much better! Now come inside, it’s almost time for dinner!” She took the keys out of Roxas’s hand and rushed back into the house before she got cold. I was able to walk on my own this time, but I held onto Roxas’s arm anyway. Soon enough we were in the house again, and I was scared to death of it.
---
“I need to go back in the basement…there has to be something that can help us.” Roxas was pacing in my bedroom while I settled in.
“Claudette said there’s nothing down there that can help us.” I said. Blue sat on the bay window, taking all the information in. “We’d find out about the fire but nothing about getting rid of Catherine. We need to burn her body.”
They both looked at me in sheer terror. “Look, I didn’t say I wanted to.” I defended. “Claudette said that’s probably why it didn’t work. I only set the site on fire, not her.”
“Jesus Christ…this is too much.” Blue said suddenly, running his hands through is perfect hair.
“I don’t want you getting involved with this…” I said and he looked up at me, hurt. “This is too dangerous…”
“Then why is he involved?” Blue pointed up to Roxas.
“He was already involved.”
“Catherine’s been haunting me for years…but not to this extent. I’m already in deep.”
Blue stood up. “I’m not just going to walk out of here and go about my day after everything you just told me. Not when you could get hurt or killed…”
I couldn’t help but give him a smile, but my face fell immediately. “If you got hurt I wouldn’t forgive myself.”
Blue shrugged. “At least let me be there for you.”
“Of course, Blue.” I smiled at him again, being taken in by the delicate features on his face.
Mrs. H came through the door just then. “Aw look at this! Three best friends!” She said. Blue and I started to laugh and Roxas made a face. “Lights, we want you to stay in bed for the next couple of days. We really need you to get better, sweetheart. I think we might be working you too hard.” It was laughable, because I’d barely done any work the past few days.
“As for you two…” She turned to face them. “You have to make up your chores from this morning…Roxas, you’re downstairs cleaning the kitchen. Rose hurt her arm and can’t do it. Blue, I need you to clean the fireplace in the living room. There are cobwebs collecting in there.”
They both listened and Mrs. H left the room. Roxas left the room quickly without saying another word, worrying me, but Blue stayed with me. He sat on the bed next to me and put his hand on my arm. “I’ll be quick…want company after? Or do you want to wait for him?” He motioned his head in Roxas’s general direction.
I shut my eyes. “You’re both my friends.”
He nodded. “Sorry…” He looked down at my arm. “I’ll come back after?”
“I’d like that.” I said. His eyes were sad. “You should go before you get in trouble.”
He listened to me, looking at me again as he left the room. I was terrified of being alone, but what was I to do? I could barely walk without falling over, so I couldn’t exactly go hang out with one of the other boys. I sat there as the sun set, and waited. I could only hear the voices of the other boys, which was a huge comfort. It got darker and darker as I sat there, staring out the window into the woods across the way.
My room was colder than usual tonight, so I wrapped myself up in the huge quilt on my bed. Roxas came back into my room after some time. “Hey.” He said, leaning against the door frame.
“Hi.” I said, smiling up at him. “It’s freezing…”
He came over and sat on the bed. “What are you talking about? It’s warm in here…” He said. “It’s probably because you’re sick…”
I snuggled into the blanket harder and dug my face into the fabric. “I think I might have something to do with all this…”
I looked up at him and made a face. “Don’t go blaming yourself…”
“I found something in the basement last night.” He said. “I didn’t want to tell you because I thought you’d try and sneak down there by yourself. I wanted to wait to show you.”
“What are you talking about?”
He gulped. “I was moving boxes around to see what was behind them…all those myths that Claudette told Scar…I wanted to see if they were real…”
My stomach turned. “And?”
“I found a door handle…attached to the wall…it was encased in dirt behind a loose stone…” He gulped again. “I tried pulling on it and something moved behind it…but that’s when I heard everyone upstairs and snuck back up to the bedroom. I think…I may have let something out?”
“What?” I hissed. “And you didn’t tell me?!”
“I’m sorry…I didn’t know all of this would happen because of it…”
“Dammit, Rox!” I put my hands on my face.
“I’m sorry.”
“You know what? It’s fine. I just need to sleep. This is all too much…my brain is going to overload…please just keep an eye on me so I can sleep?”
He smiled sadly down at me. “Okay.” He said, looking guilty.
I climbed in under the blankets and my sore body melted into the mattress as I heard him leave. He didn’t come back upstairs one time while I lay there, but it was par for the course. I never knew what to expect out of him. Blue did come in and make sure I was okay. He felt my forehead and then made sure I was sleeping peacefully. He ran his fingers down my cheek before he turned to leave the room. Butterflies flew through my stomach and I smiled to myself. Here I was constantly shitting on Specks for playing with two boys’ hearts, but here I was doing the same. Now that I’m thinking about it, maybe I did deserve all of this.