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March, 1998.
'...This tiring battle of survival.
Every single day is another terror
Fear of what the new day holds,
What it entails..
Or is it the same usual endless cycle I will try to escape from?
This constant feeling of fear and despair
Gnawing at my every being- '
She was interrupted, as the door flew open, just in time to shut and keep her diary and two nurses emerged, tray in hand, "Time for your dosage young woman."
Her heart sank and she coward back in fear. Her anxiety kicked in.
"This dose is different from the previous ones. A crazy dose for a crazy woman," the other nurse snarled.
"No!" She yelled, backing up further against the wall, shaking her head frantically, "I'm not crazy!"
Her inside churned as she cried out in agony, repeating the same words she'd been chanting from day one. "I swear to you I'm not. I promise you I am not crazy. Not that dosage please," She begged in tears.
"Don't make us do this the hard way."
"Oh God No!! Please don't inject me!" She shrank further back in fear and trepidation as the nurse brought out the injection.
An average looking man entered. "Doctor! Please tell them I'm not insane. I'm actually sane! I am not crazy!!" She yelled pleadingly.
The man shot her a disgusting look, "What's taking your time? Inject her already. Enough of her nonsense talks. That's what she's been saying since her arrival."
"No! No! No!" She screamed, tears already streaming down her face, "How can I prove to you all that I'm not crazy!?" She then shuddered, "Oh my Steph. Dear God! Stephanie."
"What the hell is she uttering?"
Both nurses exchanged looks before shrugging, as one of them replied, "It's the one name she's been saying since she got here. Heaven knows what name it is and whose,"
"An indication that she's indeed mad," He remarked. "With time she'd get over it. Give her the daily dosage."
The psychiatrist said, shooting her an irritated glance. She had a distant and scared look in her eyes, her lips still chanting the name 'Steph' over and over. "Shut her up already. Will you?" He said in annoyance.
They nodded grimly and proceeded to, just as the lady shouted, pointing towards the door and they traced her gaze and saw the man leaning against the transparent door.
"You are here already! I believe they'll listen to you. They all think I am crazy! Good thing you are here. Just convince them to let me go," Her redblood shot eyes widened all of a sudden, "You are here for me right? This place is hell. Please, I want to leave this hellhole. I am already losing my mind. Tell them all I am not crazyyyy!!" the tears were already falling uncontrollably.
A sadistic smirk tug at his lips as she saw that triumph look in his eyes. She shook her head once more, "Fine! You won. Now please, let me leave this place. I promise to drop the case against you. I won't file anymore report any further. I'm not playing any more games with you. Urghh!! I've had enough of this place already. Please!! Anything but this hellhole." She pleaded desperately, frantically gripping her hair.
The same devilish smile was still plastered on his face as he walked off with the psychiatrist, "Told you not to toy with me, Mad woman," laying a deliberate emphasis on the last part.
"Argghhhhhh!!" She screamed in pain and agony. She tugged at her hair and yanked off the drip on her hand. Her eyes were tired of crying already.
She had only spent weeks at the place but it felt like years. She felt suffocated, her heart was heavy as she cried continuously. Who could ease her from the anguish? From the excruciating torture? Till when until she loses her mind? She doesn't know how long she could bear it more. Bear the unbearable. Why her?? She isn't crazy. Can't they all see!?!! Her mind yelled in distress.
"Better chain the mad woman before she does something drastic. She could as well bite your ears off," He smirked before striding away, alongside the psychiatrist.
"I. Am. Not. Mad," She gritted out at the same time she got chained. She fought against the constraint. "No, let me be. Ignore all he said. He's the mad one not me. He's mentally deranged. Can't you all see?!"
But no one listened. They never did.
And another wave of tears gushed out. She was surprised there were still tears in her eyes. She'd believed it had run dry already. She watched in complete despair and defeat as they chained her. Like an animal.
She hated the world. She hated humans. Humans in form of nurses and doctors.
Not all nurses and doctors are this cruel. Her subconsciousness countered. But she ignored it.
She was gradually losing her mind. She was really going insane. 'Goodness! What are they doing to me?' She cried out, forlorn.
She hated everything. Why are humans so cruel? Her soul whispered, worn out. Every part of her already gave up.. To this battle she'd never win. She thought about him. The monster! The maniac that brought her into the mess. Brought her into the hell. All because she stood up to him. She was only fighting for what was hers. And she had underestimated him. She knew the kind of being he was, but hadn't expected him to go this far. He had promised her she'd pay, and here she was.
"No! No that," She stopped them from taking away her diary. Her only rope of sanity.
They shrugged and left it after many contemplation, "Shut up, mad woman."
They proceeded to inject her, "Please don't," She whispered weakly and tearily. And like always, they didn't listen. Excruciating pain gnawed at her heart, feeling so powerless and helpless.
Is there no humanity left in the world?
She weakly fought against them as they treated her like an animal.. She suddenly felt drowsy as they left her, drowning and wallowing in her misery and pure torture. "Why is this world filled with monsters??!" She screamed out to no one in particular. Her chest constricted as the pain felt unbearable.
She fought against drowsiness, struggling to keep her eyes opened, glancing round the now desolated room.. The hellhole. Her greatest fear.
And her worst nightmare.
She wouldn't wish upon her enemy just a day at the horrible place.
Her heart wrenched in misery as she continued whispering the same words over and over, on the verge of losing her mind already, "I am not crazy." Perhaps, to reassure herself, not them.
She finally lost the fight and soon fell into a deep slumber. A momentary escape from her misery. A temporary relief from her living hell.
Oh, but who could possibly understand her pain?
The pain of seeing your whole life ripped out from you in a blink of an eye. The pain of waking up one day and realizing you aren't who you are anymore and possibly won't ever be. Of being the only sane being amidst insane ones. Of gradually losing your damn mind.. Losing your body, heart and soul. Without any means of reprieve?
And most importantly, the agony of being thrown in a mental asylum?
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Hi guyss! *waves like crazy*
Decided to try something new and excitingggg💃! Watcha think?
Show your immense love and support like always💋🙏.
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