AU?: Nope
A'ight
Era: Takes place in the same years as DoD, so Jade Mountain is just starting and the events of Darkstalker have already happened.
Cool
Name: Lapis
I've seen it maybe once, but other than that, a good original name.
Gender: Female
Coolio.
Age: 23 Years old
Nice.
Sexuality: Demisexual, yet leans towards females.
Coolio. Should I assume she's also bisexual?
Tribe: SeaWing
Okay. SeaWings are cool.
Leader They Support: Queen Coral
Pretty average I'd say.
Abilites: Breathe underwater with her gills, create huge waves with powerful tail, night vision, Fast in water.
A'ight, regular SeaWing stuff. Nice.
Rank/Occupation: Treasurer and Merchant, former warrior during the war.
Oh, cool. It makes sense with the personality. I'm a little curious about the "former warrior" part, though; wasn't she hidden for a while? Why would she join the war? Was it by accident?
Appearance: (In Picture) Lapis's main coloring is a deep sea blue with some scattered blueish gray mixed. Her scales glow a pale cyan color and are quite annoyingly bright, her eyes are a somewhat grayish green color. She often wears a small bag that wraps around her left forearm which she keeps a few items in, like a few gold coins or anything she's collected in her journeys.
I like the appearance so far. I can imagine her scale color very clearly.
The only thing is that you've left out the height, weight, and muscle mass; is she tall? Is she skinny? Or maybe she's lean, or super buff? I wouldn't know, because you don't tell me.
Another thing you've left out is scars. Because Lapis was once involved in the war, I'd say adding some scars.
Personality: Few know the true Lapis, but perhaps most important is that she's clever and dedicated. Of course, she's also cheerful, generous and optimistic, but she's tainted by and mixed with habits of being petty as well.
Her clever nature though, this is what she's pretty much loved for. There are many times when friends count on this and her sense of humor whenever they need cheering up.
Nobody's perfect of course and Lapis has rotten moods and days too. His thievish nature and criminal nature aren't exactly fun to deal with and just affect all around negatively.
Fortunately, her dedication helps lighten the blows and moods when needed. Lapis also is very adventurous, liking to travel up and down the beaches of the Kingdom of Sea looking for things she could collect and maybe even sell for gold. She is quite materialistic when it comes to this, she is always looking for something she can sell to get even more money.
Alright, she's lacking some negative traits, I think.
Rotten moods and days don't count because everyone has that, so the only two negative traits that she has is that she has a thievish and her pettiness, which is a good negative trait, but it's the only real negative traits you have. (please note that whether or not "materialistic" as a negative trait is debatable since it has its downsides AND upsides).
You're good with her positive traits- Clever, dedicated, cheerful, generous, optimistic, humorous, adventurous, collective.
But her negative traits consist of- pettiness and thievish nature.
It's not inherently bad to have more positive traits than negative; sometimes, a person's personality is pleasant and they are hard to dislike. But an 8:2 ratio needs some adjusting; really, 2-3 more negative traits will do if you'd like to keep her personality generally positive.
Backstory: (Keep note that this backstory is still a work in progress!)
Alright, that's fine.
Lapis was born to two SeaWings named Baleen, her father, and Gannet, her mother,
OOOO. STRONG name game!
but when she was only 3 months old, a war was just starting, the three SandWing sisters were fighting over who should have the throne. Both her parents did their best to protect her from the war and keep her hidden so she would not have to see the blood bath that this would be starting, so, they moved her to the deep palace, where she grew up and never really went to the surface because of them. Once she turned 3, she decided she couldn't take it anymore, she needed to get to the surface, she wanted to see all everything the world had to offer, she wanted to see the sun, feel it on her scales, she loved the shin of the sun from under the water, she wanted to just take the sun out of the sky and keep it forever. One night, she snuck out from her small home near the Deep Palace, aiming to go to the surface, she was so desperate to get there, she forgot about the war going on. (The rest is a work in progress! I'm very sorry.)
For being a work in progress, what you have so far is VERY original, and I love it. I'm genuinely intrigued by this story, and if you ever wrote a story or fanfiction of Lapis, I'd love to read it. It is missing some chunks, though, like the rest 20 years of her life.
Also, you might want to make her current age, 23, a little younger, because unless her current time is set a little farther into the future, she should have been 2 years old when the war started instead of 3 months for the timelines to work.
Residence: She lives in Possibility, dwelling in a small house near the river, the house is made of river clay and mud, making it a dark grayish brown coloring.
Okay.
Family: Baleen ( Father, deep green colored scales, blue eyes. A Baleen is a type of filter-feeder whale) Gannet (Mother, Deep blue scales, Gray eyes. A Gannets is a type seabird), Hornwort(Sister, green scales, gray eyes. A hornwort is a submerged, free-floating aquatic plant.)
I won't take any points off since the backstory is a work in progress, but I do hope that the final product will involve Hornwort somehow.
Friends: Inlet (SeaWing), Lamprey(SeaWing), Anglerfish(SeaWing), Egret (SkyWing). Fossil (SandWing), Bonfire (SandWing), Rattleweed(SandWing) Wasteland(SandWing)
Same thing as Hornwort; the final product should include these dragons. I also appreciate the realism; her personality would attract a lot of other dragons, and so it makes sense that she has so many friends.
Half of those I've seen at least once before, but not frequently enough for me to take any points away.
Crush: Inlet
Ooo. I might have seen the name before, but other than that, it's pretty good.
Mate: N/A
Fair.
Dragonets: N/A
Fair.
Overall Review:
The Good Parts::
— The names are all really good. I like the creativity of each and every one of them. Good job!
— The rank is pretty unique. I appreciate the creativity in the idea, and it's nice.
— The abilities are pretty reasonable. I'm getting kind of tired of characters with, like, random powers that, more often than not, are really badly written into the story. It's a nice change to see regular abilities, but still a very interesting character. Characters don't need powerful abilities to be good and well-rounded— Lapis is a good example of that.
— Her overall appearance is clear, and I love the design. There are a few problems you need to work out, but nothing a few simple additions can't fix. I love it.
— The backstory, so far, is going really well! I'd love to know the rest of it when you're done writing it.
The Bad Parts::
— The missing details in the appearance. It's not too bad; you're just missing the weight, height, muscle mass and the scars that she surely would have earned if she was involved in the war.
— The lack of negative traits in the personality. As I said, a personality with more positive traits than negative is generally fine, because those people do exist. Some people are more generally likable than others; it's going to happen sometimes, so it's not really a problem for it to happen in an OC, but an 8:2 ratio, as said, is a bit problematic.
— The Age/Timeline issue. If your character was 3 months when the war started, your character should be 21 at this point, not 23.
How To Improve + Suggestions:
For the missing details in the appearance — add the weight, height, muscle mass and add some scars. I recommend adding 1-4 majorly notable scars on her person, although the number depends on how long she was in the war, which you don't specify since you hadn't gotten that far in the backstory.
For the lack of negative traits in the personality — If you'd like to keep Lapis's personality more generally positive than negative, just add 2-3 more negative traits and be done with it. If that wasn't your intention, and you'd like a more balanced personality, feel free to add more negative traits, too.
For the Age/Timeline issue — Pretty easy fix. Make her 21 (at most, 22) or make her 2 years old instead of 3 months when the war starts in the backstory; or, alternatively, set it 1-2 years into the future.
My Rating:
8.5/10
Originality: 25/25 (This character is completely original)
Realism: 22/25 (1 point knocked off for the age/timeline issue, 2 points knocked off for the lack of negative traits)
Interest: 13/25 (I'm very interested in this character)
Uniqueness: 25/25 (This character is very unique)