𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘯 · 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘥 ⁴

𝟒.𝟐𝟐

── 「THE SELECTION」 ──

     I had to laugh at how absolutely near childish Bellamy and Roan behaved when they were together; unimpressed was how I felt about it. I knew it was because of me, but I had already gone through it with Sheda and Bellamy, and I didn't want to partake in this one –although Sheda had been much more mature about it. I missed him; I realized I missed being with someone with whom I always felt safe and welcome and loved. Roan and Bellamy were both strong and totally capable, but the aura that surrounded Sheda... he was different.

I placed the bag Roan had been carrying for me since he followed me to Sheda's house on the floor and went straight into the bathroom to leave my jacket, pants, and boots covered in rain there and to wash my hands before actually touching anything inside the bag. I didn't want to think about anything at that moment, I just wanted to have a quick shower and get out of the room.

I took out some clothes for me, leaving the stuff for Lila inside, taking my bow and quiver, and hanging them on the upper bunk bed. I had to wash the clothes but I needed a shower first and I had to check my cuts. Will I ever enjoy a day without bleeding? I highly doubt it.

I sighed, undressing completely and getting under the shower, the burning feeling reminded me I still had open wounds but I didn't mind, the worse one had been taken care of and now I just wanted to relax for a moment before facing reality again, before I moved to check on Bellamy and find Lila, make sure my family made the cut and just, hopefully, live in peace for the next five years.

     I ended sitting on the floor, reminding myself of all the questions I had and trying to figure out how to break the news to Sam about Jasper. It's going to break her heart. I can't do this, but I have to. She'll find out eventually, but it's best if she hears it from me now. I sighed. She's lost so much, how am I going to face her? But now, five years in here, we will be okay, we will be happy and we will be able to move on, fix our issues and just... live. I smiled. Live, not just survive, like Jasper said.

- "Bellamy?" –Kane's voice came through my walkie- "Bellamy, come in."

- "What is it?"

- "We have to start making decisions and get a team to go for Raven; if we take much longer we won't make the cut. Over."

I rose from my place and sighed annoyed that Kane didn't even allow me to answer, placing my ear on the door, hearing the shower going. I have to go, we have to bring Raven back. Sam doesn't even know she's not here yet. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, resting my forehead on the wall. I'll come back, Sam, I promise and I will bring Raven with me. You aren't losing anyone else.

- "I'll keep an eye on her." –Roan's voice startled me; I didn't know I was so easy to read.

- "I'm coming back."

- "Of course. We wouldn't want you burning out there."

- "I mean it."

- "Me too." –he opened his eyes and focused on me- "She cares about you. Be fast, I won't be able to contain her inside of the bunker if you take too long."

- "Thank you."

- "Don't thank me. I can't allow Azgeda's Queen to burn for a simple Skaikru." –Yeah, that was more like Roan- "I'll take care of her if you happen not to come back."

- "I won't be long."

I looked at the door one last time before running to the upper level. I knew I'd see her in a couple of hours, but it pained me not being able to tell her where I was going. It's better this way, she needs to rest. I made my way through the crowds of people, finally getting to the control room, finding Kane, Abby, and Clarke there.

- "We just spoke with Raven." –Kane rose from the chair in front of the radio, addressing me- "When she gets here, we'll have all our essential personnel."

- "How many spots does that leave us with?"

- "Including the essential personnel and the places we are holding for the children under 16?" –Abby asked Clarke who nodded- "That leaves us with 80." –she cleared her throat and eyed me- "81 now that Samantha murdered Thelonious."

- "Someone still needs to go for Raven." –I ignored the look of almost disgust she was giving me; I didn't necessarily agree with what Sam had done but I stood by her- "I'd like to volunteer."

- "I'll join you." –I felt Clarke's eyes on me but I ignored her, I was still processing the way she tried to manipulate me.

- "No." –Abby was quick to disagree- "Someone else can go with you. Take Samantha."

- "Sam is under Roan's protection." –I faced her- "Wanna go and face him?"

I knew that was my best card to force them to leave Sam out of this, they wouldn't go against the Ice King. Of course, I knew she could get rid of Roan if she truly wanted to, which was why I had to leave fast, but they didn't need to know that.

- "Mom, Raven needs our help and I know the way to the island. I have to do this."

- "Well, you be safe." –Kane didn't take another second to agree, thankfully- "There'll be a place for both of you when you get back."

I moved to the airlock, followed by Clarke and Abby, wasting no more time to put on my suit as Abby reminded us both that even minimal radiation exposure could kill us.

- "It takes ten hours to get to the lab on a good day and ten to come back; that doesn't give you much room for discussion."

- "Mom, it's okay. We'll be alright."

- "I love you, Clarke. Don't ever forget that."

- "This isn't goodbye. I'll come back. We'll come back."

- "Clarke."

- "A.L.I.E. was wrong." –Clarke placed her hands over Abby's shoulders but what truly caught my attention was what she said next- "I know you're scared because of what you saw in that vision, mom, but Sam's alive and we're both Nightbloods, right?"

- "Clarke, listen to me."

- "Mom, it worked. Sam survived the black rain!"

- "The black rain is very different from the real radiation. Samantha just got lucky."

- "I know you're angry she killed Jaha but her survival proves Jackson and you were right, alright? I'll be okay."

A vision? What is that supposed to mean? Sam dying? Of course, no one would tell me about this. For a second, I wished Sam was there as I saw them hug goodbye. I wished I was a Nightblood too so that I could have kissed her when I saw her. But I wasn't, and it was too late now to go back.

- "We'll be back before Praimfaya." –I reassured Abby as she faced me- "With Raven."

She nodded and moved to the door to exit the airlock when it opened, revealing Murphy and Emori.

- "Got room for two more?"

- "What are you doing here?"

- "We heard you were going after Raven." –Murphy moved his eyes from me to Clarke- "We just want to help."

- "I've been to that island dozens of times." –Emori added- "No one knows the water better than me."

- "Maybe it'll help our chances if we bring back the chosen ones." –Murphy shrugged his shoulders and I understood the real reason they wanted to come with us.

- "There's a lottery." –Abby quickly informed them- "I'll make sure that your name is in it."

- "And Emori?"

- "I'll do the best I can."

Murphy looked at Emori, we all knew what that meant. What was more important now was that I knew Emori could have a place in the bunker. I knew what Sam would do.

- "Sam freed a spot when she killed Jaha." –I looked at Murphy.

- "She did what?"

- "That spot should be for Emori." –I looked at her, Emori's eyes widening as she faced me- "Sam would want you to have it."

- "Bellamy!" –Abby reprimanded me- "You can't do that."

- "We don't rule this place." –I reminded her- "Octavia and Sam do. Go ask Sam if she approves of you kicking Emori out because she's not Skaikru even if she's been more helpful to us than half of the people in there."

- "Bellamy..." –Murphy patted my shoulder- "It's alright. We're coming with you." –he then looked at Abby- "Thank Sam for being the only one thinking about us."

It was uncomfortable to see the interaction between them, Abby nodding her head before hugging Clarke goodbye once more. Once she left and we waited for Emori and Murphy to get on their suits, I addressed Clarke.

- "What's that about Sam dying?"

- "Nothing." –Clarke quickly brushed it off- "She's not coming, she'll be fine."

- "Yeah, she's not coming because I asked Roan to keep her down there." –I retorted- "Not because you say so."

- "Bellamy..."

- "Let's just get this over with."

It irritated me to no end seeing how no one wanted to tell me what had been going on. I moved to take the hat to my suit and put it on just as Emori and Murphy finished with theirs; the four of us making our way outside the bunker. Hold on, Raven, we're coming.

     I probably spent a couple more minutes under the water than I needed, a couple more looking at myself in the mirror, and a couple more checking all my wounds. But I deserved them. I put on my clothes consisting of a pair of ripped black pants, one of Sheda's shirts, and his jacket; I hadn't left any more clothes at his house and it was too late to go back to Arkadia. I shoved the memories aside as I got to the door, opening it and only seeing Roan outside.

- "Unexpected." –I looked around- "I thought he'd be patient enough to wait for me to relax for a second..."

- "He was called into the control room." –Roan moved from the wall- "He said he'd be back as soon as he could."

- "Makes sense, they are probably deciding who gets Skaikru's spots." –I shrugged my shoulders.

- "Everyone from Skaikru has been moved to the upper level until they make a decision. Your sister gave them 12 hours."

- "I'm tempted to go see how that goes. I'll go find her." –I started walking away from the room- "Then I have to find Lila."

- "Who?"

- "Sheda's little sister. You threatened to kill her without knowing who she was?" –I scoffed- "That's low, even for you."

- "I needed you to cooperate."

- "You're welcome."

I sneered at him, but he didn't react so I simply shook my head and started walking. Roan and I made it to the upper level, finding two Trikru guards on the door that was now locked; I assumed every Skaikru was on the other side.

- "Weron Skairipa kamp raun?" [Where's Skairipa?]

One of them pointed at the door, their eyes on Roan; I asked them to open the door for me, more so demanded, and they did as I asked. Immediately, I found every Skaikru shouting and about to kill each other. I landed eyes on Octavia who made her way to us.

- "I gave them 12 hours and this is what they are doing with their time."

- "Are you surprised?" –I looked around- "Where's Jasper? And Monty and Harper and Raven?" –I faced Octavia- "Where are our people? Is Murphy inside with Emori?"

- "I don't know."

The shouts got louder, but that time they caught my attention as I heard a voice I didn't expect to be there. It was Niylah, being shoved around and pushed toward the door to the hatch. The men were trying to get rid of her. And I did not do well with men like that.

- "Why is Niylah up here?"

- "I'll go."

Octavia squeezed my shoulder and moved towards her, followed by a Trikru guard as Roan stood beside me. I realized O had two bodyguards now, not counting the presence of Indra. The Trikru man that followed her efficiently pulled every man away from Niylah as they tried to hurt her; my fists clenched at my sides, Octavia's sword to the neck of one of them.

- "Niylah!" –Octavia called her- "You're with us." -Niylah looked at her and then at me, immediately moving away from the wall she had been cornered at and standing next to me- "She's safe." –Octavia announced, addressing the crowd of Skaikru in the room before looking at me.

- "She'll take Jaha's spot for Skaikru." –I turned to Roan- "Take her inside." –then I looked at Niylah- "You alright?"

She showed me a wound on her face so I prompted Roan to get her out of there and to find Jackson; he nodded and pulled her to the door, both of them disappeared through it, watching as it closed behind them and both of Octavia's men stood in front of it to make sure no one could get past it. I turned to Octavia and nodded. She knocked out the guy in front of her, the one that had hurt Niylah the most, and put her blade aside.

- "You have to stop this!" –a man I had barely seen throughout the time I lived in Arkadia addressed Octavia, he looked familiar- "You're one of us!" –he looked at me- "You too!"

- "We're one of you?" –Octavia scoffed for both of us as she strode towards me.

- "You sided with Pike." –I breathed out as the image played in my head- "We were never one of you." -I patted myself, finding a blade in the holster I wore around my right thigh that I was convinced I hadn't put there. Roan. I took it and approached the man who took a couple of steps back- "You should die out there." –I forced the blade to his neck, words coming slowly through my gritted teeth.

- "Samantha!" –Kane yelled at me- "You can't sentence to death everyone who hasn't sided with you."

- "I can." –I eyed him- "But I won't, because they're all outnumbered now. I won't bother getting rid of them one by one." –I moved back to the door, putting away the blade and standing in between both Trikru men- "You have 99 spots left, make them count."

- "We can't do that!" –someone yelled in the crowd, but this time, I allowed Octavia to take up the reins of the situation.

- "Every other clan has chosen their survivors." –she stood on a higher platform so that everyone could see her- "Every other clan!" –she reinforced, her eyes narrow as she glanced over the crowd- "Skaikru is no different. You have until midnight to choose or you all die."

She jumped from the platform and we both walked outside the level, followed by Indra and both men as the murmurs rose at the other side of the now, closed door.

     The only consolation I felt doing this was that Sam was by my side. Skaikru had to decide fast or I'd be forced to make a move... we'd be forced to make a move. We walked down to the next level through the hallway, side by side, until she finally spoke.

- "I don't get it. Where are our people?"

- "Bellamy, Clarke, Murphy, and Emori left to find Raven."

- "What?" –Sam faced Indra as she informed us of what had happened- "I don't understand." –she shook her head- "Why did she stay behind? I thought she came back with Miller, why did no one tell me?"

- "Probably because of the Conclave"

- "Will they have time to come back?"

- "Kane said they would, but no time for mistakes; they'd get spots in the bunker once they are back."

- "Kane willingly saved a spot for Murphy and Emori? I doubt it." –she looked at me- "You knew they left?" –I shook my head- "Why didn't they come to me? I promised Murphy and Emori I'd get them a place down here, it was part of my terms with Roan."

- "What?" -I turned surprised to look at her.

- "There aren't 100 Azgeda in here, just 96 and me; the other three spots were for them and Jasper because I knew no one would save them." –she sighed, she was worried- "Why didn't they come to me? Do you think they think I've changed? And where the fuck is Jasper."

- "Sam, I'm sure there's a perfect explanation for all of that." –I squeezed her arm- "You can ask them once they are back."

- "Oh, trust me, I will."

I knew Raven had stayed behind because she had radioed when I was still in the room, what I didn't know was that Bellamy was the one meant to go look for her. I knew he'd make it, but Sam and I had to focus now on controlling the Grounders and forcing Skaikru to choose. We saw Roan in the hallway, pointing us in the direction in which he had taken Niylah and soon, we found her in a room with a bandage pressed to her jaw.

- "Are you okay?" –I kneeled in front of her as Sam squeezed her shoulder.

- "Sorry about that." –Sam apologized for what they had done to her up there.

- "They're scared." –Niylah quickly responded- "We all are."

- "Still." –I saw Sam's fists clenching at her sides- "That doesn't give them the right to..."

- "Sam, I'm alright." –Niylah cut her off with a soft tone in her voice; I knew she was trying to soothe us- "I'll never forget what you've done for me. I owe you both my life."

I took her hands in mine and gave them a light squeeze as Sam smiled at her.

- "A word?" –Indra's voice forced us three to turn our faces and Sam to turn around completely to look at her- "Octavia."

- "Go." –Sam nodded at me.

- "You should hear this too."

Roan's voice followed Indra's as he looked at Sam. I still couldn't believe Indra and Roan were sharing the same living space, but this was for the greater good. Sam sighed and followed me up to them, Indra taking the lead.

- "I fear this will only get worse."

- "Skaikru must decide or else the clans will fight them back."

- "You both know how this has to end."

- "Yeah, Skaikru must decide, or else they all die; that much is clear." -Sam crossed her arms over her chest, nodding in agreement.

- "But..." –I eyed Sam, I wished I had things as clear as she seemed to have them- "What if I can? Wipe them out...?"

- "We're together in this," –Sam gave me a reassuring look- "I won't make a move unless you're in it with me, but I will get rid of anyone that threatens our survival."

- "The terms were already given." –Indra reminded us- "There's no going back now for either of you. I know this is hard but you won the Conclave."

- "I'm no Champion." –I looked around me- "I hid. The only reason I survived is that Ilian helped me." –I glanced at Sam- "Because my sister was there. She's the true winner of the Conclave."

- "You survived on your own merits, O; I had nothing to do with that." –she made me face her, her hands on my upper arms- "You're a survivor, you're a fighter... and we will fight to stay alive if that's what it comes to."

- "Wonkru looks up to you." –Roan chimed in with a solid voice- "The sisters who survived against all odds." –I swore I saw a smile on his face- "They'll do what needs to be done once you give the command."

- "I just hope it won't get to that." –I shook my head.

- "Me too."

Sam agreed with me; I didn't expect her to but it eased my mind. After that, Roan and Indra left us there and we both moved back to check Niylah properly; in between the both of us, we had some experience getting beaten up and working through it.

Skaikru had still a couple of hours to make their choice so, once we finished making sure that Niylah was alright and taken care of, Sam and I started walking together around the bunker, Grounders greeting us most places but gaining disapproving looks from others.

- "This bunker is so big." –Sam let out a deep breath- "How am I supposed to find anyone in here?"

- "Who are you looking for?"

- "Lila." –she faced me- "She's going to stay with me until we make it out of here in T minus 5 years." –she chuckled amusingly.

- "You'll go insane if you start counting the days." –I laughed with her- "Most Trikrus are here, she has to be..."

- "Sam!" –a high-pitched scream called our attention- "O!"

Lila came towards us running out from one of the rooms with her arms up and the biggest smile on her face, almost forcing her eyes shut. I had to smile as Sam picked her up from the floor and danced with her in circles before stopping next to me. Sam looked so happy... like she used to be before Sheda died; I suppose she saw a little of him in Lila and that was enough for her now. 5 years... she's going to break at some point and the mourning process for all she's lost is not going to be easy... I should know.

- "O?" –Sam pushed me lightly and I shook my head, getting rid of my thoughts and paying attention to them again- "Did you hear a word we said?" –she smiled as Lila crossed her arms over her chest, a disapproving look on her face but way too cute to take seriously.

- "No, sorry." –I smiled- "I was just thinking..."

- "About what?" –Lila quickly asked me, moving her arms in front of her, prompting me to pick her up, so I did.

- "About something I saw Sam carrying earlier for you." –I lightly touched the tip of her nose with my finger- "Where are your things?" –she pointed at the room she came from and I put her on the floor- "Go pick them up."

- "Why?"

- "Because you're going to live with us." –Sam squatted in front of her.

- "Is the big guy going to be there too?"

Lila became shy all of a sudden, her voice almost a whisper as she pointed behind us. I turned around to see Roan with his eyes glued to Sam and Lila, almost melancholically, but as he felt my gaze on him and his eyes landed on mine, he quickly recomposed himself.

- "Roan?" –Sam chuckled- "No, no, no, this is a girls' room!"

Lila nodded convinced and ran up to pick up her things. Sam rose, shaking her head smiling as Roan approached us. I wondered how Bellamy would react when he met Lila; I was certain he'd help Sam with her. He had always taken good care of me and he had always been good with kids.

- "It's almost time."

- "I'll go." -I answered Roan before facing Sam- "Take Lila to our room."

- "I'll meet you at the main door once I'm done here."

I nodded and started moving back to the upper level. Alright, they better have made their choice.

     I watched Octavia go followed by the two Grounders I had the feeling would become her shadow from that moment onwards. Roan approached me as I took the blade I had used earlier and put it in front of him.

- "This isn't mine."

- "What makes you think it's mine?"

- "The symbol on the handle?" –I stated it as a question but I was just being sarcastic- "Here." –I handed it to him.

- "It's yours, keep it."

- "Why?"

- "You left the room unarmed and I can't..."

- "What makes you think I didn't have a hidden blade?" –I cut him off quickly.

- "You aren't wearing the vest." -I looked at my torso. It was true. For the first time, I had forgotten to put it on. I couldn't explain why, but I had forgotten- "You weren't expecting having to fight again." –Roan stood in front of me, reading the confusion in my face and trying to give me a solution for my mistake; I wasn't sold on it but he didn't need to know that.

- "Yeah, exactly."

- "Sam!" –Lila ran up to me with a little bag, standing next to my legs but away from Roan.

- "Lila," –I picked her up- "this is King Roan." –she wrinkled her nose as she looked at him, more so at the Azgeda mark on his face- "He's a friend."

- "He's Azgeda."

- "We're all Wonkru now." –I explained to her but she tilted her head- "We're all like a big clan now; we have to live down here for a couple of years and we have to get along."

- "Azgeda is bad."

Lila wasn't sold on this idea and had no problems letting us now; before I could say anything, Roan started laughing. Confusion on my face as I looked at him, not understanding what part of our dialogue managed to make him so cheery.

- "You hurt Sam." –Lila kept talking and wrapped her little arms around my neck protectively- "You're bad!"

- "I promise you I'd never hurt Sam." –Roan stood in front of her- "The man that did won't be a problem anymore." –Lila looked at me, looking for answers and I nodded- "And I would never hurt a kid as intelligent as you."

Lila smiled and nodded, complimenting her was probably the right way to gain her trust. She rose her hand at him, with her pinky up and I chuckled, prompting Roan to do the same.

- "Alright, guys." –I laughed as they interlaced their pinkies- "You'll get along just fine."

- "He's very strong." –Lila whispered in my ear, covering her mouth with her hand.

- "He is." –I laughed- "Now, we're taking you to our room, alright? After that, I have something else to do."

- "Are your other friends coming?" –Lila questioned as Roan and I started walking again with her still in my arms.

- "I hope so, they have to meet you!"

- "Will they like me?"

- "If they don't, we'll kick them out of here." –Roan answered for me, gaining a nod from Lila as I shook my head, unamused.

We took Lila to what was supposed to be Octavia and I's room, leaving her there with Niylah as I showed her the bag in which I had packed her two favorite toys and prompting her to organize her things in the little space we had. Then, I moved to my clothes; I wanted to put on the vest, but it felt wrong so, instead, I put on the now clean corset and took a couple of blades before moving to the main door with Roan.

Once we got there, Octavia was already inside with Indra. I had trouble believing what I was seeing: every Skaikru except for Kane and Abby was knocked out on the floor as the remains of the red gas they had used dissipated in the air. Mount Weather again. I walked up to Octavia who pointed at Kane with her head so I followed her eyes: he had just taken out a couple of papers from his pocket. I knew we'd end up using that damn list. I've never been surer of a choice in my life. I looked at Octavia, I knew she had won the Conclave for all I cared but a small part of me still feared I'd have to kill a couple more people had her name not been on Clarke's list.

- "No, the kids all stay." –Kane motioned for one of the men to take him inside, he then faced us- "His father is not on the list."

- "We'll take care of him." –Octavia quickly answered and I nodded to her words.

- "And what about the rest?" –Kane's voice wasn't angry but almost desperate- "The rest of the kids that, after today, become orphans."

- "We were kids when you sent us down here to die." –I eyed him- "I lost my parents too and I survived. Most of us did." –I moved past him next to Roan, who was picking up a familiar guy- "We'll protect them so that they become better than what you made us... than what we are."

Roan looked at me, pointing beside him at a kid lying next to the man he had just picked up; he looked so small and vulnerable, he reminded me of Lila. I motioned Roan to keep going as I lowered to the floor, picking up the kid; he was starting to wake up as he wrapped his arms around my neck.

- "Hey..." -I whispered as I placed my hand on the back of his neck as he rested his head on my shoulder- "You're going to be okay..."

- "Ethan." –Kane moved next to me- "His name is Ethan."

- "You're going to be okay, Ethan." –I started walking back towards the lower levels of the bunker, but looked back at Kane- "The sooner you finish this, the sooner you'll be able to forgive yourself."

I truly meant it; I knew we had forced this on them but it was the right thing to do and I knew that, deep down, Kane knew it too. We'll have five years to move on down here.

A/N: You guys, this is chapter 100 in my Besnik series! Thank you so so much to everyone reading this far for the support and for taking a chance on me. I hope to hear from all of you soon and that you'll keep enjoying my writing for as long as I keep doing it! Love, Seira🍒