My heart races with the feel of Shawn's grip around my arm. He pulls me off to the side so I'm not in the way of anyone trying to get on the bus. He quickly walks off in the other direction and I'm hesitant on whether or not I should follow him or not. Eventually, I decide to chase after him and I practically have to run to keep up with him. I want to shout out his name and ask him what's going on but I can't find the words and end up not saying anything at all.
He leads me to an alley behind the school and he quickly turns towards me, his breathing is loud and hard, making me feel more and more nervous as the seconds go by. He's pacing back and forth in front of me, and now I'm honestly getting scared for my life.
"Shawn," I manage to say. My voice is quiet but scratchy, "you're scaring me. What's going on?"
He continues to pace back and forth but stops when we make eye contact, "there's something. . .Tegan, I. . . um. Look -uh- Lexi. . ."
Shawn dozes off and it looks as if he is about to cry. I'm too afraid to say anything so for a few minutes, we stand in silence, with the sound of our heaving breathing the only sound taking over the small alley.
"Lexi and the guys wanna hurt you."
My heart drops and I feel the sudden sensation to scream out loud. Everything around me gets quiet and a loud ringing starts to ache my ears. I've never been so scared for my life like I am now. Tears start to flow down my cheeks and all I wanna do right now is tear down a wall. My feet start to move backwards until I run into the hard brick wall. I slide down the side of the wall until my bum is down against the concrete. My head falls into my knees and soon I start to cry hysterically.
I can tell Shawn doesn't know what to do. He's squatted down next to me, with a look of confusion and worry. I have break downs like this all the time though, and I don't know how to control myself.
"I know this is hard," I hear him say, "but I. . .I'm gonna help you."
My head slowly lifts from my knees to meet Shawn's gaze. My tears have started to slow down and I'm now able to contain myself. I look up at him, with a look of shock on my face.
"Why?"
He sighs, and sits beside me leaning against the wall.
"Well," he starts, "because what we did to you was wrong. And I'm sick of it. I couldn't watch them treat another human being like that."
"Then why did you?"
"Because I was afraid. I was afraid of them. I didn't want to tell them to stop because I was afraid that they'd do something stupid to me. I know, it's dumb. I was afraid of my own friends. But it's true. I was terrified of them. And I'm really sorry I never said anything."
I can't seem to find any words to say to him. I wanna shout at him for not saying anything but I also have the strange urge to hug and squeeze him tight. I feel his eyes on me and I turn to see a bold brown eyes.
"You don't have to be afraid," he says, in almost a whisper," I will protect you."
I wanna say something back, but I seem to be choking on my own words. The only thing I can do is stare at him, blinking my eyes quickly to make sure I'm not dreaming. My mouth opens, but I don't say anything. I open my mouth several times, but no words make their way out.
The weather starts to get chilly after a while, and I find myself wrapping my arms around my knees to keep warm. Shawn sits quietly next to me. He's been sitting quietly for a long time. Like he's thinking so much and his head is about to explode. My crazy, over protective mother had been texting and calling me for several minutes, but I turned my phone on silent after the seventh time she called me. I wanna stand up and leave, but I can't find the energy to actually get up and walk miles home.
"C'mon," Shawn suddenly says, "I can walk you home."
He stands up and lets out his hand for me to grab, but I just stare at it. "No that's okay. I can walk alone."
"I'm not gonna make you walk that far by yourself. Just let me walk you home," he still holds out his hand for me to grab. I eventually do, and his strong arm pulls me up without any attempt from me.
Now just a couple awkward miles with him, and I'll be back at my boring house.
The weather has quickly gotten colder and colder by the minute. Shawn has offered me his jacket multiple times but I'd tell him no, considering I'm wearing my own sweater. It started to rain just a little bit, and Shawn pulled out his umbrella for both of us to stand under.
I've never seen him like this before. He's talking to me and even smiling at me. His smile. His smile brings a warm feeling to me. When he smiles I feel like I shouldn't have to be afraid of anything or anyone. His smile is the kind of smile that can lighten anyones' mood. Even mine.
After a long hour and a half or so, we finally walk up my driveway to my front door. The rain was still coming down pretty hard, to the point where it was hard to see in front of me.
"So. . .I'll see you tomorrow, I guess," Shawn says.
"Yeah," I reply. I feel like I should invite him inside, and I want to. Just until it stops raining so hard. But I can't find the words I want to say. Shawn turns slowly and I watch as he walks down my porch and into the pouring rain.
"Shawn!" I shout, just loud enough for him to hear me. I'm not exactly sure what I am doing but my mouth seems to be having a mind of it's own right now. "You can, uh, you can come inside if you'd like. Just cause it's like pouring rain outside and stuff. . ."
He walks up closer to me and stops right before me. "Really? I would actually really appreciate that."
I smile and nod at him as I move to the side so he can walk inside. He walks past me, and sets his umbrella down on the table next to the door. He turns back towards me, as if he's waiting for me to do something. When I realize that he is, I struggle to find something to say.
"Um, we could go upstairs if you want to." he smiles and nods at me, and follows me up into my room.
The awkward tension between us grows gradually and soon, I feel like ripping all my hair out. Shawn sits on the edge of my bed, with his hands crossed on his lap. I want to bring something up but I have absolutely no idea what to talk about.
"So um. . .your parents don't mind me being here, right?"
"No. No, they shouldn't care."
"Okay. And you don't mind me being here, right?"
"Not at all."
"Okay cool. Well, I just asked my mom to pick me up from here so what shall we do in the meantime?"
I have to think for a while, but I have no idea what we could be doing right now. Of course, me being me, we sat there for several minutes in silence. The only sound travelling through my room is the choppy breathing coming from Shawn and me. Shawn nervously rubs his hands together and lays them in his lap. It looks as if he wants to say something. His mouth opens but the words don't find their way out. At the moment, I would listen to anything that he has to say. Anything to get out of this situation.
Soon, I'm able to hear the faint yells of my parents downstairs. They must be fighting again. Lately, they haven't been able to look at each other without fighting with each other. My dad has been trying his hardest to move out as fast as he can, but he can't find a place that's not too far away. Now, my mother can't stand looking at him and it hurts me knowing that I'm the cause of all of this.
"Hey, Tegan I'm going to take you to your therapy session-" Brandon's tall figure turns the corner and peers into my room, but he stops talking once he sees Shawn sitting on my bed. "Oh. . ."
Great. Now Shawn knows about my therapy. Though, I would think that maybe he knew already. I look over at him to see that he is staring down at his phone.
"It's okay, I was just leaving," he says. "I'll see you at school, Tegan."
"Yeah, see ya," I mutter. Brandon looks at me and forces a smile. He motions for me to follow him out to his car. Now this should be fun, I get to tell a complete stranger about my metal issues for the next half hour.
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okay so i was supposed to update earlier but when i tried to do so, i couldn't freaking find my chapter. the whole thing was gone again. but, then i went on my computer and i saw it there so then i didn't have to write the whole thing over again yay !!! hopefully this doesn't happen again...anyways thANKS FOR 200 VOTES GUYS ILY ALL !!!11!!1!