Unedited
***
"My words can come out as a pistol
I'm no good at aiming
But I can aim it at you
I know my actions, they may get confusing
But my unstable ways is my solution
To even space
That's why you wanna come out and play with me, yeah"
- Banks "Begging For Thread"
***
Is it sad that I expected my room in the condo to be renovated? I mean, as Colton guided me to my bedroom, I imagined one of those moments when a child comes home from college and as they open the door to their room, they find that their parents gutted everything and made it their personal gym. Well, that is what I expected, however, once we were at the door, and Colton opened it, I found that that was not the case at all. In fact, everything was just the way I last remembered it.
My head turned to face Colton. “I’m surprised you didn’t change the room in the midst of your anger with me.”
Colton looked over at me with his dark brown eyes, “Goodnight, Ms. Snow.”
I raised an eyebrow, “Its only twelve o’clock,” I stated as I glanced at the digital clock by the bed. “I’m not tired,” I spoke as I looked at Colton.
He sighed, “I have work in the morning, and you have an online class to take.”
I gasped, “No, I am not doing that shit.”
Colton looked at me like I was a noodle shy of an Italian dinner. “Excuse me? You are doing your online classes. You are expected to get your GED by December.”
I snorted, “I don’t like school.”
“I could give two pancakes to Sunday what you like. The point is, you are taking the classes. Now, can we please not argue about this? I find that every time we talk we argue, and it is causing me headaches.”
Narrowing my eyes at him, I spoke, “Well, you have two opinions to stop us from arguing and stop you from getting headaches. You can either lock me up in the basement and treat me like you do all your prisoners - by which I think entails very, very few visits from you. In that case we will almost never fight for I will never see you. Or, you can just take out the stick that’s crammed up your ass. You pick.”
“I don’t like the way you are talking to me.”
“I don’t like the way you are treating me,” I respond with slight venom leaking in my voice, compared to the frustration that was drenching his tone.
Colton pinched the bridge of his nose, “Goodnight.” With that being said, he turned around and walked away from me.
“Classes,” I muttered as I walked into the room and closed the door. “As if.”
Don’t get me wrong, I know education is important and until I was kidnapped by Colton, I planned to get my GED. However, what is the purpose now? I will forever be his assistant and prisoner. It is not like I can get a job or go to college now for I will always be where I am now.
Laying on the bed, I turned so I was on my back. My eyes stared aimlessly at the smooth white ceilings.
Part of me at that moment started to wonder what I would do for a time machine or some device that would take me back and allow me to undo all the shit I’ve done. I am not sure where I would go back to, or what I would do differently. I knew I would try to prevent the situation I am in now. Guess I would stop myself from going to my first party. Maybe rethink the first sip of liquor I tasted or slapped myself silly for allowing the people around me to coax me into popping pills and smoking.
I knew that I couldn’t do that. There was no such device - to my knowledge.
“Karma.” I convinced myself that this is all bad karma. The situation I am in is a way for me to pay for what I’ve done - all the drugs, liquor, stealing, stripping, and so much more.
I sat up, knowing that the silence that enveloped the room was only going to make me think and think to a point that would be unhealthy for me.
Getting off the bed, I wondered if Colton had locked me in the room. So, with large strides I walked over to the door.
It surprised me to find that the door was unlocked, but I wasn’t going to complain.
Sticking my head out, I peered to the right and left of the hall, to see if the coast was clear.
Finding that it was, I stepped out, but paused once past the threshold. My head snapped in both directions to make sure someone wasn’t going to pop out and force me back into my room. After a few seconds, I realized no one was coming.
Without second guessing myself and my actions, I walked down the hall, towards the living room. When I entered, I noticed that neither Colton nor anyone else was in the room. My eyes flickered over to the front door.
It would be easy to leave now; no one is watching, and if I was to sneak out now, I just might be able to get a good head started before Colton sends his hounds after me.
I took one step towards the door but stopped.
I couldn’t leave; he’d find me. Colton - well, Mr. Sharp to be exact has practically unlimited resources. I wouldn’t be able to get a mile away from here before he would find me gone and maybe I’d last like a day before he finds me.
Hell, the only reason I avoided punishment from stealing from Duke/Mr. Sharp was because Colton sent only Duke after me (at first). Due to feelings I knew Duke harbored for me, he let me go unpunished for a long time.
However, this was Colton. He wouldn’t let me escape - he’d find me.
My sight settled on the television and entertainment center to find that he had an XBOX 360. I smiled and walked over to T.V.
Turning on the television and game system, I wondered where he put his games. I started to search through the cabinets to finally find the games in the last cabinet on the right.
I pulled out a black disc case and zipped it open.
I began flipping through the case, examining each game. Finally, I decided on BioShock. Putting the disc in, I grabbed the controller that was on top of the XBOX.
Sitting on the couch, I waited for the game to load.
My eyes glanced over at door, and I gave an exhale. I could still leave...
He’d find you, no matter what. The voice of reason spoke.
Nodding, much to myself, I turned my attention back to the T.V.
“Die you bastard!” I shouted at the screen as my finger kept pressing down the trigger. I was only ten minutes into the game and already shouting at the screen like a maniac.
“You use to hate video games,” A voice spoke.
Taking my attention off the game, I looked over at the doorway to see Colton standing there, looking at me. I paused the game and just sat there staring at him, wondering how to reply.
Walking over to the couch, Colton took a seat next to me and gave a sigh. “Don’t let me stop you from playing,” He said as he nodded towards the T.V.
Instead of saying anything in reply, I resumed my game.
“Are you giving me the silent treatment?” Colton asked after a prolonged minute.
In all honesty, I didn't mean to give him the silent treatment. I just did know what to say to him, let alone say anything because I knew he was right - almost every time we talk to one another, we argue.
“Allison, please say something, I hate the silence.”
My eyes remained focused on the television, and my lips stayed clamped together like an oyster shell.
Without so much as a warning, Colton wrapped his arms around my waist, picked me up and placed me on his lap. He grabbed the control from my hands and started to play the game.
I looked at him with wide, shocked, eyes. “What - what are you doing, Mr. Sharp?”
Colton stiffened before pausing the game and looking down at me. “You called me Mr. Sharp,” he stated with a lost look in his eyes.
I shrugged my shoulders, “If you parade around and act like him, it’s high time I start calling you that. The Colton I knew is gone, a fact I have come to face,” I lied.
“You are lying,” he exclaimed. “You know I am Colton - no matter how many times I act like the big bad wolf, you know - and regrettably, I know - he is still in here, Alice.”
I looked away from Colton as the nickname that use to send shivers down my spine, now make me feel empty for he is not Colton. The sooner I realize that, the sooner I will be able to see him for who he really is: Mr. Sharp.
My eyes turned to focus on Colton as I began to realize ... “You are right; I'll never be able to see you fully as Mr. Sharp. As much as I wanted to, every time I see your face I will be reminded of the boy who raised me. I will be reminded of the man that kick anyone’s ass that dared to mess with me. The guy who took care of me when I was sick. The boy who taught me to dance, who showed me while I was a mistake in my parents' eyes - I was not a mistake in yours. I was the girl that you protected and loved, and you showed that day in and day out. You will never be Mr. Sharp - not because you aren’t him, but because you look at me with those same dark brown eyes that the man I grew up with looked at me with.”
Colton gave a small frown, realizing that it was not him that was making me believe that he wasn’t the big and dangerous Mr. Sharp - but our memories. It was the only thing stopping me from hating him with every fiber of my being, and he knew that if not before, he did now.
“One day?” Colton asked.
I looked at him with a confused expression. “One day for what?”
“I will drop this Mr. Sharp act, for one day and be the Colton you're remembered. For one day.”
I gave a short laugh, “You funny,” I stated and then tried to get out of Colton’s lap, but he tightened his arms and locked me in place.
“I’m serious, Alice. I will do what you requested before. I will be Colton - I will show you that I am him, still. I will show you that I am not only the man you remembered but also your friend.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes. Starting now.”
My head looked over at the clock to see it was twelve twenty-nine in the morning. “Now?”
“Yep,” He said as he let go of me and leaned back on the couch. “But there are rules. No mentioning of Mr. Sharp, his treatment towards you, or anything of that nature.”
Taking in what he said, I nodded, “Of course ... yeah...”
Colton wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into a hug. “I’ve missed you, Alice.”
I smiled as a tear escaped my right eye, “I’ve missed you too, Cole.”
“Are you crying?”
I shook my head and buried my face in the nape of his neck, “No,” I muttered.
Colton chuckled, knowing I was lying. Rubbing circle on my back, he spoke, “I think it’s time we go to sleep.”
I shot up, “Sleep? I have twenty-four hours of you being Colton. I’m going to make every second of it.”
“You need to get some sleep, Alice.”
I got off his lap and stood up, “No. I want to stay up and-”
“Sleep is important-”
My nostrils flared, “The agreement was you’d be Colton not Mr. Sharp.”
Colton narrowed his eyes at me and got off the couch. “I am Colton, Allison.”
“No, your not! Colton would ... would...” It was just then that I knew Colton would be making me go to sleep at this hour. He never liked nor allowed me staying up past ten growing up.
“I’d do what...?”
My eyes locked with his as I sighed. “I’m eighteen now, Colton. I can go to bed whenever I want.”
And evil glint crossed his eyes before he scooped me up, bridal style and carried me off towards the direction of my bedroom.
* COLTON’S P.O.V *
I watched the computer screen that was playing a live feed from the living room. My eyes focused in on Allison, who stood at the doorway of the living room. I saw her eyes settled on the front door. She took on step towards the door, making me sit up straight in my desk chair.
She made no more moves towards the door, in fact, she looked away from it and glanced over at the entertainment center. I watched in curiosity of what she was doing as she changed her path and went over to the television.
Allison bent down and turned on my T.V and then the XBOX 360 before she began to search through the cabinets looking for, what I presumed were either movies or games. At first, I was dead set on the fact that she was looking for movies, however a few minutes later I saw her pick out my game case and flip through it before deciding on a game.
I raised an eyebrow in puzzlement at what game she could have picked for from what I can remember she use to hate games. In fact, she found them boring and tiring, hence why every time I played growing up she’d curl in my lap and end up falling asleep.
She went over to the couch and sat down. It was then that I noted that she was playing BioShock by the loading screen.
“She past the test,” A voice said from behind me.
I looked over my shoulder at Tony, who was watching the same thing I was. “This one instant doesn't show that Allison will not leave the first chance she gets. She is a resourceful girl.”
“Why didn’t she leave then? We left her door unlocked, gave her full access to the front door. She stayed - and we know it is because of you.”
I shook my head, “She stayed because she knew I’d find her.”
“That might be one reason, but deep down that girl stayed because she is infatuated with you.”
I snorted, “She thinks of me as a father figure.”
Tony walked around me and to the front of my desk. “Do you think of her as a daughter?”
“Where are you getting at with this?”
“It’s a simple question, answer it.”
I closed my eyes and sighed before opening them and shrugging my shoulders. “I’ve always thought of her as a friend, more than anything ... The thought of her being more has never crossed my mind.”
Tony rolled his eyes, “As a friend I say you are a lying bastard. Any man would look at her and get a thousand naughty thoughts till Sunday about her-”
“Pervert,” I muttered just loud enough for him to hear.
He chuckled, “That might be the case, but I think you two would make a cute couple. However, I have to say as your partner in this whole scheme, you can not - under any circumstances, have a relationship with her. It is too risky.” Tony picked up his suit jacket and put it on. “I have a meeting to attend with my boss. I will be back tomorrow.”
I nodded, “Okay...” Once he was gone I looked over at the screen to find Allison yelling at the screen.
Without thinking, I stood up and walked out of my office. My feet dragged me in the direction of the living room, and before I knew it, I was in the doorway watching Allison play the game.
“Die you bastard!” She yelled as she kept pressing down the trigger of the controller.
“You use to hate video games,” I stated a second later.
She took her attention off the game and looked at me. Allison paused the game and gave a faint sigh. I could tell by that that she either didn’t know what to say, or she decided to give me the silent treatment.
I strolled over to the couch and took a seat next to her before releasing a sigh of my own. “Don’t let me stop you from playing,” I exclaimed as I nodded towards the T.V.
She didn’t respond once more as she looked away from me, focused on the television and resumed her game.
“Are you giving me the silent treatment?” I asked a minute later.
She didn’t reply.
“Allison, please say something, I hate the silence.”
She didn’t even look at me. Instead, she closed her lips - showing me that she was trying not to say anything. I didn’t like that; I wanted her to say something - anything!
Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around her waist, picked her up and placed her on my lap. I seized the controller and started to play the video game she had abandoned as she stared at me with shock.
“What - what are you doing, Mr. Sharp?”
I stiffened as she called me Mr. Sharp before pausing the game and looking down at her. “You called me Mr. Sharp,” I said, wishing I could show her I was not the monster that I portray in the gang. I was still Colton. Her Colton.
She shrugged her shoulders, “If you parade around and act like him, it’s high time I start calling you that. The Colton I knew is gone, a fact I have come to face."
“You are lying,” I proclaimed for her left eye twitched a little at the last part of her sentence, showing she was lying. “You know I am Colton - no matter how many times I act like the big bad wolf, you know - and regrettably, I know - he is still in here, Alice.”
She looked away from me and slipped into deep thought.
I wish there were someway that I could show her that I was still Colton. I keep trying to show her, but she keeps thinking everything I do is because I am ‘Mr. Sharp’. But the truth is half the things I do are not because I am Mr. Sharp, but because I am Colton. The guy that has taken care and loved her (not in the in love way, but the kind of love you share with friends) since she was itty-bitty.
Allison looked at me, and I knew I was about to get it. “You are right; I will never be able to see you fully as Mr. Sharp. As much as I wanted to, every time I see your face I will be reminded of the boy who raised me. I will be reminded of the guy that kick anyone’s ass that dared to mess with me. The guy who took care of me when I was sick. The boy who taught me to dance, who showed me while I was a mistake in my parents' eyes - I was not a mistake in yours. I was the girl that you protected and loved, and you showed that day in and day out. You will never be Mr. Sharp - not because you aren’t him, but because you look at me with those same dark brown eyes that the man I grew up with looked at me with.”
I frowned for she did not see it! I am still the Colton she remembers!
My head started to run ninety to nothing as I began to think of a way to show her that I had not really changed. That all I do is for her and no matter what I will care for her. “One day?” I questioned before I even thought about what I was saying.
She looked at me with a bewildering expression. “One day for what?”
“I will drop this Mr. Sharp act, for one day and be the Colton you remember. For one day.” I was going to show her that I had not changed, that I was still her Colton.
She gave a short laugh, “You funny,” and then proceed to try and get out of my lap.
I tightened his arms around her, keeping her from leaving my side. “I’m serious, Alice. I will do what you requested before. I will be Colton - I will show you that I am him, still. I will show you that I am not only the man you remembered but also your friend.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes. Starting now.”
Her head turned and looked over at the clock. “Now?”
“Yep,” I said as I let go of her and leaned back on the couch. “But there are rules. No mentioning of Mr. Sharp, his treatment towards you, or anything of that nature.”
She nodded, “Of course ... yeah...”
I was shocked at how easy she accepted this. But, I wasn’t going to question it as I gave her a big hug. “I’ve missed you, Alice.”
“I’ve missed you too, Cole,” She said in a weak sounding voice.
Suddenly I felt something wet on my neck. “Are you crying?”
She shook her head and buried my face in the nape of my neck, “No.”
I chuckled, knowing she was lying. Rubbing circle on her back, I spoke, “I think it’s time we go to sleep.”
She shot up, “Sleep? I have twenty-four hours of you being Colton. I’m going to make every second of it.”
“You need to get some sleep, Alice.”
She got off my lap and stood up, “No. I want to stay up and-”
“Sleep is important-”
Her nostrils flared in a cute way that I forced myself not to laugh at.
“The agreement was you’d be Colton not Mr. Sharp.”
I narrowed his eyes at her and got off the couch. “I am Colton, Allison.” It was then that I knew this plan was working. She’d soon realize that all the times I have been bossy and strict with her have not all been because of Mr. Sharp but because I was Colton. The guy who attempts to always look out for her.
“No, you're not! Colton would ... would...” She paused knowing the Colton side of me would make her go to bed at this hour. Well, if the Colton side of me had its way she would have been in bed hours ago.
“I’d do what...?” I questioned, wanting her to admit I do the same thing I was doing now.
Her eyes locked with me and she sighed. “I’m eighteen now, Colton. I can go to bed whenever I want.”
I shook my head, realizing she was not going to listen. Without so much as warning, I picked her up and carried her to her room.
<><><>
A/N:
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