The bag was ripped off my head with so much force that I was sure my head would be ripped off with it.
"Hey! Go easy on the hair! This is literally the one day in my whole life I actually curled my hair!"
"Still doesn't help fix this does it," Barton said while smirking and gesturing to my face.
I pouted and said, "Rude!"
He rolled his eyes.
"Yeah. Keep rolling your eyes. You might eventually find a brain back there."
He opened his mouth for, no doubt, another snarky comeback, when the doors were thrown open and Coulson and a man with a dark patched eye came in.
Of course, I couldn't resist saying,
"Oh dear! It's Patchy the pirate! Go away Patchy. I don't have any money or gold!" I cried hysterically while trying to bring my hands forward to shoo him before painfully realising that they were still tied together.
"I can assure you that I'm neither Patchy the pirate, nor do I want any gold. I do, however, need some answers to the questions I ask you," He said indignantly.
I raised my eyebrows,
"You're Nick Fury, right? Director of S.H.I.E.L.D."
There was an awkward pause which was broken by Barton bursting out,
"You know who we are?!!"
"Clearly, not bright, this one," I say to Fury, shaking my head at Barton," Of course I know who you all are. I've been calling you by your name in my head ever since I met you."
"But......But how??!"
"Yours is pretty obvious isn't it?"
There was another pause, this time broken by me,
"Oh god. You don't recognise me do you?!"
"Should I?"
"I'm the barista from the coffee shop you went to on Saturday. Explain to me again how you're called Hawkeye?"
"Oh.........right," He said with a face that looked like he was struggling to remember me before he registered my last sentence," Hey!"
I rolled my eyes and looked back at the director and Coulson who was watching us with amused looks on their faces.
"Sooooo........." I trailed off.
"Right. Will you both please excuse us." Fury asked the other two men. Actually, he ordered them to.
As soon as they left, he turned to me and told me,
"This is gonna be easy-"
"No, it's not, "I interrupted.
"..If you co-operate with me."
".....Totally!"
He rolled his eyes, before sighing and asking me,
"State your name."
"Technically, you did not ask me that so I don't have to answer it."
"Fine. What is your name?"
"Nicole Kidman, "I said with a serious face.
He sighed, "What is your real name?"
"That is my real name. I'm Nicole Kidman. She is me. I'm her. We are one."
He slammed his hands on the table in frustration,
"Your name is not Nicole Kidman."He said gritting his teeth.
".......Fine! You got me. My name is actually Natasha Romanoff."
He gave me a confused look before sighing again and muttering,
"I'm way too old to deal with this shit."
I gasped and said dramatically," You indirectly called me shit you mean old jackass."
I swear his lips almost slightly curled up into a teeny tiny smile. He turned, hiding his face from me so I couldn't see if he actually smiled.
He went out, possibly to call Coulson.
I was proven to correct when Coulson walked in precisely 12 seconds after Fury left.
Yes, I kept count.
He glances at me before sighing and said,
"Look. I know its hard for you to tell us your name but, can you please help me out here? Fury will have my head if I don't get something from You."
"Give me one good reason why I should?"
"Really?
I nod my head.
"Alright. How about the fact that you care about me even though you don't show it?" He tries to joke.
Keyword= tried
"Hardy har har PC, but no," I said with a blank look.
"....PC?"
I gave him an 'are you serious' look, "What is with you S.H.I.E.L.D people questioning my choice of nicknames?"
He shrugged.
"Whatever. Next," I said pointedly.
"Oh. How about.......I'll buy you McDonald's?"
"Tempting, but no."
"Fury will capture Juan??"
"....You almost managed to scare me for a second."
"Ughhh. I'm really not allowed to do this but I'll coax Fury into recruiting you and drop all charges against you?"
"Wait a seco.......dude! You literally arrested me about an hour ago and now you wanna recruit me amidst the popular belief around here that I am an evil assassin?"
".....yeah."
"Fine, parrot."
"Should I even ask?"
"Probably not."
=====================================================
"No. No way. Nada. Absolutely not."
"Come on Fury. I gave her a promise."
"There is no way I'm allowing her into S.H.I.E.L.D, Coulson."
".....Why not??! She's perfect for it."
"She is a killer, Phil. You know that's not how we roll."
"Well.....yeah, but she doesn't kill anyone innocent."
"Your point being..?"
Coulson sighed," We can change her. Show her how to take them down without killing them."
"You do realise that you're saying that you are going to try to change the ways of a master assassin who has been killing people for 7 years."
".....yeah."
"......I'm so gonna regret this."
" You're so gonna not. Believe me. That kid has a lot of good in her. Someone just needs to show her the right way."
=========================================
"It's done. You start next week. But you have to train this whole week and get your friend to join us."
"Alrighty then, son of Coul. Wouldn't want to keep Juan waiting now would we?"
"He's your guy in the chair isn't he?"
"He is also my best friend and partner in crime."
"Of course," Coulson said with a sarcastic roll of his eyes.
"So...Now what?"
"Now, you keep your part of the deal."
Ahh. My least favourite part.
"Ask away Parrot."
====================================
"So what have we got on her?"
"Everything, sir. Well everything she told us."
"This better be good," Fury said sighing.
"Oh believe me it is," Coulson replied with a slightly proud look on his face, "And we didn't even have to call Romanoff in."
File Number: 17943
Candidate name: Charlotte 'Charlie' Alexandria Adams
Age: 24
Date of Birth: 14.11.1987
Parents: unknown
Alias: Athena - Master assassin
Skills: Trained and is an expert in all styles of fighting, enhanced speed, enhanced immunity, enhanced senses, accelerated healing.
IQ score: 197
Known languages: Russian, German, Hindi, Arabic, French, Spanish, English, Chinese, Korean, Portuguese, Japanese.
Other known relatives: None
Height: 1.63 m, 5 '4'
Weight: 52 kg
Eye colour: Brown
Known associates: Best friend - Ashley Marie Snow
Best friend and 'Tech guy' - Juan Andrew Ramone
A/N Yes I am aware that I used the last names of 2 prominent figures in the DCEU while writing a fanfiction in the marvel universe.
Please bear with me.
Constructive criticism is allowed y'all.
As usual,
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Not necessarily in that order.