"Rosé!"
"What?!"
"Don't you want to wake up?!"
I groaned when I heard Jisoo's voice, yelling from outside of the room. I felt like I was being grumpy and I knew what was the reason behind it.
I missed Melissa.
I just met her last week when she came to Sydney to visit me. She spent 8 days here, leaving all her business matters behind and giving me full attention. She didn't even answer her phone because she refused to be disturbed while having quality time with her needy, always sulking wife.
But it was such a great pain to be separated again. And I cried a lot these days since I thought about her quite often. I started to think if I had became clingy or too attached to Melissa. Well, she was my wife, my good wife to be exact. I was supposed to be attached to her.
She had been nothing but kind to me. She had always been kind ever since school time. That was why I got clingy back then also. I just couldn't go through a day without her in the class if she skipped school and all.
"It's 11am already!" Jisoo yelled again and I rolled over, burying my face into her pillow.
My mind just decided to sabotage my almost afternoon energy by replaying the memory Melissa. It was about how she would wake me every morning whenever we were together. Melissa would never use her voice, but she would always kiss my whole face instead, especially my lips. She would keep kissing until I woke up. And her hands would be around my body, stroking and tapping my back as gentle as she could.
Because she knew how hard it was for me to get up from my sleep. I would frown, groan and be grumpy, rolling my body over on the bed. Melissa would scoot closer to kiss my back and trail up to my neck. Only when she was left with no other choices as her wife was so stubborn to wake up, she would start nibbling my ear, which definitely would wake me up instantly.
I started to compare how good it was to wake up to Melissa and to wake up without her, just like what was happening now. I only got yelled at. Nobody loved me like she did and it was so frustrating.
Well, Jisoo had the right to yell though since I was in her apartment, on her bed to be exact. I had been sleeping here since 2 days ago just to get my mind cleared.
I actually felt like I was a stranger in my own apartment that I rented. I guessed mum really couldn't see my face anymore, or she would snap at me. That was why I had been distancing myself. I even avoided to come home. I would rather stay at Jisoo's.
Mum was different since she started her chemotherapy treatments. I knew that it was so painful for her to endure the procedure. She was expected to get emotional and angry often. But I didn't understand why she would always get mad over Melissa. There was one time I heard she switch off the TV straight away when Melissa was in the news regarding the Incheon Bridge crisis.
Mum really disliked my wife to the extent that she couldn't even hear her name.
But she was the one who would say Melissa's name first whenever she saw me walking in the apartment, asking questions about our marriage such as when we were going to get divorced. That really burned my flame of anger.
Mum even suggested me to give it a try with Jeongkook. I didn't even know how she had the heart to wish for her own daughter's marriage to be broken just to see me ended up with a guy that she would be proud of calling son in law.
I was married to Melissa for 9 months already, and Melissa was mum's daughter in law no matter what. Some people just didn't want to accept the truth because they were trying so hard to fulfill their own denial.
"Rosé!" Jisoo yelled again after she opened the bedroom door.
"Okay! I'll get up now"
"You better! Your phone keeps ringing for hours already!"
"It's probably Kookie"
"Kookie is already here, Rosé. It's probably Lisa"
My eyes shot opened as soon as I heard Jisoo. That would definitely be my wife. Only Melissa who would call to wake me up every morning, and that was so stupid of me to leave the phone at the TV cabinet last night. I totally forgot to take it with me to bed!
"Jisoo, why didn't you wake me?!" I whined as I got up from the bed immediately, planning to go to shower without any delay.
"Are you serious? I didn't wake you?"
"I'm going to shower now, could you please answer my phone if it rings?" I asked for her help as I took out my things from my bag. "Tell Lisa I'm in the shower, I don't want her to get mad at me"
I heard Jisoo huffed. "If I was her I would have been pissed already"
"Jisoo!" I frowned at her tease for making me scared and worried that Melissa was actually mad at me now for not answering her call.
She hated to wait.
"I will pick it up, but I can't promise that I can talk to her"
"And why is that?"
I asked in confusion while my hands were grabbing a small bag that contained all my toiletries in it.
"She's Melissa Maas! How can I just talk to her casually?!"
"Hello Lisa, yeah, Rosé is in the shower, call again in 20 minutes?"
"What? Just like that? Do you even know how hot your wife is, Rosé?!"
"I know, Jisoo. She is so hot when she moans" I giggled as I started smirking.
"Jeez! I don't need to know that! Keep it under your own pants, kid!" She complained. "I mean her appearance, her looks"
My hands stopped immediately when Jisoo's words entered my eardrums. This could be a normal conversation between two best friends, but what Jisoo just mentioned was like a knife, stabbing at every inch of my heart.
"I don't know any of that, Jisoo, I can't see her the way you do" I replied with a low voice as my eyes began to water. "Maybe one day I would, I hope so"
"But you see her better than anyone else could," Jisoo responded almost the same way as I did, probably noticing that my tone of voice just changed by her words. "You see her heart, don't you?"
"How did you know that?"
"Because the first thing you told me about Melissa was never about her appearance," She replied and I formed a smile as the memory of the day I revealed about Melissa to my best friend who had my wedding ring in her hand at that time, came back to me. "You told me how kind she is as a person. That's definitely her heart"
My smile went even wider. Jisoo was right about that. I used to get attracted to Melissa's smile at a very young age, which was impossible for me to know what the word hot meant. All I knew at that time was how beautiful her heart must have been until she was willing to smile at me; her chef's daughter.
And I ended up falling in love with her as we got closer just because she was so kind to me, not her social status or her money. It was always her heart that attracted me, even until now. Melissa was such a good wife just by the way she treated me.
Well, she definitely had her own temper that was really unpredictable. But no matter how loud her voice used to be, how hard she went mad at me, she would never call me names or curse at me.
She never raised her hands, let alone slapped me or anything.
Her kindness towards my needs was everything I adored in her. We were in a long distance marriage but I never felt neglected. No matter how busy she might be, she would always call me every day and every morning.
Melissa was and would always be my good wife... no matter what.
I finished my shower and went straight to the living room, asking Jisoo to take a look at my phone.
"Was it Lisa?"
"If you are referring to Wifey as the contact name, yes it was definitely her with 78 missed calls"
"Ohh God!" I groaned loudly as I threw myself on the sofa. "Why?! I'm a dead meat!"
"Why don't you just call her back? I can call her for you"
Jisoo offered, which was a good idea but it would only work if my wife wasn't Melissa Maas. I never called her before since I knew how busy she could be. It was her who would always call me first, meaning that she was free or freeing her time to call me.
"She is busy, Jisoo. She has a conference today"
Jeongkook joined in all of the sudden. "What kind of busy until she can't answer calls from her own wife?"
"...3 biggest companies in South Korea, Casa Del, FAM, and Maas Corps attending the conference in Paris today-"
"There," I responded to him by referring to the news channel. "That kind of busy"
"I don't understand though," Jeongkook said. "Why do they still invite her to represent South Korea business leaders?"
"What do you mean, Kookie?" I started to get annoyed because I knew what he was about to do.
"Is she still relevant to be a business leader? She's not even good at it" He answered me immediately as I still kept my ears to the TV. "Jisoo, do you agree?" He tried to brainwash her again like he didn't know when to give up. "I mean look at her, she can't even talk! What's the purpose of inviting her?"
"Can you do any better than her, Kookie?" Jisoo shot him back without hesitation.
I didn't even want to entertain him. I wasn't sure if he disliked Melissa merely because he was still in love with me, or because of those rumours he listened to that weren't true about my wife.
"Is Lisa always been like that, Rosé?" Jisoo's question got my attention when I could sense a much better energy in the room that sounded so curious.
"Like what?"
"Well, she appears to be someone who doesn't really talk. A quiet person?"
"Yeah, that's just how she is" I answered that question eagerly. "She only talks about important things"
"What she does when she's not talking then? Counting her money?"
Jeongkook still sounded sarcastic, making me feel so irritated by him.
"Kissing me," I answered him with bad intention in my heart. I was so done in taking care of his heart all these while. "Having sex with me" I heard Jisoo clapped her hands at the back as she laughed so hard, like she was proud of my answers. "Well, I can assure you that Kookie, Lisa is definitely good at it"
I was smirking when I finished that sentence. This guy was a fool if he thought I was still the same Rosé he had known for 5 years. He couldn't just talk bad about my wife in front of me, and expected me not to do anything about it.
The old Roseanne would definitely take care of his sensitivity, his broken heart from getting his love rejected. But he never took care of my heart in return. He just spoke whatever he wanted about Melissa and I couldn't let that happened anymore. I wouldn't care if he might get jealous or hurt even. He had been hurting me with his bad talks about the person I loved the most. So it was about time for me to stand up for Melissa.
Jeongkook went quiet after that, minding his own business as I could hear the sounds he made with his keyboard, probably editing another book. Me on the other hand was helping Jisoo with lunch, cutting vegetables and fruits for salads.
I heard my phone rang later with a ringtone that wasn't assigned for Melissa. But I answered it anyway.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Madam Roseanne Pearce?"
"Yes, speaking" I lifted my left shoulder to hold the phone against my ear as I continued to cut the tomato with my both hands.
"We are calling from St. Vincent Private Hospital"
That was among the times where I couldn't feel my knees anymore, my hands would lose their grips as my brain stopped functioning, and my heart went idle for at least a second.
"Hello? Madam Pearce? Are you still in the line?"
A man's voice in the phone woke me back.
"Sorry, y-yes?"
"We just recieved a call from the Eye Bank. We have good news for you madam-"
▪️▪️▪️
I couldn't stop crying and apologising for it at the same time. I didn't know where my healthy mind had gone. Plus, I had been crying a lot lately like I was being so sensitive and emotional.
And now that I was crying in a public toilet, it was still for the same reason.
My Lisa.
"Roseanne..." She called softly. "You can do this"
"I-I want you, Lisa"
"I know baby..." I heard her sigh. "I'm so sorry,"
I didn't get to respond to her as my chest hurt so bad, and so did my entire jaw for restraining my own sobs.
"Are you mad at me?"
"No!" I answered her immediately when I could sense that she misunderstood me for not replying to her as anger. "I'm not mad at you"
"I tried everything, baby, I swear" She began to explain. "But it would take me at least 23 hours to get there from Paris through connecting flight and everything"
"I know you have, you always do your best"
"I already bought my flight ticket for tomorrow, that's the fastest I got in the last minute deal"
"So you would be here in 2 days?"
"Yeah, sort of, I would be there on the second day after your operation"
I didn't have anything else to say about that since I was fighting with my own self. I wanted Melissa with me at this time, she was the only one I needed the most. I wanted her to be here, holding me in her arms and telling me everything would be just fine. But she couldn't.
"Lisa?"
"Roseanne..."
"Would you mind if I skip this one?"
"What?!" She sounded so surprised. "What are you talking about?"
"I can't do this alone, wifey" I said as I continued to cry again.
Melissa was silent for seconds. I knew she would get mad at me for saying this, but that was what I was feeling now. I had lost my confidence, my faith even, just because I didn't have her with me to get through this together.
"When did you sign up for this?" She finally responded with the same softness in her voice, which surprised me. I really thought she would snap at me.
"3 years ago"
"See? You did that alone. I wasn't even there at that time" She was trying her best to convince me.
"Because I didn't really expect to get this done, wifey" I told her the truth. "It's just-" My breath hitched from the cries.
"Baby, listen to me" Lisa said. "It doesn't matter now if you really want it. You can do this, with or without me" She continued to talk. "You have made big decisions in your life, alone. Back then you decided to have your book published, look at you now"
I sniffled as Lisa's words began to sink in. I knew exactly what she meant by that.
"You never doubt yourself before, Roseanne, that's what I love about you. Your determination, your courage, no money can buy them" She stated, making new tears formed at the back of my eyes. "I wasn't there with you, but still, you decided to marry me. Look at us now"
I couldn't hold it any longer as the pressure under my throat was unbearable, and I just let all the sobs out when I heard Melissa talking about our marriage.
It was indeed the best decision I had ever made in my life. And I didn't need anybody to convince me at that time even though I had Jisoo who was really supportive about me getting married to someone I really loved. She pushed me into it but still, it was me who came out with the decision.
A good push meant nothing if me myself didn't do it exactly as it needed.
"I'm so sorry, Lisa" I finally managed to utter few words in tears. "I just- maybe I'm not rational at this point. I'm being ridiculous"
"That's understandable, you had to make a big make decision in a short period of time, who wouldn't get irrational?" Lisa said. "But you already paid for it, right?"
"Yeah, now I'm just waiting to do few more check ups"
"Then no turning back, okay Roseanne? I trust you..."
I chuckled a little when I heard her. Melissa really knew how to talk to me even though she didn't do talking much. But she did it at the right time when I needed her to, and she did her very best.
Trust. That was the first thing she ever gave to me before she gave me her love.
"Okay..."
"There you go," Lisa sounded happy, and perhaps relieved when she heard me. "I'll come to you as soon as I reach there"
"I would love that, wifey" I responded when my mind was slowly recovering from these sea wave emotions. "But you would be so tired from the flight. I want you to have some rest first at the hotel"
"I won't be tired. I will fly first class, it's already a suite room up there" Lisa giggled, which invited me to do the same.
"You know that I can't relate to that, right?"
Melissa laughed.
"Roseanne?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry we only had our honeymoon in Sydney, I was busy with work" She started to talk in her low voice, giving me goosebumps even though she just did it through the phone. "Do this operation for me and when you already get better, I'll take you for a honeymoon anywhere you want, with a first class ticket"
"Really?!" I got excited as my hand was wiping my runny nose with the tissue paper.
"Of course baby..."
"How about New York?"
"You want to go there?"
"Yeah, it sounds like a very important city for authors. I would love to go there someday"
"Sure Roseanne, I promise I'll take you to New York"
My breathing was steady now since Melissa succeeded in making me calm. Something got into me earlier that made me restless and panic. I got scared, emotionally weak, and longed for my wife to be by my side in that crucial time.
I didn't blame Lisa though. She was in Paris for a business conference that was already in her schedule months in advanced. And the call from the hospital was just sudden, unexpected and shocking to me because I had been waiting for 3 years just to get my turn.
I was glad that I told her about this surgery 4 months ago, and she helped me with the money. I couldn't imagine what would happen if I didn't tell her, and I received the call from the hospital without enough money in my bank account, and also without telling my wife about the operation. I could have had to reject the offer.
"Baby? Are you there?"
Melissa's voice pulled me back when my mind already drove off the track.
"Yes love, sorry I was-" I sighed when I couldn't even finish my own sentence.
"Everything is going to be just fine, Roseanne" Lisa said. "Listen to your doctor and please take care of yourself, I'll be there before you know it"
"Thank you so much, Lisa," I responded with a breathy voice. "...for everything"
"I love you too, Roseanne"
I smiled to that. Lisa was some sort of knew what I was actually saying to her. I wasn't that kind of a direct person who would express my feelings by words, so I guessed both of us were connected much better by the heart after this marriage as we could understand each other without having to really say it as it was.
"Rosé?"
Jisoo's voice entered the room all of the sudden.
"Yeah?"
"They already called for you, for the eye test"
"I'll be there in a minute"
I responded as my voice echoed in the toilet.
"All the best, my baby. I'll be there, I promise" Melissa said with her love and hope that I could clearly tell just by the way she spoke.
She had so much hope in this procedure even though I knew she was actually scared too, and so did I. We were both hoping for the same result and outcome. She managed to stay positive throughout this phone call from Paris even though she used to curse and worry so much back then about the idea of my body could reject the new corneal tissue.
She was still scared that I would get crushed by my own hope and devastated. But she knew she had to be strong for me, and that I needed her love and support to get through this, so she gave them all in a very best way possible.
"Lisa?" I called out for her when my chest was getting heavy again.
"Roseanne..."
I took a very deep breath before I could say something that I waited for years to, and I was feeling so overwhelmed by it as my eyes started to water again.
"Lisa, I-" I stuttered with my lips that just began to tremble, feeling the heaviness in my chest to even breathe.
"Yes baby?" She asked softly, probably to encourage me to finish my sentence.
"I just want to say-" I took a pause as a sob managed to escape my mouth. "I-I can't wait to see you, Lisa"
⬇️ ⬇️ ⬇️
Hello hunnies, it saddens me to let you guys know that this is the last chapter that is available for free reading as for now. Chapter 37 until 50 will be updated according to the timeframe that the publisher and I have agreed on, which is scheduled to be next year (2020).
For those who don't want to wait for so long and interested in owning the published version of this story (with BONUS CHAPTERS that are not in the original version before, and will not be available on Wattpad), it is available for sale⚘
The full book will be sold in Ebook format (epub) by the publisher through PayPal & email, which I will put the details on how to buy it in the next update soon. Thank you so much for all the support and love I received for this story. It has been an amazing journey with you and I can't thank you all enough ❤
I love you guys a lot.
Xoxo,
Kim