-J a m e s -
Books lay in disarray around the room, some slung over the couch and others draped over the glass coffee table before me. The TV ran, some teen Disney show we'd been watching as a joke after studying. We finally managed to accomplish our assigned work before the test, hopefully, Ellery caught my signing during the tapes.
I thought she had, seeing as she was currently draped over the couch like a drunk, her head handing on the armrest and her arm brushing against the carpet. Charlie, her puppy which she'd gone on and on about for hours, was curled up between us and sleeping after hours of playing around the room as we studied. He'd ripped a page right out of my History book. The page now lay in shreds under the coffee table.
Her eyes fluttered as she slumbered, I marked that after the first few moments of watching her. I wasn't watching her to be a creep, just curious. I thought she'd be a peaceful sleep, with those soft limp features but she wasn't...not even close. I could tell she was alarmed in her sleep. Ellery kept shifting around and groaning. I wanted to reach out and calm her but I found it to be something a boyfriend would do, not a friend.
After a few moments of procrastinating, I knew I had to get home to make dinner for Jade and Jude since mom probably gave them a bag of chips and told them to go play, I began to gather my things gradually, shoving them in my bag.
Mom didn't often put in an effort to cook...They often crawled into my room with grumbling bellies and mournful faces. Not because she didn't know how, only because she worked a lot. She had to support us all, even if Jade and Jude's father paid good child support frequently.
As I slung my bag beneath my shoulder, I turned back and swooped a good pat on Charlie's head.
"I'm going, see you tomorrow," I muttered, just as the words had left my mouth I slapped a hand across my face. "I'm so dumb, she can't hear." Charlie cocked his head and whimpered softly. I contemplated waking her, only to decide I'd leave a note but before I could even grab a pen, Ellery popped up rapidly. Her eyes became wide with concern, her chest heaving and her mouth falling open to gulp in air.
Are you okay? I signed, my hands shuddered in interest. She shook her head and tugged her curls through her shaken face. My hand came down on her shoulder in a comforting gesture. I slumped on the couch, my backpack lost in the mania of books and papers. Hey, what's wrong?
Nothing, just a nightmare. Sorry, you had to see that. I wiped the curls from her face then pressed my hand onto my lap. She flickered her eyes to mine, scrunching her nose when I noticed the tears threatening to fall. No, it's alright, I understand. Her breathing came in ragged. I could tell she was still pondering the remainder of the dream she had.
What did you dream about...? My curiosity got the best of me.
I lost my hearing in a car accident, you already know that. I also lost my mom and my friend that day. I often have dreams of those events. I was thirteen, I hardly remember a lot of it but my dreams keep that day burned into my mind. I dreamed this time of when I woke up in the hospital and they figured out I'd lost my hearing.
I had been curious about the crash she lost her hearing in, skeptical that she'd lost her family in it too. Only because It was just Ellery and her brother, it was a strong possibility that she'd lost her family in the accident she lost her hearing in but I hadn't known for sure. Not until now.
I'm sorry, I know what it's like to lose people you were close to. It sucks. A lot. I cared for my grandpa, we were really really close. Since I'd been mostly caring for him, my mom had worked a lot. I was connected to him and it hurts.
A smile, one of understanding, brightened her face. I'd hoped this conversation revealed that she could trust me with personal information. I still knew very little about her, it seemed. She was so closed off and isolated. Nothing my charming ways couldn't chip away at though.
Were you leaving? She asked, her breathing had evened out and she seemed to have forgotten the content of the nightmare. I gathered my bag again just as Ellery scooped Charlie into her lap and kissed his head. He wagged his tail frantically. Oh, I was. My mom will be expecting me, and Jade and Jude will be expecting dinner. Plus, your brother probably wants me out.
He doesn't care, he's been with Jenna all day but I guess I'll see you tomorrow? Thanks for helping me study, your a life saver and a grade saver. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you.
I was rendered shocked when Ellery threw her arms around me and pressed her face onto my chest warmly. My moment of shock was not long-lasting, my arms slithered around her in return. A strange fluttery smile had combusted my mouth. Her body yanked from mine, I laughed when a blush crept over her features.
Bye...tell your sisters I said hi.
Will do, you should come over sometime again, just to hang out. Maybe meet Brock and Danny? They've been asking about you. See you tomorrow.
She nodded meekly as I retired and hurried down the road, the sun becoming lower as I walked.
~~**~~
I made it home quickly since it was just around the corner. My eyes caught a strange car parked just on the road in front of my house, blocking my driveway wholly. The headlights were on, I could hear the engine rumbling with life but I didn't recognize it. Maybe it was Jade and Jude's dad? He had a similar looking car, I thought. Although I hadn't seen it many times.
I peered in the fogged and dirt-caked window, expecting to see Rudy. Not at all. Green eyes stared back at me, filled with wonder and hopefulness. I knocked on her window, my taps furious and deft. Her window slid down, making an awful hissing noise, I cringed away.
"What. Are. You. Doing. Here?" I shouted. Sarah's green eyes parted and became wide.
"Why would you come here? After what you did to us! You're a lying, manipulating, cheating, and conniving baby!" I mean to say another word in the place of baby but I thought wicked of it at the last minute. It would make me just as corrupt as her.
"Well, you are an idiot! None of this would have happened if that Ellery girl never came in! We could have been happy, Jamie. Had a life together but that stupid girl came in and ruined everything! Everything! I love you, if you'd just take me back we could go back to normal, sweetie. Please. You could stop being her friend, sit with me at lunch and everything could be perfect." A smile lifted her cheeks as if she was actually visualizing it. I scoffed.
"You're sick. I don't love you, I probably never did. You fell in love with who you wanted me to be, you fell in love with a fantasy and I'm not that person. I fell in love with who I wanted you to be also, so I guess we were both foolish. Huh? Jokes on us both. Stop texting me, stop calling me and stop stalking me. I will call the police next time, I'm dead serious."
I didn't give her the opportunity to answer, my death glare was enough to shut her up. Her face broke and her lower lip wobbled. "I still love you but it's very clear, that you love another," she muttered as her window crept up and her engine thundered to life. I told myself that she didn't deserve my sympathy, even as she drove away with her hands clenching the steering wheel.
I elbowed the key in and swung open the door with an abrupt shove. My sigh was keen enough to slice an apple down the middle, my shoes clicked against the corridor tile. Jade and Jude must've heard my heavy entrance because they both popped around the corner wearing blue and pink sundresses with matching headbands and leather sandals. Their hair was done up in swirly ponytails.
"Wow, you two look pretty...where are you going?" I questioned curiously. They both twirled and giggled, not catching my question in the midst of their excitement.
"They went and got their pictures taken...Rudy wanted some professional pictures to put in his house since he doesn't have a lot. It was just a quick decision is all, they came out really good," my mom explained, running her hand down Jude's head. "Oh, that's nice, I guess. Does he have a new girlfriend or something?" I only asked because he never expressed interest in those things before...maybe he was trying to impress a girl?
"Well..kinda."
By the grimace on her face, his new girlfriend was standing right in front of me. I spread my tongue along my bottom lip and gaped at her in confusion. As far as I'd known, after Jade and Jude were born they weren't involved romantically. At least that was what I'd been shown.
"I see...do they know?" I flickered my eyes to Jade and Jude. "Yes, I told them earlier today. We wanted to wait a while before telling anyone...we wanted to make sure it was going to work out before spreading the news...maybe don't tell your father yet?" I held my lips together and decided I wanted nothing to do with this.
"I won't lie to him but I won't offer the information. Don't put me in the middle of this." Jade and Jude puckered their lips, oblivious to the situation. "I know. Look...you aren't mad right?"
"No, I wish I was but I'm not. Rudy seems like a good father and a good guy. Just don't try and push this on me. He isn't my father."
"I know...but you can at least try and talk to him, he really is a good guy and I only asked because...I was a little afraid you were still holding out hope that I would get back with Russell," she told me tentatively, as If I was that little fragile boy who didn't understand what his father had done. Always Russell or your father. Said with such resentment. Maybe there was more to that situation than I was aware of?
"No, mom. I get it, he's not getting out of jail and you deserve someone else. I just....I'm not really sure how I feel right now. I want you to be happy, I guess but I also don't want to hurt dad."
I was close to him before he went to jail, we weren't just father and son, but best friends. We would go fishing and fix cars together, sometimes he'd drive me out to get ice cream. I remembered my mother's smile and happy personality before everything spiraled into catastrophe.
"We're going out to dinner with Rudy. You don't have to come but I wish you would...Rudy feels awkward about this too. We just want to make you comfortable."
"No, that's okay. Thanks for the offer but, Ellery and I studied a lot and I'm pretty tired," I excused. Mom nodded her head in understanding, maybe a little irritation, and led Jade and Jude out the door. Sarah was gone, at least.
A sigh rumbled from my chest. My phone chimed, my dad was calling from prison. I didn't pick it up. I couldn't.