Alrighty folks, we are good to go for this year's Standouts! Whew! I tried to vote on all the chapters I read. If I forgot to vote on yours, please do let me know. There was a lot of ground to cover and you deserve a star for putting yourselves out there!
I'll be creating a Standouts reading list comprised of the Top 20 Standouts chosen. The list will sit high on my profile (for what it's worth 😄) until the Top 5 are chosen. Hopefully, this will bring more eyes to your work. Also, I'm aiming to have your feedback to you by the end of July. I need a bit of a breather, but I'm hoping it will be sooner. We'll see.
I'm also separating this announcement out into three chapters, the ones here who will be getting a rated review of their first chapter sent to them via Google Docs, and then two chapters with the entries I'm passing on and an explanation of why.
I'm just going to list those entrants with guaranteed spots and their story titles and loglines because I'm unbelievably exhausted (not from the reading--the stories were good--but from the analyzing and articulating), and I'd prefer to read your first chapters with fresher eyes.
The First Five - These are the first five entrants who were on the ball and entered early:
@Cross-Warrior (Midnight) - Logline: Ash Crest thought she had found her happily ever after when the prince swept her away from her life as a servant for her stepfamily to become his bride-to-be. That all changes when her legs turn into a mermaid tale and pirates kidnap her prince. She will have to join the Midnight Pirates, a crew made up of others cursed by magic, if she ever wishes to get him back, discovering more about the world -- and herself -- along the way.
@CelticWarriorQueen17 (Between Two Worlds) - Logline: When Enid's world is shattered to pieces, she believes that she will never love or trust anyone again. But when she meets Lucius who shares similar heritage, her world is once again rocked upside down as she learns that there is still good in this world.
@MAzhaan3005 (1960 London Love) - Logline: a story set in India and London that revolves around the journey for love and friendship that transcends border, 1960 London Love is an epic tragedy revolving around Meera Bhandarkar, who, six decades later, is asked to recount her saga of love, betrayal, and friendship that has made her the town's legendary figure. As the wounds are opened and secrets spilled, the listener and speaker find a connection and bond that they had overlooked
@myromichaels (Otherworldly Beasts - Finding the Royals ) - Logline: Sarah is ten and too old to believe in fairy tales. Her brother, at seven, still loves a good bedtime story though. When Lucas, who is diagnosed with dyslexia, finds an old picture book of their grandmother, he sneaks it into his room at night and together, they turn the pages. This is the beginning of a marvelous journey.
@inkwellheart (The Wolf with the Iron Jaw) - Logline: When a seventeen-year-old asylum escapee's plans for suicide are derailed by a mutant wolf, she agrees to become the assistant of the young doctor who saves her. Now she's pulled into a world of questionable morals and bizarre experiments as she helps track down the monster's creator in the sleazy city of Tinkerfall.
The Back-to-Backers - These are the entrants from last year who were paying attention (still following me...yay!) and jumped on this opportunity, tout de suite:
@Calmwolf (Fractured Red) - Logline: Redaliya learned quickly that the world doesn't give second chances. After an ill-fated choice, her time is ticking; she goes in search of the only things she can't have. A cure.
@Ellenfairyblue4 (Spirit Guide) - Logline: She's back this time with her daughter. Follow Yazmin on her journey to keep her daughter in a world of paranormal. Will she keep her or not?
@DomiSotto (She Kills Elephants and Men) - Logline: In a world ruled by women, an aging mercenary has to defeat sassy young rivals to keep her lover on his usurped throne.
Bonus! - Okay, so the forth Back-to-Backer happens to be THE GRAND PRIZE WINNER from last year's Standouts contest @italychick (City of a Thousand Gods). Now, it pained me that she just missed that cutoff because I really, really enjoy her writing. Then, I remembered that you never got your 3rd chapter review because you took your book down. SO, if you want to substitute a 1st chapter review of your new work, just let me know. I can't let you advance in the contest, but I still owe you a review, so let me know how you want to handle that.
City of a Thousand Gods - Log Line: A South African-inspired fantasy in which a rainmaker from the slums is given the chance to sway the tide of power and change the outcome of a brewing civil war.
Honorable Mentions - There were two works that I really liked, but their particular market, Urban Fantasy, has some challenges. I'm very familiar with these challenges, writing Urban Fantasy myself. So, I've decided to give Honorable Mentions to @DebAMacD (The Haven High Series Enlightened Book One) and @Groovy_Jedi (The Bone Society). This means that, at some point, I'll share these thoughts with you. It'll be in a less formal way and probably after the Top 20 reviews, but I promise we'll chat about it...just possibly later this summer. I did assess your entries, though, so you have that feedback for now.
Okay, before we dive into the remaining twelve (12) picks for the 2019 Standouts contest, keep in mind a few things:
1) Their assessments are shorter because I had a sense from the logline that the work was a contender and so didn't always need to read their entire Ch. 1 in order to say yes. Sometimes, it was a writer's clear, strong, and distinctive voice, sometimes it was that they started the chapter in a thrilling or very intriguing manner. This kind of quick assessment isn't unusual. I was watching an agent panel and all five of the agents admitted that they make "Yes or No" decisions on a submission within seconds.
2) Some of the entrants had excellent loglines. In particular, I encourage all of you to read the loglines of @hallonn23 @SouthPawStance and @painebook . By leveraging distinctive details as well as compound-complex sentences (Google it if you don't know what I'm talking about), they were able to pack a LOT of interesting information about their story into just a few sentences.
3) This is more for the other chapters where I passed on an entry. Like I said, I really approached this as if I were an agent or editor building my list. Given some of the work I'm doing now, outside my role as a writer, it's not that far off. And no, I can't make you a Wattpad Star, or get your story featured, but let's just say I review a LOT of content and I now understand, even more than before, what agents and editors' roles entail. I get the daunting tasks they're faced with and why they give the advice they do.
All of this is to say, while I can't be brutally honest (because so many people say they want that type of feedback and then get pissy or freaked out when you give it to them), what you're getting here are my fairly unfiltered thoughts as I made my way trough the entries. This means that sometimes I'm reacting in your review to something I've encountered in other reviews and that creates this running commentary that might not make perfect sense now that these entries are out of order (see my mini-tirade on prologues in the subsequent chapters for an example.)
MY TOP 12 PICKS FOR 2019
Username: @InGeenious / Title: The First Lie
Logline: Nineteen-year-old Jillian Mortier had no idea how she got to be a Gamma candidate. What she did know was that she didn't want to be. But as their pack leaders(including her parents) acted out of character, she has no choice but to step up to her destined role, even if she was a human.
Genre: Werewolf/Dark Fantasy
Feedback level: Submission level
PG – Okay, your logline, to me, is pretty lackluster. Truth be told, I'm not big on traditional Werewolf stories, so I don't know what a Gamma is, but I do like some Werewolf stories and this intrigues me. Then, you tell me that she doesn't want to be a Gamma, and my question is "Well, why not?" Adding an additional clause here, starting with a "because" gives you the chance to tell me the emotional stakes of the story–for you to give me a sense of what her emotional arc will be. "Acted out of character" means nothing to me coming into this cold and her destined role, even though she's human, feels cliché. But, tbh, I don't mind cliché, so I go to check out your first chapter, well your prologue, technically. And AWESOME! You open with visceral action. Yes! You slip in high-stakes backstory, sometimes inelegantly, but still effectively. Yes! Your writing has a strong voice to it. So, yes! Yes! Yes! You're in! I'll save the review for your Chapter 1.
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Username: Van_carley / Title: The Water Witcher
Logline: Corbin, a naive Water Witcher trekking across several states to visit a friend, has to hide in plain sight in order to not get caught by a group called The Hounds, who hunt down Water Witchers and sell them as slaves to farmers struggling with a terrible drought.
Genre: Action
Feedback level: Submission level
PG – Yep! This logline does the trick: the story feels unique, it tells me what the central conflict is, and it leaves me wanting more. I don't have a sense of the time-period, though, and this is a somewhat challenging area for fiction (popular in film/TV – Mad Max, Waterworld, and a couple of indies I've seen before—the names of which escape me right now). But, the market for this as a book is trickier. A peek at your summary and first chapter confirm that I'm interested. This is a yes!
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Username: hallonn23 / Title: Southern Saturday Nights
Logline: When Allyson Reed leaves her small, southern town behind to attend the University of Alabama, she is finally free from her strict mother's drive for perfection, but she struggles with a hidden guilt that prevents her from becoming her own person. Through a chance encounter, Allyson meets the football team's star wide-receiver, Daxson Winters, who fights his own demons, but despite the prejudice that haunts his life, Daxson gives his all to help Allyson heal even if it means losing everyone he loves all over again.
Genre: New-Adult Romance
Feedback level: Submission level
PG – 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 – You gave me so much useful and intriguing information in that summary: southern town, attending University, strict mother, drive for perfection, hidden guilt, preventing her from becoming her own person, football star wide-receiver, fights his own demons, prejudice, gives his all... My first thoughts – This story is chock full of conflict! And it's a conflict that appeals to me. It hints at a non-cliché romance inside of a well-loved trope, and there's lots of internal and external conflict. MUST KNOW MORE! So, this was a yes, before I'd even taken a peek at the first chapter.
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Username: Cs3ng3 / Title: Wolf Child
Log line: When her village gets burnt down, young viking warrior Lìfa discovers the dark secrets of her past. Favoured by a god, she sets sail on a quest for revenge, gold... and Midgard's most powerful weapon. Can she stand her ground and find allies or will she end up surrounded by enemies?
Genre: Adventure/Fantasy
Feedback level: Submission level
PG – Okay, first...thank you! NO PROLOGUE!!! Whew! 😊 Okay now, except for the missing comma after "allies," and ending with "surrounded by enemies" which feels weak to me (maybe destroyed by her enemies or whatever the ultimate endgame is would be better?) this logline is perfect! So, on to the first chapter. And YES! You open with visceral action. Love it! I get a sense of your MC. Yes! And though there a few parts that feel a bit rushed, you end the chapter with high stakes. Boom! You're in!
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Username: @SouthPawStance / Title: Quid Pro Quo
Summary: Satchmo Turner is a failed private detective from the rusting heart of the Black Country who is reeling from the loss of his sister and fiancee. He's going nowhere at work, and treading water in life, until he picks up a simple missing person case and stumbles into something much bigger. Satchmo soon finds himself in over his head and embroiled a hunt for ancient treasure, unrequited love, violence and murder in a quiet English village stocked with a cast of characters he could never have imagined.
Genre: Mystery/Thriller
Feedback level: Submission level
PG - 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 – Another great example of a logline that: 1) Followed the directions and 2) Packed itself full of high-stakes plot and interesting character details by using complex sentences. Well done! Now, I move onto your story, and except for one info dumping section, it's vivid, relatable, intriguing and I love your voice! You're in!
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Username: @writerontheisland / Story: The Picasso Project
Logline: Life hasn't been easy for eighteen-year-old Eddie DuMont and his fourteen-year-old sister, Maya. Two years ago, their abusive father walked out of their lives, and the following year, their mother suffered a mental breakdown, so to avoid becoming separated, Eddie and Maya have been hiding out, living in a beat-up 1984 Buick Le Sabre in a clearing in the woods. The rules are simple when you live the way Eddie does: lay low, trust no one, and make sure you have plenty of duct tape on hand; but when their lives become suddenly complicated through a mistake Maya makes, Eddie finds it harder and harder to keep them both safe from the outside world.
Genre: YA
Feedback level: Submission level
PG – Okay, I asked for up to three sentences of a logline, and you gave me three paragraphs from your summary. That's a no-no. But since the contest is a learning exercise, at its heart, using compound-complex sentences, I kind of reworked your story summary. I might have pushed it with that last sentence, but you know... Anyway...even with the re-working I'm sensing a lot of angst and internal conflict in your story summary and that maybe there won't be a lot of highly dramatic, external conflict. But, I like the idea of a male main character in a YA story, and the fact that he's responsible for his fourteen-year-old sister and also that they're homeless, has me intrigued, so I read on. Your Ch. 1 reads very well. You capture the YA voice--and a male YA voice, at that--quite authentically, so I'm really digging this. This is a go!
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User Name: painebook / Title: Paine – Time of Anarchy
Log Line: A CIA-manufactured plague bio-engineered to attack coca plants mutates and destroys food plants worldwide. Michael Paine Martin, the son of a mercenary leader bent on world domination, tries to protect himself and his family from the ravages of anarchy.
Genre: Science Fiction
Feedback level: Submission level
PG – 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 – This logline does what it's supposed to do, so well done! Now, onto your Ch. 1...and nice! Action, action, action. And honestly, I really don't like when stories start with the protagonist as a kid, but this one reads well and it works! I actually went back and read your prologue and I see why you added it and it works too, for the most part. So, you're in!
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Username: @JamarStRogers / Title: See How They Run
Logline: Pretty Little Liars meets One Of Us Is Lying When charming playboy, Liam, is found dead in his backyard, the finger-pointing around town starts immediately. Liam's brother, Press, suspects the killer is one of the many girls Liam left in the dust. But the more Press digs the more he discovers that everyone in San Diego has a secret, and maybe Liam's killer isn't a person at all. He'll need to find the murderer before he's arrested for a crime he didn't commit. Told from multiple points-of-view, flashbacks, text messages, Instagram posts and tweets, this story will keep you reading past your bedtime.
Genre: YA/LGBT
Feedback level: Submission level
PG – Comps! Yes, you have comps! For those who don't know, comps are titles of books, movies, or TV shows that you use to help convey the nature of your plot, the tone of your story, or the audience that might be drawn to the work you're submitting. Comps are becoming an increasingly necessary tool to have to help sell your work. So, you have comps and I get where you're positioning your work. You happen to have picked two of the most popular comps, but there's nothing wrong with that. Do know, though, that expectations are now high. So I dive into Ch. 1 and...yep! You deliver! The writing is tight, immersive, and compelling. You're in!
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Username: @Ladune / Title: Wolrick the Warrior
Logline: The MC -Wolrick- gets banished from his family. Guided by the mysterious mage Myria, he finds a new purpose and perhaps a way to be welcomed home again? The Waste of Wonders awaits, with all its dangers.
Genre: fantasy with a lean towards real-world history.
Feedback level: Submission level
PG – So, your logline is a bit of a hot mess, and I only say this so bluntly because your book description is far better. It gives me a much clearer sense of who Worlick is (Fierce warrior, poor manners, party animal...) and why he finds himself in the predicament he does. If you look at the premiere examples I've highlighted in this contest, draw from your own story summary, and use compound or complex sentences, you can pull more of that interesting detail into, even a one-sentence logline. Okay, truth be told, I skipped your prologue. If you've been reading the other reviews, you'll know why. So now, onto your Ch. 1 and I'm immediately pulled in. Great character development, love the dynamics between the brothers, there are a few POV issues and possibly some other issues as well, but I want to follow this rogue on his adventures, so you're in!
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Username: @LLSanders / Title: The Death of Me
Logline: To promote tolerance in their town, an amateur magician and his ostracized gay friend concocts an elaborate plan to fake one's death, but their plan is tragically botched, resulting in the friend's disappearance. Obsessed with possible clues, the teen hopes the cryptic messages will lead to uncovering his companion's whereabouts.
Genre: LGBT/Young adult
Feedback level: Submission level
PG – Your logline is good, overall, but parts of it are muddled—like, "tragically botched." Makes me immediately think that one character accidentally killed the other during this caper. Which wouldn't make sense if he then goes on to hunt down clues to the other's whereabouts. Your summary is much better, and I would pull details from that for any further logline summaries. I love the premise, though, so I dive in! I skip the prologue (see notes on prologues) and am drawn into your Ch. 1. I'm particularly drawn to Daniel, more so than Thomas, because you've given him layers and issues that make him an appealing protagonist. The writing is quite good, but it's the premise over everything that has me so intrigued. I hope you can deliver because you're in!
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Username: @Piesie2001 / Title: Lethal Confessions
Logline: Six friends get lost halfway through their trip which sent them seeking shelter in an abandoned cabin, beginning a night of death and heart breaking confessions.
Genre: Horror
Feedback level: Submission level
PG – So, minus the misspelling (it's one word—heartbreaking) your logline does the trick. YA Horror is a hot market, I love ensemble casts, and I'm very intrigued by your premise. Cool! Now, I jump into Ch. 1 and I like that you don't waste time and jump right into the setup. The chapter feels a bit rushed, though. I'd like to see more scene-setting and a spookier atmosphere and a bit more differentiation between the characters, but you ended on a pretty good hook, so you're in!
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Username: @ccstarfield / Title: Kickflip
Logline: Sixteen-year-old Matteo would rather spend the summer of 2003 filming his skateboard video than worrying about his best friend Logan's obsession with gay jokes. When he meets and befriends cute emo boy Quinn he begins to find the confidence to stand up for himself, but he still needs to figure out if the flirty boy of his dreams is straight or not.
Genre: Young Adult
Feedback level: Submission level
PG – Okay, truth be told, I read your logline and I'm underwhelmed. This sounds like a lot of Wattpad teen stories, especially BxB. So, I'm up for a read but I'm not terribly excited. And you're focusing on the guys in the store at the start of Ch. 1 and I'm tuning out a bit. And then the guys kick into full-on boy mode, and your characters sound so authentic, I'm laughing out loud. I'm so digging Matt and Logan's friendship and you introduced Quinn from the get-go, so yeah, you're in.
Okay, that's it! Congratulations to all 20 contestants! Please feel free to comment, discuss, or ask questions.
I also encourage you all to check out each other's work (from all the entrants). Even reading a chapter or two helps out your fellow writers. As engagement becomes even more important these days, as a form of social proof, every view, vote, and comment matters.
Best,
❤️ ~ Paula