1. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on
2. Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils...
3. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
4. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
5. Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
6. What you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he aint gonna come.
7. Men are like bank accounts, without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
8. Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. (<- that one's for guys)
9. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
10. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.