"I dunno who she is. Since you never really mentioned anything about her, I didn't really wanna let her in. I tried to stop her. She said she knew you."
Suzy ranted, waving her arms around like she was trying to shield herself in case Nayeon would approach her. But Nayeon didn't. All she did was nod at Suzy and thanked her. She walked into the apartment, shutting the door behind her.
Suzy stepped aside. She wanted to give them privacy but was glued to where she stood. Instead, she scurried over the stool and sat down, trying to make as little noise as possible.
"Tzuyu? I What are you doing here?" Nayeon asked, taking her AirPods out and stuffing them in their case. Her face was still sweaty.
Nayeon's tone was transparent of her disfavor in having Tzuyu's presence within five feet of her. She wanted Tzuyu to know that her being here was not welcome. Tzuyu did get the memo, staying quiet with a blank look on her stoic face.
The taller girl sighed and got up from the couch. Approaching Nayeon, she managed to keep some space in between them.
"Hello, Nayeon. I know this may seem odd to you of why I came all the way out here but I would like for us to reconcile."
The sound of Tzuyu's voice was hushed, assuming artless. From Nayeon's perspective, it was like she was genuinely sincere about this. It was hard to even imagine it but there she was, the taller girl was in her living room wanting to make ends meet. For whenever's sake it may be, at least they would stop despising one another for good.
Truth be told, Nayeon wasn't expecting tzuyu to ever show up in her life at all. Now the taller girl was in her living room, looking at her with pleading puppy-dog eyes. Nayeon couldn't stand that sight. It was weird to see Tzuyu show any emotion towards her other than pure rage and resentment.
Perhaps it was Nayeon's then to get mad, for Tzuyu to hear all the bottled up rage that she had since high school. But Nayeon couldn't bring herself to raise a hand at her since Tzuyu had never really physically abused her other than pushing her around. It might've been because Jeongyeon would do all the punching for her so it was her ego got into all the trouble.
If she was to fight Tzuyu, it would be more for Jeongyeon than for herself. She could care less about all the broken canes, the shoving against the lockers, and taunting when Jeongyeon wasn't around. What got her fired up was how she couldn't really stand up for herself, always seeming defenseless and weak. It's like Jeongyeon always had to fight Nayeon's battles, which although she appreciated, she hated at the same time.
"I don't see why you're here in the first place, Tzuyu. I mean there's nothing for you to apologize for, really."
Nayeon took Kookeu into her arms and led him to his bowl beside the refrigerator. Tzuyu observed Nayeon quietly. Her stare made Nayeon uncomfortable, disapproving of the taller girl's absurd attitude. Carefully, Nayeon poured some kibble into Kookeu's bowl. He munched away at it.
"You and I both know that there is a shit ton of apologizing to be done," Tzuyu replied.
With a sigh, Nayeon stood up to face Tzuyu. She thought about changing out of her sweaty clothes but then she didn't want to prolong Tzuyu's visit either. In conclusion, she would have to talk to the taller girl in her perspiring exercise clothes.
Suzy still remained in the room, immobile and extremely interested in their conversation. She did want to give them privacy but just couldn't rid her butt off the stool.
To ease the mood a bit, Nayeon went for the cupboards. She took out two bottles of wine that were a bit pricey to Suzy's taste but it actually didn't mean much to both Nayeon and Tzuyu. Suzy sat there, her mouth slightly agape. She rarely saw Nayeon ever drink and this would be the first time. Two bottles at that.
Nayeon turned to Suzy, giving her an apologetic look and handing her the other bottle of wine.
"Hey, could you give us some privacy? So sorry you had to come in between this."
Shocked, Suzy nodded her head and complied.
"Yeah yeah. No problem. If you need anything, you know where to find me."
Smiling at Nayeon for the last time, she hopped off the stool and went into her room, closing the door with her foot.
Thank god Suzy is so understanding. I can't believe I have such a considerate roommate. I need to repay her for this.
Once the two were all alone, Nayeon went to face Tzuyu. She didn't seem to be impatient or annoyed at all. Frankly, it was hard to ever read Tzuyu since she gave off giant-brick-wall-that-could-come-to-life-and-kick-you-if-you-weren't-looking vibes.
"Let's have some wine."
Nayeon went to fetch some glasses. She placed them down on the counter. Tzuyu walked over and sat down on a stool, facing Nayeon who was pouring wine for the two of them.
"Thanks," Tzuyu said after Nayeon stopped pouring into the glass that she held in her hand.
Nayeon took the stool in front of her and sighed. She folded her hands together, not even taking a sip of wine before Tzuyu went off.
"Seems like deja vu, huh?"
"What does?"
"Drinking. How you couldn't handle whiskey the first time you went to my house. Was that really your first time drinking? (A/N: Chapter xxvii. Hit Or Miss)" Tzuyu laughed, taking a huge gulp of the wine like it was water. It seemed like she already became comfortable with their tiny dorm room.
"Yes, like I said before. I don't drink. Not until that point. I didn't consume anything else until I started college. Wine really helps me concentrate."
"Hmm..you should thank me then." Tzuyu laughed again, tilting her glass to Nayeon.
She hadn't even touched her glass that wasn't getting any colder the longer Nayeon didn't touch it. Tzuyu had noticed that too.
Nayeon lightly scoffed, not out of spite. "Perhaps, you really were a terrible person."
"Yup, and that's why we're here today."
Nodding, Nayeon stared at the untouched glass of wine. She twiddled with her fingers, deep in thought. The silence between them wasn't lacking any grace of socializing. Admittedly, they both internally agreed that the pause was very much wanted.
Tzuyu needed that moment of stillness to collect her thoughts. She was in a bit of a muddle. First, she had to apologize. She understood that perfectly.
"I'm sorry, Nayeon."
Well, that was a start.
Before Tzuyu and Nayeon were born yet, their parents worked in a company together. For as long as they could remember, both of their families were always doing well. The Im's firstly had Nayeon in their thirties. Not long after, Tzuyu was born. The Chou's decided not to have any more kids due to their busy schedule. But the Im's were ecstatic to know that they were going to have another baby, two actually.
Their parents started out as employees in a tiny office in 1989 and in ten years, grew to be owners of a prominent cargo transportation business. The Im's wanted to expand and separate from the company and did so before their Twin's were conceived. They started doing real estate and it turned out as successful as their job in the company. However, the Chou's wanted their best friends to be connected in some way and proposed a partnership. The Im's agreed so until now, they hold a small fraction of the company.
The Chou's wanted to have a party for the 11th anniversary of the company. That's when Tzuyu was introduced to Nayeon. Right off the bat, she didn't like Nayeon at all. But Nayeon was still very polite to her and always offered to play with her whenever they met.
During their junior high years, Tzuyu pretended not to know Nayeon or even acknowledged her presence. She didn't want to have anything to do with her. There wasn't a day where her parents never pushed her to hang out with Nayeon. She would always her name. Nayeon this, Nayeon that. It's not like her parents brought Nayeon up like an empirical figure. Tzuyu just hated how her name was mentioned all the time.
In comparison, Tzuyu was quite mean to Nayeon than when they went to high school. Tzuyu did everything she could to make her parents notice her. She took up stuff painting, music, theater. Heck, she even did a bit of ballet.
Her parents never fully neglected her. But the maids and guards felt more like her parents and they became parental figures to Tzuyu.
They say that changed her life forever was when her parents missed Tzuyu's big ballet recital for a—what Tzuyu said before in air-quotes "important dinner meeting".
Engulfed by disdain and blind sighted fury, a wicked plan formed in Tzuyu's head. If she couldn't capture her parents' hearts, she would just have to result to drastic measures.
Fast forward to high school. That's when things only got worse. Tzuyu got into all sorts of trouble. She started smoking—the only reason she got the cigarettes is by threatening one of the guards to buy it for her or else he would get fired. She got into fights; Nayeon became part of that equation. There was one time where Tzuyu deliberately placed a bag of weed she bought on the counter for her parents to see.
Her parents were furious with Tzuyu's reckless behavior. Although Tzuyu felt kind of terrible for behaving like that, her reason was that this was her parents' own upbringing. But the girl was in too deep and soon got guzzled in with the mess she made. All the pocket money she had would be spent on her bad deeds.
Tzuyu was angry with everything and everyone that she passed. She hated how things turned out but couldn't turn to anyone. Her focused anger was then turned to Nayeon. Tzuyu wanted a way to make Nayeon feel some pain. When her parents told her that Nayeon had gone blind and started using canes, Tzuyu was malevolently relieved. She then pushed Nayeon around and always took her cane. Every time she saw her it would be; taunt, shove, take her cane, break it, more taunts, repeat. It happened at least once a day.
Nayeon never understood why Tzuyu was doing so but she didn't alter her attitude towards Tzuyu. The situation made Nayeon become considerate of a Tzuyu. She wanted to reach out to her when Nayeon's parents told her about all the bad things happening with the Chou's. But she didn't know how to or if it was her place since she knew that Tzuyu wouldn't accept her help. In a way, Nayeon tried to help Tzuyu by being her punching bag to relieve some of her frustration. Tzuyu never once laid a hand on her ever since Jeongyeon came.
Nayeon was and still is grateful for Jeongyeon. But because Nayeon had such a caring and unselfish nature, she thought that she was only being a burden to Jeongyeon. But Jeongyeon didn't think like that. She would gladly fight anyone for Nayeon without a second thought.
Tzuyu felt like she had everything that a teen could want but she knew deep down that wasn't exactly the case. She felt cheated on by life, dragged by the collar and left with bloody knees. It's like things couldn't get better from here.
Suddenly, a ray of sunshine cane into Tzuyu's life. Someone to take all her problems away. To be her partner and guide to the road of resolution. Tzuyu met Sana Minatozaki on the first day of freshmen year. Sana had immediately caught her attention and Tzuyu knew she needed her to be her girlfriend. To Tzuyu, Sana had an electrical vibe that made her want to protect her when in fact, it was Tzuyu that needed to be protected, to be saved from her demons.
When Tzuyu had difficulties making decisions, Sana was always there to give her ultimatums. With Sana, Tzuyu felt like she had seen the light at the end of the tunnel. Not often did they have fights. But when they did, it would be about Tzuyu's discerning temper. Sana had a lot of patience with this one. Tzuyu never forgets to be appreciative that she stuck by her until now.
Substantially, Sana became the inner voice in Tzuyu's voice. It was because of Sana that Tzuyu would make more keen choices. Since Sana came into Tzuyu's life, she had revamped it for the best of both worlds.
"I was overwhelmed by jealousy since we were younger. Your parents were always there for you even when you started going blind. My parents were SO busy with the company, they rarely had time for me. I was always accompanied by the maids and guards to events that I had. That's what I hated. That you had all this love and care and I didn't. I did so much to get their attention, even if it was a negative thing. Drugs, alcohol, smoking, gambling. And then I met Sana and then all my worries really just went away. When I found out that you became friends with Jeongyeon, I hated that you had another person who cared about you. So I took out some of my hatred on her. And then...Mina..."
While Tzuyu kept on with her sullen rambling, she looked anywhere but at Nayeon. The floor only attracted her attention. Without saying a word, Nayeon gave a small nod, letting Tzuyu know jay she was listening to everything she said.
Tzuyu lifted her head up to see the ruthful smile on Nayeon's face and the way they reached to her eyes. There was a pang of stinging guilt that wrapped around her.
"Fuck. You really have her eyes."
Tzuyu snapped her head back down after that first glance. Nayeon quickly caught on to what she said and her mouth unscrewed open, nodding understandingly. This was perhaps the perfect time to drink that warm glass of wine sitting in front of her.
She was referring to the eyes that were given to Nayeon, Mina's eyes. They were hickory as rich as the earth's soil; stained with the color of hot chocolate on a cold, winter night that wrapped around you like a blanket; engulfing you in its warmth and made you feel at home. Those deep pools of dark-cinnamon swirls seized the depth and heaviness of one thousand untold stories, which imprisoned the sweetness of saccharine chocolate and the bitterness of strong coffee. They consisted of raw emotion and if you observed closely, they would reveal to you the exact thought that crosses the marvels of Nayeon's ominous mind.
Nayeon's irises were a large stain of wood and ebony pigments. Its size gave it a sense of innocence and purity. That was the part where you could see all the buried kindness eclipsed behind the saturated colour of fine, exquisite oud. There was some sort of goodness in her eyes, which told you that no matter what Nayeon did, her intention will never carry any hint of malevolence or malignity whatsoever.
The kindness was always necessarily shown or exposed. If you looked closely, those eyes could reveal all the mysteries that were hidden in the deep beds of those big, brown eyes. From the surface of the stolen specks in sunlight, to the abyss in the abysmal depths of dusky, auburn. It's was a mixture of the connection and shared similarities between Mina and Nayeon. They became one.
"I am forever grateful for her. I never would've suspected it either." Nayeon brought the glass to her lips. She didn't know if saying Mina's name would set something off with Tzuyu.
"I heard the news that you were going to get the transplant. I wanted to stop you but Sana held me back. She said it wasn't my place to."
It was hard for Tzuyu to admit to herself that she had no say in the transplant. Neither of them knew that Mina had become a donor. Tzuyu felt betrayed by this and like a person that Mina couldn't trust. If Mina were to explain, she would tell Tzuyu that her accusations were false.
"But I felt like I was the most devastated by Mina's death. Since I was closest to her. She helped me through some really tough times too. So she was like a sis to me."
Tzuyu held the now empty wine glass out. Instantly, Nayeon picked up the bottle and filled her old-time friend's glass all the way. Nayeon knew that she wasn't to make a lot of the talking here so she kept quiet until she knew that she needed to speak out about a matter.
"I never hated you, Nayeon. Actually, I was jealous of you. You had something I wanted, love from your parents. I hated that shit. And I didn't want to see you happy. I even pushed Mina to confess her feelings to you because I knew how much Jeongyeon liked you. But I also didn't want things to go further with you and Mina, but if it meant tearing Jeongyeon apart then so be it."
Nayeon was absolutely speechless, even in the face of being given the explanation of a lifetime. That was the icing on the cake and it didn't taste well to Nayeon but she got her piece of cake anyway.
Tzuyu scanned her Nayeon's face for a reaction. The silence hung in the air like the suspended moment before a falling glass shatters on the ground. She expected Nayeon to crumple, wail or dissolve into tears, but she did none of those things. Instead, she bobbed her head up and down and grabbed the wine bottle. Tzuyu had the worst imagination and jumped to conclusions that Nayeon would hit her with it.
She was ready for the impact when she opened her shut eyes to see Nayeon holding out the bottle offering to pour Tzuyu another drink. There were no effects of the wine taking place, which she didn't expect to happen since her tolerance for alcohol was pretty high.
Nayeon just heard Tzuyu confess the reasons for all those years of abuse and yet she was nonchalantly pouring another helping of wine for the taller girl. When Nayeon set the bottle down, Tzuyu knew that she hadn't taken it in.
"You must think I'm a bitch, huh?" Tzuyu took that moment of hindrance to chuckle at Nayeon's dumbstruck response.
"No, not at all. I think that although you acted rashly and was really ignorant, you did what your blinding anger was telling you to do. I feel like I would share some similar reactions with you if I was in your shoes. Minus the getting violent part, ya know."
That response that Nayeon uttered shocked Tzuyu for a second. Tzuyu nodded, unfazed by the inebriated effects of her third class of wine. Nayeon couldn't relate to this, only on her second glass.
"Of course. I wouldn't expect you to be violent. Unlike that time in the bleachers."
Looking up but avoiding the eyes again, Tzuyu threw a playful grin at Nayeon. This seemed to lighten up the uptight ambiance that the two had at the start of this talk.
"Please don't remind me. I couldn't imagine seeing the boy's blood on my hands. The feeling of it was enough to make me puke."
"Alright. Whatever you say. I just thought it was extraordinary and really brutal." Nayeon responded with a genial laugh, holding on to her glass that was freshly filled with cold wine.
"How did that even happen in the first place? I assumed you arranged it." Tilting her head, Nayeon gave Tzuyu a narrow yet prying stare.
"I did, somewhat. Those group of freshmen came up to me and started accusing that we were friends. You know my reputation so I told them to bring you to me and then see what happens... I guess we did saw what happened."
"I..I guess so." Nayeon poured herself another glass. Too invested in the conversation, she didn't even realize that she had already finished her second glass.
"I was really shocked to see how great your physical strength was, Nayeon."
Nayeon's silence was somehow comforting and spoke for itself, it was peaceful in a way where you could feel at home and know that no matter what was happening, she was forever there for you. It gave both of them some time to think.
"Is this your way of apologizing to me?"
"I know I have a lot to be sorry for. Sorry for ruining your life. Sorry fo—"
"You didn't."
A blazingly curious gaze was set upon Nayeon again. The interest that Tzuyu was slowly losing each time they pause to think of something else to say came back as she made eye contact. Real eye contact. Tzuyu wasn't holding back. She had to look Nayeon in the eye.
"What?"
"I said you didn't ruin my life. You ruined all the canes that my parents had to buy me and also butted heads with Jeongyeon all the time. But everything else was nothing. I got used to it that I eventually became tired whenever I heard you because I knew it was the same thing all over again. Also, Jeongyeon was there to protect me. I guess in a way, you brought us closer together? Not really sure on that part but it's there."
Tzuyu chuckled, chugging the rest of the contents glass. "How is football head by the way?"
"Even though her hair is much longer than in high school, you still call her that."
"Think of it as her trademark that I gave her."
"Well, she's doing well with her cooking. I would say things are great between us. We rarely argue and try to make time for each other."
"That's nice then. Really nice."
Silence gnawed at their insides. The quietness was like a restorative drought after the frenetic rush of the day. Surrounded the girls like a fresh, pristine, white blanket of snow on a winter's day. The silence entered her soul like an angel's lullaby, smoothing out the roughness of the day. Silence surrounded them like stars in a freckled night sky. Only the air that the air conditioning was emitting because a noise that settled Nayeon and Tzuyu's wavering conscience.
The silence was comfortable, a silence between two long-time friends, even though they weren't rather good friends. They enjoyed the warmth of companionship, rather than the noise of chattering incessantly as they played with their wine glasses.
That is until Nayeon decided to disrupt it by asking.
"And how's Sa—"
"Nayeon, I really am sorry for all the shit I put you through. And I don't expect you to forgive me."
"Tzuyu, like I said before..."
Nayeon reached and placed her hand on top of Tzuyu's without even think she would pull away. There was a needed sense of comfort that should be
You don't need to apologize to me. But, I don't think I can forgive you...yet."
"I understand completely. I just came to erase any bad blood between us and also to bring back something good to Sana."
At the start of her trip here, Tzuyu felt uncertain about apologizing to Nayeon face-to-face. Sana convinced her after a few pep talks and eventually, Tzuyu got on her private jet. It felt like she was only apologizing for the sake of Sana, but then it dawned on Tzuyu that she really had to apologize because she realized how much she had hurt Nayeon. That realization hit her massively.
Tzuyu got up and sighed, placing her hand Son the table and pushing herself up.
"I best be going then."
Nayeon noticed that Tzuyu's glass was already empty but Nayeon didn't even finish the rest of her's. So she nodded her head and went to escort Tzuyu to the door.
"Thank you for coming here, Tzuyu," Nayeon said appreciatively, opening the door.
"I didn't expect you to but this really was a great talk."
"Yes, I agree with that. I'm getting a better grip on my anger issues. Been going to therapy and all that." The taller girl had a small grin on her face. Stuffing her hands into her pockets, Tzuyu made her way out of the dorm.
Going to anger management was quite a big step for Tzuyu to take. She had Sana to thank for that. There was never a time where the good decisions she made weren't because of the influence of the angelic Sana Minatozaki.
"I'm happy that you're doing that for yourself and slowly trying to find your peace of mind." Nayeon stood in the doorway, her hands in the front of her already dried out leggings. She completely forgot that she was sweaty from the jog. Her outfit had somewhat dried up and although she felt disgusted with herself now, she couldn't show that when Tzuyu was standing in front of her.
"Thank you again, Nayeon. I hope to see you and Jeongyeon in the near future."
"Thank you as well, Tzuyu. May we meet again."
There was kindness in Tzuyu's smile, a gentleness. It was the smile of one who laughed with ease and saw a person under the behavior, a soul-connector. She wasn't the kind of person who lived how she believed people should. That's where the rebellion behavior came from.
A subtle sadness also came with that smile. Nayeon felt that it was specially directed to her. But despite all the pain and suffering that Tzuyu had caused her, she was still her friend.
They both bowed to each other and then as soon as the door was shut, Nayeon leaned against the door and sighed heavily. The sigh that escaped her dry lips was slow as if her brain needed that time to process what had happened. Her eyes weren't particularly fixed to anything. They just stared at the empty room, its roomy atmosphere returning once again.
Nayeon finally removed herself from the door and sighed again. She was tired and wanted to do nothing more than to take a nice, relaxing bath.
The sigh was resigned and weary. It signaled the end of deliberate effort and the beginning of passive deterioration. It was a sigh so quiet that it went unnoticed, it's sound and it's movement dissipated out into the vastness of the world and made no effect at all. It was not the start of any butterfly effect. But in Nayeon's chaotically good life it was a pivotal turning point. It was the moment that her longtime frenemy, Tzuyu Chou, had apologized.