Harry's pov.
Real life is a very funny thing, you know?
It takes away everything you have, it plays with you and with your feeling, it makes you fall hard so that you will never be able to get up on your feet again. But at the same time, it doesn't stop from giving you hope, ever.
It's a kind of sick game between the two of you. The winner? The winner is always the one who has more patience, the one who can wait and strike at the right moment. But what do we win in reality? What's the price for so much suffering? So much pain and emotions? I guess the answer is pretty clear. Love and everything that comes from it.
Being in love, is wonderful. Nothing can be compared to it. nothing in this world can reach a kind of pleasure and peace that love can let you archive. The feelings you can feel when you are in love are amazing but also fragile. Just like the bluest of the sky. You just need to get distracted one second and it can easily turn into the darkest of the hells. That's what I felt when I saw Grace standing on the other side of the street, her white skin so beautiful, her blue eyes shining so bright. I was so happy that I felt like flying even over the nine cloud.
When I finally got the chance to wrap my fingers around her, she was gone. Like when you try to catch a butterfly but she always manages to run away, because she knows the second you will get your hands on her, she will die. And now I'm standing on my bed, my hands in my hair, nothing has meaning, nothing has reason to be anymore. I'm so out of place. Where will I go if she's not here? And why I can't get out of this place and go search for my girl? Is she okay? something is twisting inside my stomach, telling me she needs me but... where can I find her? all those questions, will ever find an answer?
There is a little knock on the door and I can't barely speak when I see who's standing right in front of me. Her pale blue hair falling from her face, framing her so familiar eyes, her dimples popping as she comes in. Wearing a leather jacket and a beanie that I swear, I have already see it somewhere. It's red and really nice.
''Hello brother,'' she greets me and hides her hands to her pocket before sitting right next to me. ''Didn't mom ever tell you, you need to fucking look before crossing, you dumb ass.'' she plays. I look at her so shocked. She smells like sand and wind. A smell I recall since when I was young.
''Kira? You can't be here... is this some kind of dream?'' I ask and Kira shakes her head in disbelief.
''Of course it's not. I've decided to come back from the land of milk and honey because I have anything better to do. You're still not giving up on these dumb questions of yours, are you?'' start to bite my nails and stare at her nervously. It makes me feel so overwhelmed having her here, right next to me. ''you took a nice blow here'' her finger are cold on my forehead and I stay there, feeling her touch again. '' I'm so jealous, that was a time I was the only one hitting you properly'' again, I don't say anything. Then she stops and claps her hands to wake me up from my dream.
'' I've been away for years and the only thing that you can do, is eyeing me like I'm some kind of freak ghost, I'm your sister, not a monster'' I raise my eyebrow at her amused by the way death hasn't changed her, not even a bit.
'' Is it normal that you are so mean even as angel?'' Kira giggles and stands up, spinning around like a mixer.
''You just called me an angel. I had to die to hear you saying sweet things about me. Gonna add it to the long list of compliments you have said to me during this year,'' she says and pretends to write something on an imaginary notepad.
''You heard me?'' I ask confused and taken aback. Kira starts to wonder around the room, light as a feather.
''Just because you can't see me, it does not mean I'm not guarding you with my soul and mind. I'm always next to you, even when I shouldn't be.'' she blushes and I bite my lower lip in embarrassment. I guess that if she has been watching me, she stays even for the times where me and Grace kind of let the inhibitions take over us. ''I monitor everyone, my eyes are all over this city and I know everything that is happening. I'm sorry about you and Grace,'' she whispers and I feel a bit better. No one has ever apologized and even if there is no need, it helps me a lot.
'' You know?'' I murmur lowering my head. So even my sister knows about the bad things I've done. I guess there is a place in hell waiting for me.
'' Yeah...and if I have to be gentle, you have been a bit on the edge lately.'' she takes a pause, just for me to raise my gaze and carry on knowing she has my full attention. '' but since I'm not gentle, you have been a fucking asshole with no possibly of redemption lately. You have messed up so much, that I wanted to fucking kill you. you were like that blond girl who always screams Hello in a deadly silent house while the viewers yell at her not to fucking call for bad luck. You left her alone. have you any idea of what she was going through? And that boy? he was all over her, he's falling for Grace, Harry and If you back off, she may fall for him too. he's hot as fuck'' Kira says eyeing me with one eye just to see my reaction. I fist my hands and snort.
''I know... I'm just...so lost Kira. I feel like I'm walking around a dead land and no one will ever come to rescue me. I know I'm searching for Grace's love, but it looks like a mirage in this desert world.'' Kira sighs and grabs my hands, she looks so beautiful, no trace of the fragile girl I saw last time I landed my eyes on her. Her cheeks are full of light, her eyes shining into mine, giving me joy.
''I know little brother. I know you're lost, but I've never been so proud of you as I am now. because even if you fucked up like pro screwier, you still keep on fighting for your girl, and this my pirate boy, it's everything I've ever wanted for you to do. Fight for your dreams.
No one will ever be able to explain how good it makes me feel watching you trying even if you failed, each time harder. I promise it will come a time, where there will be no need for you to scarify anything to reach happiness. But now, it's time to battle fire with fire if it's necessary. There are people Harry, powerful people who wants the two of you apart. There will come a time, really soon though, where you will doubt about her love for you. Don't. whatever she will say or do, Harry stay with Grace. it may not look like it, but you're still the only person who keeps her alive. Who brings her happiness and joy? You made a wonderful job with her, you helped her so much Harry. you both had helped each other out.'' I smile cheekily as she says those things and poke her into the stomach softly.
''You like her?'' I ask as a girl who mocks her friend about her new crush, Kira smiles, showing dimples.
''I adore her. If there is a person I root for in all this mess, it's Grace. She's strong and so independent, still she had made you her only reason to be so I guess now, it's your time to return the favour and stop being a dick. '' I fall back on the mattress and She deles the same, jumping on it only because she knows it annoys the shit out of me.
''I saw she has my necklace'' Kira absurdly remarks and I whiten, feeling like shit for this. I haven't asked for her permission.
''Yeah.. I... I'm sorry. You told me I could give it to whoever-''
''She's the one'' she cuts me off, so sure of what she has just said as she touches the pillow case. '' you are a complete asshole if you let her go. That necklace is sacrosanct, don't you fucking dare treat it as some metal thing that holds no meaning. Respect the symbol of your love for her. once it's given, it's forever '' she ends and I close my eyes.
''We can't be together Kira. When I gave it to her, it wasn't as wrong as it is now.'' Kira turns to look at me with a disgusted face.
''And excuse me, who says this?'' I roll my eyes and puff in frustration.
''Don't you have ears, along with eyes on us? We're siblings Kira, she's my sister...'' Kira nods in understanding and touches her chin, deep in thought.
''The brother shitty plot twist, I almost forgot. You two do not act like real siblings so it's hard to remember it'' it's true. So damn true.
''That's because, I don't even feel like she's my sister.'' Kira moves her lips to say something but then she stays shuts and draws circles on the duvet with her fingers. '' it's kind of sad knowing that we're not sibling, you know?'' I say out of the blue and a smile creeps on her face.
''Yeah, all those years hating on each other, screaming and trying to kill ourselves. We could have saved a lot of trouble and use sponge swords instead of wooden one.'' She plays and I sigh.
''I'm so confused'' I honestly blurt out and a piece of stone slips away from my chest, leaving me a bit freer. I feel so much better now that I'm finally taking out all the shit I have inside.
''I know... but no matter what they do to you Harry, to us. I will always be your sister, the one and only. I'll always be proud of you, I'll always want to be part of your family. This change nothing brother, I still love you the same way I did the first time my eyes landed on your massy hair.
To be completely honest, being your sister, is maybe the only thing that I would never exchange, not even if they could give me my life back. I would not take it if I can't guard you and your love, Grace. You two need me here, more than you think'' I raise on my elbows and stare into those eyes I've missed more than everything. I thought I wouldn't have saw them again, neither her pretty face or her dimples, but here she is.
''Thanks for the pictures, the one you made fall to help me understand Grace needed me'' I simply state and Kira bursts out of laughter, shaking her head in disbelief.
'''Oh Harry. that wasn't me. That frame was just retired to a rusted nail. Not a big deal. But I do hear you when you asked for my help, that's why I'm here'' she explains and I pound a bit. It was more meaningful thinking that Kira was behind that casualty. Life is so unfair sometimes. It doesn't not even let you have the slightest of the hopes.
''What do I need to do? Tell me Kira, give me a solution to this'' her face drops and she bites her bottom lip. That's when she's about to either lie or give me half of the truth.
''I can't Harry. don't ask me. I can't tell you anything. It's not me the one who has to find a solution, it's your problem, I can only say, hold on Harry. hold on to what you feel for her, don't be afraid, don't reject it, don't run away. it's pointless. I swear it's pointless, plus if you stay, destiny may play a good card once in a while. Maybe this one will make you even happy. But you need to be gentle, gentle and patience. You need to control the fury you have inside of you and wait for Grace to fall under the weight of her love for you. it will happen, she just needs time.'' this is so fucked up, so wrong. She's my sister, how am I supposed to forget that? To let my love, take over me. I'm barely controlling myself lately.
The only thing that is stopping me from treating Grace as I did before, is the thought that jumps in my mind every time I try to forget, the thought of making love with my sister, I've never had this kind of claims for Kira. Why do I have to have them for Grace?
''Let me know when you'll remember to put the fact that we're siblings in your love masterpiece.'' I mock Kira, annoyed not by her, but by the fact that I can't have Grace the way she's telling me I should have her. it's so frustrating.
''You seem to forget something I've tried to teach you years ago baby pirate. If it's true love, you can't run. No matter what, you don't run from it. the more you try to escape, the more speed it gains. it will always chase after you and eventually find you. I mean, didn't you notice that every time you and Grace try to put space between the two of you, one is always coming back to the other? You can't stay away, you just can't because your love is real, is something you have to shelter Harry. Something you need to guard with all yourself. Really Good players are working for tricks that will make your skin crawl in order to break you and Grace apart. Don't let her be played by them Harry, protect Grace, protect her and her gift. Life will pay you back with something as sweet as the paradise I live now in.''
She's upsetting me, I'm not understanding a single thing but maybe, just the sound of her voice, is enough to help me calm down. I supposed I just needed to hear the voice of the only person who never gave up on me.
Suddenly, the room starts to move and my head becomes heavy, Kira whitens and looks around scared.
''What the hell'' I exclaim taking my head with my hands. she slowly gets off from the bed and walks towards the door.
'' I guess it's time Harry. she's calling for you and you can't stay with me, it's...just not right. you promised me you would have lived my dreams, I will not take that promise back, not even if I could. Now, do you want to ask me something? This is your last time.'' I blink twice before letting out a long breath and steady a bit my balance. I feel like I'll fall asleep pretty soon.
I think about what question I would have asked Kira a while ago, but nothing comes to my mind. Nothing but this one.
''I was wondering...'' Kira reading my mind smiles and raises her finger to stop me.
'' Don't. don't ask me this, I'm fine Harry but deep down you already know that. Ask me something about you. Ask me something you want to know. Even if you care about me so much, you care about her more. That's why I cheer for her. because she's just like me and you're taking care of her the way you wanted to do with me. if it's not better. Now ask...'' she presses and I roll my eyes, so amazed by her words, maybe too amazed since I didn't want for her to see how much she succeeds into touching my desolated heart. There is no rage in her voice, just love.
''Will we be together? Will she come back to me?'' Kira lower her gaze and take another step towards the door, every time she moves away, it looks like the air is going thinker.
'' I can't tell you that Harry, because whatever will happen, it depends on you and how you will react to.. news, let's call them that. But whatever it is that future will hold for the both of you, you have done something no one would have been able to do, you saved her and if Grace will ever be able to archive to any kind of happiness, it will only be because of you. So Harry don't be afraid, she won't forget you, however I think, you need to work your ass off to make your presence in her life, more than just the memory of a ghost. Be a real hero in her life, not just a role model she reminds off. Be her miracle every day of her life. not just a ray of sun that came once in her lifeline and then simply left. Be the one for her, it's not hard you already are.'' She winks and then moves towards me to press her lips to my cheek. I wrap my arms around her and squeeze her tight, this time not afraid of break her.
''I'm sorry Kira. I'm so sorry for everything'' Kira fists my jumper hard, as she's tasting my embrace instead of just feeling it.
''Don't be Harry. You were there when I wanted and needed you. You did nothing wrong, your mom, she did, she should be paying for this not you and Grace. she should be suffering for her lies. She's good, I know that but I'll never forgive this to her. never. she let you down again, even if I had warned her. Now come back baby pirate, you have another life to protect before it's too late. make sure she has everything we didn't have. Make sure she has love. You almost have no time. remember where your heart belongs, you can' be wrong.'' I nod and before I know, she's gone. Leaving me not emptied, but free and calm. A kind of calmness I haven't feel in a while. now I finally know what to do.
***
Grace's pov.
I have no nails to bite anymore, I've basically eat my finger down till each one is now bleeds.
They said he's okay, but it doesn't seem okay. he's been laying here for hours, and I'm worrying sick.
I haven't had the courage to touch him. I'm so scared I'll hurt him, the only thing that I do is hurting him. everything bad that happens to him, it's just my fault.
''Harry'' my voice comes out so raspy. I hold to the little mattress, everything in this room is depressing, how should people want to come back in a place as bad as this? hospitals are just horrible things, they may help illness, but a part of me thinks that sometimes they always help them to take over the poor ill. '' wake up curly boy. You can't go away like this, I need you. come home.''
Then he does, his eyes flutter and his green comes to view. he has stitches on his forehead for hitting the car glass and a violet bruise. They said he had a little concussion and lost his senses but nothing serious. They said he will be okay as soon as he wakes, they would have let him go home really soon.
Scared and astonished his head snaps around the room searching for something and when he finally finds me, he sighs and sits on the bed, regretting it instantly. I come closer to him and touch his chest, he looks in pain.
The car luckily had the decency to slow down before crushing against Harry's body who was holding me. I'm basically untouched. Which makes me feel even worse. The warning was for me, I should be the one in here, not him.
That was just a little taste of what it will happen to us if I keep ditching and ignoring Scott's words. but he's not going out of this unpunished. He will pay for it, I promise.
''Wow, heaven does suit you the way I had imagined.'' He mocks trying to stretch. I roll my eyes and hit him slowly on the head. He pretends to be hurt and I whiten because I'm afraid I've harmed him for real.
''Fuck'' he murmurs and I lean closer checking if he's okay.
''I'm sorry, I'm sorry'' I excuse myself and Harry only giggles for my way of acting.
''You have never said sorry twice in a row. That's an event'' he plays around and I snort, already annoyed by his teasing mood. I sit down next to him and touch my fingers.
''because I really am sorry. What happened, it's my fault'' my eyes stings and Harry shuts before shifting closer, I can tell every movement hurt him a bit but he ignores the pain, he takes my face into his hands and turn it in his direction.
''Don't you even try okay? I wasn't looking and you just tried to save me. That's the only thing that you did, your only fault, you saved my ass and I will have a scar to remind me to fucking check before crossing'' he giggles and I move some strands of hair away, brushing my tips to the white fabric of his bandages. A ghost of a smile on my lips.
''Are you okay?'' he inquires and I nod. He follows my gestures and sneaks his hands under my shirt, I'm still wearing this dumb uniform. With a swift movement, he moves me up on his laptop and even if I try to struggle away, he keeps me steady. I puff and cross my arms to my chest before he smirks at my attitude.
''I don't want to harm you. let me down'' I beg but he only holds me in his bear hug, pressing his lips to my temple.
''Shut up little koala. I'm just enjoying being back to life. you have to be nice with me and the fact that you were here for me only makes me happier. You could never harm me on propose Grace'' but I did it for real this time. I knew he would have come. I knew something could have happened but I ignored him. I challenged him and that's what I got. I deserved to be in his place. I deserve to be the one hurt and in pain.
''Okay, stop it. you're so pesky'' I mumble and Harry rocks my little body in his arms recklessly, till a nurse comes in and I basically jump off from the bed. She looks at me amused and leads to Harry.
''So we have a hero here. You defended your girl with your own life. that's admirable.'' She exclaims in awe as she makes Harry turn and sit on the bed so she can clean and check his wounds. Harry's long legs rocking a bit, he's so tall, the blue smock hugging his body completely.
''You can say it Ma'am. My girl'' he winks at me and I try to fire back but the nurse beats me in time.
''That's so romantic, I'll give you some ointment so it will heal really soon, but I'm afraid the scar will stay'' she informs him as she takes off the bondages and wipes away a bit of blood. She wets the swab with alcohol and passes it to his forehead, making him cringe.
''Grace'' Harry squeezes his eyes pulling an hand out '' come holding my hand, it hurts as fuck'' the nurse giggles and I shake my head, doing as he asks. I'd do anything, to erase this. but I guess, I just can't.
Damien called hours ago on Harry's phone, he was worried sick about me but I managed to reassure him, it was maybe the hardest thing to do. I had to hand the call to one of the nurse there so she could have confirmed my condition. He said he was coming but I stopped him. I need to keep him away, if he knows who's behind this, he will burn the Fitzgerald residence down and, as long as I'd like to see Scott paying for this, I just can't let my dad make him even more upset. I can't imagine what he would do to Harry if I let Damien do as he pleased.
''Okay, you're cleaned as a baby, now I'll let you dress up and then you can go home, here's the medicine you need to take, have a nice return home'' she explains and with a quick smile to me, she leaves us. Harry kicks the cover away and slowly; he reaches for his jeans. I swiftly move next to him and help him dress up, trying my hardest not to glare at his body. I give him the pills for the pain and he gulps them down, shaking his head in disgust as he swallowing them down.
''You sure you're okay'' he casually asks as he wears his V neck jumper, I look how the white of his skin disappears under the fabric hypnotized.
'' Don't say it again'' I plead him and he turns to look at me confused '' I can't stand that you're the only one who got hurt today. Please just stop asking me Harry'' my stomach twists, my heart aches and I walk towards the door. I want to run away.
Why Harry. why did I have to fall for him and not for a boy who at least deserved a bit of bad in his life. Harry is like an angel and every time I touch him, I feel like I'm soiling him with my desire and love. I feel like I'm forcing him to taste the hell even if he shouldn't be used to anything like this. how would be his life If I wasn't here to drive him crazy?
''Hey, my little girl, what's wrong? Aren't you really thinking this is your fault, are you? please don't, it's not. Nothing as innocent as you could hurt another human being. You just have to stop paying for other's madness okay? '' I try to fire back but his cold hands are on my skin, waking me up. My eyes travel up to his and for just a second, the need of kissing him, is so strong that I can barely manage to stop my feet to take a step towards him.
''Let's run away'' Instead he guides me out of here and calls a cab to take us home. His car is still at Lee's. I feel like he's running from something as he drags me away from the hospital. and the best part, is that i'm letting him take me with him.
The sun is going down, down as my will to keep the distance. When I finally understand we're at our apartment, Harry doesn't give me the time to bite back or protest. He helps me out of the taxi and leads me in. I want to let go of his hand, but I can't. I want to distance myself from him, to set him free, but is my heart that is guiding me home. It's too strong for me.
As soon as the door is closed, I take a long breath of relief but my calmness doesn't last long, Harry grabs me by the arms and I'm pressed against the wall in an heartbeat, his eyes burning into my body as he place his forehead on mine.
''Harry, you promised'' I remind him but he caresses my cheek with his palm, ignoring me completely.
''Tell me Grace'' he says, I'm trying not to faint for the amount of emotions I'm feeling having him so close. '' tell me my lovely Grace, how could you detoxify from something so good?'' I gulp down and try to gain more space as he leads down, his lips so dangerously close.
'' I'm done fighting against this. you're mine. you always have been.''